Name : Flexius the twisted
Power : 3
Stuff : chaos warship with parts of worldeating thing looted from Anaconda
As my life force was abandoning me, when my father Borkle forsaken me, the whispers of chaos suddenly revealed me the only thing, THE TRUTH, and all I seek since my rebirth is only to spread it
Create 8 slabs of eightfold path for each great race : mechaspiders, slimes, hearty bois.
Use dark teachings of chaos, all my 3 power and try to tap into energy of massive chaotic slaughter in mortal realms to launch eightfold path slabs to hearty bois realm, mechaspiders and slimes
Let the galaxy burn
power = 0 after this
((In the future, still post an action here even if its just "Secret action". Otherwise there is a good chance I might forget. I get lots of PMs these days and I am prone to forgetting or overlooking things.))
[2] Perhaps due to the loss of the realm of chaos, perhaps due to personal problems, Flexius cannot manage to make any slabs of chaos. As such he doesn't use up any power trying to send them anywhere.
ZAREL! Your people say you're a god, but tell me, why do you still allow that idiot Manor to still live and meddle with your worshippers? Claiming credit for what you do? I propose a temporary alliance, with our powers united we can destroy that idiot god! Then, and only then, we can kill each other and prove once and for all I, Haku, am the strongest being on Akahet!
If Zarel accepts my offer, strike against Manor alongside him. As it was proven with my battle with Sucker, our fighting experience and combined might will let us triumph over Manor's raw power.
If not, then kill Manor myself!
I'm tired of your meddling idiot god!
Name: Haku of the Eight-Tails
God Level: Demigod
Power: 5
Description: A strange and grotesque hybrid with a shit-eating grin
Notes: The son born of a White Tiger Giant father and Feathered Serpent Mother, mutated and given immense power and size (Bigger than the average White Tiger by a significant margin) by the latent divine energies of AKAHET. Its voice has finally deepened, looks like he passed through his puberty emo-phase of kill everything.
"Unfortunately, Haku, I must put my people first."
Assist Haku in defeating Manor.
Name: Zarel, Godscorched
God Level: Demi
Power: 5
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A Tiger Giant with an exoskeleton made of Obsidian. Heat and a faint red glow radiate from its joints.
Notes:
Haku has 10 total, assuming I didn't miss anyone. Manor uses 6 and +4 and +5 from secret benefactors. Manor wins the power struggle. As a more powerful entity than the loser, he basically has the ability to do whatever he wants to the losing god. I'll let you decide Doomblade.
Name: Attom
God Level: Mayor
Power: 4 of 20
Sphere (If major or minor god): Food
Description: A mass of thousand of arms holding different cooking instruments.
Build the Oven of Attom a giant oven that will use the fully grow malignant star as fuel.
[3] Attom attempts to assemble an oven around the Malignant star to use it as "fuel" for his continued cookery, but cannot get beyond a framework of bread.
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 5 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
100 war beasts and 50 Hearty Boys
Hectorclese looks disappointed.
“I guess that curry was always destined to become gas at some point anyways... I’m sure it wouldn’t have been that good.”
It notices the Malignant Star
Pick a chaos shard that is currently unmolested by fellow deific beings, eliminate all life on it with my war beasties and Hearty Boys, feast on the remnants of organic matter, then tow the shard and throw it into the Malignant Star, because why not.
[5]
Hectorclese pilots his voidship to the nearest Fragment of Chaos and immediately exterminates any remnants of the forces of chaos upon it. He then chains the fragment to his ship and drags it into the Malignant star, tossing the swirling plasmatic chaos into the boiling point of evil. The Star immediately swells and grows in size.
Those who tamper with death without my permission shall serve destruction or feel it come for them.
Condense myself to mortal size. Make my appearance emaciated and skeletal. Wear an old dark cloak to hide most of my appearance.
Use 1 power: Use my mastery over death and the scythe Edge of Oblivion to impress and teach or even bully the necromancers to make them my followers.
Use 1 power: Attack Haku and the evil realm with the support of my necromancer army. Take advantage of the 'might makes right' nature of government to become the leader. Anyone that opposes me shall have their soul reaped by the Edge of Oblivion.
Name: Sucker, Demon of Entropy
God Level: Major
Power: 7
Sphere (If major or minor god): Death and Entropy
Description: An Energy Siphon-like Demon of Entropy
Notes: Holds the Edge of Oblivion. A scythe with the power to kill gods and slay souls.
Sucker changes his Appearance into a much more attractive skeletal visage.
[3+1] Sucker appears before the Necromancers of Haku's Murderrealm and through his appearance and his weapon manages to gain great standing among them, though it doesn't quite rise to the level of worship.
[1+1 v 5] Sucker, using his newfound status in the Necromancer society, attempts to lead a coup against Haku. Despite being embattled against another god, Haku effortlessly crushes the rebellion and expels Sucker from his realm by force.
Burrow into the dungeon and free Cawder.
Then, start my cult in the Good Mortal's settlement. I'll call it the Mouse's Paw. The focus of my religion will be quietly helping others, preferably in secret and without publicly taking credit. Reward my followers with good luck for doing so.
Name:Ep.
God level:Minor
Power:1
Sphere:The Weak.
Description:A little brown mouse with an upward-pointing crescent on his forehead.
Notes:Lives in an infinite subspace burrow.
[5][6]
Ep absconds with Cawder and sets himself up as the lead of a cult of extreme altruism in the southern half of the eastern continent. The members of the Mouse Paw cult believe in a sort of death of ego and self abasement through extreme service to others as a method of attaining enlightenment.
Lilith observed the sudden unification of the East and West Akahet as a threat to the life of the planet in its entirety. Abandoning its initial plan to spread life all over the planet, it decided to simply make a sanctuary to preserve whatever life it could during the calamity that would surely soon unfold. With this in mind, it roamed the already existing forests and jungles of the Northwestern areas of Akahet, carving glyphs into every tree it could find, then activating all of those glyphs to create a magical barrier that would be passable for free to organisms that meant no harm to those within, but would cost power for all other passers. In its travels, it redirects all organisms it finds to within the area the barrier will protect.
Name: Lilith
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Sphere: None
Description: An entity born from the fertile flesh of Akahet's more hospitable areas, Lilith is a collection of plant matter that has molded itself into the shape of a humanoid.
[6]
Through concerted efforts over the span of a decade, Lilith manages to create a barrier around basically the entire fertile northern section of the Western Continent. The Barrier was penetrable only to creatures lacking the dangerous sapience of the mortal races; only animals might pass through.
((Remind me again what happens if you gain more power than your maximum. Can you use it immediately to avoid losing it, or is it irrevocably wasted?))
Gonna say that you can use it immediately, but if not its lost.
That was one hell of a one sided slaughter, sheesh.
Use 1 power to throw my spear of destruction at the Malignant Star and retrieve it afterwards.
"So, Borkle, how do you want your mech spiders?"
Name: Credst
God Level: Major
Power: 8
Sphere: Creation and Destruction
Description: A humanoid of swirling blue and red energy with indistinguishable features and a bright sun rotating on top of a crescent moon as a hat. He has 4 hands, with the top left and top right holding the Spear of Destruction and Staff of Creation respectively.
Notes: The sun and moon atop Credst's head represent creation and destruction. The Spear of Destruction is a spear of pure sunfire and destruction. The Staff of Creation is a twisting pillar of silver and light.
Destructive Acts: 5
Creative Acts: 4
Credst's hat has a slight fracture.
Credst currently has the Spear of Destruction.
Credst currently has the Staff of Creation.
[4+1]
Credst throws his spear into the Malignant Red Hypergiant but if it has any effect one way or another, he can't tell.
Use my weapon to kill some of the chaos creatures, use one power to help with the killing.
Name: Blarg
God Level: Demigod
Power: 4
Description: Looks like a man with a zebra head.
Notes: legendary weapon "Supper's End" It is a baseball bat.
[3+1]
Blarg rampages around one of the remaining fragments of chaos, battering demons upside the head.
"Many thanks, brave mouse. Your kindness will not be forgotten."
Try to escape the dungeons, with Ep's help. Then head to a different one of Zarel's cities for Spreading the Word Part II; try doing it in secrecy this time.
Name: Cawder
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: A wizened condor nomad with a scruffy air, whose eyes flash with multicoloured divine light - clearly a result of the great Manor's random boon-granting.
Notes: Currently imprisoned by Zarel, and rather miffed about it.
[3]
Cawder doesn't get picked up by the thought police this time, but he also doesn't really change many minds or make much of an impact.
Try to get to the Chaos Shard with the Boartuar on it. See if I can get some of the spiders to take me there, offering gifts in return. If I succeed, walk the world looking for my lost son. Help strangers and spread the joy of giving along the way. If I find my son, apologize and ask him for forgiveness. Then try to set him on the right path, so that we can spread the joy of giving as father and son.
Name: the Giving Boar
God Level: Demi
Power: 2
Description: A massive Boar
Notes: The Giving Boar can attempt to fulfill requests for gifts. It is up to the Giving Boar whether or not the person asking is worthy or not. The Giving Boar gives gifts by coughing things up from his mouth.
[5]
The Giving Boar steals an escape pod and flies to the Fragment of Chaos where the Boarotaur is currently hanging out.
[2]
However his attempts to reconcile with his son are thwarted by the Boarotaur's general desire to just keep causing chaos.
That was one hell of a one sided slaughter, sheesh.
((No kidding. Methinks Chaos made too many enemies too fast. Speaking of which...))
Name: Borkle
Power: over 9000 20
Sphere: Conflict and Battle
Notes: TOO SWOLE TO CONTROL
Forces: 186 Hearty Boys, 18 Hard Boys, 400 Semi-tame warbeasts
@Credst
”LATER BRO. I GOT SOME PERSONNAL BUISNESS TO ATTEND TOO”
(Edited)
Get everyone back on the PunchShip and set out. Appear with a cadre of thirty Hearty Boys on the bridge of Flexius Twisted’s ship.
Borkle returns to his mighty punchship and flies it over to the flagship of Flexius Twisted.
Spend 1 power to conjure an anti-matter rocket that has Flexius' voidship as the target.
Surf the rocket, then hop off from it when it has almost reached the destination.
Name: The Prowler
God Level: Demigod
Power: 1
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with extremely thin limbs, elongated and thin torso, long neck, and a human-sized head of a three-eyed dragon with no pupils and white sclera. It's scales are black and shiny.
Notes: Chaos Energy Vorpal Pike
[1+1]
The Prowler rather impotently throws bits of debris from the surface of the barrier up at Flexius' ship.
"Oh, this power makes me feel fabulous! Not I know what that reptilian felt. Thissss is always what I was meant to be, yesssss.
Think I'll go cuddle something to death."
With this power I transcend my mortal clockwork, and am reborn as what I always was; the Anaconda.
Spend 1 power to surround myself with an aura of floating cogs, attuned to the Omniphage and weaponizable.
Leave the Dreadnaut behind, telling the mechspiders that once they have retrieved my body they will be free do as they wish.
Spend 1 power to teleport to Flexius Twisted's ship, and more specifically to my head. Integrate it into my godly form.
Spend 3 power to throttle Flexius Twisted to death.
Nevermind. I'll stay out of this for now.
Name: Anaconda
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere: Machinery and Murder.
Description: The sneaky and brute serpent, which throttles its prey. An aura of floating cogs surround it, praying to the Omniphage for the strength to destroy heretics.
Notes: Ensouled. Empowered by PURE DESTRUCTION.
Anaconda, seemingly unnoticed, wrests the great mantle of power away from Aigresaur and ascends to Minor Godhood. She reforms her body to her own liking with her new power.
Since I seem to be at a reasonably safe distance from the malignant star everyone is recklessly chucking shit into, let's just drift through the void for now and focus on finally outfitting the Food Cruiser with those crockpot cannons and/or other food-themed items of Void artillery that I've been planning to build for decades.
Devote 1 power to the construction of said weaponry. Once that's done I will devote myself to prayer in the refectory, cooking up some devotional dishes in praise of Attom (possibly using as ingredients any lingering debris from the recent battles in this part of the void) and humbly asking Him to bestow His blessing upon these weapons I have built with which to defend and further His interests.
Be ready to test out our new firepower on any creepy hedonist boys or their ilk that might approach.
If (and only if) our artillery fails to repel any such personal space invasions, I will spend another 1 power to violently repel those sleazebags before they can corrupt my beloved food elementals. Pretty sure nobody wants to know what would arise from such an occurrence. Unless crumpets were invo-- no! Nobody wants that. Never.
Keep an eye out for any dangerous/explosive reactions that may result from the things being thrown at the malignant star. If the Food Cruiser appears to be in danger I will attempt to pilot it the hell outta there. If no attacks by voidborne sexcults have soaked up my last 1 power, I'll spend it to boost my piloting skills.
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 2
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental
[6+1]
Uzina spends an entire decade outfitting the Food Cruiser with a massive, spine mounted weapon of absurd destructive power he names the "Pressure Cooker".
Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: Should be 6, but max is 5, wat do?
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -
Spend 3 power to produce a mighty heir, beautiful yet PUNCH, charismatic yet MORE PUNCH. See if he's any better at breeding chaos warbeasts than I am.
[3+2]
Through a great deal of carnal effort, Ultra manages to create the Perfect Son. He is strong, beautiful, charismatic, and most importantly, PUNCH. [4] He seems to have the ability to breed chaos beasts pretty well, adding 50 to your ranks.
Name: Enal "The Heartless Mind"
God Level: Minor
Sphere: Knowledge, Logic
Power: 2
Description: A strange, shifting, humanoid form. He can't seem to settle on a "logical" form, but he likes the glasses - the one constant.
Notes: "The first one who points out the errors of the universe is a genius. All who follow are imitations."
[4+1] With the help of the Mechaslimes, Enal is shown back to his science vessel.
With the departure of Anaconda, the search spiders are left with nothing to do and disassemble themselves.
Baba Chik drifts quietly through the void.
One Fragment of Chaos continues to drift off into the void. The other is devoured by a Star Kraken, leading to the birth of a third Star Kraken. The third and former center of the chaos realm stays in place.
The Spider Dreadnought goes quiet, drifting and apparently derelict.
Aigresaur, now not but a demigod, drifts through the void, slowly tumbling towards the new Malignant Red Hypergiant.
The mechaspider armada finishes harvesting the screaming moon. The souls of the Feathered Serpents integrate with the mechanical bodies of the spiders and eventually take them over, forming the Mechaserpents.
The Energy Siphons feed upon the souls of the dead and increase in number.
The Slime God Machine spends a decade warming up.
The Nebula of Hate is almost completely absorbed by the Malignant Red Hypergiant and the huge star becomes unstable, with a thick coating of nebula gases swirling around it at high speed.
Both the Murderrealm and the Theocracy remain mostly insular, aside from a few skirmishes, mostly due to their leaders being distracted by divine combat.
86 Hearty Boys are born on the Punch Ship.
The orgyships begin to bunch up, though it might be more by accident than anything else.
The last remaining Chaos Voidships follow the mobile fragment of Chaos off into the void.
The Food Elementals grow in number.
POWER:
Hectorclese 2
Sucker 2
EP 4
Lilith 5
Blarg 2
Uzina 5
Ultra 2
Author
Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh (Read 120551 times)