FURRY PORN IS NEITHER BESTIALITY OR CHILD PORN, IT'S A SCAM! HACK THE CREDIT CARD NUMBER INTO SUBMISSION!
THE POOR HACKING OF THE VIRUS GIVES IT SENTIENCE! IT LOOKS AROUND ON TANKKIT'S COMPUTER, ABSORBING ALL THE OTHER VIRUSES IT ENCOUNTERS! JESUS THAT'S A LOT OF VIRUSES AND FURRY PORN. THIS MAN HAS GOOD TASTE - THE VIRUS HAS DECIDED TO PROTECT TANKKIT'S COMPUTER RATHER THAN HOLD IT HOSTAGE!
(2 VS 4) YOU CAN'T HACK CREDIT CARD WITHOUT LOGGING INTO YOUR FENSTER OS, SO YOU TRY TO REMOVE THE RANSOMWARE BY BOOTING INTO A SAFE MODE! HOWEVER, THE RANSOMWARE IS STILL HERE, BUT WAIT; IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARS WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION! (6 VS 2) YOU LOG INTO FENSTER OS, OPEN YOUR HACKING TOOLS, INPUT THE CREDIT CARD NUMBER, THEN PRESS "TRANSFER *AMOUNT* TO YOUR CARD"! YOU STEAL 1250000 RUBLES, WHICH TRANSLATES TO 18101,25 USD!
Get away from the cops, then go kill some mascots in a different area.
YOU WALK THE FUCK AWAY AND TRY TO FIND BOBCAT MASCOTS SOMEWHERE ELSE! (1) YOU DELVE INTO SEWERS, WHERE YOU FIND (4) SOME HOBO BUBSY COSPLAYER! (1 VS 2) YOU TRY TO HIT HIM WITH YOUR SHOVEL, BUT HE NOTICES AND THEN TRIPS YOU, MAKING YOU FALL INTO FILTHY SEWER WATER! HE'S NOW RUNNING AWAY, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT!
...IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY
SHED A TEAR AND MEOW APOLOGETICALLY AT THE BOOBSIES, THEN CLIMB OUT WINDOW AND ASSESS OPTIONS.
BOOB-CATS CAN FALL PRETTY FAR WITHOUT DYING, YES? LIKE NORMAL CAT? IF CAN SAFELY JUMP DOWN DO THAT, AS LONG AS THERE NO POLICE LINE WAITING DOWN THERE FOR ME
OTHERWISE, CLAMBER ONTO DRAINPIPE OR SOMETHING, CLIMB TOWARDS ROOF
((BOOBSY NO! YOU WERE THE ONLY MOOB I EVER LOVED. ;_;))
(3) BOOBSIES AGREE WITH YOUR ESCAPE PLAN, BUT THEY'VE NOTED THAT, "WE'RE NOT FRIENDS TO YOU," AND SO (5) YOU ALL JUMP DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT ANY INJURIES! (4 VS 5) THERE ARE POLICE OFFICERS DOWN HERE, THOUGH, AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE NOTICES YOU: THEY'RE REPORTING SUSPICIOUS MOVEMENT VIA THEIR WALKIES, AND THEY'RE SEARCHING THE AREA! (4 VS 3) YOU STILL HAVE MANAGED TO ESCAPE THE DISTRICT, AND NOW THE BOOBSIES WANT TO PART WAYS WITH YOU!
RECOVER MY STAMINA BY SACRIFICING MY HAIR! THEN LOO FOR THE DEMONS TO PUNCH, ONE PUNCH TO BE EXACT!
(4) YOU SHED ALL OF YOUR HAIR THAT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY, INCLUDING EYELASHES AND BROWS, BUT AT LEAST YOU'VE RECOVERED YOUR STAMINA! (5 VS 3) YOU DRIVE TOWARDS THE APPARENT LOCATION OF THE SECRET EXPERIMENT FACILITIES THAT NMBAA CORP OWNS, AND YOU GO DOWN AND PUNCH SOME DEMONS BY POUNDING THROUGH THE NANITE-INFUSED CONCRETE! EVEN THE BIGGEST DEMONS TURN INTO HUNKS OF EXPLODED FLESH WHEN YOU PUNCH THEM, SO THEY TACTICALLY RETREAT INTO THEIR REALM! (5 VS 1) YOU RESIST ANTHRAX FOG AND FOLLOW THE DEMONS INTO HELL, KILLING THEM ALL! NOW, YOU'RE STANDING AT A HUGE FLOATING PLATFORM OF DRY BRIMSTONE, SEEING A PATH OF FAR SMALLER FLOATING BRIMSTONE PLATFORMS LEADING TO ADAMANTINE ENTRANCE TO THE HELL PROPER! HOWEVER, THE INVASION IS CONTINUING IN THE OTHER FACILITIES, AND WHILE YOU'RE POWERFUL, YOU CAN'T BE EVERYWHERE! YOU GOTTA CHOOSE: ENTER THE HELL'S REALM OR GO TO THE OTHER FACILITIES AND KILL THE DEMONS THAT DWELL THERE.
Kills until nuke: 21
>Shoot all the police with my M249 w/ an underbarrel shotgun, to rack up my killstreak until I get it to 25, at which point I call in a nuke.
(3 VS 2) YOU GO OUTSIDE AND FILL SOME POLICEMEN WITH LEAD, KILLING TWO OF THEM! THE COUNTERATTACK, HOWEVER, PINS YOU DOWN TO YOUR COVER! YOU HEAR A DISTANCE WAILING OF POLICE SIRENS, MEANING THAT THE REINFORCEMENTS ARE COMING!
SEND MY PTERODACTYL ARMY IN A SURPRISE ATTACK ON THE NEST OF THE BIRD .GIFS.
(2 VS 6) THE PRETODACTYL ARMY CHARGES AT THE BIRD .GIFS, WHO ARE NOW SUDDENLY RETREATING! YOU THEN REALIZE IT'S A TRAP; ANOTHER SWARM OF BIRD .GIFS APPEARS AND BOMBS THE PTERODACTYL ARMY, (1) WITH YOU BEING TORN TO GIBS AND THE REMAINING PTERODACTYLS EITHER TURNING BACK TO FOSSILS OR SKELETONS! RESPAWN?
NPC TURNS:AIR FORCE: ONE TURN
THE REST OF THE ARMY: THREE TURNSBOMB SOME POLICE CARS AND NEWS HELICOPTERS!
(1 VS 5) (6 VS 6) THE POLICE SUDDENLY GETS SOME SUPER-AIMING SKILLS AND KILLS MOST OF THE BIRD .GIFS! A LOT OF NEWS HELICOPTERS GOT DESTROYED, BUT THE BIRDEMIC SWARM HAS WASTED AN ABSOLUTELY HUGE AMOUNT OF SOLDIERS!
KEEP DESTROYING STUFF UPWARDS; WE'VE ALMOST ESCAPED!
SUMMON THE GATEKEEPER TO KEEP ONE-PUNCH MAN AWAY FROM THE HELL PROPER!
(4 VS 3) THE DEMONS HAVE FINALLY CRACKED OPEN THE FACILITIES, AND NOW THEY'RE POURING ON SURFACE! MEANWHILE, THE GATEKEEPER APPEARS BEFORE THE GATES OF HELL; A HUGE DEMON WITH A FACE OF A HUMAN, ELEPHANT TRUNK, COW HOOFS, BAT WINGS, ONE RED-COLORED EYE, AND MAGMA-RED SCALES! HE'S READY TO FACE ONE-PUNCH MAN WITH HIS PLASMA SCATTERGUN HAND!
KEEP BREAKING THE DOOR!
SEND REINFORCEMENTS TO SURROUND THE VIDEO GAME STORE!
(1 VS 3) WHILE THE REINFORCEMENTS HAVE ARRIVED, THE POLICE STILL CAN'T BREAK INTO THE PLACE OF A POTENTIAL MURDER!
QUICKLY DISPOSE OF THE DEMON HORDE BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT LEARNS ABOUT OUR FACILITIES!
(4 VS 5) THE SPECIAL SECRET OPS ARE MOWING DOWN IMPS AND PINKIES WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS AND PLASMA GUNS, BUT THE BIGGER DEMONS PUSH THEM BACK AND INFLICT SERIOUS CASUALTIES!
CITY POP: 2129609
DEAD: 243