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[Egan_BW]

((Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow, and insidious killer.))

[King Zultan]

"How is that thing not dead, I thought nuking people killed them and everything around them?"
See if I can get onto the internet and see if any of the TV stations or news websites have an eye on what's happening outside the EDPC and what they think caused it and what they intend to do about it.

Spoiler: Is no longer dead! (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: An animatronic Dandy Fox with an old money southern drawl.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm / d8 Close Sawn off Shotgun (d4 use die) with bayonet d4

Sight:
Smell: Nope can't do that.
Hearing:
Taste: Doesn't have one.
Touch: Probably doesn't really have that ether.

Stats:
 Strength: d4
 Dexterity: d4
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d8
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d4
 Fate: d4

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d8
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d6
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: No longer dead.
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x5 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (0 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
 First Aid kit (1)
 Fire extinguisher (d6 use)
 Harpoon
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack)
 Sawn off Shotgun (d8 Close)(d4 use die) Box of shells (d6 use die) with Bayonet d4
 Cold Steel "Battle Ready" katana (d6 use die)
 OMNITECH Passive Personal Shield Generator (d12 life, d4 use die)
 Glow sticks (D6 use die)
 Hand held video camera. with up link to OMNITECH server.
 A gun effectively identical to the containment turrets, d8 ammo and not reloadable
 Rocket Launcher (d12+3 ranged explosive)
 Flashlight
 Laptop
 Smartphone
 A small ball that has complex etched designs on the surface and smolders with yellow flames
 Knife
 Machete
 Rifle
 5 Handguns
Money:
 245 Omni
 6,000 Megabucks

[Ozarck]

Any of bloBob's inventory survive? in particular, riot suit, spiderbot, tentacle, money ... Chevrolet?

Shlorp up into the EdPC and regurgitate Tara into a seat. Test my bio-mobility by giving the team a big, toothy grin.

Spoiler: The MOOKiest (click to show/hide)

Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)

Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d8
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d6
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious, grazed by bullet shot by EXC1
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit (has bullet hole in it), OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, Tranquilizer syringe, Sensory Deprivation Suit, Weaponized Plasma Cutter(d4 use die, rolls dex for damage), hypodermic spear(1d6 damage+injection effect), Negotiation Enhancer, Smiles Rifle (d6 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
Money: 47 OMNI

Spoiler: Team Mascot (click to show/hide)

Name: Blob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4 (or whatever the riot suit gives. D6?)
Attack: d4 (Bite)/d8 (tentacle: occult)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d8
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d8
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Gooey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Bob's body.
Omnitech Modified Riot Suit. Fit for an evolutionary relic.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges).
Box of 5 high visibility flares.

spiderbot (nuclear? cat ears attached)
Life d4
Attack: Needle gun [d4 ranged]
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

decorative hat
dwarf bobblehead
mini cape
tentacle
Money: 600

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

addressed human rights violations by attempting to dispose of substandard foodstock from contaminating the food supply.
flushed the toilet
depressurized butadiene and styrene-butadiene pressurized rotational ground contact devices
acquired sustenance
Established a beachhead in the yelllowzone along with Anya
fixed broken plane computer
Bob
Haiku
Ghost mystery solved, small snacks only
Mounted Upsetting Frog Logo^TM to EdPC
Stealthily reconnoitered scientist's office for sna ... secrets. And also snacks.
Drove (well, rode along in) a Chevrolet to a movie theater.
Built Chevrolet Movie Theater
The MOOKiest
No, really. We stuck our dicks in it this time. For Science
Fact (and apple) finding
Survived S.A.M. -9

[syvarris]

Exit the EdPC if possible and not harmful to allies, witness the status of SAM.  Then immediately get to freeing the EdPC if it's trapped, or there's obstacles around it, or anything of that sort.

By the by, do Wilfred's ghost powers allow him to sense anything here?  Try not to actually start summoning ghosts or anything.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: An exaggerated eight-foot tall linebacker-shaped machine constructed out of slabs of white metallo-ceramic armor, laid atop a barely visible metallic undercarriage.  Its legs are stumpy compared to its arms, with a bulbous body due to the double rocket jump pack embedded between its shoulders.
--The hardsuit's right arm has been torn off, and its right leg has been badly crushed... but both were repaired extremely skillfully by Burt.  Good Burt!

Inside, he's a plain robotic body.
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wil Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other six, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: 2d8 (Hardsuit)
Attack: 4d4 Acidthrower

Stats:
Str d10 (Hardsuit buff from d4)
Dex d4
Spd d4
End d4
Wil d4
Kno d4
Fte d4

Skills:

Mel d4
Gun d8
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d12
Med d4
Occ d12
Spc d4

Status: Pristine Robot Body inside a Hardsuit

Inventory:
Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

OMNITECH Neuron reconfiguration helmet (Allows the level of two skills to be switched. Overuse causes reduction of levels.)
---Used three times
OMNITECH Hardsuit (2d8 life, [sub=d8 max]d6[/sub] jumpjets)
---Can skim on smaller rockets
---Built in binocular view
Anomaly detection watch
OMNITECH Cognition Copier (equipped)
Hacked observation drone from Detroit

OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) (Three d4 magazines)
"Cold Comfort" - OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged attack) (Two d8 magazines, one empty magazine)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
2x Smiles Rifles (d6 ranged attack) and 5 magazines (all d6)
3x Smiles Grenades (d12 explosive)
1x Rocket Launcher (d12+3 ranged explosive)
Fragile Darkness artifact gun ()

Money: -853.  Owed to loan shark.

Spoiler: Accomplishments (click to show/hide)

--Scouted Smiles territory from the air
--Summoned a ghost rat which led him to an entrance into the tunnels under Smiles territory.
--Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' hospital intranet without getting any useful information... but, like, technically the Smiles are our enemy, so...
--...Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' entire hospital base with a ghost nuke.  Accidentally.  But, like, again.  Technically our enemy.
--......Aaaaaand then accidentally melted the guards guarding the scientist target, the other scientists, and the scientist we wanted to kidnap.  VERY TECHNICALLY THESE WERE ALL OUR ENEMIES.
--At least Wil grabbed the scientist's soul right after killing him?
--Accidentally summoned a fifteen-story skeleton kaiju in the middle of the Smiles base, probably fucking over everyone there who wasn't already fucked over.  Which... honestly, at this point, Wil should try to negotiate contracts with the corporations recording all this.
----Said skeleton kaiju then left to attack the military perimeter around Detroit.  Who really weren't our enemy, but I guess they are now.
------But he destroyed the skeleton kaiju!  So it's all good!
--Interrogated the ghost of the former institute scientist, gaining presumably valuable intel.
--Destroyed an evacuating Smiles van.
--Accidentally destroyed all the computers in an institute building we wanted to investigate.  Technically some of these were hostile computers controlling turrets, so it wasn't counterproductive in the end.  No, not counterproductive at all...
--Hacked into the flash storage drive that SAM found after Yagyu detonated, containing a ton of information about the central institute building.  Also figured out what said institute building was designed to do.
--Stole an artifact gun worth millions of megabucks from the Bizarre... I guess?  SAM provided the distraction.  And what a distraction it was!
--Guided in the nuke that hit SAM, accelerating its arrival by about 50%; thirty seconds rather than sixty.  Not that this seemed to really matter....

[piecewise]

Baldwin does not pay his teammates any mind as he steps outside of the EDPC and climbs on top. Cape billowing in the wind, he takes out the Military Binoculars he bought oh so long ago and takes a good and detailed look at Sam.

"Don't let those screams concern you." He says to no one in particular.

"These are the wails of a dying animal. SAM had the potential to become something truly powerful, but you dropped the nuke while she was incomplete. It disturbs me that she wasn't killed outright, but it'll only be a matter of time before she succumbs to third degree burns. As Ji so effectively demonstrated, though SAM was strong, the blobs of flesh goo she is composed of are individually quite weak."

Baldwin puts his binoculars away to laugh a little. Then he addresses Wil.

"Do you see it Wilfred? Do you see the bright glow of thousands of liberated souls simultaneously escaping their meaty shells and ascending to the heavens! Anything in that red sea that wasn't able to reach her in time has mostly certainly been reduced to carbon now. She can't touch them anymore, so I can't see how she could possibly regenerate!"



Baldwin of course can't see them, but he assumes Wil does. It'll be really bad news if Wil doesn't see them either.


"Anyway, let's move these buildings out of the way and finally go home. I was once an architect you know. Destroying buildings is even easier than building them!"

And then he flies/climbs off with his explosive charge.


((Anyway, that was flavour-text. I don't actually know what happened to Sam, but I came up with a theory that made sense. I genuinely don't see how the flesh ocean could have survived the nuke. My occult roll will give more accurate information so I assume this will likely be contradicted by something. Here's my actual action in bold text))

Assuming I won't immediately flash-fry upon exiting the EDPC, do so and examine the state of the landscape around me. Then find a good vantage point and examine SAM with my Military binoculars. Try to ascertain the state of her and see how much aligns with the theory I posted above.

Some Sample questions:

• Is SAM actually dying?
• Are the red clouds receding?
• How much of a threat is she still?
• What is she doing now?
• Is the flesh sea charcoal?
• Is there still a way she could regenerate?
• How much more damage can she take before she's dead for good?

Share this info with my team of course. Then fly away or if that fails, climb away and go between the two buildings blocking the road. Carefully place my explosive charge in a place such that when it detonates, it clears a path without damaging the EDPC. Make sure I'm inside the EDPC before I detonate it though and even then only do it if my teammates authorize it. It might be better to use that explosive against SAM if we still need to fight her.

I advise the EDPC back away a bit anyway though, just to ensure absolute safety with explosives.

Spoiler: Baldwin Reborn (click to show/hide)

Name: Robert Baldwin
Physical Description: A tall, pale, and thin man with green eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. You'd almost mistake him for a hippy if it weren't for how well-groomed he was. His hair has a shine to it that one could only get from the most expensive of shampoos and conditioner, while his complexion is flawless. No one knows where he gets his personal hygiene products from.

Also has blood wings and a blood halo now...

Background:  In a past life, Robert was a nature-loving hippy who abandoned his passion for cold-hard cash. Now a shameless capitalist, he thought up many money-making schemes as an occultist at OMMNI, but he encountered failure after failure before meeting his end within the SAM hivemind. Somehow he managed to make it back, but it's hard to gauge how much of his old personality is still intact.

Before even this, Robert had been a famous architect who distinguished himself with his avant garde designs. Life was good for the young upstart, until his preference for beauty over practicality caught up with him.

His biggest achievement, the Sierra Space Resort was a massive space station meant to house the wealthiest of space tourists. Modelled after a dance device from a bygone era, the station was a giant ball covered almost entirely in mirrors. It would reflect the light of a local star and spread it throughout the cosmos, broadcasting its brilliance to anyone in the solar system. This gave it the nickname the "Dazzle Star".

Though the clientele loved it, locals would get very pissed whenever the D-Star touched down in their corner of space. The reflected sunlight wreaked havoc on nearby planets, starting wildfires and even boiling oceans. Eventually enough people got mad and banded together to form a rebellion. The station was not designed to defend against such attacks and was quickly blown up, along with all the upper-classmen inside it.

Someone had to pay for that bloodshed, so Robert ended up facing the suit's wrath. As punishment he was cryogenically frozen for 200 years. Long enough to go out of style.

After serving his sentence, Baldwin applied for a job at OMNI, but the suits confused his unusual floorplans for diagrams of summoning circles. Robert was hired on the spot, but it was only during his second week of basic training did he realize that he may not have gotten the job he was looking for...

And you know the rest.

Life: d6 (reactive fabric cape)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee exploding occult (Ceremonial Dagger)

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d8
Speech: d4

Status: Mostly human again.

Inventory (it's somewhere on the floor embedded in the sludge):
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
     The standard OMNITECH jumpsuit. Covers everything but the head, hands, and feet. Stain resistant, waterproof, breathable, light, and overall comfortable as everyday wear. Offers no protection against anything more dangerous than a spilled cup of coffee.  Has the employee’s name stenciled on the back like a sports jersey.  This one is Black and has a smaller “OCCULT” stenciled across the right side of the chest, just under the collar bone.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
     One of the “Generic” brand of OMNITECH weapons which are ubiquitous in OMNITECH installations. The Generic Personal Sidearm is a handgun as drawn by a 9 year old; A gray rectangle with a gray rectangle grip and a trigger that looks more like a light switch with a trigger guard that looks like an allen wrench. It is uncomfortable, unappealing, and very clearly designed by the lowest bidder, but can effectively put .45 slugs into targets.
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 4
    OMNITECH Containment pods resemble a clear tube held in between two large metal ends with long rods forming a cage and reinforcing structure around the tube.  One of the metal ends has an iris design to allow it to open and allow a sample in before clamping shut. Though the tubes look to be glass they are a multilayer reinforced acrylic that is remarkably strong and non-reactive.
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod with Golden Mushroom and Aluminum
OMNITECH Null-Rod
    The Null-rod is a collapsible rod made of the same non-reactive acrylic as the inner lining of the containment pods. Used by Cultists for the investigative prodding and poking of things that look dangerous.
Ceremonial Dagger (d4, uses occult, die explodes and increases level each explosion)
    A prototype self defense weapon with an entangled connection to the Highly Evil, Logarithmically Lethal plane (H.E.L.L.). Has an over designed appearance to it with a human bone handle and a hooked, serrated blade, almost like a linoleum knife designed by someone who wants to make the linoleum suffer. It’s unknown if the design is somehow conducive to the entanglement or if it's just someone’s idea of a joke. Normally the knife functions like any other mundane instrument of murder, but occasionally it will manifest high levels of H.E.L.L. resonance, producing short lived demonic emissions on contact. Has no OMNITECH branding and never saw a commercial release as of yet due to concerns of cross dimensional bleedover and possession.

OMNITECH EMP grenade (d20 damage, only effects electronics. Single use)

OMNITECH Placed charge (Demo pack, with remote, 3d10 damage, single use)

OMNITECH Reactive fabric cape (1d6 life)

Gentleman's Pipe
    This isn't a pipe. This is a text-based description of a pipe. And also a pipe.
Octarine Tobacco
   An ancient plant from 200 years ago. Used to be all the rage among people with "alternative" lifestyles, but it fell out of style once corporations began selling it legally. Turns out that once the man was in on it, nobody wanted to buy it anymore. By now it would be extinct if it weren't for the single potted plant in Baldwin's room. In the end, Baldwin was a sellout.
Idea Tube
   An old treasure from a past life. Even back then everything was done in CAD, but Baldwin always wanted to stand out. He drew his designs by hand and would store them here for safe keeping along with spare paper and writing tools. This created a tempting prize for any aspiring paparazzi, which lead to him being frequently covered in various magazines. He owes his career to those guys.

Good OMNITECH fishing rod

Some guy's wallet

Some guy's crumpled piece of paper.

A prospector's watch
It's got sensors and shit that detects anomalies. Allegedly ceases to function deeper into the zone

Military grade Electronic Binoculars.
Useful for scouting

Money: -500 OMNI bucks, 147 Megabucks.

You untangle yourself and your new arterial wings from the pile of teammates and wriggle out through the top hatch of the EdPC. The world outside is a painful red, the clouds burnt out of the sky for miles in all directions and scalding winds flowing outwards from the burning city to the south. Black smoke is rising to replace the clouds and tiny fragments of ash are raining down. What is distinctly absent however, is the characteristic mushroom cloud which follows any atomic blast. In its place stands the thing which used to be SAM. No longer a fragmentary figure, the humanoid body now stands  several hundred feet tall, towering over the crater and the burning city beyond it. A warped skeleton, partially covered in charred and glowing flesh, strange organs visible through a still growing chest cavity. A giant heart, alight with the pale blue of Cherenkov radiation, beats audibly within its ribcage. Its head, a distorted skull with flesh slowly creepy over the ridged bone, houses eyes that visibly burn with blue light. 

Muscles in the legs flex visibly and with spurts of black sludgy blood. SAM takes her first step, unsteady and half stumbling. The next is more sure, and the third is smooth despite the skeletal body being only partially muscled.  She turns to face the distant vortex at the heart of the disaster zone.  The glow within her chest grows brighter and all scanners begin pinging higher and higher radioactive emissions.

"Huh..."

You shout down what you're seeing into the EdPC before taking a big flapping leap over the rubble and gliding down on the other side.
[4]
You use your explosive charge to blow away most of the rubble in the way of the EdPC after safely back inside.

"How is that thing not dead, I thought nuking people killed them and everything around them?"
See if I can get onto the internet and see if any of the TV stations or news websites have an eye on what's happening outside the EDPC and what they think caused it and what they intend to do about it.

Spoiler: Is no longer dead! (click to show/hide)

Name: Burt Burt
Physical Description: An animatronic Dandy Fox with an old money southern drawl.
Background: Needed a job and got one.
Class: Combat Engineer
Life: d4
Attack: d4 Personal Sidearm / d8 Close Sawn off Shotgun (d4 use die) with bayonet d4

Sight:
Smell: Nope can't do that.
Hearing:
Taste: Doesn't have one.
Touch: Probably doesn't really have that ether.

Stats:
 Strength: d4
 Dexterity: d4
 Speed: d4
 Endurance: d8
 Will: d4
 Knowledge: d4
 Fate: d4

Skills:
 Melee: d4
 Guns: d8
 Explosives: d4
 Implants: d4
 Mechanics: d8
 Technology: d6
 Medical: d4
 Occult: d4
 Speech: d4

Status: No longer dead.
Inventory:
 OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x5 Magazines (d4 use die)
 OMNITECH Tool kit (0 / 3)
 High visibility flares x4
 Mysterious remote control
 Box of protein bars
 First Aid kit (1)
 Fire extinguisher (d6 use)
 Harpoon
 OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack)
 Sawn off Shotgun (d8 Close)(d4 use die) Box of shells (d6 use die) with Bayonet d4
 Cold Steel "Battle Ready" katana (d6 use die)
 OMNITECH Passive Personal Shield Generator (d12 life, d4 use die)
 Glow sticks (D6 use die)
 Hand held video camera. with up link to OMNITECH server.
 A gun effectively identical to the containment turrets, d8 ammo and not reloadable
 Rocket Launcher (d12+3 ranged explosive)
 Flashlight
 Laptop
 Smartphone
 A small ball that has complex etched designs on the surface and smolders with yellow flames
 Knife
 Machete
 Rifle
 5 Handguns
Money:
 245 Omni
 6,000 Megabucks

Almost all communications are down or badly scrambled. The link to command is still active, but thats about the only one.

Any of bloBob's inventory survive? in particular, riot suit, spiderbot, tentacle, money ... Chevrolet?

Shlorp up into the EdPC and regurgitate Tara into a seat. Test my bio-mobility by giving the team a big, toothy grin.

Spoiler: The MOOKiest (click to show/hide)

Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)

Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d8
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d6
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious, grazed by bullet shot by EXC1
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit (has bullet hole in it), OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, Tranquilizer syringe, Sensory Deprivation Suit, Weaponized Plasma Cutter(d4 use die, rolls dex for damage), hypodermic spear(1d6 damage+injection effect), Negotiation Enhancer, Smiles Rifle (d6 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
Money: 47 OMNI

Spoiler: Team Mascot (click to show/hide)

Name: Blob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4 (or whatever the riot suit gives. D6?)
Attack: d4 (Bite)/d8 (tentacle: occult)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d8
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d8
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Gooey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Bob's body.
Omnitech Modified Riot Suit. Fit for an evolutionary relic.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges).
Box of 5 high visibility flares.

spiderbot (nuclear? cat ears attached)
Life d4
Attack: Needle gun [d4 ranged]
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

decorative hat
dwarf bobblehead
mini cape
tentacle
Money: 600

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

addressed human rights violations by attempting to dispose of substandard foodstock from contaminating the food supply.
flushed the toilet
depressurized butadiene and styrene-butadiene pressurized rotational ground contact devices
acquired sustenance
Established a beachhead in the yelllowzone along with Anya
fixed broken plane computer
Bob
Haiku
Ghost mystery solved, small snacks only
Mounted Upsetting Frog Logo^TM to EdPC
Stealthily reconnoitered scientist's office for sna ... secrets. And also snacks.
Drove (well, rode along in) a Chevrolet to a movie theater.
Built Chevrolet Movie Theater
The MOOKiest
No, really. We stuck our dicks in it this time. For Science
Fact (and apple) finding
Survived S.A.M. -9

The Chevrolet is smashed but your stuff is still inside.
[7]
You glop through as Baldwin opens the hatch, dropping Tara down inside and sloshing over to one corner. Your teeth, drifting loosely through the goo, align into a rough string that might be interpreted as a smile.

Exit the EdPC if possible and not harmful to allies, witness the status of SAM.  Then immediately get to freeing the EdPC if it's trapped, or there's obstacles around it, or anything of that sort.

By the by, do Wilfred's ghost powers allow him to sense anything here?  Try not to actually start summoning ghosts or anything.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: An exaggerated eight-foot tall linebacker-shaped machine constructed out of slabs of white metallo-ceramic armor, laid atop a barely visible metallic undercarriage.  Its legs are stumpy compared to its arms, with a bulbous body due to the double rocket jump pack embedded between its shoulders.
--The hardsuit's right arm has been torn off, and its right leg has been badly crushed... but both were repaired extremely skillfully by Burt.  Good Burt!

Inside, he's a plain robotic body.
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wil Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other six, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: 2d8 (Hardsuit)
Attack: 4d4 Acidthrower

Stats:
Str d10 (Hardsuit buff from d4)
Dex d4
Spd d4
End d4
Wil d4
Kno d4
Fte d4

Skills:

Mel d4
Gun d8
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d12
Med d4
Occ d12
Spc d4

Status: Pristine Robot Body inside a Hardsuit

Inventory:
Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

OMNITECH Neuron reconfiguration helmet (Allows the level of two skills to be switched. Overuse causes reduction of levels.)
---Used three times
OMNITECH Hardsuit (2d8 life, [sub=d8 max]d6[/sub] jumpjets)
---Can skim on smaller rockets
---Built in binocular view
Anomaly detection watch
OMNITECH Cognition Copier (equipped)
Hacked observation drone from Detroit

OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) (Three d4 magazines)
"Cold Comfort" - OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged attack) (Two d8 magazines, one empty magazine)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
2x Smiles Rifles (d6 ranged attack) and 5 magazines (all d6)
3x Smiles Grenades (d12 explosive)
1x Rocket Launcher (d12+3 ranged explosive)
Fragile Darkness artifact gun ()

Money: -853.  Owed to loan shark.

Spoiler: Accomplishments (click to show/hide)

--Scouted Smiles territory from the air
--Summoned a ghost rat which led him to an entrance into the tunnels under Smiles territory.
--Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' hospital intranet without getting any useful information... but, like, technically the Smiles are our enemy, so...
--...Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' entire hospital base with a ghost nuke.  Accidentally.  But, like, again.  Technically our enemy.
--......Aaaaaand then accidentally melted the guards guarding the scientist target, the other scientists, and the scientist we wanted to kidnap.  VERY TECHNICALLY THESE WERE ALL OUR ENEMIES.
--At least Wil grabbed the scientist's soul right after killing him?
--Accidentally summoned a fifteen-story skeleton kaiju in the middle of the Smiles base, probably fucking over everyone there who wasn't already fucked over.  Which... honestly, at this point, Wil should try to negotiate contracts with the corporations recording all this.
----Said skeleton kaiju then left to attack the military perimeter around Detroit.  Who really weren't our enemy, but I guess they are now.
------But he destroyed the skeleton kaiju!  So it's all good!
--Interrogated the ghost of the former institute scientist, gaining presumably valuable intel.
--Destroyed an evacuating Smiles van.
--Accidentally destroyed all the computers in an institute building we wanted to investigate.  Technically some of these were hostile computers controlling turrets, so it wasn't counterproductive in the end.  No, not counterproductive at all...
--Hacked into the flash storage drive that SAM found after Yagyu detonated, containing a ton of information about the central institute building.  Also figured out what said institute building was designed to do.
--Stole an artifact gun worth millions of megabucks from the Bizarre... I guess?  SAM provided the distraction.  And what a distraction it was!
--Guided in the nuke that hit SAM, accelerating its arrival by about 50%; thirty seconds rather than sixty.  Not that this seemed to really matter....

We'll assume you get out and see everything Baldwin sees.  As per ghosts...you can sense that there are a fucking ton of them around right now. Like...there's a fog of ghosts thick enough to block out the sun...if there was a visible sun right now.

[Radio Controlled]

"... I think I'm about ready to go home now guys."

Is EdPC awake? If not see if I can reboot him. If that doesn't work, get in the driver's seat and start driving out of here, towards the military base we entered from. Try not to attract the attention of Big Chungus over there.

Oh, and grab the late Akanorth's stuff I guess for later distribution.

That can wait, instead first assist Wil with his plan. Accept the key he gives me, and if the silverfish needs any repairs then help out with that. Then we drive off.

Spoiler: Yagyu d'Aubigny (click to show/hide)

mook map
Interactive map, courtesy of Paris

Name: Yagyu d'Aubigny
Physical Description: a ghost with no shell
Background: Yagyu hates OMNITECH. But Yagyu likes money.
Class: Hazardous Materials Reclamation Crew
Promotion: Team Captain (100 Omni Raise, Access to all team shock implants. Crushing responsibility.)

Life: d6
Attack: I WISH

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d10
Explosives: d4
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d8
Technology: d8
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4


Status: EXPLOOOSION

Inventory:
ERROR 401: INVENTORY NOT FOUND

Money: 15
8 omni loaned to Baldwin (heydude6).

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

((I expected EVA but got Nausicaa, I want my money back Piecewise))

[The Lupanian]

take Akanorth’s containment pods and collect up as much of the Aka-goo into the pods as possible.

Spoiler: Ji (click to show/hide)

Name: Ji Fuchikoma
Rank: Senior Security Expert
Physical Description:

A Short, Athletic, and Absolutely Stacked Girl, who has an uncanny resemblance to an anime character. She has pale freckled skin and, fiery red hair, and large emerald green eyes. She as a pair of fox ears and a fox tail.
She is a Waifu-Bot based on a player avatar from the Waifu Assassins Guild series.

Background:

Once known as Woldo, a gamer who replaced his physical body with an android based on his famous video game avatar.

Life: d10 Robobody
Attack: d6 rifle x3mags

d6 Generic Security Rifle
Anti-bio razor (2d6 against living/ 1d6 vs others)
2d6 Piledriver Carbine
d6+d8 Amplified Wand

Ammo:
Rifle (use d6)(3 magazines)
Piledriver Carbine (use d4)(6 magazines)
2 pistol mags (use d4)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d12
Will: d6
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d12
Guns: d12
Explosives: d4
Implants: d10
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4
Speech: d4

Inventory:
Amplified Wand (Bat)
Piledriver Carbine
OMNITECH electrical behavior modification implant
OMNITECH Omni-light
Anti-Bio Razor
OMNITECH Generic Security Baton (in LaF box with the claw)
Brain Backup
Experimental Gun
Lizard Claw (in LaF box with the baton)
Box of antique electronics
Box of antique mechanic bits
Box of airplane pins
Turret auto-cannon

Money:
502

[Egan_BW]

((Boss Fight! Boss Fight! Boss Fight!))

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

((Summon a kaiju already Sy, I didn't suicide SAM to get ducked out of a giant monster fight.))

[Egan_BW]

((Slice the fleshorror god in half with a giant ghost-beam!))

[Ozarck]

Am I still rolling will rolls? If so, return to Alligator. Else, go get my spiderbot, if someone lets me in and out of the EdPC.

Spoiler: The MOOKiest (click to show/hide)

Name:Tara
Physical Description: A 4 foot 6 in tall female human with pale skin, brunette hair, and blue eyes who weighs 110 pounds. She is 15 years old.
Background: She was Lucy's younger sister. She would watch Lyra perform her experiments until she went to OMNITECH. When she learned of the deaths of her sisters, she joined here hoping to make the place safer
Life: d4
Attack: OMNITECH Foam Gun d3 doesn't do damage. When successful it immobilizes the target.multiple guns stack. Foam tank: d8
OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1) Hammer (Lended, return to owner after door melt attempt)

Stats:
Strength: d6
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d6
Endurance: d6
Will: d8
Knowledge: d10
Fate: d6
Skills:
Melee: d6
Guns: d6
Explosives: d6
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d6
Technology: d6
Medical: d6
Occult: d6
Speech: d8
Status: Consious, grazed by bullet shot by EXC1
Inventory: OMNITECH isolation suit (has bullet hole in it), OMNITECH Foam Gun, OMNITECH sealing kit, OMNITECH environmental hazard detector, OMNITECH “Porcelain” Ceramic knife(d6, breaks on 1), Earplugs, Cognition Copier, Tranquilizer syringe, Sensory Deprivation Suit, Weaponized Plasma Cutter(d4 use die, rolls dex for damage), hypodermic spear(1d6 damage+injection effect), Negotiation Enhancer, Smiles Rifle (d6 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
Money: 47 OMNI

Spoiler: Team Mascot (click to show/hide)

Name: Blob the Biter
Physical Description: Your basic primal swamp dinosaur. With a yellow hard hat.
Background: Who knows? The Company discovered that he has a knack for fixing ... things, and he hasn't eaten anyone important enough to care about yet. Somehow, some joker from the sanitation department got him on the payroll. He was there for quite a while before the bureaucrats found out and moved him to the engineering payroll.

Life: d4 (or whatever the riot suit gives. D6?)
Attack: d4 (Bite)/d8 (tentacle: occult)

Stats:
Strength: d10
Dexterity: d6
Speed: d4
Endurance: d4
Will: d8
Knowledge: d4
Fate: d4

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d4
Implants: d8
Mechanics: d10
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d4


Status: Gooey
Inventory:OMNITECH Red Jumpsuit. Shredded bits of this are found in various points around Bob's body.
Omnitech Modified Riot Suit. Fit for an evolutionary relic.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die) strapped to the end of his tail 
OMNITECH Tool kit (3 charges).
Box of 5 high visibility flares.

spiderbot (nuclear? cat ears attached)
Life d4
Attack: Needle gun [d4 ranged]
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d8
Speed: d8
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

decorative hat
dwarf bobblehead
mini cape
tentacle
Money: 600

Spoiler: things Bob did this mission (click to show/hide)

addressed human rights violations by attempting to dispose of substandard foodstock from contaminating the food supply.
flushed the toilet
depressurized butadiene and styrene-butadiene pressurized rotational ground contact devices
acquired sustenance
Established a beachhead in the yelllowzone along with Anya
fixed broken plane computer
Bob
Haiku
Ghost mystery solved, small snacks only
Mounted Upsetting Frog Logo^TM to EdPC
Stealthily reconnoitered scientist's office for sna ... secrets. And also snacks.
Drove (well, rode along in) a Chevrolet to a movie theater.
Built Chevrolet Movie Theater
The MOOKiest
No, really. We stuck our dicks in it this time. For Science
Fact (and apple) finding
Survived S.A.M. -9

[Ozarck]

((I expected EVA but got Nausicaa, I want my money back Piecewise))

You got a cross between Akira and Attack on Titan, is what you got.

[heydude6]

((Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow, and insidious killer.))

Baldwin's jaw drops when he sees SAM still standing. He saw what the nuke did to the rest of the landscape so how is she so FINE?!

It wasn't a total loss though. It seems like everything he said about the flesh sea was right, and SAM was still quite damaged. But he had to admit there was only one person left who could stop her.

"... I think I'm about ready to go home now guys."

"I'm just about ready to as well..." He said with great pain.

"But I think it's his fight to finish"

His head had turned towards Wilfred’s hulking metal frame. He was more powerful than either than them, and he was the one to drop the nuke. So naturally it made sense to give him the final word.


Baldwin holds up inside the EDPC. He decides to use his own flesh-warping power to try to help Bob put himself back together.

"Let me help you with that."

Spoiler: Baldwin Reborn (click to show/hide)

Name: Robert Baldwin
Physical Description: A tall, pale, and thin man with green eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. You'd almost mistake him for a hippy if it weren't for how well-groomed he was. His hair has a shine to it that one could only get from the most expensive of shampoos and conditioner, while his complexion is flawless. No one knows where he gets his personal hygiene products from.

Also has blood wings and a blood halo now...

Background:  In a past life, Robert was a nature-loving hippy who abandoned his passion for cold-hard cash. Now a shameless capitalist, he thought up many money-making schemes as an occultist at OMMNI, but he encountered failure after failure before meeting his end within the SAM hivemind. Somehow he managed to make it back, but it's hard to gauge how much of his old personality is still intact.

Before even this, Robert had been a famous architect who distinguished himself with his avant garde designs. Life was good for the young upstart, until his preference for beauty over practicality caught up with him.

His biggest achievement, the Sierra Space Resort was a massive space station meant to house the wealthiest of space tourists. Modelled after a dance device from a bygone era, the station was a giant ball covered almost entirely in mirrors. It would reflect the light of a local star and spread it throughout the cosmos, broadcasting its brilliance to anyone in the solar system. This gave it the nickname the "Dazzle Star".

Though the clientele loved it, locals would get very pissed whenever the D-Star touched down in their corner of space. The reflected sunlight wreaked havoc on nearby planets, starting wildfires and even boiling oceans. Eventually enough people got mad and banded together to form a rebellion. The station was not designed to defend against such attacks and was quickly blown up, along with all the upper-classmen inside it.

Someone had to pay for that bloodshed, so Robert ended up facing the suit's wrath. As punishment he was cryogenically frozen for 200 years. Long enough to go out of style.

After serving his sentence, Baldwin applied for a job at OMNI, but the suits confused his unusual floorplans for diagrams of summoning circles. Robert was hired on the spot, but it was only during his second week of basic training did he realize that he may not have gotten the job he was looking for...

And you know the rest.

Life: d6 (reactive fabric cape)
Attack: d4 ranged (OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm)
d4 melee exploding occult (Ceremonial Dagger)

Stats:
Strength: d4
Dexterity: d4
Speed: d6
Endurance: d4
Will: d4
Knowledge: d6
Fate: d6

Skills:
Melee: d4
Guns: d4
Explosives: d8
Implants: d4
Mechanics: d4
Technology: d4
Medical: d4
Occult: d8
Speech: d4

Status: Mostly human again.

Inventory (it's somewhere on the floor embedded in the sludge):
OMNITECH Black Jumpsuit
     The standard OMNITECH jumpsuit. Covers everything but the head, hands, and feet. Stain resistant, waterproof, breathable, light, and overall comfortable as everyday wear. Offers no protection against anything more dangerous than a spilled cup of coffee.  Has the employee’s name stenciled on the back like a sports jersey.  This one is Black and has a smaller “OCCULT” stenciled across the right side of the chest, just under the collar bone.
OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) x3 Magazines (d4 use die)
     One of the “Generic” brand of OMNITECH weapons which are ubiquitous in OMNITECH installations. The Generic Personal Sidearm is a handgun as drawn by a 9 year old; A gray rectangle with a gray rectangle grip and a trigger that looks more like a light switch with a trigger guard that looks like an allen wrench. It is uncomfortable, unappealing, and very clearly designed by the lowest bidder, but can effectively put .45 slugs into targets.
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod x 4
    OMNITECH Containment pods resemble a clear tube held in between two large metal ends with long rods forming a cage and reinforcing structure around the tube.  One of the metal ends has an iris design to allow it to open and allow a sample in before clamping shut. Though the tubes look to be glass they are a multilayer reinforced acrylic that is remarkably strong and non-reactive.
OMNITECH Universal Containment Pod with Golden Mushroom and Aluminum
OMNITECH Null-Rod
    The Null-rod is a collapsible rod made of the same non-reactive acrylic as the inner lining of the containment pods. Used by Cultists for the investigative prodding and poking of things that look dangerous.
Ceremonial Dagger (d4, uses occult, die explodes and increases level each explosion)
    A prototype self defense weapon with an entangled connection to the Highly Evil, Logarithmically Lethal plane (H.E.L.L.). Has an over designed appearance to it with a human bone handle and a hooked, serrated blade, almost like a linoleum knife designed by someone who wants to make the linoleum suffer. It’s unknown if the design is somehow conducive to the entanglement or if it's just someone’s idea of a joke. Normally the knife functions like any other mundane instrument of murder, but occasionally it will manifest high levels of H.E.L.L. resonance, producing short lived demonic emissions on contact. Has no OMNITECH branding and never saw a commercial release as of yet due to concerns of cross dimensional bleedover and possession.

OMNITECH EMP grenade (d20 damage, only effects electronics. Single use)

OMNITECH Reactive fabric cape (1d6 life)

Gentleman's Pipe
    This isn't a pipe. This is a text-based description of a pipe. And also a pipe.
Octarine Tobacco
   An ancient plant from 200 years ago. Used to be all the rage among people with "alternative" lifestyles, but it fell out of style once corporations began selling it legally. Turns out that once the man was in on it, nobody wanted to buy it anymore. By now it would be extinct if it weren't for the single potted plant in Baldwin's room. In the end, Baldwin was a sellout.
Idea Tube
   An old treasure from a past life. Even back then everything was done in CAD, but Baldwin always wanted to stand out. He drew his designs by hand and would store them here for safe keeping along with spare paper and writing tools. This created a tempting prize for any aspiring paparazzi, which lead to him being frequently covered in various magazines. He owes his career to those guys.

Good OMNITECH fishing rod

Some guy's wallet

Some guy's crumpled piece of paper.

A prospector's watch
It's got sensors and shit that detects anomalies. Allegedly ceases to function deeper into the zone

Military grade Electronic Binoculars.
Useful for scouting

Money: -500 OMNI bucks, 147 Megabucks.

[syvarris]

Wilfred, after remaining silent for a few seconds watching SAM, suddenly thrusts a large metal fist victoriously into the air.

"Awww hell yeah, Sam!  I knew you were a cool chick dick thing, but I had no idea you had THAT in you!  Badass!"

He then climbs back into the EdPC, disembarking from his hardsuit almost as soon as he's inside.  He looks at Yagyu, and reaches up for the cognition copier mounted on his head, but hesitates.  After a moment he lowers his hands and instead grabs a keycard, the key to his personal chest of belongings back home.  He presses it into Yagyu's palm.

"If I come back, I'll have to have the ability to remember this.  There's no way in hell I'm gonna apotheosize and punch out the god of all flesh, and then go back to normal life not knowing what it felt like!  If my mind's unrecoverable, take care of Rolly Polly for me.  And fuck Derp up if you ever get the chance!"

With that, he unceremoniously begins pushing the Silverfish out of the APC, pausing only to give a quick nod to Baldwin.  "If anyone wants to fly me closer, and maybe keep the silverfish for yourself afterward, taking volunteers now.  Otherwise I'm gonna ram this thing right into Sam!  This time, I am the warhead!"

Discard all equipment besides the cognition copier, then take the Silverfish and fly towards SAM-9 at maximum velocity.  If someone else wants to pilot, and drop Wilfred off partway there, they can go right ahead EDIT: If someone else volunteers to be the pilot, Wilfred will fly halfway to SAM, then jump out and get ghosty, allowing the volunteer to try and fly back.  If nobody volunteers, he'll start getting ghosty without slowing down, aiming to crash into SAM with the force of an undead city.

Once dropped off, or after getting at least a mile of distance from the EdPC if he's piloting alone, begin drawing up the power of every last ghost possible.  They ought to be pretty pissed at SAM, really; Wilfred's just going to give everyone some nice unity and direction.  He doesn't have a huge amount of worry what form the ultimate summon takes.  The classic "big boner" would be fine, as long as it's got at least four arms this time, or we could do something cooler, like a whirling hekatonkheires hurricane of arms.  Or maybe a spider made of guns!  Manifesting a nice big cannon to blow off SAM's head and get her attention would be a great opening move.

Point is, make it big, make it killy, and make it have lots of disposable appendages.  Otherwise, ghost democracy, rather than flesh communism.

EDIT2: In the event that the silverfish is too damaged to fly, and can't be repaired... I guess just get out and start running towards SAM (without the hardsuit).  Get Ghosty once a decent distance from the EdPC, with more of a focus on gaining mobility to catch up to SAM.

Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Wilfred Seven
Physical Description: he's a plain robotic body.
Background: He was batch manufactured along with nine other Wil Wheaton clones, for use in some film that he's never heard of and was never involved with; only the three "best" clones were actually selected for use in the film, while the other seven--really, the other six, Wil Three survived less than a week--were sold to OMNITECH as cheap labor.  Somehow, OMNITECH decided to hire Seven, rather than just enslave him, although he's not really sure what the difference is.  Notably, Wilfred's flaw that disqualified him from being selected is that his mind is nothing like the famous actor, and he actually hates being compared to the man.
Class: Senior Xeno-Ambassador (+150 omni per mission)
Life: 1d4
Attack: ghosty

Stats:
Str d4
Dex d4
Spd d4
End d4
Wil d4
Kno d4
Fte d4

Skills:

Mel d4
Gun d8
Exp d4
Imp d4
Mec d4
Tec d12
Med d4
Occ d12
Spc d4

Status: Pristine Robot Body

Inventory:
OMNITECH Cognition Copier (equipped)

EVERYTHING ELSE HAS BEEN LEFT WITH YAGYU!

Cat-sized woodlouse named "Rolly-Polly" (Left at home)

OMNITECH Neuron reconfiguration helmet (Allows the level of two skills to be switched. Overuse causes reduction of levels.)
---Used three times
OMNITECH Hardsuit (2d8 life, [sub=d8 max]d6[/sub] jumpjets)
---Can skim on smaller rockets
---Built in binocular view
Anomaly detection watch
Hacked observation drone from Detroit

OMNITECH Generic Personal Sidearm (d4 ranged attack) (Three d4 magazines)
"Cold Comfort" - OMNITECH Generic Security Rifle (d6 ranged attack) (Two d8 magazines, one empty magazine)
Advanced Cleaning Apparatus (4d4 ranged attack) and 3 magazines (d6,d6,d6)
2x Smiles Rifles (d6 ranged attack) and 5 magazines (all d6)
3x Smiles Grenades (d12 explosive)
1x Rocket Launcher (d12+3 ranged explosive)
Fragile Darkness artifact gun ()

Money: -853.  Owed to loan shark.

Spoiler: Accomplishments (click to show/hide)

--Scouted Smiles territory from the air
--Summoned a ghost rat which led him to an entrance into the tunnels under Smiles territory.
--Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' hospital intranet without getting any useful information... but, like, technically the Smiles are our enemy, so...
--...Accidentally knocked out the Smiles' entire hospital base with a ghost nuke.  Accidentally.  But, like, again.  Technically our enemy.
--......Aaaaaand then accidentally melted the guards guarding the scientist target, the other scientists, and the scientist we wanted to kidnap.  VERY TECHNICALLY THESE WERE ALL OUR ENEMIES.
--At least Wil grabbed the scientist's soul right after killing him?
--Accidentally summoned a fifteen-story skeleton kaiju in the middle of the Smiles base, probably fucking over everyone there who wasn't already fucked over.  Which... honestly, at this point, Wil should try to negotiate contracts with the corporations recording all this.
----Said skeleton kaiju then left to attack the military perimeter around Detroit.  Who really weren't our enemy, but I guess they are now.
------But he destroyed the skeleton kaiju!  So it's all good!
--Interrogated the ghost of the former institute scientist, gaining presumably valuable intel.
--Destroyed an evacuating Smiles van.
--Accidentally destroyed all the computers in an institute building we wanted to investigate.  Technically some of these were hostile computers controlling turrets, so it wasn't counterproductive in the end.  No, not counterproductive at all...
--Hacked into the flash storage drive that SAM found after Yagyu detonated, containing a ton of information about the central institute building.  Also figured out what said institute building was designed to do.
--Stole an artifact gun worth millions of megabucks from the Bizarre... I guess?  SAM provided the distraction.  And what a distraction it was!
--Guided in the nuke that hit SAM, accelerating its arrival by about 50%; thirty seconds rather than sixty.  Not that this seemed to really matter beyond buffing SAM.