Name: Enryu
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: A humanoid with a body made of a weird black and red mass and a completely average face born from the thoughts of mortals.
Notes: Just average stuff. Nothing to see here.
I'm not real? Oh well, c'est la vie. Enryu will try to learn how to manipulate the meta-narrative of this universe now that he's aware of the true meaning of life. Entertainment for unseen great eldritch shitposters.
[5]
Enryu, in his contemplation of the universe, gains an understanding that utterly undermines the established order. He learns to subvert the narrative and twist the results of those impossible machinations that control the universe.
((Enryu has gained the ability to directly fuck with the rolls of other players. Once per turn, and at the cost of 1 power, he can choose another player's action and directly determine what the d6 roll for it will be.))
Actually, I'll just accept that my project failed and, since my power was not actually used, keep my power at the appropriate level, for the sake of ease. Bit miffed, but I can always try again. First, however, Credst needs to vent a little bit.
Spend 1 power on punching the Malignant Red Hypergiant in the direction of Attom. Scratch that, Borkle's angry.
Spend Go far north-east and spend 6 power on creating the super computer I described previously, but only him this time so my power is less divided between different parts of the same project.
"Firstly, I am so glad I created those Slime Mechaspiders. Secondly, you are far too much of a threat to be allowed to live, you murderous, food obsessed, little shit. Borkle, do you want to help me with this? You're better at punching than me."
Name: Credst
God Level: Major
Power: 7
Sphere: Creation and Destruction
Description: A humanoid of swirling blue and red energy with indistinguishable features and a bright sun rotating on top of a crescent moon as a hat. He has 4 hands, with the top right hand holding the Staff of Creation.
Notes: The sun and moon atop Credst's head represent creation and destruction. The Staff of Creation is a twisting pillar of silver and light.
Destructive Acts: 6
Creative Acts: 4
Credst's hat has a slight fracture.
Credst currently has the Staff of Creation.
((I have 7 power at the moment. It looks like a tie between Hectorclese and Vurol, however.))
I believe the power at the end is how much power was gained.
[3+3]
Credst promptly leaves the more settled part of the universe and creates his desired super computer off on the North East edge of known reality. The computer is quite super; perhaps too super. Its bigger than many planets and could comfortably take up much of Akahet should it ever get taken there. It also talks in a sexy girl voice and calls Credst "Daddy" so...well its not bad just a bit awkward at social occasions.
Name: Attom
God Level: demigod
Power: 0 of 5
Description: A mass of thousand of arms holding different cooking instruments.
"That was unexpected, funny but unexpected".
Attom isn't angry about losing his mayor godhood, he is mostly surprised that it took so long considering he stayed below five power for more than half a century. He could have been defeated by demigods but none took advantage of that
Tear Mechaspiders apart to build a spaceship.
[1]
The sphere of spiders, now no longer held up by the great mantle of power that Attom used to project, collapse down onto him and entomb him even more tightly. If it keeps up this entombment will become quite literal.
Flexius
Meditate upon nature of chaos to understand, how it works and what is it.
Try to gain power with use of gained knowledge without corrupting myself and heartyboi crew in process
[4]
Flexius gains the power to use the abilities of the former realms of chaos, though there will always be the chance that they will corrupt him.
"How about this, little serpents. If you worship me and swear off the red hypergiant as heresy, I'll protect you from the gods. If anything comes along to mess with you, I'll punch 'em."
Offer the mechserpants a deal where if they worship me and not the hypergiant, I'll protect them. If they refuse the deal, I'll just leave them alone.
"Now, where were we? Time for f̵͚̥̲̭͋̾̅̓̾͟u̵̩̰̼̟̼̳ͫͭ̀n̷͖̺̘̾̇͌̚͞, my pet!"
Teleport myself and Haku far out into the empty void where nothing will disturb us.
Spend 1 power to create a hard sphere of unbreakable, soul-impermeable material around us. Large enough for some maneuvering inside. Not so unbreakable that I can't break it, of course. I'm no fool.
Now, properly secured, grasp Haku and spend 1 power to vigorously f̪̖̟̰ͣ̆͊̌ͨ͝ų̷̬̰̼̺̻̜͎̟̌͆͂͑̃̑͞c̡̹̥͈̩͐ͬ͐̾͘͡k̵̴͓͈͍͔̱̟ͭͫ͞ him for 10 years stright.
Make sure he doesn't die permanently, transform both him and myself into various forms regularly to keep things interesting, and make sure to involve his favorite things.
FYI, even if he dies his soul can't escape the sphere so I can just stick him in a new body.
Name: Anaconda
God Level: Minor
Power: 2
Sphere: Machinery and Murder.
Description: The bright blue and brute serpent, which throttles its prey. An aura of floating cogs surround it, awkwardly.
Notes: Ensouled. Fleshy! Has consort!
[6]
The Mechserpents agree enthusiastically to worship Anaconda, especially after Anaconda's history of punching divine things is explained to them. In fact, the begin following Anaconda around quite closely.
[1+1]
Anaconda's attempts to summon up an impermeable...love nest lets call it...fail. However, not one to let a potential booty call end get away, Anaconda simply drags her consort into the mechserpent armada and proceeds to leave a trail of destruction, scented candles, heart shaped beds, and annoyed neighbors in her wake.
[1]
In the end, haku is snu-snu'd to the point of being borderline comatose and Anaconda is still left wanting.
Muahahaha!
Thorn rejoices in the realization of the wicked form it that now plays its' host puppet. Two large sharp calcified structures to rend with. A warm fluffy brown insulated body. With foot steps so soft and quite, death creeps unmolested in the twig strewn forest.
Thorn nibbles berries while brooding over its' terrible plans.
Name: Thorn
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: Looks like what ever being ate the peach. Slowly replaces their mind. If the body dies, a bush grows within a day with a single peach.
Notes: Fond of huskies.
Thorn nibbles. Eventually its host dies. [5] Thorn finds a new host on some sort of massive moose thing.
Being omniscient has its uses. And it’s drawbacks
Today, today was a drawback.
Borkle saw Mr Virgiwerk frantically scrambling to repair the ship, even as his metallic body became redder and redder.
He saw Ultra shield his lover and child even as the flames rushed through the bulkhead, comforting them in their last moments.
He saw the confusion in Flexius’s eyes, as his father who saved him led him into death
Even as the flames entered the bridge, and his Hard boys stoically accepted their ends, he saw this.
And above all, he heard the cruel laughter of the star, it’s basic, simple maelevolence taunting him as it consumed all he had wrought.
And then, when the fires reached him, he opened his eyes, blazing red with power, and said a word
”NO”
Spend 5 power to destroy this monstrosity. 5 more to punch reality to bring it back. Bring it ALL back
All the demigods
All the mortals
All the ships
All the land
[2+3][1+3]
Borkle, perhaps quite more angry than normal, proceeds to punch the Malignant Red Hypergiant. The star collapses in on itself and winks out of existance. As it does so, he turns to the black void and punches reality itself. His blow, despite its power, is not enough to violently rip all of reality back into the form he desires. He cannot completely return things, but he gets close, at least for his purposes. His blow restores his punchship and its inhabitants in a giant flash of light and pottery breaking sound effects. In fact, he may have broken reality a bit as the numbers of each group aren't quite right.
*INCOHERENT WRATHFUL SCREAMING OF PURE RAGE*
*Eager squeaking*
Donate 3 power to Borkle's efforts to destroy the Malignant Red Hypergiant. Also donate 1 point to his restoration of the world.
Spend 1 power on continuing to help my monks do good deeds. Finally, spend 1 power on closing that bridge I accidentally created.
Name:Ep.
God level:Minor
Power:7
Sphere:The Weak.
Description:A little brown mouse with an upward-pointing crescent on his forehead.
Notes:Lives in an infinite subspace burrow.
[2+1][4+1]
Ep's attempts to help his monks are basically imperceptible however he very clearly does destroy the tower he created, or at least severs its connection to the heavens before anything terrible can crawl in.
((I spent 1 power in my turn, yet it seems I didn't get a boost from the expense of the power. Should I treat it as if the power wasn't used, or should I still remove it from my sheet?))
Lilith quickly used the power of the barrier to expel the new and dangerous animals of the forest, The Beasts, to the outside realm. The theocracy could have fun with them.
Name: Lilith
God Level: Demigod
Power: 4 or 5 depending on the response to m'query.
Sphere: None
Description: An entity born from the fertile flesh of Akahet's more hospitable areas, Lilith is a collection of plant matter that has molded itself into the shape of a humanoid.
Lilith may be somewhere in line for promotion to Minor god depending on how other ascensions go, and depending on whether she currently has 4 or 5 power.
((Drat, for some reason you weren't on the pantheon list. Well, the reason is of course that I am a dumb. I also remembered the prowler's power wrong so You are now a minor god.))
[5]
Lilith expels most of the wildlife from the forest, pushing the monsterous creatures out onto the plains nearby.
Ideology is form, form is blood. The blood cult shall be an instrument, the followers learning blood magic. They shall learn of the power of the blood, and how to extract it. They shalt slaughter and kill to obtain blood, for blood is blood. Take the blood of mighty beings, and make it your own. Sacrifice mortals for more power of blood. The cult is and shall be the rise of the betters. Now to spread the cult secretly....
Name: Lizarkar
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: Some sort of strange lizardman with a large body and a crimson body. Appeared in the mortal realms jungles one day.
Notes: This section is for notes either about yourself or stuff I tell you to add to it. Used to keep track of various things
Lizarkar attempts to spread his message of....something about blood...but his rather distressing method of promoting the cult and his complicated dogma of blood this and blood that either frightens or confuses new converts into leaving. About the only beings he can intice into even being connected to him are the more edgy, younger tiger giants who might just be rebelling against their fathers.
They spend the cult meetings composing terrible poetry and whining.
Name: Hectorclese the Stout
God level: Minor
Power: 9 - probably
Sphere: Victory and Feasting
Description: The Heartiest of Hearty Boys, the pinnacle of what they can be; big and strong, he's always on the lookout for something to eat. He walks among mortals with a dim glow around him, a clear sign of his deification.
Notes: Smarting over the loss of some Heart Boys in the Food Invasion
80 war beasts and 40 Hearty Boys
Check the NeoKitchen for damage and repair any found with the help of my Hearty Boys!
Aid Borkle in his efforts by making sure the Star Krakens are unable to consume the Malignant Star.
[4] It takes a decade, but the crew of the neokitchen finally manages to get it back into working order. Over this period he learns that war beasts don't make good mechanics.
This world domination and killing people thing really isn't going my way. Guess I'll try something more mundane.
Devise a ritual that allows one to project a soul from the underworld. Use that to make a living as a psychic.
Also try to help Manor with the energy Siphons.
Though with my luck I'll probably end up making it worse.
Name: Sucker, Demon of Entropy
God Level: Major
Power: 1
Sphere (If major or minor god): Death and Entropy
Description: A Skelton wearing a dark cloak.
Notes: Holds the Edge of Oblivion. A scythe with the power to kill gods and slay souls.
Has impressed some necromancers.
[5] Sucker discovers a way to pull souls from the underworld straight to him and uses this ability to act as grand interrogator of the dead. It is most impressive if not usually very useful under the new reign of the theocracy who doesn't seem as into necromancy as the previous management.
"Behold! Almighty Attom has displayed his power! The belly of the universe fills with an exquisite feast of death and woe! Now c'mon - one, two, one two three four..."
As he leads his fellow food elementals in a rousing and melodic devotional prayer chant to Attom (they are yet to realise or comprehend their Creator's divine demotion, it would seem), Uziña's attention begins to wander.
Baked for battle and having sat mostly idle for some decades now, he cannot help but become restless. On top of that, he is just dying for a chance to test out his new superweapon.
With his crusty limbs itching for action, he wanders off as his brethren launch into a third verse describing the piquant flavours of the Curry of Antipathy, heading to the controls of the gigantic turret protruding from the Food Cruiser...
Get the Food Elementals whipped up into a frenzy of song in praise of Attom, then go and use my entire remaining store of 3 power to fire a supercharged shot from the Pressure Cooker into yon Malignant Red Hypergiant for shits and giggles.
Name: Užina
God Level: Demi
Power: 3
Description: A tall, humanoid figure seemingly formed out of flexible breadrolls, with bagel hands and tomato soup in place of blood. Its head is a dark, hefty loaf of rye, with only a couple of creases and a cryptic pattern of seeds and flour resembling anything akin to a 'face'.
Notes: Awakened food elemental.
Aboard Attom's Food Cruiser, armed with a superweapon known as the Pressure Cooker.
[1] Uzina attempts to whip up a chorus for Attom, hopefully giving some power to the old god, but his singers instead chant Uzina's name. Dejected, Uzina takes aim with his dooms day weapon only for Borkle to totally shotblock him and destroy the red hypergiant before he can fire.
Name: Enal "The Heartless Mind"
God Level: Minor
Sphere: Knowledge, Logic
Power: 1
Description: A strange, shifting, humanoid form. He can't seem to settle on a "logical" form, but he likes the glasses - the one constant.
Notes: "The first one who points out the errors of the universe is a genius. All who follow are imitations."
DAMMIT HE WOULD BRAIN BEYOND THE LIMITS OF NORMAL GODHOOD
DO MORE SCIENCE. RESEARCH MORE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE. GAIN. MORE. POWER. Also spend one again.
[4+1]
Enal quickly figures out a way to leech some of the turbulent energy of the passing of the slime god machine into his ship and then into himself. [+5 power]
Time to recharge! Perform minor but visible miracles around my temples. Also, communicate with the underworld to ensure proper soul exchanging for both me and Sucker. Also take some time to help out Ep and Cawder.
Name: Manor
God Level: Major
Power: 0
Sphere (If major or minor god): Consciousness and Souls (the business of being sentient, including life and death)
Description: [The Observer]
[3]
Manor performs a series of rather underwhelming miracles around the mortal realm. This, combined with the fact that most of the realm is focused on worshiping Zarel, results in little if any power gains for him.
Use my natural demianimal magnatism to recruit a furry army.
Now. My fellow beasts. Accept me as your alpha leader! Every pack, every herd, every family, heed my call!
If things go really well, bestow some intelligence to the alphas of the strongest and most dominant packs of animals, to carry out more precise stragims, on my behalf.
Name: Thorn
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: Looks like what ever being ate the peach. Slowly replaces their mind. If the body dies, a bush grows within a day with a single peach.
Notes: Fond of huskies.
Current Description:
((next time, only one action post per turn. If you want multiple actions, do them as part of one post))
[2]
Thorn attempts to attract an army of monsters but sadly none of them listen to him/her/it.
Using my Vorpal Pike, carve out a hole in the Akahet's protective barrier, so that I can quickly dive inside.
Once I'm on the physical plane, find myself a cave to hide and live in.
Name: The Prowler
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0 out of 5
Sphere (If major or minor god):
Description: A humanoid with extremely thin limbs, elongated and thin torso, long neck, and a human-sized head of a three-eyed dragon with no pupils and white sclera. It's scales are black and shiny.
Notes: Chaos Energy Vorpal Pike, has an apparatus that allows moving around the Void.
[3]
The prowler bangs on the barrier with his pick but can't pierce it.
Turns out making buildings is hard, who knew?
Head west to the former Murderrealm and start proselytizing again, to spread word of Manor and Ep. Make the most of Manor's miracles and support in this. About time these might-worshiping fools heard of the power of Good.
Name: Cawder
God Level: Demigod
Power: 0
Description: A wizened condor nomad with a scruffy air, whose eyes flash with multicoloured divine light - clearly a result of the great Manor's random boon-granting.
Notes:
[1]
Things go great for Cawder until his first rally when he describes the people of the theocracy as "Might worshiping fools" and is promptly beaten to a pulp, stuffed in a barrel, and put out to sea.
Added PowerEnryu +1
Credst +1
Attom +0
Flexius +1
Anaconda +1
Thorn +0
Borkle +3
Lilith +2
Lizarkar +1
Hectorclese +1
Uzina +3
Sucker +2
Enal (already awarded in post)
Manor +0
The Prowler +0
Cawder +0
NPC actions
[1] The Remaining fragment of chaos slowly begins to dissolve.
[2] The Mechserpents basically just watch Anaconda's actions with polite, if very awkward silence.
Baba Chik vanishes from inaction.
[4] The spider dreadnought heads over to the Mechserpent armada and asks them whats going on. They sheepishly explain.
[5v2] The Star Krakens attack the cosmic luddite and eat it
[4] The Energy Siphons recoop some of their losses and take interest in Sucker's odd bridge between the underworld and the mortal realm.
[3v2] The murderrealm is assailed by the monsters that have been driven from Lilith's forest. They manage to drive the beasts back, but only barely and with a significant loss of undead "life".
[4] Meanwhile the theocracy again grows in power and spreads, this time under a new banner of eventually reaching the stars. Or lack of stars now, since the bit noticeable one got punched out.
[4] The Hedonists finish creating their new planet of Pleasure Realm. Its a better realm with hookers and blackjack.
[4] The number of Good Mortals Slowly grows and their good deeds continue to be done.
Author
Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh (Read 120792 times)