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No, just passing by.

[Quaksna]

I will. This thread was read over 500 times. That's like... Wow. Do you have some favourite character at the moment? It's been only three episodes, but still... I am curious. 

[The_Saladman]

Do you have some favourite character at the moment? It's been only three episodes, but still... I am curious. 

Alak, he sorta reminds me of my mentality when writing Beerdump.

[Quaksna]

The fourth part is here! Parted in two posts.

Alak was angry once again. But no wonder, the others were angry just as him. "Let's just face the facts. You brought us to a desert??!!"

"I'm tellin' you, it's a shortcut." Olmul answered. "It always have been."

Vúsh was angry no less than the others. "Nothing would happen if you haven't disturbed Midor of Nodobok!"
"It's just bad." Urnût stated. "Toad or not. Worst for Unnos and Razes, they just don't deserve it. And they're not milkable now!"
Ermis, especially mad, who couldn't cook a good meal for too long, said: "How are we supposed to get food here? Were quickly losing our supplies. You need only one Urist McDumbDwarf for deserts becoming shortcuts. What happens next..."

Alak tried to solve this bad situation with authority. "Olmul, if you don't get us out in time, I'll make you a hauler for rest of your life!"
Olmul asked: "Why are you so mad, dwarves? Everything is just fine, perfectly planned."

Berath, again scouting the area, shouted: "Hey, I see something!"
"What sort of something?" asked Alak.

"Some serpent, black with stripes, pretty big one."

Kin was muttering: "Beer... Need more beer!!!" He was not only mad at Olmul, he started to be just mad.
Urnût tried to cheer him up. "It'll be fine, Kin. We'll get some beer. Once leave this... This..."
"Dimshascuggán it's called." said Olmul. "That's weird, isn't it? This is a rock desert..."

Ermis : "Kin, you're sitting there for too long. It's my turn now!"
Kin shouted: "Beer!!!"
Alak said: "Are you kidding me? Kin is not far away from tantrum, and only thing you care about is the cheese spot! Berath, what is the big black serpent doing?"

"Coming towards us." replied Berath.
Alaks eyes turned red, and his eyelids started hopping up and down. "Olmul, this is too much! Do we have spare food?"
Ermis shakes head.

Vúsh stopped being angry when she saw it, she started joyfully hopping like Alaks eyelids and said: "It had recognized us as dwarves of Orngimkenim. That means we should Ïlunmatul."
Urnût facepalmed.
Alak, with slightly less red eyes, asked: "What's up again?"
Urnût said: "She tries to say, according to tradition, we should perform a dance in front of it."
Alak stopped being mad and started to think. "Whatever, if it works! Olmul, prepare the weapons!"

Berath shouted: "Wait, it's going away!"
Kin, desperate, whispered: "Beer?"
"Not beer, bad snake guy, Kin." said Olmul. "Hold on a little longer."

Urnût was wondering: "But why so suddenly..."

Ermis turned back, and saw a big, bright strange figure.
"Oh, what's that?"

A humanoid with golden-scales tail instead of legs and a gold spiral horn. Now you will know why to... Whatever. Beware his... Vicious horn?

[Quaksna]

"Dwarves? Greetings, dwarves." the strange being said. He didn't look like an enemy.
Alak asked him: "Who are you? Some kind of desert titan or..."

"Hmmm... Depends. Let's say, for goblins I am "deity" of wealth. Ongongera's the name."

Berath said: "You know goblin language, Olmul. Translate!"
"His name means Limulsheget." said Olmul.
"What are you doing in the desert?" asked the being.

Everyone looked at Olmul. He calmly said: "Passing through. What is "deity" of wealth doing in desert?"

"You know, that's the problem. The others threw me out of our realm." answered Limulsheget.
"Other "deities"?" asked Alak. "Why?"

"Didn't like my golden nails."
"An argument?"Berath asked.

"You know what would be good, dwarves?" said Limulsheget with a grin. "You could do me a solid. I could send you to this realm and you will speak to them. Maybe they'll take me back?"
"Wait, wait. You just want us to send to other realm? Isn't it a trap?" asked Alak doubtfully.
"Beer?" Kin wasn't much better.
"Yeah, and what will we get in return?" asked Ermis.

Limulsheget was thinking for a moment. "I understand. Well, I can give you something in return. What do you need?"
"New cooking pot!"
Alak interrupted her. "No. We'll think about that."
"Fine. I'm waiting."
The dwarves surely didn't want any more problems, yet this was an interesting offer.
Urnût : "I don't think he lies. We should help him."
Vúsh : "He truly looks like a Mishar. I do admire Mishar."
Olmul : "C'mon guys, we can visit other realm! That's fascinating!"
Ermis : "It's worth the cooking pot."
Unnos : "Moooo!"
Berath : "Olmul is right. We can get out of this place, at least for while."
Kin : "Beer! Must have beer!"

Alak : "Aaah, okay! Limul, we're ready. How does it work?"
"Finally. It works like this: I can't enter the realm myself, I am kind of grounded. But I can send three of you there. You must only find that bunch of weird colorful goblins."
Alak sadly said: "I see. I didn't want to do it, but if I don't, this other bunch of weird dwarves will trigger a loyalty cascade."

"Which three of you should I send there?"

And that's upon you to decide, readers. 

[methylatedspirit]

Trying to cross the desert as a shortcut without having enough food? Reminds me of the Donner Party.

[Quaksna]

And poll is here! Vote, and change destiny of our heroes!

[mightymushroom]

I voted Alak as the leader, Olmul as someone who speaks goblin, and Razes (actually, whichever is closer to be accidentally swept up) for the lulz mooz.

[Quaksna]

Great! I gave five days to the end, so I'll have some time to prepare the gobbo realm. Fun has just started!

[Quaksna]

Hmmm... Just four users voted, but it's enough to decide. Yet there are still few days to change that! 
One does not easily prepare the goblin "deities" realm. Seriously guys, that goblin language is awful! And when you invent a "deity" name with lots of titles and ephitets... I am glad I already finished the names. 

[Quaksna]

Ack! The fifth voter gave balance to the poll, but we don't want that! For many are invited, but few are chosen!
On the other hand, I like how every player thinks about it differently and likes different characters. Maybe five days were too much. Or I am just bored. 
Good work, brothers overseers! Let's show Olmul and all freethinkers who's boss 'ere. Hehehe...

700 views! Wooohooo! The more the better!

[Quaksna]

Pictures were taken, speeches were written. New episode tomorrow. I hope. Thanks for voting!

[Quaksna]

The nail of Q'uaksnas thumb is fractured! Q'uaksnas thumb loses hold of Tarmid Ugokkirun. Q'uaksnas thumb gives in to pain!
But Q'uaksna does not surrender so easily...

Alak said "I'll go." Alak strikes a triumphant pose.
He turned and said: "Ermis, you're going too. Maybe we'll get some food..."
Ermis asked: "And the third one? What about Urnût?"
"Urnût's fine, but that's why he must stay and keep eye on the rest."
Urnût bowed. "As you wish."
Alak looked at the party. "The last one shall be..."

"Me." said Olmul.
"Nah. Razes." said Alak.
"What?"
"An Udril?" asked Vúsh. "Interesting choice."
Alak said: "I think Razes is superior to you in many aspects. Besides, Unnos can't pull the wagon herself. So revolts are pointless."
Urnût was worried. "But you have to bring some food with you from the realm. Because if we have to wait in the desert, our supplies will be depleted like... Really quickly."
"Why are you so bad about deserts?" Olmul said. "There's plenty of food!"

"Anyway, we're ready Limul." said Alak. "You can send us.  You can help Urnût handle the weird ones, in meantime."
Limulsheget said: "You can count on me. But... There's a little catch you know."
"Little catch is everywhere." Alak smiled. "What kind of catch?"
"I can't send you back."
Everyone was silent.
"You'll have to find way back yourselves, so... Good luck."

Limul muttered a spell. Then came a bright flash of light and in matter ot seconds, Alak, Ermis and Razes found themselves falling in some fiery pit, with tremendous heat everywhere.

Alak yelled: "Gah, what's meaning of this?"
"You think I know?" shouted Ermis back.
"Moooooooooo!!!"
"Zodostshokmut!" Alak shouted. "Was this part of the deal? Falling in some Othob pit!"

Winged Moster screeched.

"Whoa, what was that?" yelled Ermis.
"Undulating rock salt boulder with wing? There's more of them!"
Ermis shouted: "Hey, I see the bottom! Some eerie glow's in this place!"
"Moooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

[Quaksna]

Alak opened eyes.
"Wha... What happened?"

"Looks like we're here!" Ermis said.
Moos of Razes sounded comfortable. No wonder, the weird purple grass tasted much better than dust of the desert. The whole area was otherworldly. Grass was purple, stones were colorful and it seemed they're standing on some kind of island, floating in the air. Fiery figures were standing over the place and watching, like if they were on guard. Few steps further was structure, like some kind of mini-forum with two pillars.. In the middle of it was a table, and another figures around.

"Alak, something is wrong with this statue."
"I see. Not really goblin-ish."

They went to the pillar-circle.
"Now this table looks perfectly goblin-ish!" said Alak.
Five goblins stood behind the table.
"Come closer!" the fiery one said in dwarven.
"They're colorful. And weird!" whispered Ermis.
"Just as we need. Let's go!" replied Alak.

"Welcome... Dwarves. We..." started the fiery one, but was quickly interrupted by the one in brown coat.
"How by all spells and incantations you've gotten into our realm. Speak!!!"
"Isn't it clear?" said the one in black coat. "That gilded guy's really desperate. He sent dwarves and an animal? Seriously?"
"I am Alak Zilirdural. This is Ermis Anurím and Razes. We would like to know who are we speaking to."
"As you wish. We'll introduce ourselves." said the fiery one.

"I am Uxzoustug Zedanzozlo, the Urtormuk, the Sasneuzod. My spheres are fire, sun, victory. I am boss here, for my deeds are heroic and no other can oppose me."
Some of the others chuckled.
The one in black coat said: "I am Zomus Anuzosla, the Ustroakon, the Ogurxusmzûk, master of night and darkness. This pale warrior is Ngoruboxox Snuzoos, the Stuzroz, the Stûmöstöl, harbinger of death. He doesn't speak very often."
The one in the blue cape said : "I am called Ongnguutgub Snukoukkar, the Zutulxor, for my sphere is beauty. No wonder I am fairest of them all."

The last one, in the brown coat said: "And I am Oströtakåtôz Ukustmôklo. My power are diseases and blight. I am one of the less popular ones. But that will change!"
Alak said: "Okay then, great goblin lords. We're here as messengers of Ong... Ongon... Limulsheget. He sends you a request, for permission that he can take his place here again."
"Request denied."

"Wha...? Why?" Ermis asked. "I mean, he is kinda nice guy!"
Oströtakåtôz said: "That might be the problem, eh?"
"You see?" said Ongnguutgub. "We really shouldn't had thrown him out. Now he'll keep sending here mortals forever."
"Maybe it's finally time to banish him!" Zomus said.
"Yeah, Zutulxor just liked him for his dazzling shine. But he was a jerk. Does not belong here." said Oströtakåtôz.
"I think Ongongera's not coming back, at least for the time being. We have other work to do." said the fire lord.
"I see." said Alak. "Let me then ask some questions, okay?"
"Request denied."
"We got here by falling into some weird pit stuffed with weird beings?"
"Foolish mortals." said Uxzoustu. "That was deep in your realm, where wicked ones are trapped. Âse... We have fought against them many times, and we drove them there, so they cannot harm your realm again."
"That's all you need to know." said Zomus.

[Quaksna]

"Hey, that cloth with wisps on it. That's pretty cool!" Ermis called.
"Yeah." said Ongngnuutgub. "Fairest of them all, after me. We write everything on them, for the sake of admirers."
"Wisps are great." started Oströtakåtôz. "But this guy drives me mad."
"Don't mind him, he's envious."
"Your hair's awful."
"I must insist."
"Moooooooooooooooooo!"

"See?" said Oströtakåtôz. "It agrees with me."
"A mortal won't insult me!!!" shouted Ongngnuutgub.
"Emo goblin won't insult my friend Razes!!!" shouted Alak back.
"Enough!!!" said the fiery lord. "Mortals, you brought too much conflict here. You shall be punished!!!"
"Moooooo!!!"
"Come here and say it again!!!" Zomus shouted.
Ermis whispered to Alak: "Seems we should leave immediately!"
"You won't." said Zomus. "Ngoruboxox, bring Aspdosusmat!"

The pale goblin vanished for a moment, and re-appeared with giant creature.

A towering wolf. It's fur is pale and dense. It has three tails. It's fur is unkempt. Beware its insatiable hunger.

"How dare you command them? I am boss here!" said Uxzoustu.
"Are you sure?" laughed Zomus.
"Aslezslagka, banish him out of my domain!"

Fiery figures ran towards Zomust. He muttered a spell.
Everything turned dark.
Zomus Anuzosla, the Ustroakon, the Ogurxusmzûk has transformed!

Now you will know why you fear the night.

"A fight! Now it's perfect time to escape!!!" whispered Alak, and the party ran away.

But the wolf pursued them. Yet for the darkness and blindfold wrapped around his head, he was confused.

Alak suddenly stopped and shouted: "Hey, that's one of those cool otherworldly swords!"
"Ack! It's hot!"

He covered his hand in some cloth, and picked the sword up.
"Have you finished? The wolf got the track!!!" yelled Ermis.
"We can't escape such a beast!" said Alak and looked around.

There was some big bird standing nearby, like some above-ground jabberer. It was watching the dwarves, calmly and carefully. It didn't mind the battle around, it didn't care one way or other.
"We don't know where to go, but I have a plan! Razes, come here!
"You don't want to escape on a giant gobbo goose?"
"Sure I want!"
The bird was not moving, he kept watching them with his phlegmatic eyes.

When he saw the wolf, he started running.
"Hold on!!!" shouted Alak!

Razes tried to scare the beast off with haunting moos, without success.
They were getting closer and closer to the edge of the flying island.

"Moooooooooooooooooo!!!"
"Razes!!!" shouted both dwarves and jumped from the back of the bird, down to the depths. They were falling. And falling...

[mightymushroom]

Oh no!

Flap your arms really hard! Wish for a soft landing! Mooo the most heartfelt plea for rescue!