Return to the card game. Play an Omni-health insurance policy card.
Name: Edward Mortan
Physical Description: He's a bit scrawny and unshaven. Never opens his eyes more than halfway.
Background: Edward can replace a lightbulb without too much difficulty, and he watches a lot of youtube videos. Edward endeavours to do as little as possible in his life and so far has performed admirably.
Life: d2 (OMNITECH White Jumpsuit, disposable space suit, sensory deprivation suit, combined sensory deprivation/space helmet)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee (hammer)
Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d8
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d6
Status: The other Edward
Senses deprived!
Inventory:
OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
Disposable Spacesuit
Sensory deprivation suit
Combined sensory deprivation/space helmet.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
>FOF program, works on murderbots
Universal Communicator (broken)
Omni-eye
Omni-health insurance policy
Hammer (1d4 melee)
Laundry cart
Money: 1000 omni
Shut up!
>Grab some playing cards and play some Solitaire.
Don't talk about it! Don't think about it!
Edit- Play ‘Pot of Greed’ and draw three additional cards from my deck.
Then follow Yagyu's lead.
Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Physical Description:
Cyborg Combat Body
A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large ember green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.
Tall, Skinny, Pale, Gaunt. Almost bald even though he can’t be older than 30. Patchy and scruffy stubble that goes all the way down his neck. His eyes aren’t soulless per se, but they have unnaturally white irises, and are filled with a certain, determination.
Background:
Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.
Stuart. He was always an odd child. He wanted to be skilled at killing people even as a small child. His parents were very wealthy, and very overprotective of him. Instead of getting him karate lessons or into sports, they got him the most state-of-the-art simulation entertainment system money could buy. He got good at what he did. By the time he was 10, he was the number one Waifu Assassins Guild IX player in the world. However, once he got old enough, it was time to get a job. And since he’s literally good for nothing else, and he fancies himself a killer, he decided to join the Omni-tech security crew.
Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags
d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)
Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)
Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d6
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4
Status: Back to somewhat normal
Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell:Deactivated-Robot
Hearing:Deactivated-Robot
Taste:Deactivated-Robot
Touch:Germ Suit
Inventory:
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Brain Backup
Toot’s shock control
Tranquilizer syringe
Germ suit
Large Zip-ties
Cafeteria Gift card
Waifubot body (Loaned to Wil)
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw
Money:
-400 debt
135
I can hear it ! STOP STOP STOP
"I DECLARE THAT I HAVE WON THE CARD GAME!"
Drop kick the card table and go aid in any task that might require my engineer skills.
Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm
Sight: sensory deprivation helmet
Smell: sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing: sensory deprivation helmet
Taste: sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d6
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4
Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds, chemical burns in lungs
Inventory:
OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
High visibility flares x4
Mysterious remote control
Box of protein bars
First Aid kit (1)
2 Fire extinguishers (d6 use each)
Harpoon
Money: 0
Gotta know when to hold em AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KNOW WHEN TO FOLD EM
Yagyu was busily staring at the vault doors, thinking of a way to get past them when one of the many Ed's (where did these keep coming from all of a sudden?) sauntered up to him.
"Hmm, too small to work through, but maybe if we oiled up a gerb-"
"I swear, the cables hissed "It is in them. Waiting"."
"...Yes, yes that is cause for some concern."
"Hello Anya, glad to have you back in the land of the living. Now please hold for a moment while our team of highly qualified professionals gives you a once-over.
OI, what's-yer-face, Sam! You're a doctor right? Can you check if Anya here is a-ok real quick?"
Then he walked over to the card players and asked,
"Hey, uh, any of you know something about that occult crap? I'm not sure if Anya, erm, has something weird going on, so if any of you could have a talk with her to see what's up that'd be great."
Ok...ok looks like we're fi...did you say "Cards"?
YOU GUYS HAD ONE FUCKING RULE AND ITS DON'T TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMN CARD GAME!
KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EMYOU ASSHOLES HAVE DONE IT NOW!
KNOW WHEN TO FOLD EMI'M GONNA HAVE TO NARRATE ALL THIS WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT YOU KNOW WHAT OTHERWISE ITS GOING TO GET MORE POWERFUL EVERY TIME I MENTION IT!
KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAYI DON'T EVEN KNOW IF YOU CAN SHOOT THIS THING! ITS AN ABSTRACT THOUGHTFORM WITH THE POWER OF THE KENNY ROGER'S SONG "THE GAMBLER"!
KNOW WHEN TO RUNFUCKING HELL
The scattered component pieces of the...thing which shall not be named...rise off the ground in a greasy hurricane and compress inwards, pulled by an unseen force until they congeal together into a face. The face is that of Kenny Rogers, though in the flat and stylized form you might see on a....product from the "Bicycle" corperation. It hovers there for a moment before singing
"KNOW WHEN TO HOLD EM"
Burt, Sam, EEED, Ji and WIlfred suddenly jerk into a rock solid standing position and levitate into the air. They move together into a sort of fanned out position, laying one over another like a spread hand of...you know whats.