Name: GLOBOR THE GLOB
Appearance: A clockwork guy with a hat made of space dust
Sphere: Clockworks
Mana: 26
Use the gold to make a suit of clockwork armor, feed the machine some mana and then go along with the clockwork men in search of smart life to grind down into mana for some extra measly units of power.
[2]
Globor's attempt to make armor returns only a sort of messy lump of hammered gold. Oh well.
[2]
A search of the surrounding areas reveals no intelligent life; not even a freaking mermaid or two to put into the meat grinder.
How much mana you feeding into it?
Name: Pruina
Appearance: A fair-skinned female in a cyan robe, constantly surrounded by the glitter of the snow and ice crystals that orbit her, unmelting.
Sphere: Ice
Mana: 39
Notes: Holds a tome that grants the powers of Blood and Viscera to its wielder.
Pruina takes the Magical Laser Cannon Thing (henceforth MLCT) and investigates it thoroughly, probing it with magic if necessary.
[1]
Pruina looks at the MLCT and then, after careful consideration, slaps it.
The MLCT Fires a beam of concentrated fire infused mana particles that utterly annihilates and reduces to ash everything on its path until it strikes a distant mountain and blows a giant crater into it.
Name: Duhuin
Appearance: A small dragon made of fruits
Sphere: Food
Mana: 79. (+1 mana a turn)
Duhuin the sorrowful will prepare an "I am sorry" banquet for the village in 019.029 with the intention of regaining their friendship. He will use 29 mana for the creating of this banquet.
tower at 020.030 (Garden of Babylon encompassing the entire hex in carefully tended mazes of organized nature.)
019.029 Small village of food elementals (hunting trees)(Not Friendly Anymore)
19,30 contains a small marble shrine with a crushed sundial.
020,031 Jungle, Nothing
[6][-29 mana]
Duhuin, from a distance, summons up a literal stormcloud of food above the food elemental's village. Now, it does definitely result in a great quantity of very good food being delivered to them. Some of it is delivered in very large portions at very high speeds but...well...maybe they won't mind? They are food after all.
Wait...is raining food on food people like causing a rain of severed body parts on humans? Hmm.
Name: Sid
Appearance: Old fisherman
Sphere: Water and Corpses (Skull of Cybernecromancy)
Mana: 54
Note: Spiky purple hair water-flesh skeleton lady-friend. Speaks Japanese with Spanish subs.
"Oh dear. This could be bad. Unless it's a lie to get me to eat the candy. Hmm..."
Resurrect the Rare Candy and ask it if I should eat it to cure the poison. I see no problems with this course of action.
[-12 mana][2]
Despite all the mana you pump into the thing, it remains stubbornly dead.
Ungrateful sugar slut.
[Name: Drycst
Appearance: A guy wearing a long black cloak that conveniently completely obscures all bodily features.
Sphere: Earth
Mana: Unlimited
See, the issue is that your tower fell into it which should destroy it. However, if you want to do a roll to try to shift your tower after you got out last turn, I'd be willing to let you try that retroactively.
Sure, I'll do that.
[4] Good enough.
You and your tower are retconned to a mountain nearby. Your mana is now at 26 after escaping the vortex and moving the tower.
Plagueis
Appearence : dude in green rotting robes
Sphere : disease
Mana : 43
Spend 43 mana on gifting zombie plague to closest big city
Nearest known settlement is....Feral Frost Giant Tigers.
[-37 mana][6]
You gift not just a zombie plague, but a mega-enhancement zombie plague that turns its victims not only into undead but makes them intelligent, homicidal, physically enhanced, and very durable. And you have applied this to already giant and dangerous critters.
[+5 mana per turn]
Explore the sinkhole if it ends up to be a boring hole we'll dig our way out.
Name: Dr. Bob Mk II
Appearance: A humanoid with the head of a deer that wears a lab coat.
Sphere: Chemistry
Mana: 78
Follower: "Dumbo the Super Elephant" the elephant man
Stuff:
about a pound of gunpowder
elephant gun
Tower: 062.007
You get a sudden feeling that your wizard tower is about to be under siege by zombie giant tiger men.
[1]
Sadly you are trapped in a hole! THERE IS NOTHING OF INTEREST IN THIS HOLE EITHER! ITS JUST A HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!
Name: Anise Cyminum
Appearance: A slim young man with an albinic complexion. His well-groomed hair and neat attire bespeak a vanity and pride worthy of one born with such power.
Sphere: Death
Mana: 36
Notes: Tower at 5,5
Massive fish, frozen, at 5,6
Giant MurderHorse Statue at 5,4
... Okay. Deep breaths now, don't panic. You're a mighty wizard with power beyond mortal comprehension, and it's a horse. No contest.
Reach into whatever drives this instrument of death, and bend it to my will.
[-7 mana][2]
You close your eyes and attempt to take control of the horse.
You open them again and the horse is closer than before and seems to be steaming.
aaaaaaaaa
Name: Arsholl
Appearance: Shortish anime human with very long green hair which forms giant curls.
Sphere: EXSUPLOSIONS!
Mana: 46
I'm disappointed in you. Is that really the best you can do? I seem to remember ones to be a lot more interesting. I mean, nothing bad even happened. I just yelled b-tier sexual innuendos at the whole while nobody's even watching. One, I was already doing that in my post, two, it's all completely true and not something I'd consider embarrassing, three, nothing happened. You just wasted my time.
Sail along the coast.
Don't roll as bad next time then~
So along the coast, between 42,19 and 40, 25, the following areas look interesting
40,22 =You see what looks like a graveyard of giant statues submerged here
40,23= There are odd geometric crystals embedded in the coastline cliff
42,23= A natural harbor that appears to have ruins from an ancient food civilization
41,24 = A massive cliff leads from the sea up to the mountains and there are what look like carved hollows in the cliff; maybe bird nests?
Check again to see if there are any tyrannosaurs on my island. If not, use my powers to summon a few.
Name:Marl
Appearance:A bearded human in a green hooded cloak carrying a staff. Accompanied by a juvenile Allosaurus named George and a tame pterosaur.
Sphere:Dinosaurs.
Mana:54
[-32 mana][1]*
Marl summons up not a T-rex but something worse. It appears to be a sauropod of utterly massive scare; but unlike every sauropod that Marl knows of, this one appears to be carnivorous. And he can tell this because its long neck ends in a giant mouth of dagger like teeth which it is currently trying to fasten around his entire body.
Name: THE WIZARD EDUS
Appearance: A tall, plain looking man with blond hair and brown eyes. He wears giant robes with lots of pockets.
Sphere: Force
Mana: 43
"Force" this thing to work properly. Tell me what you do, arcane artifact!!!
[-10 mana][6]
Edus slams the thing with a blast of force and it shatters, unleashing a gout of flame that speeds out and strikes him right in the chest.
EDUS has gained the ability to manipulate the elemental force of Heat.
Enter my lair, lay down and die from misery.
[1]
....Apparently you can't.
Name: Atrimian
Mana: 51
Allies: Lesser Fleshbeast (1d8)
Sexclones: Locked Away
Hotel: Trivago
I sense a distant life fading away, one that still has potential... despite not having the best of luck. I'll psychically reach out to The Reborn.
Are you alright? I feel a crushing aura of despair... one that displeases me. Don't give up yet, whomever you may be.
On that matter, who are you? Certainly you're not, well, normal... are you?
[5] Atrimian reaches out to the Reborn and offers to help the poor creature out. He offers all kinds of tasty nervous systems and all kinds of evil conquest and the like.
"We'll harness your amazingly bad luck and use it as a weapon to conquer the world!"
At the last moment, create a mech-suit around the anime lady. It should be able to fly enough to save her from the fall.
Name: Henry
Sphere: Industry
Mana: 40
Current Location: 92,35
Discovered locations: Wrecked vessel at 94.33, fishing village at 96,30.
Assets: Prospecting team, wandering about prospecting.
[-9 mana][3] You can't manage a mech suit, but you can manage a parachute. The lady is saved, though she does fly rather awkwardly into a wall and then lands in a heap.
But you're pretty sure she's alive.
Her would be sacrificers look pretty taken aback.
Name: Bronan
Sphere: Biomancy
Mana: 59
"WELL. FOR ONE. YOU GUYS ARE DOING SLAVERY, WHICH ISNT COOL. ALSO, I KILLED YOUR GOD. THAT MEANS NOW IM YOUR GOD."
If that doesnt work magically enhance my fists and start punching my way out of there
[5]
The judge stares at you really hard for several long seconds as the formerly jeering crowd goes silent.
"....That checks out. ALL HAIL BRONAN!"
The crowd joins in the chant and you soon find yourself being carried out of the courthouse on their shoulders. Well...everything went better than expected!
https://i.imgur.com/qj0yTJc.jpg10 mana this turn! I'm sure the ravenous super undead won't be a problem down the line.
Author
Topic: ARCANE FUCKERY (Read 42974 times)