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[Doubloon-Seven]

It is time to take part in the greatest of galactic pastimes; screw with the primitives!

Specifically, the pink-skinned ones native to an Oxygen-Nitrogen planet known locally as "Earth", which, totally coincidentally, is the second most popular name for a species' home planet after "Home".

Anyway, you've got yourself a ship full of R&D, labs, and experiment bays. It's time for some abductions!

-Weak Laser
-Biogenerator
-Technological Assembly Table
-Research Lab

None. Get to abducting!

[Superdorf]

Wonderful! Let's start small.
Burn a few crop circles with the Weak Laser, and abduct a cow.
Meanwhile, have our technicians (we have those, right?) research and assemble some kind of force field generator... we need protection.

[RoseHeart]

Wonderful! Let's start small.
Burn a few crop circles with the Weak Laser, and abduct a cow.
Meanwhile, have our technicians (we have those, right?) research and assemble some kind of force field generator... we need protection.

+1 Though I am also partial to the ones they call "elephants".

[NRDL]

Wonderful! Let's start small.
Burn a few crop circles with the Weak Laser, and abduct a cow.
Meanwhile, have our technicians (we have those, right?) research and assemble some kind of force field generator... we need protection.

+1 Though I am also partial to the ones they call "elephants".

+1

[Doubloon-Seven]

You telepathically signal your Chief Mechanic. Hey, Vadelon-9, go and figure out how to get some shields up and running. I don't want to have to deal with beating out the dings if one of the primitives shoots a brick at us or something.

2d6 -> 3+4=7

The reply comes a few day-eighths later. It's up and running. Scooped up some gases from the local atmosphere, ionized the gases. Smaller projectiles will just melt and turn into easily-removed nonharmful slag. Should protect us from shockwaves, too.

With that in mind, you fly off to begin the fun part of the job. Landing at night in the northern part of a sinuous continent -- local resources dub it "America" -- a couple of junior technicians run off to wrangle a domestic animal to get a feel for the local biology in experiments. This one is a quadriform spotted mammal which appears to be used as a source of milk. Gross.

With that on board, your ship takes off to burn your name into a crop field. You know, for giggles.

1d100 -> 18

The laser works fine, but it appears that nobody really noticed. Lame. Or good, depending on what exactly you want to try next.

-Weak Laser
-Biogenerator
-Technological Assembly Table
-Research Lab
-Basic Ion Shielding

-Gross Milkbeast (Unmodified)

[NRDL]

Try upgrading the laser, make it stronger. Having a better all purpose energy weapon can only be a good thing.

[RoseHeart]

Try upgrading the laser, make it stronger. Having a better all purpose energy weapon can only be a good thing.

+1 I still want a pachyderm...lets mix it with the first one.

[Doubloon-Seven]

The laser worked, sure, but did it work enough? You don't think so.

Ey, Niner. See if you can get the laser working to a higher standard.

2d6 -> 4+5=9

Done and done. Made sure that everything's working in there, and put in some better lenses, too. Should make it more accurate.

You also go over to find a bigger quadriform animal. Not exactly for any particular reason, but just because it looks like a cool animal. This one has a nose tentacle!

78

As your technicians rush out with shock prods and nets, a nearby group of the planet's dominant species gawp at you from within some kind of poorly-camouflaged motor vehicle. The grey beast struggles to fit through the cargo door of your ship, but enters nonetheless. Attempts to inject it with mandatory disease vaccinations go poorly, given that the animal somehow has skin so tough that your air-jet injection 'hypospray' is unable to pierce it.

-Medium Focused Laser
-Biogenerator
-Technological Assembly Table
-Research Lab
-Basic Ion Shielding

-Gross Milkbeast (Unmodified)
-Weird Nosetentacled Greyhulk (Unmodified, Unimmunized)

[NRDL]

Yeah, let's upgrade our surgical equipment and bio modification facilities. Get this pachyderm vaccinated ASAP.

[KitRougard]

...Hm, hypospray? For a quick fix, try, Hm, stuffing it up its nose? We should work on a cloaking device, or at least something that makes images of our ships into blurry blobs in the sky. It's always funny having primitives running about like they saw us, but no one believes their shoddy proof.

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Let's make the pachyderm eat meat. Then feed it the milk thing.

[Funk]

Yeah, let's upgrade our surgical equipment and bio modification facilities. Get this pachyderm vaccinated ASAP.

+1

[Superdorf]

Let's make the pachyderm eat meat. Then feed it the milk thing.

Yes. +1

[Taberone]

Let's make the pachyderm eat meat. Then feed it the milk thing.

[King Zultan]

Yeah, let's upgrade our surgical equipment and bio modification facilities. Get this pachyderm vaccinated ASAP.

+1

+1