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Author Topic: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!  (Read 4753 times)

Kashyyk

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You radio the dropship pilot to relocate to the crashsite, so you can easily evac your wounded.

Whilst he's en-route you have your squad surround the UFO. Just like the interceptor reported, it is a cylindrical vessel, about fifteen meters long and four meters in diameter. The hull is scorched and scarred from the hit and resultant landing, especially around the hole near one end where a large amount of very complex looking circuitry and machinery is spewing out, presumably the impact point of the missile. The plating is very thin, perhaps two millimetres at most, and appears to have no seams of any kind.

The only break in the hull (other than the aforementioned missile hole) is an open panel about a meter in diameter. The pointman reports that the interior seems to consist entirely of a soft cushion surrounded by consoles. Whilst quite cramped for a human, a quick eyeball comparison against the dead Xray implies that the vessel is specifically designed for creatures of small stature.

Speaking of, you take the opportunity to investigate the alien you killed. The squad has dubbed it an Insectoid, due to the obvious parallels to insects found on Earth. It has a head, abdomen and thorax with three pairs of limbs, the front pair still clutching onto that orb. It is wearing some sort of tan coloured robe, and underneath is a layer of brown chitin, with greenish ichor slowly oozing from the bullet holes you put in it. It would have stood just over a meter tall.

With perfect narrative timing, the dropship arrives just as you conclude your inspection. The dead and wounded are loaded up along with one of the medics and as it dusts off you ensure the squad have secured the perimeter whilst you await the recovery team.

Just after dawn, a number of all terrain trucks are spotted approaching the crashsite, bearing SPAM-Com's insignia. As they stop and their crew disembarks, you recognise one of the lead engineers from back at the base. This must be the recovery team.

They take innumerable photographs of the vessel, before cracking out a large variety of power tools in order to dismantle the ship into portable chunks. Once the trucks are loaded with all the bits of UFO, the dead Xray and your squad, the convoy departs for a nearby airbase.



Congratulations! Commander Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu has personally lead the capture of the first UFO!

Sunday, 12th May. Noon.

When you return to your office, your assistant is waiting for you, bearing a large amount of paperwork. He seems to be stuck in a staring contest with your Lead Scientist, who presumably also wants to speak with you.

A) Speak with your Assistant
B) Find out what your Lead Scientist wants
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KitRougard

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #76 on: February 26, 2019, 07:37:30 pm »

Uggh, screw paperwork. Scientist! What do you require!
B
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Scream all you want
They don't understand
Your Comic Sans font
A language of another land

Dustan Hache

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #77 on: February 26, 2019, 07:37:58 pm »

B first, A second. what do we know, doc?
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

King Zultan

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #78 on: February 27, 2019, 07:15:43 am »

B
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Rockeater

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #79 on: February 27, 2019, 09:05:36 am »

Uggh, screw paperwork. Scientist! What do you require!
B
+1, maybe he would say something that get us to avoid paperwork all together.
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #80 on: February 27, 2019, 09:28:46 am »

You tell the Lead Scientist to follow you into your office and gesture to a chair. Once you've seated yourself, the Lead Scientist does likewise.

"Commander, thanks to your efforts in China, we finally have access to advanced technology beyond even the most speculative of predictions, and some of the finest minds with which to examine them. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that merely shooting your ways through all your problems is just a slow path to defeat. I've taken the liberty of drafting a number of research topics for you, based on what your team recoverd. I just need to know which one you wish for us to pursue."

You glance through the documents, your eye noting the colour code associated with each one. The reports themselves are rather dense, and the Lead Scientist will likely regurgitate a large amount of technobabble if you ask about them, so you'll just have to go with your gut on this.

A) Insectoid Corpse #----
B) Alien Electronics ###--
C) Alien Alloys ##---
D) Alien Artifact (Metallic Sphere) ###--
E) Alien Propulsion (Damaged) #####

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Screech9791

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #81 on: February 27, 2019, 09:39:17 am »

A is for Ayylmao autopsies, so let's inspect the insectoid corpse.
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it's over

Rockeater

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #82 on: February 27, 2019, 10:03:20 am »

C
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

Dustan Hache

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #83 on: February 27, 2019, 10:48:39 am »

A, so we can capture the next one alive.
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

ZBridges

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #84 on: February 27, 2019, 04:41:44 pm »

A
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a1s

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #85 on: February 27, 2019, 05:13:20 pm »

A, so we can capture the next one alive.
I'd have to agree.
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

King Zultan

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #86 on: February 28, 2019, 06:37:07 am »

A
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Pavellius

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #87 on: February 28, 2019, 11:20:06 am »

A
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #88 on: February 28, 2019, 09:15:16 pm »

A so we can capture the next one double dead!

Kashyyk

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Re: SPAM-Com - Cmdr Komi "Redshirt" Akashatsu. Mission Accomplished!
« Reply #89 on: March 02, 2019, 06:42:04 am »

You tell the Lead Scientist that his team should focus on studying the Insectoid corpse.

"Understood commander, I'll have the biohazard lab prepped. You should get our report soon."

Next, your Secretary enters, with a report from the Men in Black you sent to East Europe.

Quote
3

The farmers had ebough matching details that this is either a grand scheme between individuals from several countries, or they are telling the truth. Three general theme is the same, over the course of the same night, seven incidents occurred.

Each one involved reports of a triangle of spinning lights in the night sky, followed by anyone near the targeted pasture seeing a bright flash and then walking up several hours later. Each incident had differing types of cattle mutilation,  but they generally involved various organs being removed, before the subject is returned, most still alive. Whether the subject the survives the next few hours varies depending on what exactly was removed.

Unfortunately, whilst we know a lot about what they did, we don't know very much about how they did it, or why.

"On to other things, Commander," your secretary says. "I've reviewed our finances, and we have a minor surplus. We should have enough to increase the budget of one of departments, or we could save it for a rainy day. We also have the option of selling some of the alien artifacts we've recovered, if you feel we need an injection of funds. "

A) Let's talk about our budget first
B) Selling alien artifacts? Tell me more
C) I'm not interested in either right now
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