Spend 3 more power to enter the realm of the mortals. Empower one member of each species (a singular horde for the zooplankton) with a leader's soul with dreams of glory. Take advantage of the fact that all who look upon me see themselves, and encourage the inhabitants of this realm to rise and make their [Patron God] proud. Upon the death of a subject, reap their soul and bring them to my side. Should Haku kill the white tiger leader, publicly imprison him in the sky.
"Rise, children of the earth. Rise, and make me proud."
Name: Manor
God Level: Major
Power: 8
Sphere (If major or minor god): Consciousness and Souls (the business of being sentient, including life and death)
Description: [The Observer]
Manor expends three power in order to enter the realm of mortals.
[1]
He moves between each of the great races of the mortal world and with great theatrics tears the souls and life from the bodies of their leaders.
"BEHOLD AND TREMBLE, I AM THE GOD OF ALL SOULS AND I HAVE COME TO REAP THAT WHICH IS MINE! KNOW ALL YE THAT WHEN DEATH COMES YOU SHALL RETURN TO ME. DESPAIR OF YOUR SHORT AND MEANINGLESS LIVES BEFORE YOUR RETURN."...No...I need not to rule, for I am Haku of the Nine Tails...The screams of terror of my kin as I slaughter them...will be enough of a reward...
Haku changed it's mind, it will kill the White Tiger leader, and then massacre as many White Tigers as it can before escaping to the land of the Feathered Serpents, where it will look for its mother.
Name: Haku of the Nine Tails
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: A strange and grotesque hybrid with a shit-eating grin
Notes: The son born of a White Tiger Giant father and Feathered Serpent Mother, mutated and given immense power and size (Bigger than the average White Tiger by a significant margin) by the latent divine energies of AKAHET. Its voice sounds like the sinister whispering of a child...
[1]
Haku attempts to rise up and slaughter the warrior king of the White Tigers and his advising council, but the king overpowers him and imprisons Haku by chaining him to a mountain top.
The Zooplankton Hordes are my favorite sentients. Also, I finally have my maze!
Tunnel through the fabric of the universe to enter the relevant voidship and help Anaconda take it over.
If I succeed, I say the following.
"You seemed like you were in a bit of trouble! I don't like bullies, so I didn't want to let Chaos enslave you like that."
Ep then sneaks off again into his impossible tunnels.
If Anaconda frees herself before I get there, go help repair the Kitchen.
Name:Ep.
God level:Minor
Power:3
Sphere:The Weak.
Description:A little brown mouse with an upward-pointing crescent on his forehead.
Notes:Eek!
*Edited my action in response to Egan's.
"May the Heart of Antipathy consume your souls."
This is my body now. Take control of the voidship and brutally eviscerate the chaos spawn inhabiting me. Then ram into the other voidship and consume it as well.
Name: Anaconda
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: An apparently female humanoid clockwork creature. Somewhat taller and heavier than clockwork men. Her face is a blank bronze plate and she has six arms ending in sharp steel claws.
Notes: Ensouled. Voidship core.
[6]
Anaconda, buried deep in the mechanisms of the Voidship, allows her hateful soul to spread out into the rest of the ship, expanding her consciousness beyond her body and into the rest of the vessel. As soon as she has command of it, she turns the vessel hard and drives it straight into the voidship nearest her, shattering both into countless splinters of metal and chaotic matter. She survives the impact but is reduced to nothing but a head in the process and goes drifting out into the void once more.
Ep, seeing whats happened, uses his spacetime tunnels to collect Anaconda's head and carries it with him to The Kitchen. [5] There he helps the Food elementals rebuild their destroyed kingdom and even pieces together a new body for Anaconda, mostly out of bone, gristle, and little plastic cocktail swords.
Really, no power for creating something dedicated to creation? Huh. How does gaining power work? Ninja'd before I even posted. Also, good job Hectorclese, going from demigod to major god so fast. I applaud you, good sir. Oof, nevermind. Wait, no, I'm dumb. Or tired. Probably tired. God damn it, nevermind again, turns out some different math was wrong. Congratulations me? May your newfound power allow for even greater battles! Now for some more Mechaspiders. Don't worry, I won't make too many, just one every now and then if I see an opportunity. Also, I suggest a list of all the dead gods.
Create a Second Mechaspider Armada, but with a difference. This one will be created in the Great Slime Belt a spread across the entire belt. Along with the programing of the First Mechaspider Armada, they will be tasked with maintaining and protecting the Great Slime Belt, along with the slimes that live inside it. They will be neutral to the First Mechaspider Armada and anyone I give permission to enter the Great Slime Belt.
"Thank you for not taking my spear, Manor. Now, I have an idea..."
Name: Credst
God Level: Minor
Power: 6
Sphere: Creation and Destruction
Description: A humanoid with indistinguishable features and a bright sun resting upon a crescent moon as a hat.
Notes: The sun and moon atop Credst's head represent creation and destruction. The sun represents the burning fire of creation and the inspiration to create, yet it can also represent the endlessly burning fire of destruction. Meanwhile, the moon represents the careful and intricate planning that can go into creating something, and the cold fury and planning that can destroy far more or far less than simple rampaging destruction. The sun resting on top the moon represents the fact that, without planning, there would be no time for the burning fires of creation and destruction. Of course, this may only be what everyone else believes the hat symbolizes, as Credst has never bothered to explain what the hat actually means beyond 'Creation and Destruction.'
Destructive Acts: 2
Creative Acts: 1
Credst's hat has a small crack in it.
[5]
Credst drifts through the Slime belt, seeding it with smaller hives of mechaspiders tasked with maintaining and protecting their new gooey home.
Name: Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face
Power: 16
Sphere: Beating the snot out of things. AKA Combat and Battle
Manifest before my Boys
“MY SONS. THESE ARE DARK TIMES. BUT I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. YOU ARE STRONGEST, TOUGHEST OF MY CREATIONS. YOU SHALL BE THE LEADERS OF MY ARMY’S. THEY SHALL BE MY FINEST WARRIORS, AND THEY SHALL KNOW NO FEAR. AND YOU SHALL LEAD THEM, IN MY
NAME.”
Spend 1 Power to create More Hearty Boys our of the existing Boys. Each shall lead a legion of 100, and thise One Hundred shall be derived from themselves.
Edit for more Dramatic Speech: “HECTORCLESE. YOU HAVE MADE ME PROUD. TOGETHER, ME AND YOU SHALL HELP RAISE ALL THE BOYS TO BE LIKE US. FOR NOW, I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. AID ME IN THE CREATION OF THESE LEGIONS, THESE 18 ARMIES.”
[3+1]
Borkle summons more Hearty Boys from the dust of the area, though their numbers are far fewer than he anticipated. +19 Hearty Boys
(Fun fact, I rolled 2d100 for the number you summoned and got 19. Them Hearty boys must be hard to make.)
Name: Attom
God Level: Mayor
Power: 9 of 20
Sphere (If major or minor god): Food
Description: A mass of thousand of arms holding different cooking instruments.
spend 3 power to bring Uzina back to life.
Spend 3 power to create Attom's garden in the left of his kitchen.
In this garden a great number of delicious plants and animals are born and grown either to feed the elementals or become ones if they prove themselves worthy.
[4+2][1+2]
Attom consumes 10 of his food elementals and uses them as raw materials in the rebirth of Uzina. However, Uzina comes out all the stronger for it, returning to life filled with power.
Attom's attempts to create a garden connected to his kitchen are less effective, and produce only a small amount of extra food with which the elementals might replenish their numbers (-10 elementals, +6 elementals)
Name: Enal "The Heart-Less Boy"
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A not-very-hearty Hearty Boy with no muscles, handmade glasses, and an odd presence - He was physically weak, but there was something unsettling behind his eyes...
Notes: None.
Hey! I have 3 power currently! That puts me above Baba and Blarg! I should be a minor god now, even if I kinda AFK'd last round!
AH yes, I forgot to factor in the power gifted by Ep. I'll adjust the Pantheon.
Sorry baba.
I also have three power, you derpy skeleton!
Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -
Begin crafting a mighty muscleboat to sail the void and bring our glorious punches to new kitchens.
(Well dang it, another person I overlooked. I think I might just put it to the player base to figure out who is top from now on)
[3]
Ultra attempts to fashion a voidship with ordinary arena materials and copious amounts of punching, just as his creator did. However, the result is a bunch of rocks with fist prints in them.
Name: the Giving Boar
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A massive Boar
Notes: The Giving Boar can attempt to fulfill requests for gifts. It is up to the Giving Boar whether or not the person asking is worthy or not. The Giving Boar gives gifts by coughing things up from his mouth.
Be in the arena.
Tell the Hearty Boys that they may ask for gifts, if they promise to be genourous and merry.
Try to organize the most merry Heart Boys into a devout inner circle, dedicated to spreading cheer and generosity.
Build a big hut and await visitors.
[4]
The Giving Boar appears in the arena, born from some left over food elemental carcasses. It quickly builds a small hut with the same material in a corner of the arena and begins advertising its wish granting and gift giving services. The hearty boys notice it and are friendly enough with it, a few even get into the holiday mood, but they are mostly focused on their desire to conquer the universe with punching and buff brotherhood.
Indivita transforms into an octahedron, before zipping into the new mortal realm of Akahet. It pays the necessary toll, but tries to get away with paying one less power by going through pretty quickly. Once within the mortal realm, Indivita does not slow and instead slams through the ground until it encounters a large cavern. There, it expends one extra energy to give birth to a race of asexual energy beings that grow as they absorb energy until they reproduce by binary fission. These energy beings exist as spheres until they grow enough, at which point they unfold to become humanoid. Indivita, not one for creativity, simply makes them "beings".
Name: Indivita
God Level: Major
Power: 12
Sphere: Life and Energy
Description: A small, metallic bowl that floats around.
Notes:
Indivita pays 3 power to enter the Mortal realm, inadvertently dragging Slime with it.
[6+1]
Indivita hits Akahet like a meteorite traveling at relativistic speeds, piercing straight down to the crystal bedrock of the world, blasting a large chunk of the mortal realm to ash, boiling the seas, and leaving an eternally molten crater. From this destruction, it births a race of energy beings in its image: they resemble quicksilver and when grown to their humanoid final form are enormous in size. They devour energy, eating heat and life and leaving nothing but freezing entropy behind.
Name: Enal "The Heartless Mind"
God Level: Minor
Sphere: Knowledge, Logic
Power: 3
Description: A strange, shifting, humanoid form. He can't seem to settle on a "logical" form, but he likes the glasses - the one constant.
Notes: "The first one who points out the errors of the universe is a genius. All who follow are imitations."
*Suddenly, 100-ish little hims showed up, punched out of him by Borkle*
Well, there you go.
"My children, we must leave this place of violence. We have a universe to research and understand!"
And thus, he set out to build a ship for his Acolytes to pile into and find a new home.
(Remember to bold your actions)
[4]
Enal constructs a voidship for the Hearty Boy legions. Its blunt, brutal, and perfectly alike the creatures destined to ride it. It is also smaller than it should be; able to hold maybe 25 Hearty Boys at best.
Name: Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face
Power: 16
Sphere: Beating the snot out of things. AKA Combat and Battle
Manifest before my Boys
“MY SONS. THESE ARE DARK TIMES. BUT I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. YOU ARE STRONGEST, TOUGHEST OF MY CREATIONS. YOU SHALL BE THE LEADERS OF MY ARMY’S. THEY SHALL BE MY FINEST WARRIORS, AND THEY SHALL KNOW NO FEAR. AND YOU SHALL LEAD THEM, IN MY
NAME.”
Spend 1 Power to create More Hearty Boys our of the existing Boys. Each shall lead a legion of 100, and thise One Hundred shall be derived from themselves.
Edit for more Dramatic Speech: “HECTORCLESE. YOU HAVE MADE ME PROUD. TOGETHER, ME AND YOU SHALL HELP RAISE ALL THE BOYS TO BE LIKE US. FOR NOW, I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. AID ME IN THE CREATION OF THESE LEGIONS, THESE 18 ARMIES.”
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Major
Power: 3 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
Hectorclese ponders for a moment.
“These 18 fought through the muck and blood- well, actually, I guess it was more grease and sauce, given the quarry,” he lets out a chuckle. “anyway, they are the strongest. I will give you my aid, and make their thirst for victory and hunger for feasting nigh unquenchable!”
Aid Borkle in his efforts to bring the Hearty Boys glory!
“They’re going to need something to carry them around, though. They should each have a sublime space vessel, so they can find victory wherever they please. The victorys’ll mount up if we let ‘em do that!”
Use 1 power to create a sublime space-faring vessel for each Hearty Boy legate, I s’pose subject to Borkle’s agreement.
((Would like to be very pedantic and say a legion would be upwards of 3,000, though 
))
[6+1]
Hectorclese sees the insubstantial offerings of Enal and decides that the best ship for the hearty boys would be the arena itself. He spends a decade transforming Borkle's Space Arena into Borkle's Grand Punchship; a void traveling Capital Arenaship capable of bringing the fight to anyone or anything in the universe. It also looks like a giant spiked gauntlet.
Send my perfect female being to inspire lust in the boyz. Inspire them to settle down, cuddle each other and have families. Lead by example.
If I need to spend power to juice up the perfect lusty female, do so.
Name: Aigresaur
God Level: Minor
Power: 6
Sphere: Lust and Passion
Description: A half nymph, half-lizard that just wants to snuggle.
Notes: Has a great big wet tongue.
[4+1]
Aigresaur spends 1 power and infuses the hold of the perfect female being with life. That done, he travels to the Punchship and releases his creation among them. [2] However, despite his prodding and the repeated demonstrations he gives, it seems the hearty boys are either entirely focused on their other actions or are....rather shy.
Name: The Prowler
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with extremely thin limbs, elongated and thin torso, long neck, and a human-sized head of a three-eyed dragon with no pupils and white sclera. It's scales are black and shiny.
Notes:
((Wait a minute; am I in the mortal realm right now?))
If I'm in the mortal realm, succ the energy off the mundane beings.
If I'm in the SPEHSS, create a voidship for me and head towards the Realm of Chaos to succ off the chaos energy.
[6]
The Prowler spends the entirety of the decade creating a ship for himself. It is a grand and lavish thing, equipped with every amenity but it takes the entire length of the turn to craft.
Spend one power to build one of those voidships, then go to space.
Name: Blarg
God Level: Demigod
Power: 2
Description: Looks like a man with a zebra head.
Notes: legendary weapon "Supper's End" It is a baseball bat.
[4+1]
Blarg crafts a voidship worthy of a demigod and immediately rockets out into the void, on a random path of exploration.
Name: Vurol
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere : Slime
Description: A large blob of viscous matter swirling with shocking colours
I use 3 power to sow life across the Great life belt, creating many surreal cosmic gelatinous life form, and three species bound to the three great planetoids :
Cylindrical yellow slimes on Glop
Small, cube shaped multicolored slimes able to pile up to create great slimey structures on Goo
Large but rare, flying tentacled spotted slime around Gunk
[5+2]
Vurol calls power back along the belt and breathes life into the slime. Not only do all kinds of different slime creatures arise upon the slime planetoids, but the planetoids themselves and even the scattered globules gain life. The entire slime belt becomes a huge band of living slime, slime living on slime living on slime like a nesting doll of gooey life.
If I am revived as Užina, do this: ...strut about amongst my comrades as an inspiring reminder of His [Attom's] awesome power and benevolence.
Then help shape the food elementals into an even greater fighting force than they were, organising training and the forging of weapons/armour suited to our deliciously strange forms. I'm thinkin' baguette bludgeons, spaghetti spears, corn cuirasses with pumpkin pauldrons... maybe even some zucchini zweihanders for heavy troops or an extra-spicy capsicum catapultcannon with which to bombard the Hearty Boys as they advancewhatever foes we might come across on our travels through the void.
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental
Dead and eaten
If Užina tragically cannot live again, please refer to the following backup character+action because I guess I'd better not waste another decade being dead.
Name: K'tarzha
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A tall, robust, harsh-featured feathered serpent with hooded, pupil-less eyes of bright yellow, whose limbs seem not only incredibly long but to have an extra joint in them. Her skin is bright magneta and her plumage varying shades ranging from crimson to scarlet.
Notes:
First action: ruthlessly seize control of whatever feathered serpent tribe I am born into. Lead my fellows into a more powerful future, building our first settlement and shaping whatever local resources we have access to into an imposing palace for myself.
((Gain 5 power))
[1]
Uzina returns to life but finds little in the way of a welcome for him. Though once a hero to his kind, his rebirth from the bodies of their kin fills them with contempt for the once Baron of the Bakery Hells, despite his grand power.
Ride Indivita to the mortal realm.
Try to learn how to feed from her continuous vibrations and energy to grow larger and procreate.
Name: Slime
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A gelatinous space slime.
Notes: Created by Vurol ((Ombragon))
A very thin sheet wrapped around Indivita
[1] Slime rides Indivita through the barrier but is obliterated when the god impacts the mortal realm.
Name: Baba Chik
God Level: Demi
Power: 2
Description: old weather-beaten black man with a gleaming smile, adorned in gibber-flesh togas and crowns of teeth
Notes:
Baba Chik has been busy these past ten years. He is grown in the careless wisdom of chaos, and gained understanding equal to his apparent age. Grey-haired and white-teethed, his face worn deeply by a decade of flesh-storms and experiments with mind-annihilating tubers from the Swamps of
Delectable Insanity, Baba studies the newly-spawned demi-god with interest from atop his wingčd blood-toad (who is technically his step-son).
Spend 1 power to mentor the new-risen Flexius Twisted in the ways of Chaos. However, driven by an inexplicable desire to trick the new demi-god, secretly teach him the ways of Law: the great kindness of kindness and the fearful violence of violence. In this way shall the first lawful creature set foot onto the cankerous plains of Chaos. (Also procure a sensible and evenly-stitched wool robe for the new demi-god. He shall be the very sight of orderliness.)
Name : Flexius Twisted
God level : demigod
power 0
Description Some twisted reflection of angelic flexius residing in realm of chaos, images of Borkle on armour and tunic are defaced and contain imagery of chaos, once noble golden face mask is twisted into raging maw. Tunic seems to be made of skinned fleshyboi skin and is covered by mad writings and curses.
Learn the ways of chaos, accept the truth of it within myself
All I ever wanted was the truth, chaos is truth and I will serve it
[6+1v5]
Flexius Twisted experiences a similar meteoric rise in popularity as Baba Chik, his insistence on flaying the skin of all children, even those who don't deserve it, wins him the love of the hulking shebeasts of screams. However, after a time the ancient Baba Chik takes the younger man under his wing and begins teaching him strange new things; inverse and terrible things but things which make a bizarre kind of sense. Flexius Twisted is gifted with Law and with Order, and the bubble within him like a silent volcano, waiting to spring forth.
The living slime of the Great Slime Belt coalesces, building the existing planetoids into full blown planets and forming three additonal ones: Ooze, Sludge, and Crud.
Blarg jets off in a random direction for a decade.
The voidships of the realm of chaos continue to explore. One finds its way to the barrier of Akahet, two find their way into the Great Slime belt , though do not make contact with the slime nor the spiders, and two more simply ride off into the void.
The Realm of Chaos itself gathers enormous amounts of power together through dark rituals using the body of Suflex which fell into their control. They bide their time or perhaps wait for the right completely random moment to do something.
The Zooplankton hordes are completely obliterated when Indivita's impact boils the seas. The Condor Nomads, Feather Serpents, and Tiger Giants all have their populations badly reduced by the fallout of the impact. In the chaos that follows, they band together in truce to fight back the Energy Siphon Beings which arise from the crater. Together, the allied forces of the Mortals beat back the Energy Siphon beings and imprison them in the Molten Crater along with their progenitor.
The Mechaspider Armada, unable to access the mortal world, attacks a nearby Chaos ship for resources. Though badly outnumbered, the Chaos ship manages to fight free of the Armada and escape subjugation. The Armada drifts in search of materials. Meanwhile the Mechaspider hives in the Slime Belt move to orbit the new Slime Planets.
The Food elementals repopulate quickly, despite the lack of help from Attom.
The Hearty boys continue to do their normal thing of fighting each other and lifting while conspicuously not making eye contact with Aigresaur or his creation.
Manor gains 1 power
Anaconda gains 1 power
Ep Gains 2 power
Credst gains 3 power
Borkle gains 2 power
Attom gains 1 power
The Giving Boar gains 1 power
Indivita gains 4 power
Enal gains 1 power
Hectorclese gains 3 power
Aigre gains 1 power
The Prowler gains 1 power
Vorul gains 4 power
Baba Chik gains 1 power
Flexius Twisted gains 1 power
Author
Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh (Read 120783 times)