"Well well, say Zarel. You find yourself in quite a conundrum. Being invaded from one side and attacked from the other...Would you like any help? I can do anything for you, for a price of course.". The mass of thought and belief that is Enryu smiles as he offers Zarel a helpful Samaritan hand.
"Buuuut...You seem kinda poor on the D-power, hey Flexius? What would you say about a deal?"
While he waits for his offers to be accepted. Enryu will further meditate on the Great Narrative. This time focusing on roles, like the role of the Antagonist Force, a being or cause which drives the Plot forwards and usually presents a challenge to the Protagonist. And how he could manipulate them to his bidding.
[2] Enryu considers the meta-narrative but can make nothing of it.
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 8 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
80 war beasts and 40 Hearty Boys
Hectorclese scratches his head and grimaces, talking quietly to himself.
“Fuckin’ miles from anywhere, probably not a good thing... long journey back too, need something to do on the way...”
Carefully pilot the NeoKitchen onto the chaos fragment, preferably as far from any chaos beings populating it. Set up some defenses around the NeoKitchen for the rest of the plan.
Tether the NeoKitchen to the Chaos fragment, and then carefully set the NeoKitchen/Chaos fragment hybrid on a course toward Akahet, the mortal world, ‘cause victory is no fun if nobody actually witnesses it.
When this is done, send out some raiding parties over the course of the decade for some fun times for my Hearty Boys. Feast on the corpses of the fallen Chaos beings, commemorate any fallen Hearty Boys with feasts and massive, spectacular funeral pyres.
Once we arrive at the destination... I guess crash it onto Akahet because I want to make an entrance. In addition to the lower necessary to get myself and the NeoKitchen hybrid through the barrier, dedicate 1 power to this, ‘cause rolling a 2 seems less fatal than rolling a 1.
Whoop like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.
[1]
The Neokitchen successfully tethers the last remaining fragment of chaos but, in a show of perhaps exaggerated zeal, reels it in with unreasonable speed and force. The Neokitchen and the Fragment of chaos smash into each other at high speed and the resulting mass fuses together forming a new, if small, realm. The Realm of Chaotic Food, in which poptarts are considered sandwiches and people eat Hawaiian pizza crust end first. The Hearty Foodboys that rule it with an iron pasta fist hardly need to be introduced.
[5]
Hectorclese survives the crash and finds himself standing around rather confused in this new realm.
Name: Enal "The Heartless Mind"
God Level: Minor
Sphere: Knowledge, Logic
Power: 5
Description: A strange, shifting, humanoid form. He can't seem to settle on a "logical" form, but he likes the glasses - the one constant.
Notes: "The first one who points out the errors of the universe is a genius. All who follow are imitations."
read posts for mention of me listen, uh, can you reel me back in? I think I have a lock on your energy signature..."
Follow Anaconda's energy signature back home.
[4]
Enal manages to claw his way back into reality, albeit somewhat off from the target he was aiming towards.
((My bad, Will be a good, non-bold text boy now.))
((Also how many boys i get from my pits? If i still have the pits))
"THIS IS ANNOYING. I AM A GOD OF WAR, NOT TRAVELLING."
Continue trying to find the land with the monsters and such. Tell the perfect female to go "Do that weird thing you do with Ultra or whatever." Once she leaves, secretly ask around if anyone has any decent navigational skills. Maybe Virjiwerk?
((As for Kratos, well, almost everyone else has royally fucked up the universe. I thought I might throw my Divine Hat into the ring. Plus, I needed a 20th Hard Boy))
[4]
Through a fair amount of random luck and some helpful hints from a mechanical spider and some underlings, Borkle pilots the ship over to Akahet and takes up a low orbit around it.
"...Anaconda? I was wrong. It all went wrong. I have exactly 0 idea what dimension I'm in, and I'm sorry that I didn't read posts for mention of me listen, uh, can you reel me back in? I think I have a lock on your energy signature..."
"Okay, on one condition~"
Spend 1 power to help pull Enal back into reality.
Weave around the Entropy Points in the way and guide the Mechserpents and the Dreadnaught to the South-West edge of Akahet's energy barrier.
While they're traveling, start making fleshy recreations of the Feathered Serpents, just as many as the number of Mechserpent souls which would like a fleshy body.
Five of these bodies shall be large and strong beyond the limits of a normal Feathered Serpent. Five shall be swift and dexterous beyond the limits of a normal feathered Serpent. One shall be extremely well-attuned to Miracle magic. One shall be extremely well-attuned to Chaos magic.
Gather together the Mechserpents who want to gain flesh bodies and have them ritually sacrifice each other, disassembling their old bodies and transcending their to their new, fleshy bodies. Absorb the Power from the ritual sacrifice (my sphere is Machinery and Murder) and use it to guide their souls to their new vessels.
Assuming that the ritual works as planned, name the new-old race Bioserpants.
Suggest that as their armada now consists of both mechanical and biological citizens, the Mechserpents should devise a suitable new name for their civilization. Leave this up to them, though.
Bite a piece off of the non-trapped Star Kraken, and summon all the pieces of my original body and eat them as well. These materials shall form the basis of a future project, harnessing the power of Biology from the Star Kraken and the power of Machinery from my old mechanical body.
Also, nip off to Credst's world to admire the humans.
"Ooh, pretty little things. I like it. Though, I feel like something's missing... Say Lord Credst, would you mind if I made just the tiniest little change to your toys? I promise it's nothing destructive. Purely aesthetic, really."
(Having obtained Credst's approval) lightly modify the humans... Firstly, make their hair more exciting with spiky and curly bits, give some of them bright red or blue or green or gold or purple or pink or white colored hair. Secondly, give them a strong impulse to scream in battle, especially shouting the name of techniques or spells as they use them. This is a minor tactical disadvantage for style's sake, but it's balanced out by the ability to speak incredibly quickly, being able to shout whole monologues at each other in the span of a single leap. Thirdly, they shall be greatly susceptible to hilariously contrived social misunderstandings, especially as pertains to sexuality.
Name: Anaconda
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere: Machinery and Murder.
Description: The bright blue and brute serpent, which throttles its prey. An aura of floating cogs surround it, awkwardly.
Notes: Ensouled. Fleshy!
Through the expenditure of 1 power, Anaconda drags Enal from the distant place he ended up and into her growing caravan.
[6] In her attempt to create fleshy bodies for her followers, Anaconda makes a mistake. Instead of generating a bunch of fleshy bodies for individual souls, she creates a single body and places half the population of souls from the mechserpents into it. The soul-serpent goes immediately insane and begins rampaging towards the occupied sections of the universe.
[3] In Her final act this decade, Anaconda travels over and attempts to devour one of the Star Krakens but gets tentacle slapped out of it.
"Deal." Enryu said as he grinned.
Use 1 power to make Flexius rolll a 5. Then use the remaining power on my previou action
Only one action post is accepted, remember. Combine your posts next time. I also have no idea how much power you have because you didn't include your character sheet so...eh?
get them suckers organized. Turn them into a real fighting force, by training or discipline. If they obey me, get them to back off from the active offensive, but double down on defending our territory. Also try to get them to prioritize breeding. Consume the disobedient.
Name: (TAMI) the Thing with Aparent Moderate Intelligence.
God Level: demigod
Power: 3
Sphere: Biomass
Description: A shapeless mass of flesh with a few animal-ish forms.
Notes:
[4]
TAMI gets the majority of the monsters to give up their random fights with anything that wanders past and instead has them fall back on defense. They spend their time fiercely defending their territory which is a lot like the previous thing but more constrained.
I give the humans 3 decades before they're all dead or radically different from what they once were.
Absorb all the creative and destructive energies lying around throughout the universe.
"I'm curious as to what you plan, so sure, go ahead."
Name: Credst
God Level: Major
Power: 5
Sphere: Creation and Destruction
Description: A humanoid of swirling blue and red energy with barely indistinguishable features and a bright sun rotating on top of a crescent moon as a hat. He has 4 hands.
Notes: The sun and moon atop Credst's head represent creation and destruction.
Destructive Acts: 6
Creative Acts: 6
Credst's hat has no damage.
[5] Credst pulls energy from the universe. There isn't a lot floating around for some reason. (+4 power)
Name: Vurol
God Level: Major
Power: 7/20
Sphere : Slime
Description: A large blob of viscous matter swirling with shocking colours
This land, needs flavours and colours... Create rivers of a purple acidic slime and pools of a pink goo able to absorb souls on the Oozeworld
Vurol spreads rivers and lakes of acidic purple slime over the surface of Oozeworld.
Name: Attom
God Level: demigod
Power: 0 of 5
Description: A mass of thousand of arms holding different cooking instruments.
Uzina is the most powerful between us two so She/He/It is the new boss.
Convince food elementals to help me into tearing mecha-spiders apart to build a Armory/Temple in Uzina honor.
[1]
Attom attempts to get the food elementals to help in the creation of a new armory temple, but during his demonstration of how to properly handle mechaspiders, he gets completely swarmed and overwhelmed with them yet again.
Lilith's attention was drawn to the presence of a structure within her woods. She quickly moves to Dr. Bob's new house, and politely knocks on the door.
"Hello I thought I was alone in this forest hope I'm not messing with anything by living here, but there's no need to worry about what I'm doing its not that interesting."
Go gather items I can use to make a very basic chemistry lab.
Name: Dr. Bob
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with the head of a deer wearing a white lab coat.
Notes:
[1][4]
Dr. Bob's attempts to build a chemistry set go very well until he accidentally catches his cabin and the woods around it on fire. He luckily escapes the flames, for the moment at least.
Lilith nods thoughtfully then disappears for a moment, reappearing from the trees carrying her animal-like copy. She leaves it on the steps of Dr. Bob, then departs towards the barrier.
Lilith tightens the barrier's security to only allow things that she specifically grants permission to to enter. She also extends the barrier's protection to go underneath the surface, effectively forming a complete seal around the forest - just in case Akahet were to be assailed, and the forest Sanctuary would need to eject from the world.
Name: Lilith
God Level: Minor
Power: 6
Spheres: Life and Nature
Description: An entity born from the fertile flesh of Akahet's more hospitable areas, Lilith is a collection of plant matter that has molded itself into the shape of a humanoid.
[6] Lilith strengthens the barrier. Strengthens it too well, in fact. Nothing can get in or out now, including her.
Edited my action to account for the power necessary to actually get through the barrier around Akahet. How much is the power necessary to get through the barrier?
It's 3.
As for my action:
Due to the recent and incoming attacks from the sky, create caves for the mortals to take shelter in.
[6]
Ep creates many dozens or even hundreds of caves around the cities of the Theocracy. However, these caves lead directly into his galaxy spanning burrow, leading all who enter them to become lost within.
Eh. Light, entropy, close enough. Now, I see some killing going on. Let's join in on that.
Perform the ritual of Isekai to transport a human into Akahet while giving him/her some overpowered ability. Then go have whacky adventures with him/her, fighting against the bad guys and saving the world. FAKEEDIT: If a human is not available, an adorable spider would also be acceptable.
Name: Sucker, Demon of Entropy
God Level: Major
Power: 3
Sphere (If major or minor god): Death and Entropy
Description: A Skelton wearing a dark cloak.
Notes: Holds the Edge of Oblivion. A scythe with the power to kill gods and slay souls.
Has impressed some necromancers.
Can pull souls of the dead from the underworld.
[2]
Sucker tries to do some dumb weeb magic but fails.
The divine truth of Borkle will no longer be denied by mortals.
Spread worship of Borkle across population by unleashing APOCALYPTIC BOMBARDMENT upon any centres of religious worship, also this is the action getting automatic 5 from Enryu
Tamper with weapon systems to improve their bombardment and naval combat capabilities, start working on improving vengeful spirit by increasing its size and armour to be worthy of being messenger of my father's will
name : Flexius
Demigod
Power 0 ( 2 given to Enryu in exchange for his auto roll shenengians)
Description : Robed winged figure, robes are of dark green colour
Extras : chaos warship with parts of some mechanic horror looted from Anaconda , 30 hearty bois,
whatever much chaos gentlemen which originally joined me
Eh, I'll skip this since you're relying on unreliable aid.
Attempt to lead the good mortals and any refugees from the fortress cities to safety, away from the bombardment, monsters etc. Perhaps into Ep's multidimensional burrow, if the god allows it.
Name: Cawder
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: A wizened condor nomad with a scruffy air, whose eyes flash with multicoloured divine light - clearly a result of the great Manor's random boon-granting.
Notes: none.
[5]
Cawder finally gets the recognition he deserves, probably because the populace is willing to do a lot to reach safety. So he leads a large number of them into Ep's caves.
Name: Lizarkar
God Level: Demigod
Power: 5
Description: Some sort of strange lizardman with a large body and a crimson body. Appeared in the mortal realms jungles one day.
Notes: This section is for notes either about yourself or stuff I tell you to add to it. Used to keep track of various things
[6]
Lizarkar, apparently unaware of the state of the souls of the feathered serpents, uses a great blood ritual to summon them back to Akahet. Instead of getting a reborn race, he instead teleports the Mad Soul-Serpent straight down onto the planet. [6] The serpent, somehow ensnared by Lizarkar's will in combination with the ritual, comes under his direct command.
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental.
Aboard Attom's Food Cruiser, armed with a superweapon known as the Pressure Cooker.
"This... this is all very strange. If you need me, Lord Attom, I'll... be over here."
Užina, shaken by this unexpected power shift, retires to the familiar confines of the Pressure Cooker's control seat.
Meditate and ponder these strange developments whilst also keeping watch for any approaching threats that might need annihilating with my superweapon. Annihilation is good for soothing a troubled mind, after all.
I am pretty awesome. Maybe I should develop an ego beyond subservience to my creator? Could be fun.
I'll reserve 1 power with which to blast anything that comes within range of the cannon with hostile intent.
Uzina observes the world and considers things to blow up. There are lots of things here to blow up, and lots of things that deserve being blown up. That snake thing. Those cultists. Those fortresses. Space Krakens. All of them are good targets but he has to make a decision.
Route some of the energy siphons to space to murder Flexius's fleet, lead the other energy siphons to murder any interlopers in the underworld. Leave the mecha krakens alove if possible, and reach out to their souls and claim them.
Name: Manor
God Level: Major
Power: 2
Sphere (If major or minor god): Consciousness and Souls (the business of being sentient, including life and death)
Description: [The Observer]
[5]
Manor sends several energy siphons out into space to deal with Flexius' ship. That done he brings the rest into the Oozeworld and leaves them there as sentries.
[6]
Manor walks to the trapped Star Krakens and strikes them down, as they are soulless abominations.
Aboard the chaos ship of Flexius, then unapologetically stab him in the torso, hopefully piercing his vital organs.
Name: The Prowler
God Level: Demigod
Power: 1 out of 5
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with extremely thin limbs, elongated and thin torso, long neck, and a human-sized head of a three-eyed dragon with no pupils and white sclera. It's scales are black and shiny.
Notes: Chaos Energy Vorpal Pike, has an apparatus that allows moving around the Void.
[6]
[5v4]
The Prowler takes off from the oozeworld and strikes directly at Flexius and his ship. It smashes its way to the control room and engages Flexius in pitched combat. Their battle rages throughout the Vengeful Spirit and in the end the ship, also beset by Energy Siphons, goes down in flames and crashes into the ocean of Akahet.
The Prowler and Flexius are left outside, standing on the barrier, prevented from entering without paying the price.
NPC actions200 new hearty boys and 50 new war beasts are born.
[5] The Former Wizard murderrealm sees the fall of the Vengeful Spirit and quickly scavenges it, gaining access to all sorts of new technology and chaos magic. Huge numbers of Cyborg Necromancers rise.
[1] Lilith's forest burns down completely and the ash and heat are trapped within the bubble of the barrier. The entire place is reduced to a low oxygen hellscape.
[2] The good mortals eye the soul-serpent nervously.
[6] The blood cult grows rapidly since they have tamed a giant monster.
[1] The Energy Siphons begin to die out rapidly for some reason.
[2] The remaining star kraken just sort of hangs around
[6] The humans grow rapidly in number and begin to become civilized and technologically advanced.
[5] The Pleasure realm's numbers increase and the Hedonist boys settle in.
PowerNo power this turn.
Author
Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh (Read 121084 times)