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[King Zultan]

"I'm gonna look for supplies to use if someone does something stupid, which given this groups history is bound to happen."
Stay away from the door and search the area for a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher.

Spoiler: Dead man walking (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm

Sight:  sensory deprivation helmet
Smell:  sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing:  sensory deprivation helmet
Taste:  sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit

Stats:
 Strength: d6
 Dexterity: d6
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d4
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d6
 Fate: d6

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d6
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d4
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
Money: 0

[syvarris]

"Fuck Derp, but fine, I'll go somewhere else.  That room looks good, and Derp-free.  If any of you try and enter without warning, I'm shooting you.  And I'll shoot even if you do warn me.  Don't enter.  Fuck Derp."

Go lock self inside one of the surgical rooms, make sure it's one that only has *one* entrance.  Or at least one where all the entrances are in view of one spot.  Then set the guardbot to... well, guard mode.  "Kill anything that enters."  While it's busy with that, continually chant "fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp" over the radio, for everyone to hear.  Constantly.

Also review the recorded footage from own guardbot body, comparing the various posters of people.  Is there any common theme that can be pieced together from the "unfit" posters?  Are all the posters mostly identical?  Or are they just random people?  Men and women, or just men?

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: He looks identical to Wil Wheaton.  That's because he's an identical clone of Wil Wheaton; he actually can't even shave, or even change his hair or anything, it always grows back to the default form within a day.  Scarrification might let Wilfred change his appearance, but he's not really up for that.
A rough skeleton of steel and pistons topped with an oversized camera head mounted on a stubby neck.  All supported on a pair of armored treads.  On either side of the steel frame torso is a pair of mounted miniguns.
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other four, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: d8 Armored Guardbot.  Treads damaged, one minigun arm detached.
Attack: Built-in Double Miniguns: d10 d8 (only one minigun...) (d12 built in ammo supply (d12 max))

Stats:
Str d10
Dex d4
Spd d4
End d12
Wil d6
Kno d6
Fte d4

Skills:

Mel d6
Gun d12
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d10
Med d4
Occ d4
Spc d4

Status: Possibly infected by metal-eating fungus.  Otherwise, awesome.

Inventory: (sitting on the rear tread of the guardbot body)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6) (Left at home)
OMNITECH Riot suit (d6 Life)  (Helmet destroyed)
OMNITECH (?) sensory deprivation suit (d? Life) (Helmet destroyed)
OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged Attack) and 10 magazines (d6 (loaded), d8*9, d4, d0*3 use die)
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton (d4)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Reasonable pair of Handcuffs
OMNITECH Metalstorm Machine Pistol (d6; but can be rolled as many times as the player wants until the use die runs out.) and 1 magazine (d6)
Headless corpse of Wil Wheaton.
Fungicide canister.

Toby's Military-grade laser (d6 ranged attack, chargable up to d20) with one depleted battery)

Cognition Copier (destroyed)

Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

Military-grade guardbot (Used as current body)

Money: -303, owed to loan shark.

Helpful (?) things done on mission:
Shot up some screens and a speaker in the server room.  And probably a bunch of other rooms.  He's kinda been shooting screens and speakers throughout the entire complex.
Killed a bunch of thralls who were assaulting teammates.
Maybe helped finish off the psychic that ambushed the team.
Reactivated Sector Q's power, then locked all the exits just before realizing Q's Hell Portal was left active, just without power.
Shot some of the demons that were released in sector Q.
Melted a giant statue of the company founder that was being telekinetically flung at the team, before it could even kill anyone!  Will leave out who the statue depicted when he reports this.
Accused Leslie of being a mind-controlled thrall and attempted to shoot her.  Then ordered her to save Gabe (he was choking on his own zip ties), which she did do.  This doesn't sound impressive, but considering that the only other security team member nearby at the time was hovering over Gabe waiting for him to die so she could loot his gear...
Found his way to the robotics & armament (?) sector's control room, where he remotely subverted a heavily armed guardbot to guard him.  And assist him with the mission, of course.  Reprogramming company property in order to save even more valuable company property shows forward thinking and positive initiative!
Successfully hacked open the ammo room for Yagyu and friends.
Hacked the endoskeleton robots to stop killing team members and instead escort the team out of the sector nonlethally.
Found the exit from the vantablack sector, in literally the first turn of trying to find an exit.
Blew up something in the flaming sector, probably an IED that was supposed to kill the entire team.  Totally.  So Wilfred actually reduced the damage caused by it, by blowing it up before it was a major risk!
Uh.  Got killed and then was installed into the guardbot.
"Accidentally" murdered two teammates by reprogramming his guardbot body to automatically target and kill... basically everyone.  Yes, it totally was accidental.  No, it was just a coincidence that the cultist who died had just threatened him.  He didn't take the threat seriously, anyway.
After the aforementioned cultist's corpse began to apotheosize, casually summoned the hand of an elder god to drag it away to the nether realm and unmade.
Utterly destroyed some kind of flesh-containing canister which was definitely a horrible trap meant to kill us all.

Code: [Select]

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: None to speak of~
Hearing: Disabled; speech to text enabled.
Taste: Robots don't eat!
Touch: Pressure sensors apparently don't count.

[piecewise]

During mission briefing it was mentioned that the person briefing us (anime ape?) could act as our mission control. I think it was also mentioned that we could send them text messages. Send a private text message to see if they are indeed receiving messages and if they can reply (something like "test message to see if you guys are receiving, please confirm if yes"). 

"Well that's helpful(?)."   

Note: the person briefing us was the NPC speaking in yellow (also an ape I believe, but maybe not anime-ape?), who understands space-English. Either way, since Yagyu received a response he'll assume command is receiving messages and will send the following private message if Wil continues to behave erratically:

Employee Wilfred is suffering from what looks to be PTSD and is planning to kill the person we are tasked with retrieving. Would it be possible to disable his guns or, if not, to break the connection between his simulated consciousness and the body he is currently inhabiting from your end? If yes, please be ready to do so should it prove necessary. 

"Welp, guess he's in there somewhere. Maybe he had his appearance modified, or maybe there will be a big Frankenstein waiting for us in there.

Then again, he could also be waiting for us in sector A, where the PA system got hacked from. I could always weld that surgical suite shut from our side so we can explore more of this and the next sector safely."

Get into hard cover but with sight of that door. If it gets opened this turn by either a teammate or from the inside, goop whatever is in there to the floor (do not goop face so as to not suffocate it). Prep a private message for command to disable Wil, send it should it look like he will harm our target.

If that door isn't opened this turn and no other shenanigans occur, check where the door to sector A is.

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

MOOK MAP CLICK HERE
Current sector: B (medical malpractice central)
previous sectors: L (brobots), J (darkness), K (was on fire), H (buncha survivors), G (robophobic jungle), D (crocotrouble)

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: Slightly smaller than average, tanned, sideburns.
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew

Life: d4
Attack: d10

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d8
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d8
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d6
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Sight: reduced refresh rate
Smell: no smell
Hearing: text to speech
Taste: no taste (hah!)
Touch: no touch beyond what's needed to stay upright I suppose


Status: partially caved in metal head

Inventory:
Modified goop thrower. Has 2 firing modes. Does no damage: if successful, target is immobilized. Multiple guns used in concert stack. Some targets immune. d8 use die
   Standard [not in use]: d4 attack, regular use die usage.
   OVERDRIVE [currently selected]: higher attack at the cost of increased use die usage. For every more powerful use, use die is rolled at disadvantage.
   Current overdrive: d10
   current goop tank: d8/d8 use die

“PINPOINT” Carbine (d8, damage gains advantage when aimed for 1 turn, d6 use die)
parts for prototype gun
10 prototype rounds
2 spare goop tanks (all full)
1 empty goop tank
'a few' mining explosives (1 used for killing the psychic, 1 given to Pathos)
1 broken/disabled claymore
Cutting/welding torch
radio jammer
1 unit of useful metal bits
Toolkit (3/3 charges)
computing cube
a large spool of synthetic cable
environment scanner
syringe with a bit of mystery fluid
full syringes with viruses
2x earpiece of thrall
bodyparts, enough for full body (to be collected at the end of the mission)
syringe with tranquilizer
ziptie
fungicide container

cognition copier
Money: 1050


Elen's stuff:
OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 attack) x2 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (1 charges)
OMNITECH Stimulant (3 charges)
5 gallon container of extremely flammable fuel, currently has 4 gallons
4 gallon container of water
Lighter => destroyed
OMNITECH Cognition Copier
Blindfold
OMNITECH Mental Purgant
Money: 200

Burt's stuff
 blindfold
 ear plugs
 Silly trashcan helmet
 Pathos' text-to-speed earbuds
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 tiny mug with a flower on the side
 A dwarf bobblehead
Money: 6

Anya's stuff
OMNITECH red jumpsuit
Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged)
GPS magazine ×3 (d4)
Omnitech Tool kit (0/3)
High visibility flares ×5
monkey wrench (d4)
Cognition copier
Glowspray paint
Earplugs (upgraded with TTS)  given to EEED
Blindfold
Noseplugs
Box O'socks
Box O'tacks
Bunch O'smart drugs
Pneumatic Cable Cutter
Money: 89

Bob's stuff
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (1 / 3)
 High visibility flares x5
 Zip tie
 Dead fish
 Med kit
 uneaten single serve packet of pudding
 sensory deprivation suit  given to Edward
Money: 0

Richter's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
Isolation Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Transient Psychokinetic stimulant (single use. When used, roll occult. Roll is equal to number of turns it will function. Allows direct ranged and melee attack with Will as damage. Roll occult afterwards for side effects)
Demon Symbiote thing: Crocodemon d12, Teeth Elemental d12, Icon of Butchery d4, d10 human
Current demon symbiote manifestations: Maggot demon armor, Poot gun (d6 damage)
Money:  0

Larry's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (x3 Magazines)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Bio-razor (SOLD)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Isolotation suit (2x)
OMINITECH Riot Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
d6 Generic Security Rifle
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm
Fancy airpods
-5 Lizard talons
-5 feet of Lizard skin
Money: 0

Only if we have a connection to his current body. Please establish connection.

It appears that no one is going to open the door, so Yagyu wanders off to find the door to sector A. He finds it without any real issue; it doesn't appear locked or otherwise blocked in any way. Its just...there...and unlocked.

"Hey robot minigun man, I'm sure you're very angry at our psyker friend but we kinda need the money so could you pretty please shred him after he's been dissected by the boss men or me and we get paid? I'm sure they'll leave you at least 20% of Derp as a reward."

Stay away from the door, try to see if there's anything around that can be used as a makeshift sedative/robot disabler in a worst-case scenario.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Samantha "Sam" Endashale
Description: Sam used to be a research scientist at a prestigious biotech company until her distressing vigor for human experimentation got her fired. That, or perhaps the 3 graduate students that went missing under her tutelage. Regardless of the reason, she ended up finding work at OMNITECH. She chose a field position herself, and seems to be eagerly awaiting the chance to try....something....

She's a stimulant addict and has wide, staring eyes.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d6
Knowledge:d4
Fate: d8

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d4
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d4
Technology:d4
Medical:d12
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a Medical roll)
OMNITECH Stimulant (Raises life by one die level till next injury) X 1

[6]
Sam discovers an emergency battery pack! If (im)properly used it probably shock the crap out of some dumb robot and shut it down!

"I wonder how many of the test subjects were named Ed?"

Stay out of the way.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Edward Mortan
Physical Description: He's a bit scrawny and unshaven. Never opens his eyes more than halfway.
Background: Edward can replace a lightbulb without too much difficulty, and he watches a lot of youtube videos. Edward endeavours to do as little as possible in his life and so far has performed admirably.

Life: d2 (OMNITECH White Jumpsuit, disposable space suit, sensory deprivation suit)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee (hammer)

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d8
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d6

Status: Against all odds, has never been injured in the slightest
Senses deprived!


Inventory:
Sensory deprivation suit
OMNITECH White Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Override Fob
OMNITECH Personal Computing Cube and Universal adapter
>FOF program, works on murderbots
Universal Communicator (Broken)
Disposable Spacesuit
Omni-eye
Omni-health insurance policy
Hammer (1d4 melee)


Money: 500 omni

Ed crawls into a laundry hamper and huddles under the bloody sheets.

Go search the tube that will "pacified" to try to figure out what the deal is (unless someone already did and I wasn't paying attentions).
Afterwards, see if anything in the lab looks valuable. Maybe some organs that would go for a penny on the Blackmarket?

Edit- Make sure to avoid WilBot

Spoiler: JiBot (click to show/hide)

Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Physical Description:

Cyborg Combat Body

A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large ember green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.

Tall, Skinny, Pale, Gaunt. Almost bald even though he can’t be older than 30. Patchy and scruffy stubble that goes all the way down his neck. His eyes aren’t soulless per se, but they have unnaturally white irises, and are filled with a certain, determination.

Background:

Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.

 Stuart. He was always an odd child. He wanted to be skilled at killing people even as a small child. His parents were very wealthy, and very overprotective of him. Instead of getting him karate lessons or into sports, they got him the most state-of-the-art simulation entertainment system money could buy. He got good at what he did. By the time he was 10, he was the number one Waifu Assassins Guild IX player in the world. However, once he got old enough, it was time to get a job. And since he’s literally good for nothing else, and he fancies himself a killer, he decided to join the Omni-tech security crew.

Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags

d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)

Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d6
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: Back to somewhat normal
Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell:Deactivated-Robot
Hearing:Deactivated-Robot
Taste:Deactivated-Robot
Touch:Germ Suit

Inventory:
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Brain Backup
Toot’s shock control
Tranquilizer syringe
Germ suit
Large Zip-ties
Cafeteria Gift card
Waifubot body
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw


Money:
-400 debt
135

Follow JiBot to the snacks. Negotiate with Jibot for the snacks. Eat the snacks.

Spoiler: Bob (click to show/hide)

Name: Bob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 (Bite)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Bitey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Al's body.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a repair or modify roll) strapped in a harness around his torso
Box of (4/)5 high visibility flares. Ironically, these are very inconspicuously stored, somewhere.
recently malfunctioning thermornuclear device (ingested)
Money: 0

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

Broke something in the fish aisle.
ate recently liberated fish
became loveable, toothy, mascot
explored deep, dark hole with his specialized rod. Hole was deep, and dark
ate infected corspe,
discovered weird illness
acquired weird illness
survived weird illness
failed to 3d print a cat to wear as a hat
repaired nuclear power cell
ate nuclear power cell
defeated obstructionist 3d printer in melee
greeted securibot affably (for an alligator)
acquired experimental bolt action steel brick
did not fire experimental brick at the darkness
guided Tara through the darkness
ate BIG SNACK
opened fire suppressant control panel
dragged Tara to medical assistance
discarded experimental gun
pool
Bob

[1]

Ji attempts to pry the clues out of Bob's mouth, since Bob ate up all the flesh from the destroyed tube. Bob attempts to eat Ji's metal hands. The two of them don't get anywhere.

"I wonder how many of the test subjects were named Ed?"

"Dozens, perhaps millions! We will never know for sure. But never fear, with the power of name changes, anyone may enter the Congregation of Ed!

I am accepting alternate names for our cult."

Continue looking around for anyone in need of chiropractic care/exorcism. Begin to consider how to set up a society of Ed once this mission's over.

Spoiler: EEED (click to show/hide)

Name: EEED (Entertaining, Educational, Elastic, Disposable)

Background: Created as part of a product line of quick-use clones with pre-installed memories, skills, and behavioral sets in order to fill gaps in high-skill fields for a comparatively cheap price, EEED’s entire line was scrapped when someone realized his name-acronym sounded like it was describing a sex toy and the resulting onslaught of memes caused the forced ‘retirement’ of the executives that had initiated the idea. This EEED, gestationally imprinted with chiropractic and massage techniques, was somehow missed in the purge of defective product and ended up finding a job with OMNICORP before his parent company’s legal team/hit squad could track him down.

Description: A big, doughy ball of a man, with earnest, simplistic facial features that look like someone crudely shaped them out of clay. Small, circular eyes peer out at the world with innocent warmth, contrasting his oddly large teeth that are perfectly square and just a little larger than normal, enough to be noticeable. He has absolutely no hair, though his scalp is tattooed with his terms of usage, patterned in such a way that suggests a balding fringe.

Class: Sanitation Officer
Life: d2
Attack: d2

Stats:
d4 Strength
d4 Dexterity
d4 Speed
d4 Endurance
d4 Will
d4 Knowledge
d12 Fate

Skills:
d4 Melee
d4 Guns
d4 Explosives
d4 Implants
d4 Mechanics
d4 Technology
d10 Medical
d4 Occult
d4 Speech

Status: Fine
Inventory:
Rubberized Jumpsuit
Incinerator
Arc Scraper
Automop
Staff of Ed (Wilfred’s detached gun-arm)

Senses:
Sight - Eyemask (presumably stretched over jumpsuit head)
Hearing - Text-to-speech earbuds
Touch - Suit probably insulates
Taste - Suit probably insulates
Smell - Suit probably insulates
Empathy - Only a facsimile, EEED isn't fully aware that other people are real

[2]
The first step in setting up the society of Eds would be to establish a set of governing principles by which all Eds should live. 

No idea what they should be though.....probably something about not killing other Eds?

"I'm gonna look for supplies to use if someone does something stupid, which given this groups history is bound to happen."
Stay away from the door and search the area for a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher.

Spoiler: Dead man walking (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm

Sight:  sensory deprivation helmet
Smell:  sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing:  sensory deprivation helmet
Taste:  sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit

Stats:
 Strength: d6
 Dexterity: d6
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d4
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d6
 Fate: d6

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d6
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d4
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
Money: 0

[2]
Burt spends several minutes digging through medical supplies, weaseling in and out of sharps containers,  tossing rolls of gauze over his shoulder, and kicking bandaids away in disgust. He cannot find a first aid kit. Nor a fire extinguisher.

"Fuck Derp, but fine, I'll go somewhere else.  That room looks good, and Derp-free.  If any of you try and enter without warning, I'm shooting you.  And I'll shoot even if you do warn me.  Don't enter.  Fuck Derp."

Go lock self inside one of the surgical rooms, make sure it's one that only has *one* entrance.  Or at least one where all the entrances are in view of one spot.  Then set the guardbot to... well, guard mode.  "Kill anything that enters."  While it's busy with that, continually chant "fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp, fuck Derp" over the radio, for everyone to hear.  Constantly.

Also review the recorded footage from own guardbot body, comparing the various posters of people.  Is there any common theme that can be pieced together from the "unfit" posters?  Are all the posters mostly identical?  Or are they just random people?  Men and women, or just men?

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: He looks identical to Wil Wheaton.  That's because he's an identical clone of Wil Wheaton; he actually can't even shave, or even change his hair or anything, it always grows back to the default form within a day.  Scarrification might let Wilfred change his appearance, but he's not really up for that.
A rough skeleton of steel and pistons topped with an oversized camera head mounted on a stubby neck.  All supported on a pair of armored treads.  On either side of the steel frame torso is a pair of mounted miniguns.
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other four, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: d8 Armored Guardbot.  Treads damaged, one minigun arm detached.
Attack: Built-in Double Miniguns: d10 d8 (only one minigun...) (d12 built in ammo supply (d12 max))

Stats:
Str d10
Dex d4
Spd d4
End d12
Wil d6
Kno d6
Fte d4

Skills:

Mel d6
Gun d12
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d10
Med d4
Occ d4
Spc d4

Status: Possibly infected by metal-eating fungus.  Otherwise, awesome.

Inventory: (sitting on the rear tread of the guardbot body)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6) (Left at home)
OMNITECH Riot suit (d6 Life)  (Helmet destroyed)
OMNITECH (?) sensory deprivation suit (d? Life) (Helmet destroyed)
OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged Attack) and 10 magazines (d6 (loaded), d8*9, d4, d0*3 use die)
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton (d4)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Reasonable pair of Handcuffs
OMNITECH Metalstorm Machine Pistol (d6; but can be rolled as many times as the player wants until the use die runs out.) and 1 magazine (d6)
Headless corpse of Wil Wheaton.
Fungicide canister.

Toby's Military-grade laser (d6 ranged attack, chargable up to d20) with one depleted battery)

Cognition Copier (destroyed)

Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

Military-grade guardbot (Used as current body)

Money: -303, owed to loan shark.

Helpful (?) things done on mission:
Shot up some screens and a speaker in the server room.  And probably a bunch of other rooms.  He's kinda been shooting screens and speakers throughout the entire complex.
Killed a bunch of thralls who were assaulting teammates.
Maybe helped finish off the psychic that ambushed the team.
Reactivated Sector Q's power, then locked all the exits just before realizing Q's Hell Portal was left active, just without power.
Shot some of the demons that were released in sector Q.
Melted a giant statue of the company founder that was being telekinetically flung at the team, before it could even kill anyone!  Will leave out who the statue depicted when he reports this.
Accused Leslie of being a mind-controlled thrall and attempted to shoot her.  Then ordered her to save Gabe (he was choking on his own zip ties), which she did do.  This doesn't sound impressive, but considering that the only other security team member nearby at the time was hovering over Gabe waiting for him to die so she could loot his gear...
Found his way to the robotics & armament (?) sector's control room, where he remotely subverted a heavily armed guardbot to guard him.  And assist him with the mission, of course.  Reprogramming company property in order to save even more valuable company property shows forward thinking and positive initiative!
Successfully hacked open the ammo room for Yagyu and friends.
Hacked the endoskeleton robots to stop killing team members and instead escort the team out of the sector nonlethally.
Found the exit from the vantablack sector, in literally the first turn of trying to find an exit.
Blew up something in the flaming sector, probably an IED that was supposed to kill the entire team.  Totally.  So Wilfred actually reduced the damage caused by it, by blowing it up before it was a major risk!
Uh.  Got killed and then was installed into the guardbot.
"Accidentally" murdered two teammates by reprogramming his guardbot body to automatically target and kill... basically everyone.  Yes, it totally was accidental.  No, it was just a coincidence that the cultist who died had just threatened him.  He didn't take the threat seriously, anyway.
After the aforementioned cultist's corpse began to apotheosize, casually summoned the hand of an elder god to drag it away to the nether realm and unmade.
Utterly destroyed some kind of flesh-containing canister which was definitely a horrible trap meant to kill us all.

Code: [Select]

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: None to speak of~
Hearing: Disabled; speech to text enabled.
Taste: Robots don't eat!
Touch: Pressure sensors apparently don't count.

Wilfred trundles off into an unused surgical theater. He hangs a small sign saying "NO GIRLS ALLOWED. ALSO NO BOYS. OR ANYONE. I WILL SHOOT YOU." from the door and then locks himself in.  He rolls over into the corner, aligns his guns with the door, sets them to autofire, and retreats into his own mechanical brain.

[4]
Judging from what he can tell about the posters, the unfit ones do follow a pattern. Its easy to see what that pattern is too: Its anything that doesn't look like Derp.  Skin colors and hues that aren't like his, arms that are too long or short to be proportional judging by the body measurements Wilfred have for him,  etc. It looks as though Derp is looking for flesh that matches his own...though Wil can't really guess why.

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

Sam will take a gander at the bodies and try to use her medical knowledge to try and guess what Derp wants in having more Derps. That major in the Frankenstein School of Clones has to be useful somehow.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Samantha "Sam" Endashale
Description: Sam used to be a research scientist at a prestigious biotech company until her distressing vigor for human experimentation got her fired. That, or perhaps the 3 graduate students that went missing under her tutelage. Regardless of the reason, she ended up finding work at OMNITECH. She chose a field position herself, and seems to be eagerly awaiting the chance to try....something....

She's a stimulant addict and has wide, staring eyes.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 sidearm (d4 use die)

Stats
Strength:d4
Dexterity:d4
Speed:d4
Endurance:d4
Will: d6
Knowledge:d4
Fate: d8

Skills
Melee: d4
Guns:d4
Explosives:d4
Implants:d4
Mechanics:d4
Technology:d4
Medical:d12
Occult:d4
Speech: d4

OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a Medical roll)
OMNITECH Stimulant (Raises life by one die level till next injury) X 1
Emergency battery pack

[piecewise]

"Recommendation: medics should restock their supplies with the help of .
Recommendation: Wilfred should leave the room until summoned."

Knock on the door, yell "I've got that pizza you ordered!" and then drop my mining charge and get to a safe distance. (If someone with better speech is willing to impersonate the pizza boy I'm fine with that.) That way, if whatever comes out is dangerous I'll be able to just blow it up.

Spoiler: Pathos: Senior Tech Officer (click to show/hide)

Name: Pathos
Physical Description: A Chihuahua-sized robotic spider. It's entirely mechanical but has a very organic design to it. The mechanics are hidden inside an smooth exoskeleton of metal painted with a matte thin rubber that hides the joints and insulates it. Essentially imagine a giant tarantula but apparently made of hard rubber, a camera instead of a head, and mechanical manipulators instead of mandibles.  It is painted a very dark grey, almost black, blending with the shadows.
Background: Delusions of grandeur. Took this job as a way to rapidly advance the ranks and see cool things. And because it would give him plenty of opportunities to set things on fire without his superiors being close enough to yell at him. Lost his original body in a freak shuttle accident.
Class: Senior Tech Officer (+200 OMNI per mission, built in computing cube)
Lead Demolitions Tech (+150 OMNI per mission, repairs will be deducted from paycheck)


Life: d4: Chihuahua-sized robospider
Attack: d4: Needle gun

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d12
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: *excited spider noises*

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: N/A is robot
Hearing: Speech-to-text-to-speech
Taste: N/A is robot
Touch: N/A is robot
Extra: Motion Sensor, Limited Omniscience

Inventory:
Universal connector (embedded in body)
Computing cube (embedded in rank)
    -Text-to-speech earplug control
OMNITECH Thermite cutting charge (3d10 damage but concentrated, no splash, single use. Cuts through metal)
1 mining explosive
Glowspray paint
OMNITECH Motion sensor
OMNITECH “Limited Omniscience” Sensor
Power cord

Money: 475

Pathos knocks on the sealed door and shouts about a delivery of circular bread with congealed fat toppings.  He then drops his mining charge next to the door and scampers away. 

To his great surprise no one opens the door.

[Radio Controlled]

23:56] Radio Controlled: @Piecewise that door we are facing in mook, does it look like it swings inward to us, or outward into the room?
[23:58] Piecewise: It looks like it slides into the wall
[23:58] Piecewise: hydraulic metal door
[23:58] Piecewise: We don't have fugging swinging doors round here
[23:58] Piecewise: what kind of plebs are we?
[23:58] Radio Controlled: Also, how is it locked, can we tell?
[23:59] Piecewise: Keypad, electronically locked
[23:59] Radio Controlled: Like, a software lock so to speak, or- ah.
[23:59] Radio Controlled: Thanks!

"Allrighty. If one of you could hack open the door so I can keep my goop launcher trained on it and open fire the second it opens, that'd be swell. If any of you have a flashbang we could toss in first that'd be even better. We could also just weld shut the door and lock them in, buuut our mission was to get that bloke back into his isolation chamber, so yeah, not an option."

First weld the door to sector A shut (use toolkit charge if possible). Not a full weld, just a quick one to prevent easy opening. If Pathos immediately opens the surgical door though then skip this and just get ready.

Get back into hard cover with sight of the surgical suite. Once it gets opened, goop whatever is in there to the floor (do not goop face so as to not suffocate it).

Only if we have a connection to his current body. Please establish connection.

Wait, I'm confused. Isn't his consciousness being simulated on a computer where the cognition copier is, and then getting 'streamed' into that new body? Or are you telling me that a random security guardbot has all the hardware required to simulate a human consciousness in the same way that a robobody brain can?

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

MOOK MAP CLICK HERE
Current sector: B (medical malpractice central)
previous sectors: L (brobots), J (darkness), K (was on fire), H (buncha survivors), G (robophobic jungle), D (crocotrouble)

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: Slightly smaller than average, tanned, sideburns.
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew

Life: d4
Attack: d10

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d8
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d8
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d6
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Sight: reduced refresh rate
Smell: no smell
Hearing: text to speech
Taste: no taste (hah!)
Touch: no touch beyond what's needed to stay upright I suppose


Status: partially caved in metal head

Inventory:
Modified goop thrower. Has 2 firing modes. Does no damage: if successful, target is immobilized. Multiple guns used in concert stack. Some targets immune. d8 use die
   Standard [not in use]: d4 attack, regular use die usage.
   OVERDRIVE [currently selected]: higher attack at the cost of increased use die usage. For every more powerful use, use die is rolled at disadvantage.
   Current overdrive: d10
   current goop tank: d8/d8 use die

“PINPOINT” Carbine (d8, damage gains advantage when aimed for 1 turn, d6 use die)
parts for prototype gun
10 prototype rounds
2 spare goop tanks (all full)
1 empty goop tank
'a few' mining explosives (1 used for killing the psychic, 1 given to Pathos)
1 broken/disabled claymore
Cutting/welding torch
radio jammer
1 unit of useful metal bits
Toolkit (3/3 charges)
computing cube
a large spool of synthetic cable
environment scanner
syringe with a bit of mystery fluid
full syringes with viruses
2x earpiece of thrall
bodyparts, enough for full body (to be collected at the end of the mission)
syringe with tranquilizer
ziptie
fungicide container

cognition copier
Money: 1050


Elen's stuff:
OMNITECH Green Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 attack) x2 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Medical Kit (1 charges)
OMNITECH Stimulant (3 charges)
5 gallon container of extremely flammable fuel, currently has 4 gallons
4 gallon container of water
Lighter => destroyed
OMNITECH Cognition Copier
Blindfold
OMNITECH Mental Purgant
Money: 200

Burt's stuff
 blindfold
 ear plugs
 Silly trashcan helmet
 Pathos' text-to-speed earbuds
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 tiny mug with a flower on the side
 A dwarf bobblehead
Money: 6

Anya's stuff
OMNITECH red jumpsuit
Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged)
GPS magazine ×3 (d4)
Omnitech Tool kit (0/3)
High visibility flares ×5
monkey wrench (d4)
Cognition copier
Glowspray paint
Earplugs (upgraded with TTS)  given to EEED
Blindfold
Noseplugs
Box O'socks
Box O'tacks
Bunch O'smart drugs
Pneumatic Cable Cutter
Money: 89

Bob's stuff
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (1 / 3)
 High visibility flares x5
 Zip tie
 Dead fish
 Med kit
 uneaten single serve packet of pudding
 sensory deprivation suit  given to Edward
Money: 0

Richter's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
Isolation Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Transient Psychokinetic stimulant (single use. When used, roll occult. Roll is equal to number of turns it will function. Allows direct ranged and melee attack with Will as damage. Roll occult afterwards for side effects)
Demon Symbiote thing: Crocodemon d12, Teeth Elemental d12, Icon of Butchery d4, d10 human
Current demon symbiote manifestations: Maggot demon armor, Poot gun (d6 damage)
Money:  0

Larry's stuff  (some of this might be broken)
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (x3 Magazines)
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 5
OMNITECH Null-Rod
OMNITECH Bio-razor (SOLD)
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
OMNITECH Isolotation suit (2x)
OMINITECH Riot Suit
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
d6 Generic Security Rifle
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm
Fancy airpods
-5 Lizard talons
-5 feet of Lizard skin
Money: 0

[Ozarck]

The storage rooms are packed floor to ceiling with organic sample tubes: human arms, eyes, teeth, bits of flesh and skin suspended in greenish nutrigel and stacked like firewood with no labels.  There are no signs of the bodies they came from.

I believe JiBot and Bob were interested in this, rather than in fighting over Bob's previous snacks. Anyway, if JiBot (or any other character) rummages about in thses storage rooms, Bob will accompany them and negotiate for snacks, and eat said snacks.

Spoiler: Bob (click to show/hide)

Name: Bob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4
Attack: d4 (Bite)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Bitey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Al's body.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges. Expend one to gain advantage on a repair or modify roll) strapped in a harness around his torso
Box of (4/)5 high visibility flares. Ironically, these are very inconspicuously stored, somewhere.
recently malfunctioning thermornuclear device (ingested)
Money: 0

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

Broke something in the fish aisle.
ate recently liberated fish
became loveable, toothy, mascot
explored deep, dark hole with his specialized rod. Hole was deep, and dark
ate infected corspe,
discovered weird illness
acquired weird illness
survived weird illness
failed to 3d print a cat to wear as a hat
repaired nuclear power cell
ate nuclear power cell
defeated obstructionist 3d printer in melee
greeted securibot affably (for an alligator)
acquired experimental bolt action steel brick
did not fire experimental brick at the darkness
guided Tara through the darkness
ate BIG SNACK
opened fire suppressant control panel
dragged Tara to medical assistance
discarded experimental gun
pool
Bob

[NAV]

"Allrighty. If one of you could hack open the door so I can keep my goop launcher trained on it and open fire the second it opens, that'd be swell. If any of you have a flashbang we could toss in first that'd be even better. We could also just weld shut the door and lock them in, buuut our mission was to get that bloke back into his isolation chamber, so yeah, not an option."

"It could be an option? He has to starve eventually. Does this mission got a time limit?" Says a quiet voice from inside a dirty laundry hamper.

[The Lupanian]

I’ll cover Yagyu, whatever he ends up doing.

Spoiler: JiBot (click to show/hide)

Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Physical Description:

Cyborg Combat Body

A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large ember green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.

Tall, Skinny, Pale, Gaunt. Almost bald even though he can’t be older than 30. Patchy and scruffy stubble that goes all the way down his neck. His eyes aren’t soulless per se, but they have unnaturally white irises, and are filled with a certain, determination.

Background:

Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.

 Stuart. He was always an odd child. He wanted to be skilled at killing people even as a small child. His parents were very wealthy, and very overprotective of him. Instead of getting him karate lessons or into sports, they got him the most state-of-the-art simulation entertainment system money could buy. He got good at what he did. By the time he was 10, he was the number one Waifu Assassins Guild IX player in the world. However, once he got old enough, it was time to get a job. And since he’s literally good for nothing else, and he fancies himself a killer, he decided to join the Omni-tech security crew.

Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags

d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)

Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d6
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: Back to somewhat normal
Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell:Deactivated-Robot
Hearing:Deactivated-Robot
Taste:Deactivated-Robot
Touch:Germ Suit

Inventory:
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton
Brain Backup
Toot’s shock control
Tranquilizer syringe
Germ suit
Large Zip-ties
Cafeteria Gift card
Waifubot body
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw


Money:
-400 debt
135

[Naturegirl1999]

((Sorry for being gone for so long, is Tara still in her human body? If so, where is she?))

[King Zultan]

"OH GOD DAMN IT, why can't these people have put all this shit into one convenient box for me to steal, now I've got to build my own kit. Fucking asshole doctors making me work for my first aid stuff."
Find a box and fill it with any medical supplies I think could be good for first aid.

Spoiler: Dead man walking (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: A generic looking bastard.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm

Sight:  sensory deprivation helmet
Smell:  sensory deprivation helmet
Hearing:  sensory deprivation helmet
Taste:  sensory deprivation helmet
Touch: OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit

Stats:
 Strength: d6
 Dexterity: d6
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d4
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d6
 Fate: d6

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d6
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d4
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: Fixed lung, other bullet wounds
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x4 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (2 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
Money: 0

[Parisbre56]

Robo-sigh, pick up my bomb and go open the door for Yagyu the usual computer-probing way. Then step out of the way so that I don't get covered by his sticky white goop when he unloads it all over the room full of corpses.

Spoiler: Pathos: Senior Tech Officer (click to show/hide)

Name: Pathos
Physical Description: A Chihuahua-sized robotic spider. It's entirely mechanical but has a very organic design to it. The mechanics are hidden inside an smooth exoskeleton of metal painted with a matte thin rubber that hides the joints and insulates it. Essentially imagine a giant tarantula but apparently made of hard rubber, a camera instead of a head, and mechanical manipulators instead of mandibles.  It is painted a very dark grey, almost black, blending with the shadows.
Background: Delusions of grandeur. Took this job as a way to rapidly advance the ranks and see cool things. And because it would give him plenty of opportunities to set things on fire without his superiors being close enough to yell at him. Lost his original body in a freak shuttle accident.
Class: Senior Tech Officer (+200 OMNI per mission, built in computing cube)
Lead Demolitions Tech (+150 OMNI per mission, repairs will be deducted from paycheck)


Life: d4: Chihuahua-sized robospider
Attack: d4: Needle gun

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d12
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Status: *excited spider noises*

Sight: 0.2 FPS
Smell: N/A is robot
Hearing: Speech-to-text-to-speech
Taste: N/A is robot
Touch: N/A is robot
Extra: Motion Sensor, Limited Omniscience

Inventory:
Universal connector (embedded in body)
Computing cube (embedded in rank)
    -Text-to-speech earplug control
OMNITECH Thermite cutting charge (3d10 damage but concentrated, no splash, single use. Cuts through metal)
1 mining explosive
Glowspray paint
OMNITECH Motion sensor
OMNITECH “Limited Omniscience” Sensor
Power cord

Money: 475

[Naturegirl1999]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1)
Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d6
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit, OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, empty plate, Tranquilizer syringe, armful of dead fish-2
Money: 347 OMNI

Code: (senses and blocking of them) [Select]

Sight: Blindfold
Smell: Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Hearing:Text to Speech Earplugs, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Taste:Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation Suit
Touch:Human Flesh Gloves, Isolation Suit, Sensory Deprivation SuitGo through the Sector A door, goop whatever seems like a threat

[Radio Controlled]

"Allrighty. If one of you could hack open the door so I can keep my goop launcher trained on it and open fire the second it opens, that'd be swell. If any of you have a flashbang we could toss in first that'd be even better. We could also just weld shut the door and lock them in, buuut our mission was to get that bloke back into his isolation chamber, so yeah, not an option."

"It could be an option? He has to starve eventually. Does this mission got a time limit?" Says a quiet voice from inside a dirty laundry hamper.

"Well, our mission briefing explicitly stated: "Place the subject back in his cage. Make sure he is fully visible in the cage so he can't be one of you in disguise. Come back here and wait.  After 24 hours, we will open the door again and begin reclamation.". So yeah, there is a time limit, and they want him to be in his cage.

Now, if we were absolutely sure that this guy is indeed in this room, then perhaps locking him in would be good enough. However, we don't know that for sure, there might just be a pile of mutilated dead bodies in there. So yeah, I'm afraid we'll have to investigate."

[Xantalos]

”THE SCRIPTURES OF ED:

1. HARM YE NOT THOSE WHICH HAVE THE SACRED NAME
2. THE SACRED NAME IS ED, COMPRISED OF AN INFINITUDE OF BOTH E AND D
3. TO ATTAIN SACRED STATUS ONE MAY APPEND MORE LETTERS TO THEIR NAME, PROVIDED THOSE LETTERS ARE E AND D IN EQUAL PROPORTION. SACRED DEEDS ARE REQUIRED TO ADVANCE THE HOLINESS OF ONE'S NAME
4. THY TASK IS TO HEAL ALL THOSE LACKING THE SACRED NAME, AND IN DOING SO CHANGE THEIR FORMS OF ADDRESS PART BY PART INTO THE SACRED NAME
5. NEVER BETRAY ANOTHER ED FOR YOU ARE BOTH MANIFESTATIONS OF THE SACRED NAME, WHICH LOVES ITSELF
6. THE HIGHEST OF CALLINGS IS WORKING TO ADVANCE THE MANIFESTATION OF THE PRIME ED, WHETHER BY SHAPING OTHERS INTO VESSELS FOR THE SACRED NAME OR BY DIVINING THE WAYS THAT THE FABRIC OF REALITY MAY BE MADE TO WELCOME THE TRUTH OF ED
7. THE NAME WV AND ALL VARIATIONS THEREOF, BEING THE ANTITHESIS OF ED, IS THE ENEMY. DESTROY IT WHEREVER IT IS FOUND”

EEED shudders momentarily as he internalizes these sacred truths. "Well then! Time to get to work! This fellow's name is Derp, which is 50% holy, so recovering him safely will surely be enough to realign the balance of my name."

Since there's nothing else I can currently do to help in capturing the wayward Derp without immediately getting mind controlled, begin preaching to everyone else about the benefits of joining the Cult of ED.

Spoiler: EEED (click to show/hide)

Name: EEED (Entertaining, Educational, Elastic, Disposable)

Background: Created as part of a product line of quick-use clones with pre-installed memories, skills, and behavioral sets in order to fill gaps in high-skill fields for a comparatively cheap price, EEED’s entire line was scrapped when someone realized his name-acronym sounded like it was describing a sex toy and the resulting onslaught of memes caused the forced ‘retirement’ of the executives that had initiated the idea. This EEED, gestationally imprinted with chiropractic and massage techniques, was somehow missed in the purge of defective product and ended up finding a job with OMNICORP before his parent company’s legal team/hit squad could track him down.

Description: A big, doughy ball of a man, with earnest, simplistic facial features that look like someone crudely shaped them out of clay. Small, circular eyes peer out at the world with innocent warmth, contrasting his oddly large teeth that are perfectly square and just a little larger than normal, enough to be noticeable. He has absolutely no hair, though his scalp is tattooed with his terms of usage, patterned in such a way that suggests a balding fringe.

Class: Sanitation Officer
Life: d2
Attack: d2

Stats:
d4 Strength
d4 Dexterity
d4 Speed
d4 Endurance
d4 Will
d4 Knowledge
d12 Fate

Skills:
d4 Melee
d4 Guns
d4 Explosives
d4 Implants
d4 Mechanics
d4 Technology
d10 Medical
d4 Occult
d4 Speech

Status: Fine
Inventory:
Rubberized Jumpsuit
Incinerator
Arc Scraper
Automop
Staff of Ed (Wilfred’s detached gun-arm)

Senses:
Sight - Eyemask (presumably stretched over jumpsuit head)
Hearing - Text-to-speech earbuds
Touch - Suit probably insulates
Taste - Suit probably insulates
Smell - Suit probably insulates
Empathy - Only a facsimile, EEED isn't fully aware that other people are real