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[QuQuasar]

Some information on the Founders of Cheesesplatter:

All dwarves of the North Syrup have black hair. Skin colour varies wildly from pale pink to brown.

Auze, "Scholar Auze". 79 year old woman. Incredibly tough and very strong, probably thanks to being a blacksmith. Doesn't get jokes and is very rude, but at least she's humble. Has a taste for sea food, particularly common skate, a critically endangered ray.

Spoiler: Auze (click to show/hide)

Blackchibisan, "Recruit". A young 52 year old man. He's stingy, very weak and a compulsive coward, so we drafted him into soldier duty. Face your fears and all that. In hindsight, perhaps that wasn't the best idea. Also, he likes eating narwhals, the sick fuck.

Spoiler: Blackchibisan (click to show/hide)

Gchristopher, "Fisherdwarf" (actually a cook, just hasn't accepted it yet). An 87 year old man with very long hair, beard, mustache and sideburns. Thinks he's worthless (I suppose that's not surprising, given he introduces himself as a fisherdwarf), but is otherwise confident, happy and optimistic. Really nice guy. Wants to eat river otters, because of course he does.

Spoiler: Gchristopher (click to show/hide)

Immortal-D, "Herbalist". 88 year old woman. Very weak, with long hair in a double braid. Happy, nervous, and with a strong sense of duty. Likes to eat giant echidna. You people are monsters.

Spoiler: Immortal-D (click to show/hide)

Lordy, "Broker", 77 year old woman with short, neatly combed hair. Prone to strong feelings of lust while presenting herself modestly and frowning on other peoples flashy accoutrements. Generally speaking a humble, orderly person. She prefers to consume black bullhead (fish) and various plant products, so she's basically a vegan by this places standards.

Spoiler: Lordy (click to show/hide)

Quasar, "Head Cook", 58 year old woman with long, wavy, double-braided hair. Very weak and quick to tire, but confident under pressure in spite of this, though she often spends more effort than necessary. Slightly bashful, which I assume is why she hides her personality under the gimmicky clinical tone. Prefers to drink tuber beer.

Spoiler: Quasar (click to show/hide)

Sanctume, "Militia Commander". 70 year old man with a round face and long hair. Is utterly closed-minded, incredibly brave, and has no time for forgiveness, preferring retribution instead. Give that man a spear! Also, he finds martial training distasteful, but who cares, everyone hates their job sooner or later. Prefers to consume... oh god... he prefers to consume... Giant Leech. [gagging noises]

Spoiler: Sanctume (click to show/hide)

Splint, "Miner". A 74 year old woman with a prominent chin, also with long hair tied up in double braids. I'm starting to think the double braids are a cultural thing. She is mighty, but utterly lacks both stamina and courage. Has a sweet tooth, preferring honey, pears and guava wine.

Splint is married to Zuglarkun, and Unib, the two year old who took on the Mandrill Man, is her son.

Spoiler: Splint (click to show/hide)

SQman, "Planter". A 58 year old man. No sideburns, but neatly combed very long hair, and his beard and mustache are... yeah, it's double braids again. Double braids are definitely in fashion in the North Syrup. Has a scar on his arm where the mandrill man got him. Likes fistfights and prefers to consume Giant Tick. I need to go throw up now.

Spoiler: SQman (click to show/hide)

Superdorf, "Glassmaker". An 81 year old woman. Long hair, double braids, you know the drill. Isn't bothered by differences and feels best when everybody around her gets along, but is in person highly unfriendly and disagreeable. Superdorf recently created a useless bauble "great work of art", and as such is super happy with herself. Likes to eat Giant Walrus. You suck. You all suck. Couldn't even be satisfied eating normal walruses, no, they had to be special walruses. WOULD YOU LIKE DEVILS HOLE PUPFISH CAVIAR WITH YOUR GIANT WALRUS, MA'AM?

Spoiler: Superdorf (click to show/hide)

Zuglarkun, "Armorer". A 60 year old man, bald with extensive, double-braided facial hair and a broad chin. Very quick to anger and doesn't much care what others think of him. Husband of 'Splint', Father of Unib. Likes to eat durians, because of course one of you fuckers had to pick the most disgusting fruit in the world.

Spoiler: Zuglarkun (click to show/hide)

I'm done. Apart from Splint and Lordy, you all either prefer to consume absolutely disgusting stuff or the most endangered species on the planet. You should all be ashamed. You monsters.

[methylatedspirit]

What did you just say about durians, the best-tasting fruit ever?!
In all honesty, I think I've just adapted to the smell.

[Splint]

"Doesn't handle stress well."

Boy is it a good thing I'm married then, otherwise a cup shortage or a rainy season would drive me to murder. Might be worth it to put everyone with that stat (or worse) in an auxiliary training corps for the need fulfillment, and be a tad more involved with thier quarters to combat their garbage stress resistance.

For Zuglarkun and myself, I'd recommend some  stuff to display earrings and a buckler on, and if it can be spared, some steel furniture (since both of us like Steel, it kills two birds with one stone on preferred material buffs.) Plenty of alone time together will help too. I swear that last one will in no way lead to us peopling the earth with more little Splints and Zuglarkuns and will just keep them sane. Honest.

And maybe get some black bronze furniture for our Head of Culinary Science and silver stuff for the other smith?

But take any recommendations I make with a grain of salt OVerseer. I dig holes, I don't manage dwarven psyches.

[SQman]

Throwing shade at the noble profession of a fisherman? Mussels don't collect themselves, you know; brave fishermen risk getting caught in ambushes or torn apart by werebeasts for the precious mollusks and their shells.

How do we calculate sold food and drinks again? Through the stocks screen like in Breadbowl, or with the value-based method like in Breakfastpit? Some other way?

[QuQuasar]

Boy is it a good thing I'm married then, otherwise a cup shortage or a rainy season would drive me to murder. Might be worth it to put everyone with that stat (or worse) in an auxiliary training corps for the need fulfillment, and be a tad more involved with thier quarters to combat their garbage stress resistance.

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

Throwing shade at the noble profession of a fisherman? Mussels don't collect themselves, you know; brave fishermen risk getting caught in ambushes or torn apart by werebeasts for the precious mollusks and their shells.

Fair enough, if they get torn apart by werebeasts they're at least useful as an early warning system. I'll upgrade them from "useless" to "par with chickens".

How do we calculate sold food and drinks again? Through the stocks screen like in Breadbowl, or with the value-based method like in Breakfastpit? Some other way?

The value based method is easier on the overseer and is fine for an estimate, which is why I'm leaning towards it.

[Splint]

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or you're being serious, so I'll withhold a more involved response in case it's the former.

[QuQuasar]

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or you're being serious, so I'll withhold a more involved response in case it's the former.

I'm kidding, I always make a candy hammer for the hammerer. A fortress has to be really going down the toilet before "natural selection" becomes a viable strategy. (See also, Breakfastpit)

[Splint]

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or you're being serious, so I'll withhold a more involved response in case it's the former.

I'm kidding, I always make a candy hammer for the hammerer. A fortress has to be really going down the toilet before "natural selection" becomes a viable strategy. (See also, Breakfastpit)

Good, cause the intro doesn't really indicate we have the thousands of spare dirt farmers needed for executions and exiles to be viable strategies. 

Spoiler: The actual, more involved response, in case you're curious. if not, feel free to disregard. Also gonna shill a bit. (click to show/hide)

Boy is it a good thing I'm married then, otherwise a cup shortage or a rainy season would drive me to murder. Might be worth it to put everyone with that stat (or worse) in an auxiliary training corps for the need fulfillment, and be a tad more involved with thier quarters to combat their garbage stress resistance.

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

Or the lazy, operationally detrimental route with a far smaller pool of replacements to draw on, that's also an option, yes. But it doesn't fix that others can also dip into that unpleasant stress resistance due to say, handling a miner's hammered-in-skulled corpse. Much better to traumatize other workers than to just give everyone nice things as the means become available over time to mitigate the stress of living/working in an overland environment.

But then, I dig holes. I'm not in a position of authority.


In all seriousness, this isn't a situation where dwarves can be treated as expendable. There's simply not enough of them to go around. If casualties are bad enough, the only replacements will be drawing from bards who wander in, and they'll be worse than useless for two years, or if lucky, from the proc-genned caravan staff who likewise may be just as worthless on a stress resistance standpoint. And I really wasn't exaggerating about that. I've had units flip their shit because there wasn't a bed for them as soon as they arrived, there wasn't enough cups to go around (because this incident happened in early summer of the first year,) and had to regularly go out in the rain to haul things. 

I know we all have different ways of managing stress, and I know nobody here is an idiot - some people ignore it (which in situations where a civ has thousands of expendable dolts cluttering up the place is fine and dandy,) some expel problem dwarves (which might not be viable in some situations if say, they're married to a useful dwarf such as a decent smith or mechanic. Or are themselves an otherwise useful dwarf such as a valued soldier or cook.)

So rather than going for the "Kill/expel the problem dwarves" approach in a situation where each dwarf is more useful in-house and alive, especially since a war being on means we'll all be plenty traumatized picking up the inevitable messes Taupe and the other militiadwarves will make, why not actually try to be... Somewhat benevolent?

Yes, it's more involved, but it's a better long term solution than killing everyone who doesn't have smiles painted on their soul with DFhack in this situation. I only make this argument as someone who unknowingly put an absolute trainwreck of a dwarf in a captainship to lead dwarves into battle, and it took months of micromanaging to bring him and a few others out of severe depression and threat of insanity (as I can't afford to expel well trained soldiers in a fort literally devoted to being at war.)

And because I can and it came up, I'm gonna shill a bit in this spoiler. Go check out Battlejudge if you want to take part in things or help determine how things should go. I'm always happy to get any kind of input, and I"m working on an update for it.

Ahem. back into character. Which shall always be marked by the statement that I dig holes, because that's what my dwarf will most likely do until a bear or something tears her head off.


"I would like to submit a formal petition to the Overseer, whoever it may be at the time of posting this on the dining hall door, for the formation of a civilian auxiliary corp, to train at whatever times are best expedient. The threat of war looms heavily in the area, based on information given to use prior to departing from the deep holds. I doubt these leafy aberrations or the alien swallows flitting about have kept our location a secret from our would-be tormentors.

Not only will martial training allow the citizenry to assist in the defense of the fortress more easily, but it will also permit us to better defend ourselves from local wildlife, or from the savages such as the mandrill tribesmen that blight the land here not unlike the common crundle or troglodyte. But it will also improve the moods of many, as dwarven psyche often has a need to quarrel and fight, and this training would undoubtedly sate that quirk of our own minds."

- Splint, Professional Hole Digger.

[auzewasright]

Alternative solution: silver warhammer for the hammerer. Natural selection takes care of the rest.

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or you're being serious, so I'll withhold a more involved response in case it's the former.

I'm kidding, I always make a candy hammer for the hammerer. A fortress has to be really going down the toilet before "natural selection" becomes a viable strategy. (See also, Breakfastpit)

Breadbowl hit that point near the end (post NCommander), didn't it?
*looks*
Yep, Murky singlehandedly purged a good portion of the fort.

[Sanctume]

Acknowledge.

Download complete.

Package received. 

Decryption: Success.

Loading...


Scanning...

Threat Assessment: Secure.

Roster Assessment: Report Pending.

Theater Condition: Rain.

(REDACTED): (REDACTED).

Progress: 25%.

Progress report to follow.

"... Cheese Slice.  We may have dug too deep.  Repeat, too deep, Commander!"

End transmission.

[Zuglarkun]

Coming from a region of the world where we get durians almost year round, it is quite a delicacy I assure you if you pick the right ones with firm golden yellow flesh. We gargle with salt water after eating to get rid of the smell from your breath.

Though I don't know why you'll pick that as disgusting over something like "he prefers to consume honey bee". The actual BEE, not the honey nor the mead. Dwarves don't even cultivate bees for consumption, where did my dwarf get this weird food fetish from? I'd imagine my dwarf is like some sort of dwarf Candyman.

If there are honeybee hives on the map, I demand to be made into a beekeeper. 

Apparently, a quick google search has bee larvae tasting like bacon and fried baby bees tasting like smoked fish or oysters. Huh. The more you know...

[methylatedspirit]

Coming from a region of the world where we get durians almost year round

Huh. Where I come from, durians are seasonal; their availability and price vary throughout the year. I wasn't aware that a plant that is seasonal here could bear fruit all the time somewhere else.

[Zuglarkun]

Huh. Where I come from, durians are seasonal; their availability and price vary throughout the year. I wasn't aware that a plant that is seasonal here could bear fruit all the time somewhere else.

Doh. *Facepalm* You are indeed correct. Pardon my ignorance I'm gonna go munch on some bees.

[pikachu17]

I think I'd like a turn.

[Immortal-D]

Wow, 6 turns already.  Ok, put me down next in line.