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Voting closed: December 23, 2018, 05:57:41 am


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Author Topic: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!  (Read 34467 times)

CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2018, 06:00:23 am »

SO, YOU SHOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT I ADDED A POLL TO THIS MOST BODACIOUS THREAD: DUSTAN HACHE HASN'T POSTED YET, SO I WENT FORWARD AND CREATED THE POLL!

BE PATIENT, I'LL POST TOMORROW, SINCE THAT'S ALSO WHEN THE VOTING WILL BE CONCLUDED!
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TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2018, 07:15:20 am »

THE MOMENTUM OF THE CHRISTMAS TRAIN MUST NEVER BE STOPPED!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2018, 07:58:50 am »

I'm just going to plop this sheet from your previous RTD here. Let's say the portals teleported me here.

Name: 0cra
Appearance: Typical early 21st century civilian. Has green eyes.
Gender: Male
Wounds: None, they were all healed in the epilogue of RTFC. At least for now.
Other: Has a M249 light machine gun with an underbarrel shotgun and flashlight.

For my action, I guess I'll just aim to kill 25 people so I can call in a nuke to blow up this RTD.


((SHEET IS NOT NEEDED, AND I'M NOT GONNA PUT IT ANYWHERE.))
THERE AREN'T MANY PEOPLE AROUND WHERE YOU ARE, SO YOU GO AND SHOOT UP A PHYSICAL VIDEO GAME STORE! (2 VS 1) YOU KILL A CASSIER AND TWO OR THREE SECURITY GUARDS, BUT YOU'VE WASTED A LOT OF AMMO DOING SO! (4) IT DIDN'T DO A LOT OF COLLATERAL DAMAGE! ALSO, AN ALARM IS RINGING!


......

.........WTF DID I JUST READ? AND WHY CAN'T I STOP LAUGHING? OH GOD THIS IS IT, I'M GOING TO DIE OF LAUGHTER AREN'T I...

ANYWAY! RESPAWN AS YOINK'S OTHER TIDDY!
MORPH INTO
MOOBERTMOOBIS THE MOGGY, ATTEMPT TO MATE WITH BOOBSY TO PRODUCE A HORRIFYING BAP-CATSPLOSION THAT WILL PLUNGE THE ENTIRETY OF FUCKSVILLE INTO INEVITABLE FPS DEATH! ALSO THEN FLEE FROM THE COPS!    

((I'VE ACTUALLY WANTED TO MAKE YOINK INTO A TRANSWOMAN JUST FOR LULZ, BUT SINCE YOINK SAID "MOOBIS", HE'S STILL A MAN!))

THE CROWD EITHER FAINTS OR TAKING PICTURES USING THEIR CELLPHONE CAMERAS, AS ANOTHER MOOB TEARS ITSELF FROM THE COLD BODY OF YOINK! (1) IT CAN'T SPEAK OR COMMUNICATE IN ANY WAY, SADLY, BUT IT (4) STICKS TO THE APARTMENT BLOCK'S WALL AND ENTERS YOINK'S APARTMENT, WHERE BOOBSY DWELLS! (1) BOOBSY CONSIDERS YOU A TERRITORIAL RIVAL AND IMMEDIATELY ATTACKS YOU! (4 VS 6) BOOBSY THE BOBCAT POUNCES AT YOU, BUT YOU PUSH HIM AWAY SO HARD THAT HE SPLATTERS ON A WALL! (4-1) THE CANCEROUS BREAST TISSUE REFORMS INTO A SMALL SQUAD OF EVEN SMALLER BOOBSIES! SUDDENLY, YOU BOTH HEAR HOW THE APARTMENT'S DOOR IS BEING BASHED WITH SOMETHING HEAVY...


ACTIVATE BECOMEGOD.EXE!
WAKING UP, YOU GO STRAIGHT FOR YOUR COMPUTER, DRESSED IN YOUR BANANA PILL PAJAMA! (1) THE COMPUTER has CAUGHT SOME RANSOMWARE FROM YOUR PORN SITE TRIP LAST NIGHT; ONCE BOOTED UP, THE COMPUTER SHOWCASES YOU SOME TEXT IN RUSSIAN, (5) BUT SINCE YOU'VE IMMIGRATED FROM RUSSIA ONLY TWO YEARS AGO, YOU STILL REMEMBER YOUR LANGUAGE PERFECTLY! THE TEXT SAYS, "YOUR COMPUTER GOT BLOCKED FOR HAVING BESTIALITY AND CHILD PORN ON IT; IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ARRESTED FOR POSSESSING BESTIALITY/CHILD PORN, SEND 150 RUBLES ON THIS CREDIT CARD NUMBER, *CREDIT CARD NUMBER*"


Go find one of those bobcat mascots and beat the shit out of it with a shovel.
(4) YOU FIND A SHOVEL THEN (4) ENTER 53TH SOUTH DISTRICT, WHERE THERE CURRENTLY IS A PANIC OVER A CORPSE THAT LOST IT'S MOOBS! (1) THE ENTRANCE TO THE APARTMENT BLOCK IS BLOCKED BY THE POLICE. ONE OF THE OFFICERS RUDELY SAYS TO YOU, "ANY TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT, DON'T STEP FORWARD ANYMORE," AND THEN THE POLICE OFFICERS HAVE THEIR LASER SIGHTS ON YOUR HEAD!


Pratice one punch a gazillion times!
(4) YOU ENTER TURBO BERSERK MODE, THEN YOU PRACTICE ONE-PUNCH TECHNIQUE! (4) (6) YOU'VE BECOME A SUPREME MASTER OF ONE-PUNCH TECHNIQUE AND INCREDIBLY SWOLE, BUT IT CAME AT A PRICE; YOU'RE FUCKING EXHAUSTED!


RESURRECT MY FALLEN PTERODACTYL BRETHREN FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE EARTH!
(4) HEARING YOUR PRIMAL SCREAM YOU'VE UNLEASHED, THE FOSSILS UNDER THE EARTH AND THE SKELETON RECONSTRUCTIONS BECOME ALIVE AND FLY TOWARDS YOU, WELCOMING YOU AS THEIR MASTER! HOWEVER, YOU SEE THAT THE BIRD .GIFS ARE GATHERING INTO A SWARM OF THEIR OWN, READY FOR AN ULTIMATE BATTLE! (4 VS 4) THE BATTLE IS A TIE; MANY BIRD .GIFS HAVE BEEN ERASED FROM THIS WORLD TODAY, BUT MANY PTERODACTYLS WERE ALSO LOST TO THE SAID EXPLODING BIRD .GIFS!


Awaken as a gingerbread man just in time to prevent myself from being eaten!
(1) YOU FAIL TO AWAKE, AND NOW YOU'VE BEEN EATEN! RESPAWN?


Go build a Beaver-Inator. It turns humanoids into beavers with beaver instincts.
(6) YOU'VE MANAGED TO BUILD THE THING, EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WEIRD RUSTY GEAR GRINDING NOISES THAT COME OUT FROM THE MACHINE!

NPC TURNS


THE CITY COUNCIL HAS DECLARED A MARTIAL LAW! THE MILITARY IS ON ITS WAY, AND IT'LL TAKE (4) TURNS DUE TO THE DISTANCE, BUT THE AIR FORCE WILL REACH THE POSITION IN TWO TURNS!


Quote from: THE POLICE
SMASH THE DOOR OPEN, THEN LOOK FOR THE BOOBSY!
RESPOND TO THE VIDEO GAME STORE'S ALARM TO SURROUND AND BLOCK ALL POSSIBLE EXITS!
(3 VS 4) THE DOOR IS A STURDY ONE, AND WHILE THE POLICE HAS MADE SOME PROGRESS, THE DOOR STILL DIDN'T GET SMASHED!
(3) A SMALL POLICE FORCE NOW SURROUNDS THE VIDEO GAME STORE, BUT THE RANKS ARE A BIT THIN!


Quote from: THE DEMONS
GNAW AND SCRATCH THROUGH THE NANITE-INFUSED CONCRETE!
(4 VS 2) THE DEMONS MAKE SOME SIZEABLE PROGRESS REGARDING GETTING OUTSIDE; THEY'VE ALMOST REACHED THE SURFACE!


Quote from: NMBAA SECURITY SYSTEMS
RELEASE ANTHRAX GAS INTO EACH FACILITY TO KILL THE DEMONS!
(1 VS 4) THE ANTHRAX GAS/DISEASE DOESN'T AFFECT THE DEMONS, UNFORTUNATELY!


ALSO, THERE ARE JOURNO HELICOPTERS FLYING AROUND THE CITY!


CITY POP: 2129648
DEAD: 208
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 10:17:03 am by CABL »
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Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2018, 08:06:35 am »

FURRY PORN IS NEITHER BESTIALITY OR CHILD PORN, IT'S A SCAM! HACK THE CREDIT CARD NUMBER INTO SUBMISSION!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

King Zultan

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2018, 08:10:03 am »

Get away from the cops, then go kill some mascots in a different area.
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but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Yoink

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2018, 08:18:49 am »

...IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY


SHED A TEAR AND MEOW APOLOGETICALLY AT THE BOOBSIES, THEN CLIMB OUT WINDOW AND ASSESS OPTIONS.
BOOB-CATS CAN FALL PRETTY FAR WITHOUT DYING, YES? LIKE NORMAL CAT? IF CAN SAFELY JUMP DOWN DO THAT, AS LONG AS THERE NO POLICE LINE WAITING DOWN THERE FOR ME

OTHERWISE, CLAMBER ONTO DRAINPIPE OR SOMETHING, CLIMB TOWARDS ROOF



((BOOBSY NO! YOU WERE THE ONLY MOOB I EVER LOVED. ;_;))   
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2018, 08:22:39 am »

((UM, BOOBSY DIDN'T DIE; HE DIVIDED HIMSELF INTO SMALLER BOOBSIES!))
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Yoink

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #22 on: December 23, 2018, 09:05:28 am »

((I NO EXPERT ON BOOB/BOBCAT PHYSIOLOGY! YOU MEAN HE CAN REFORM INTACT FROM SMALLER BOOBSIES?
WOULD MY CHARACTER KNOW THAT?!))   


EDIT: ((WELP, HOPEFULLY HE/THEY ESCAPE/S WITH ME. DISCORD COULD BE NIFTY, THOUGH I NORMALLY USE MOBILE AND DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE A SMARTPHONE))   
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 09:25:37 am by Yoink »
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #23 on: December 23, 2018, 09:21:14 am »

((NOPE, HE GOT SMEARED ON THE WALL, BUT BY HIS SHEER WILL, THE BREAST TISSUE MORPHED ITSELF INTO SMALLER, INDEPENDENT BOOBSIES. THERE ARE ACTUALLY SOMEWHERE AROUND FIVE OR SO TINY BOOBSIES CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND!))

((BTW, I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE A DISCORD SERVER JUST FOR OOC AND ABILITY TO ANSWER PLAYERS' QUESTIONS IN REAL TIME? ANYONE WANTS A LINK?))

DISCORD SERVER LINK (PERMANENT): https://discord.gg/6XK4ccE
« Last Edit: December 23, 2018, 09:35:14 am by CABL »
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Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #24 on: December 23, 2018, 11:28:16 am »

RECOVER MY STAMINA BY SACRIFICING MY HAIR! THEN LOO FOR THE DEMONS TO PUNCH, ONE PUNCH TO BE EXACT!
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TankKit

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2018, 11:42:57 am »

YES, KILL THE LOO DEMONS!
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Screech9791

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2018, 02:00:43 pm »

Kills until nuke: 21

>Shoot all the police with my M249 w/ an underbarrel shotgun, to rack up my killstreak until I get it to 25, at which point I call in a nuke.
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Doomblade187

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2018, 02:58:31 pm »

SEND MY PTERODACTYL ARMY IN A SURPRISE ATTACK ON THE NEST OF THE BIRD .GIFS.
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KitRougard

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2018, 04:02:48 pm »

THE POOR HACKING OF THE VIRUS GIVES IT SENTIENCE! IT LOOKS AROUND ON TANKKIT'S COMPUTER, ABSORBING ALL THE OTHER VIRUSES IT ENCOUNTERS! JESUS THAT'S A LOT OF VIRUSES AND FURRY PORN. THIS MAN HAS GOOD TASTE - THE VIRUS HAS DECIDED TO PROTECT TANKKIT'S COMPUTER RATHER THAN HOLD IT HOSTAGE!
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CABL

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Re: A CHRISTMAS MOVIE: A (COMPLETELY) MINIMALIST ARGH TIDDY!
« Reply #29 on: December 24, 2018, 05:52:56 am »

FURRY PORN IS NEITHER BESTIALITY OR CHILD PORN, IT'S A SCAM! HACK THE CREDIT CARD NUMBER INTO SUBMISSION!
THE POOR HACKING OF THE VIRUS GIVES IT SENTIENCE! IT LOOKS AROUND ON TANKKIT'S COMPUTER, ABSORBING ALL THE OTHER VIRUSES IT ENCOUNTERS! JESUS THAT'S A LOT OF VIRUSES AND FURRY PORN. THIS MAN HAS GOOD TASTE - THE VIRUS HAS DECIDED TO PROTECT TANKKIT'S COMPUTER RATHER THAN HOLD IT HOSTAGE!
(2 VS 4) YOU CAN'T HACK CREDIT CARD WITHOUT LOGGING INTO YOUR FENSTER OS, SO YOU TRY TO REMOVE THE RANSOMWARE BY BOOTING INTO A SAFE MODE! HOWEVER, THE RANSOMWARE IS STILL HERE, BUT WAIT; IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARS WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION! (6 VS 2) YOU LOG INTO FENSTER OS, OPEN YOUR HACKING TOOLS, INPUT THE CREDIT CARD NUMBER, THEN PRESS "TRANSFER *AMOUNT* TO YOUR CARD"! YOU STEAL 1250000 RUBLES, WHICH TRANSLATES TO 18101,25 USD!


Get away from the cops, then go kill some mascots in a different area.
YOU WALK THE FUCK AWAY AND TRY TO FIND BOBCAT MASCOTS SOMEWHERE ELSE! (1) YOU DELVE INTO SEWERS, WHERE YOU FIND (4) SOME HOBO BUBSY COSPLAYER! (1 VS 2) YOU TRY TO HIT HIM WITH YOUR SHOVEL, BUT HE NOTICES AND THEN TRIPS YOU, MAKING YOU FALL INTO FILTHY SEWER WATER! HE'S NOW RUNNING AWAY, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT!


...IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY


SHED A TEAR AND MEOW APOLOGETICALLY AT THE BOOBSIES, THEN CLIMB OUT WINDOW AND ASSESS OPTIONS.
BOOB-CATS CAN FALL PRETTY FAR WITHOUT DYING, YES? LIKE NORMAL CAT? IF CAN SAFELY JUMP DOWN DO THAT, AS LONG AS THERE NO POLICE LINE WAITING DOWN THERE FOR ME

OTHERWISE, CLAMBER ONTO DRAINPIPE OR SOMETHING, CLIMB TOWARDS ROOF



((BOOBSY NO! YOU WERE THE ONLY MOOB I EVER LOVED. ;_;))   


(3) BOOBSIES AGREE WITH YOUR ESCAPE PLAN, BUT THEY'VE NOTED THAT, "WE'RE NOT FRIENDS TO YOU," AND SO (5) YOU ALL JUMP DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT ANY INJURIES! (4 VS 5) THERE ARE POLICE OFFICERS DOWN HERE, THOUGH, AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE NOTICES YOU: THEY'RE REPORTING SUSPICIOUS MOVEMENT VIA THEIR WALKIES, AND THEY'RE SEARCHING THE AREA! (4 VS 3) YOU STILL HAVE MANAGED TO ESCAPE THE DISTRICT, AND NOW THE BOOBSIES WANT TO PART WAYS WITH YOU!


RECOVER MY STAMINA BY SACRIFICING MY HAIR! THEN LOO FOR THE DEMONS TO PUNCH, ONE PUNCH TO BE EXACT!
(4) YOU SHED ALL OF YOUR HAIR THAT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY, INCLUDING EYELASHES AND BROWS, BUT AT LEAST YOU'VE RECOVERED YOUR STAMINA! (5 VS 3) YOU DRIVE TOWARDS THE APPARENT LOCATION OF THE SECRET EXPERIMENT FACILITIES THAT NMBAA CORP OWNS, AND YOU GO DOWN AND PUNCH SOME DEMONS BY POUNDING THROUGH THE NANITE-INFUSED CONCRETE! EVEN THE BIGGEST DEMONS TURN INTO HUNKS OF EXPLODED FLESH WHEN YOU PUNCH THEM, SO THEY TACTICALLY RETREAT INTO THEIR REALM! (5 VS 1) YOU RESIST ANTHRAX FOG AND FOLLOW THE DEMONS INTO HELL, KILLING THEM ALL! NOW, YOU'RE STANDING AT A HUGE FLOATING PLATFORM OF DRY BRIMSTONE, SEEING A PATH OF FAR SMALLER FLOATING BRIMSTONE PLATFORMS LEADING TO ADAMANTINE ENTRANCE TO THE HELL PROPER! HOWEVER, THE INVASION IS CONTINUING IN THE OTHER FACILITIES, AND WHILE YOU'RE POWERFUL, YOU CAN'T BE EVERYWHERE! YOU GOTTA CHOOSE: ENTER THE HELL'S REALM OR GO TO THE OTHER FACILITIES AND KILL THE DEMONS THAT DWELL THERE.


Kills until nuke: 21


>Shoot all the police with my M249 w/ an underbarrel shotgun, to rack up my killstreak until I get it to 25, at which point I call in a nuke.
(3 VS 2) YOU GO OUTSIDE AND FILL SOME POLICEMEN WITH LEAD, KILLING TWO OF THEM! THE COUNTERATTACK, HOWEVER, PINS YOU DOWN TO YOUR COVER! YOU HEAR A DISTANCE WAILING OF POLICE SIRENS, MEANING THAT THE REINFORCEMENTS ARE COMING!


SEND MY PTERODACTYL ARMY IN A SURPRISE ATTACK ON THE NEST OF THE BIRD .GIFS.
(2 VS 6) THE PRETODACTYL ARMY CHARGES AT THE BIRD .GIFS, WHO ARE NOW SUDDENLY RETREATING! YOU THEN REALIZE IT'S A TRAP; ANOTHER SWARM OF BIRD .GIFS APPEARS AND BOMBS THE PTERODACTYL ARMY, (1) WITH YOU BEING TORN TO GIBS AND THE REMAINING PTERODACTYLS EITHER TURNING BACK TO FOSSILS OR SKELETONS! RESPAWN?

NPC TURNS:


AIR FORCE: ONE TURN
THE REST OF THE ARMY: THREE TURNS



Quote from: BIRDEMIC SWARM
BOMB SOME POLICE CARS AND NEWS HELICOPTERS!
(1 VS 5) (6 VS 6) THE POLICE SUDDENLY GETS SOME SUPER-AIMING SKILLS AND KILLS MOST OF THE BIRD .GIFS! A LOT OF NEWS HELICOPTERS GOT DESTROYED, BUT THE BIRDEMIC SWARM HAS WASTED AN ABSOLUTELY HUGE AMOUNT OF SOLDIERS!


Quote from: THE DEMONS
KEEP DESTROYING STUFF UPWARDS; WE'VE ALMOST ESCAPED!
SUMMON THE GATEKEEPER TO KEEP ONE-PUNCH MAN AWAY FROM THE HELL PROPER!
(4 VS 3) THE DEMONS HAVE FINALLY CRACKED OPEN THE FACILITIES, AND NOW THEY'RE POURING ON SURFACE! MEANWHILE, THE GATEKEEPER APPEARS BEFORE THE GATES OF HELL; A HUGE DEMON WITH A FACE OF A HUMAN, ELEPHANT TRUNK, COW HOOFS, BAT WINGS, ONE RED-COLORED EYE, AND MAGMA-RED SCALES! HE'S READY TO FACE ONE-PUNCH MAN WITH HIS PLASMA SCATTERGUN HAND!


Quote from: THE POLICE
KEEP BREAKING THE DOOR!
SEND REINFORCEMENTS TO SURROUND THE VIDEO GAME STORE!
(1 VS 3) WHILE THE REINFORCEMENTS HAVE ARRIVED, THE POLICE STILL CAN'T BREAK INTO THE PLACE OF A POTENTIAL MURDER!


Quote from: NMBAA'S SPECIAL SECRET OPS
QUICKLY DISPOSE OF THE DEMON HORDE BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT LEARNS ABOUT OUR FACILITIES!
(4 VS 5) THE SPECIAL SECRET OPS ARE MOWING DOWN IMPS AND PINKIES WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS AND PLASMA GUNS, BUT THE BIGGER DEMONS PUSH THEM BACK AND INFLICT SERIOUS CASUALTIES!

CITY POP: 2129609
DEAD: 243
Logged
Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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