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Author Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh  (Read 120818 times)

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #540 on: January 14, 2019, 04:58:15 pm »

He hasn't been active since his last post, be patient.

BORKLE HAS NOT TIME FOR PATIENCE
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Parisbre56

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #541 on: January 15, 2019, 02:58:02 am »

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #542 on: January 15, 2019, 03:29:34 pm »

Post coming tomorrow

Questorhank

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Vibrating and Penetration
« Reply #543 on: January 16, 2019, 12:37:59 pm »

Claim Haku’s portion of the world.

Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)
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Many people have gone missing or died.
I don't remember their names.

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #544 on: January 16, 2019, 03:00:05 pm »

Well, that sucks. For me and you Zarel, so before we die, I will do one thing.

Chop off all my tails and throw them as far as I can, but before that try to give life to them. As long as my empire doesn't end up being lead by one of my many many many bastards and weird offspring I will die a happy mutant. Even if I fail I'll at least have died trying.

Now that's done, I have one last murder to do.

KILL MY SELF VIA SPEAR TO THE BRAIN!
Do NOT allow Haku to kill themselves. Instead, reduce them to be a Mortal with the the ability to survive in the void, and send them to be Anaconda's Consort. Don't let any tails escape or survive.

As for my action, spend 1 power harvesting the moon of souls for power. Then aid Sucker in his campaign against the chaos nation with both my direct aid and my army of returned souls.


"Thank you both for your aid."

((@Angery, you do not have to keep playing Haku in my mind.))

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
((Sorry Haku, you lost so no weaseling out through suicide. Though his reduction to mortal means you can just leave him as an NPC and create a new demigod))

Manor strips Haku of his Demigodhood and banishes him to the void, straight into the arms of Anaconda.

Manor then attempts to harvest the moon only to realize it has already been harvested, and thus saves his energy. Regardless, he offers his aid to Sucker.

Spoiler: Attom (click to show/hide)


Take a page from Borkle book and use 1 power to punch the Malignant Red Hypergiant into stability.

Then kidnap mecha-spiders to build the oven of their metallic bodies (Limit myself to the mechaspiders the Crest created with the purpose of being kidnapped).

[6+1]
Attom punches the Malignant Red Hypergiant so hard  that it stabilizes the star. Unfortunately it also sends the star flying across the void in a lazy orbit.

Quote
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 7 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
100 war beasts and 50 Hearty Boys

Hectorclese nods to himself at a job well done.

Attempt to tame one of the Star Kraken, using 1 power
[4][2+1]
Hectorclese evades the Malignant Hypergiant, though only barely and with significant damage to the neokitchen and loss of life among his troops.  Regardless, he presses on to try and tame a Star Kraken. Sadly, the best he can do is get its attention.

I'm curious to see what the Slime God Machine does. Hopefully something that benefits me. Anyway, time to begin my ultimate project.

Create some Mechaspiders for Attom to 'kidnap' conveniently next to the Malignant Red Hypergiant. Then go far north and spend 6 power creating a massive super computer surrounded by 6 huge metal containers with very thick metal walls. This super computer will be called the Mech Lord and answer only to my commands, doing so at maximum safe efficiency.

"Borkle, any chance you would lend me 4 or 5 power? You seem to have a lot of it being wasted due to how much power you have, and I don't want some demigods in particular to take advantage of my weak state. I completely understand if you don't want to lend me the power, by the way."

[6][1][2]
Credst summons up a huge spherical hive of spiders around Attom, completely entombing the food god in clockwork arachnids. That done, he attempts to create some kind of massive super computer but instead his creative energy backfires and he creates the Cosmic Luddite, a great mass of animate stone which hates high technology and will attempt to destroy any that it finds.

Before Credst can do anything to amend the situation, the Malignant Red Hypergiant swings past and he is pulled inside and lost within the ultradense flows of molten gas.

Name: Borkle, He-who-punches-your-face
Sphere: Combat and Battle
Power: 20
Notes: TOO SWOLE TO CONTROL. 272 Hearty Boys, 18 Ard Boys

@Credst

“SORRY BRO. THAT AINT HOW I ROLL. IF SOMEONE TRIES TO FUCK WITH YAH ILL GLADLY PITCH IN, BUT YOU GOTTA DO YOUR OWN PROJECTS”

@Attom

“FUCK YEAH! BORKLE APPROVES”

@Flexius

“LAST CHANCE SON. I MUST RETURN MY OTHER DUTIES.”

Return to my ship, with or without Flexius. Fly over to where Aigre is floating towards the Star and catch him/her/it right before she burns up.

“YOUR DEATH IS NOT NOW, LIZARD. YOU HAVE CRIMES TO ANSWER FOR.”

[2]
Borkle pilots his Punchship over to Aigresaur and scoops the lizard thing from the void before it can fall into the Hypergiant. However, as though hungry for the god of Lust, the star races forward to consume them both. The Punchship is swallowed up by the star and battered horribly within the solar furnace. Over half the Hearty Boys and War Beasts die as the ship begins to crumble and melt.

((Here's the next guy since Haku's gonna die either by his hand or by Manor blowing him and the Western continent up, this one's a NEEEEERD! Well, more a philosopher/mage.))

Spoiler: Enryu (click to show/hide)

Meditate about what the hell is divinity and how it ties into how the universe it works. Everyone uses it but no one seems to know what it is.

Enryu appears on the very southern tip of the Eastern Continent. He sits down and considers the nature of divinity while watching the Malignant Red Hypergiant streak through the void.
[6]
Divinity, he realizes, is a badge of power given to fictional constructs who play out the actions of even greater beings in a world beyond this one. He too is a fictional being, reflection of something beyond.

I will serve you as son must serve, but I would need some worthy hearty bois to crew the vengeful spirit.

Follow up Borkles ship in Vengeful Spirit

    Spend 3 power on creating spiritual practices protecting soul of the one learning them from being sent to underworld , so hearty bois are not enslaved by foul death gods or necromancers upon death and can return to Borkle( spiritually ,without body though) . Spread the practices among hearty bois.



name : Flexius the twisted
Appearence : winged figure of heartyboi form hidden in black robes
stuff : vengeful spirit chaos voidship, 30 gifted by Borkle hearty bois, whatever mad chaos creatures I had before, parts and power of some evil cog thing looted from Anaconda
[6]
Flexius, right behind Borkle's ship when it gets consumed by the Malignant Red Hypergiant, manages to Pilot the Vengeful Spirit out of the way, though in doing so collides with the Underworld Barrier.
[2+2]
Flexius Twisted creates a sort of memetic trap; a bit of knowledge that, if known by a mortal, ensnares their soul upon death and traps it in their corpse.  However, Flexius forgets that the Hearty Boys, creations of Borkle and the Boypits, lack a soul to ensnare.

Spend 1 power on helping my monks help other mortals. Also, spend 1 power to build them a temple.

Spoiler: Ep (click to show/hide)
[4+1][6+1]
Ep helps his benevolent mortals spread through out the local area and they silently begin to help all they find, avoiding causing any trouble for themselves or others in the process. Legends of the Monks of Mouse Paw spread quietly among the weak and disenfranchised of the world. At the same time, Ep brings forth a great temple tower, a monolith of stone so grant it actually reaches to the edge of the mortal domain and forms a bridge, bypassing the barrier.

Coil around the gift that Manor is sending me and inspect it closely. Don't allow it to move and do not do anything permanent to it while I inspect it.

"Hello, prince. I am Anaconda. Do tell me about yourself."

Also take some time to tinker with those Mechaserpents. Start by renaming them to be Mechserpents. They're ensouled beings, right? Ask what it is that they want. If it's something reasonable and in my power, help them out with it.

Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
Anaconda coils around her new consort and asks him about himself. He says he desires to kill all living things or something equally edgy.  She mostly ignores him and slithers over to the Mechserpents.  She asks them what they want and they say they seek a way to escape from the meddling of divine beings. Makes sense considering how they died.  She considers this, unsure of how to grant the request or if she even can. Most of her power is focused in murder, which is rather the exact opposite of leaving someone alone.


Spoiler: Logic (click to show/hide)
Alright, Science Ship found... Call it Newton, actually. Newton found, local recruited for the ship's crew... Onwards to... Realize that Anaconda can change colors that was just a little hot wait no this isn't logical
DAMN YOU GOD FEELINGS!
Spend a solid 10 years gathering power by ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Chip in the last of my power for this.
"Must... Get... Stronger. Must... Interest... Anaconda!"
[2+1]
Enal struggles to gain power, however, even with a decade of work, he can only break even [+1 power]

Use 1 power: Get in that evil empire and do whatever it takes to make them submit to my and my necromancer pals' rule. Best them in combat. Eat their souls. Threaten them with a skele-ton of puns. Whatever it takes!

Claim Haku’s portion of the world.

Spoiler: Zarel (click to show/hide)

[1+1 v 5]

Sucker again attempts to  take over the Wizard Murderrealm but Zarel's Theocracy proves too great a force to deny.  Zarel claims the crown of Greatest Murderer, though what he will do with his new position as ruler of the civilized world, none can tell.

Lilith uses one power to establish a powerful magical connection between all the creatures within the Forest Barrier, allowing the races to communicate without a spoken tongue. With this increased level of communication and understanding between the races, she creates a political system resembling a republic, where representatives of each race appoint candidates to govern for the term of a decade. She also ensures that while the elected candidate has significant power over the united races, she still has the ability to take the reigns in periods of need. Should she succeed, she dubs her new faction the "United Republic".

Spoiler: Lilith (click to show/hide)
[1]
Lilith's attempts to unify the forest dwelling creatures backfire magnificently and instead causes rampant predation and inter-species conflict, creating a biological arms race that drives them to become huge, powerful, and monstrous
Thorn continues to spread its roots in the host. Still not sure which type of sentient being was attracted to it. A dodgy situation indeed. A total roll of the dice...one might day.

Spoiler: Thorn (click to show/hide)
.
[2]
Thorn is affixed to a small rabbit creature somewhere in the encapsulated forests of Lilith.

 
Keep killing chaos creatures, and make armor from their corpses.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[3]
Blarg continues to fight the remaining forces of chaos but is rather...ineffective at it this decade.

Spread the blood in the southern jungles, for HAKA hungers for followers. A cult, a blood cult it shalt be!
((character sheet please))
[4]
Lizarkar murders random creatures and passerbys in the jungle, screaming about blood and cults. He fails to get any members both because his doctrine is rather vague and second because he keeps murdering anything that gets close enough to ask what he's screaming about.

"I'll deal with you later..."

Spend the remaining one point of power to gain void-gliding abilities.

Spoiler: The Prowler (click to show/hide)
[4+1]
The Prowler builds a sort of personal solar sail and breathing apparatus from the remains of his ship. It should let him move through the void under his own power.

Go around, trying to convince the locals of the joys of giving. If it helps, tell them that they can randomly choose to give anything they want, so therefore giving can be wonderfully chaotic. They can also ask anything they want, and I will try to oblige them with my gift giving power. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[3] The giving boar attempts to influence the remaining chaos beings to be more giving. They mostly ignore him.

Since almighty Attom is busy with more important matters, I will supervise the kitchens and boost the production of food elementals.
I will also spend 3 power to cook up some superior arms and armour with which to equip as many of us as I can, making sure to inscribe the equipment with the holy sigils of the Food God, and record their methods of construction into the Holy Cookbook of Attom.   

Keep an eye (grain?) on the void, as always.
If any of the hedonist boy vessels come within range, I will jump at the chance to test out the Pressure Cooker, spending 1 power to open fire on them.   

If the malignant hypergiant should happen to explode or something, keep another 1 power on hand with which to outrun the blast.   
     


Quote from: Sheet
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 6 (gained 5 last turn)       
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental.
Aboard Attom's Food Cruiser, armed with a superweapon known as the Pressure Cooker.
[2+2]
Uzina Manages to transform half the Food Elementals into War Food Elementals via the application of personally forged arms and armor.

Spoiler: Vurol (click to show/hide)

"Interesting, another god is born, I remember it, it was a part of the mechanical devourer, welcome snake god"
"And TAMER GOD BOY, if you can TAME one of the STAR KRAKEN you can KEEP IT, MAY ITS HUNGER HELPS YOU, MAY YOU STAY WELL FED"

"The neverending lust of the hedonist boys could be useful, we just need to... evolve them..."

Takes one of the orgyship, grand the power of slimy reproduction to its inhabitants

"... Just one method is inefficient, they need to be better..."

Also grants them the power of reproducing through budding


[2]
As though channeling the actions of lost Aigresaur, Vurol attempts to grant the orgyships and their inhabitants increased powers of reproduction. Luckily his attempts fail.

Yeah, this isn't going to work. Got to get networking first, methinks.
Move to another city and take up architecture; try to make an (assumed) name for myself and pick up some rich and influential clients.

Perform the occasional charitable work for free in honour of Ep's teachings.


Spoiler: Cawder (click to show/hide)

[2]
Cawder spends several years in night school trying to become an architect but flunks out.





NPC ACTIONS
[3] The Spider Dreadnought moves to avoid the Hypergiant's future path of destruction.

[3] The wandering fragment of chaos slows and eventually comes to a stop with its remaining ships behind it.

[1] The stationary fragment of chaos is pulled into the Red Hypergiant's enormous gravity well and swallowed up. The Fragment, along with the Boarotaur, Blarg, and the Giving Boar, is destroyed.

[2] The Star Krakens begin to follow the Red Hypergiant, intent on feeding upon it.

[2] Borkle attempts to Fly his Punchship out of the star but it crumbles around him.  Vijiriwek, Ultra, Aigre, All the Hearty boys, The perfect female, and all the war beasts are destroyed, but Borkle remains.

[3] Credst manages to escape the Hypergiant, but loses his Spear and Staff in the process.

[1] The Energy Siphon beings lose numbers as the universal entropy level increases sharply with the death of so many gods.

[1] The Mechserpents begin to worship the Malignant Red Giant as the killer of the divine meddlers they so despise.

[1] Many die during the Murderrealm take over and the Theocracy, now without an ideological rival, becomes complacent and stagnant.

[3] The Mouse Paw Monks neither expand nor contract, remaining perfectly balanced.

[5] The slime god machine finally activates. [6,6,5,1,2] Attom's Divine power is torn from him by the God Machine, reducing him to nought but a demigod trapped in a hive of mechanical spiders. With the stolen power the Slime God Machine ascends to a level of power unseen and tears free from the confines of the Universe, vanishing.  They are nice enough to return Enal to his ship before doing so however.

[5] The Hedonist Boys and their orgyships cluster together and begin building a grand pleasure station.


Power:
Major Gods
Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face (LordPorkins) 0
Manor (Doomblade) 0
Sucker, Demon of Entropy (Paris) 0
Credst (Tankkit) 0

Minor
Ep (Enemy Post) 4
Anaconda (Egan) 1
Vurol (Ombragon) 0
Hectorclese (Hector13) 3
Enal (kitrougard) 0

Demi
The Prowler (CABL)
??? (Leodanny)
Baba Chik (Trinculoisdead)
Attom (Ziizo)








We've got a space in the Major gods and that will open one in the Minor gods too. So those of you who now have the greatest Power among the surviving demigods and the Minor gods, raise your hands and say how much power you have. if there's ties, It will come down to a roll.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #545 on: January 16, 2019, 03:09:36 pm »

Spoiler: Enryu (click to show/hide)

I'm not real? Oh well, c'est la vie. Enryu will try to learn how to manipulate the meta-narrative of this universe now that he's aware of the true meaning of life. Entertainment for unseen great eldritch shitposters.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2019, 04:12:51 pm by ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES »
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TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #546 on: January 16, 2019, 03:11:11 pm »

I spent power specifically to avoid bad stuff happening god damn it. What a waste of 6 power. How does power work, Piecewise?
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #547 on: January 16, 2019, 03:12:31 pm »

((Borkle should use all that power he was to bring back all the Hearty Boys that died Dragon Ball style.))
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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #548 on: January 16, 2019, 03:27:36 pm »

((I have 7 power at the moment. It looks like a tie between Hectorclese and Vurol, however.))
« Last Edit: January 16, 2019, 03:29:22 pm by Enemy post »
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Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #549 on: January 16, 2019, 03:35:39 pm »

Actually, I'll just accept that my project failed and, since my power was not actually used, keep my power at the appropriate level, for the sake of ease. Bit miffed, but I can always try again. First, however, Credst needs to vent a little bit.

Spend 1 power on punching the Malignant Red Hypergiant in the direction of Attom. Scratch that, Borkle's angry.

Spend Go far north-east and spend 6 power on creating the super computer I described previously, but only him this time so my power is less divided between different parts of the same project.


"Firstly, I am so glad I created those Slime Mechaspiders. Secondly, you are far too much of a threat to be allowed to live, you murderous, food obsessed, little shit. Borkle, do you want to help me with this? You're better at punching than me."

((I have 7 power at the moment. It looks like a tie between Hectorclese and Vurol, however.))
I believe the power at the end is how much power was gained.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2019, 03:20:04 am by TankKit »
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

ziizo

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #550 on: January 16, 2019, 03:42:43 pm »

Spoiler: Attom (click to show/hide)

"That was unexpected, funny but unexpected".

Attom isn't angry about losing his mayor godhood, he is mostly surprised that it took so long considering he stayed below five power for more than half a century. He could have been defeated by demigods but none took advantage of that

Tear Mechaspiders apart to build a spaceship.
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

sprinkled chariot

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #551 on: January 16, 2019, 03:46:58 pm »

Flexius

Meditate upon nature of chaos to understand, how it works and what is it.


Try to gain power with use of  gained knowledge without corrupting myself and heartyboi crew in process


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Egan_BW

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Re: Divine Fuckery: The Century Cometh.
« Reply #552 on: January 16, 2019, 03:53:17 pm »

"How about this, little serpents. If you worship me and swear off the red hypergiant as heresy, I'll protect you from the gods. If anything comes along to mess with you, I'll punch 'em."

Offer the mechserpants a deal where if they worship me and not the hypergiant, I'll protect them. If they refuse the deal, I'll just leave them alone.


"Now, where were we? Time for f̵͚̥̲̭͋̾̅̓̾͟u̵̩̰̼̟̼̳ͫͭ̀n̷͖̺̘̾̇͌̚͞, my pet!"

Teleport myself and Haku far out into the empty void where nothing will disturb us.
Spend 1 power to create a hard sphere of unbreakable, soul-impermeable material around us. Large enough for some maneuvering inside. Not so unbreakable that I can't break it, of course. I'm no fool.

Now, properly secured, grasp Haku and spend 1 power to vigorously f̪̖̟̰ͣ̆͊̌ͨ͝ų̷̬̰̼̺̻̜͎̟̌͆͂͑̃̑͞c̡̹̥͈̩͐ͬ͐̾͘͡k̵̴͓͈͍͔̱̟ͭͫ͞ him for 10 years stright.

Make sure he doesn't die permanently, transform both him and myself into various forms regularly to keep things interesting, and make sure to involve his favorite things.

FYI, even if he dies his soul can't escape the sphere so I can just stick him in a new body.


Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #553 on: January 16, 2019, 04:05:26 pm »

Being omniscient has its uses. And it’s drawbacks
Today, today was a drawback.

Borkle saw Mr Virgiwerk frantically scrambling to repair the ship, even as his metallic body became redder and redder.

He saw Ultra shield his lover and child even as the flames rushed through the bulkhead, comforting them in their last moments.

He saw the confusion in Flexius’s eyes, as his father who saved him led him into death

Even as the flames entered the bridge, and his Hard boys stoically accepted their ends, he saw this.

And above all, he heard the cruel laughter of the star, it’s basic, simple maelevolence taunting him as it consumed all he had wrought.

And then, when the fires reached him, he opened his eyes, blazing red with power, and said a word

”NO”

Spend 5 power to destroy this monstrosity. 5 more to punch reality to bring it back. Bring it ALL back
All the demigods
All the mortals
All the ships
All the land


« Last Edit: January 16, 2019, 04:12:14 pm by LordPorkins »
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
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Kar Pum-Sisha

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Re: Divine Fuckery: Atheism
« Reply #554 on: January 16, 2019, 04:07:38 pm »

Muahahaha!

Thorn rejoices in the realization of the wicked form it that now plays its' host puppet. Two large sharp calcified structures to rend with. A warm fluffy brown insulated body. With foot steps so soft and quite, death creeps unmolested in the twig strewn forest.

Thorn nibbles berries while brooding over its' terrible plans.

Spoiler: Thorn (click to show/hide)
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He who knows he has enough is rich. -Lao Tzu
Whenever you've got to make a hard decision, don't become somebody that you don't respect. -Dr. John
Power doesn't corrupt, power reveals. -Robert Caro
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