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Author Topic: Divine Fuckery: The End is Nigh  (Read 115023 times)

Enemy post

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #45 on: December 15, 2018, 02:20:05 pm »

Are the Hearty Boys a reference to something?
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LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #46 on: December 15, 2018, 02:46:25 pm »

Are the Hearty Boys a reference to something?

I mean, I was referencing a single line in Emperor TTS when I made them. Episode 16 I believe. I didn’t really anticipate that we were just gonna call them that.
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TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #47 on: December 15, 2018, 02:55:00 pm »

Hey Piecewise, can a god from a lower position in the chain take up a position higher in the chain if it's vacant even if they didn't cause the vacancy?
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

Enemy post

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #48 on: December 15, 2018, 02:57:06 pm »

Are the Hearty Boys a reference to something?

I mean, I was referencing a single line in Emperor TTS when I made them. Episode 16 I believe. I didn’t really anticipate that we were just gonna call them that.

Thanks.
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Secheral

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #49 on: December 15, 2018, 03:33:01 pm »

Name: Suflex
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A scantily dressed Hearty Boy, deliciously marinaded with only the best ingredients in order to insure maximum fighting prowess. Also fishlike with just a pinch of horrible deformities in the upper body region.
Notes:

Before the walloping begins, oil up the Anaconda and Chronophage in accordance with the safety regulations.
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TankKit

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #50 on: December 15, 2018, 03:51:57 pm »

Name: Suflex
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A scantily dressed Hearty Boy, deliciously marinaded with only the best ingredients in order to insure maximum fighting prowess. Also fishlike with just a pinch of horrible deformities in the upper body region.
Notes:

Before the walloping begins, oil up the Anaconda and Chronophage in accordance with the safety regulations.
Oh us.
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“I would stop you from doing unholy experiments with my people, but I don’t actually care about their well-being and I kinda want to see what happens”

Spoken like a true god TankKit.

LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #51 on: December 15, 2018, 03:55:01 pm »

“HEY! YOU THERE! STOP THAT. MASSAGING GIANT MONSTERS WOTH OIL IS WEIRD.”

Edit: “ALSO, HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WHY ARENT YOU FIGHTING YOUR BROTHERS? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!”
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 03:56:55 pm by LordPorkins »
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piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #52 on: December 15, 2018, 04:02:57 pm »

Hey Piecewise, can a god from a lower position in the chain take up a position higher in the chain if it's vacant even if they didn't cause the vacancy?
Yep. If they go idle and don't post for a while I'll kick them from their place in the pantheon.

IronyOwl

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #53 on: December 15, 2018, 04:17:32 pm »

Name: Scroll
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere (If major or minor god): Knowledge
Description: A multicolored and ever-shifting octopus wearing a monocle.
Notes: -


Teach the Hearty Boys to gain knowledge from their punching, rather than just punching intuitively.
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A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #54 on: December 15, 2018, 04:26:04 pm »

Name: Scroll
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere (If major or minor god): Knowledge
Description: A multicolored and ever-shifting octopus wearing a monocle.
Notes: -


Teach the Hearty Boys to gain knowledge from their punching, rather than just punching intuitively.
Sorry irony, all our minor god spots are filled. But there's demigod spots left.




I've added a pantheon list to the first post to keep track of who is where.

Secheral

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #55 on: December 15, 2018, 04:50:09 pm »

“HEY! YOU THERE! STOP THAT. MASSAGING GIANT MONSTERS WOTH OIL IS WEIRD.”

Edit: “ALSO, HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WHY ARENT YOU FIGHTING YOUR BROTHERS? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!”
"But Father, they are unoiled. It would be shameful to watch two organisms beat at one another without the sweet succor of lubrication. Observe! Their skin is smooth. Smooth. We mustn't allow it's beauty to fade. My natural oils will preserve it even in death. We may even need such skin someday for eh... reasons. Great reason. Shiny reasons. Shiny and glittery, just like my muscles. And who doesn't like glitter? More importantly, who doesn't like muscles? Now do you see , Father, why I must oil these creatures and protect them from excessive harm?"
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LordPorkins

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #56 on: December 15, 2018, 05:04:55 pm »

“HEY! YOU THERE! STOP THAT. MASSAGING GIANT MONSTERS WOTH OIL IS WEIRD.”

Edit: “ALSO, HOW DID YOU GET HERE? WHY ARENT YOU FIGHTING YOUR BROTHERS? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!”
"But Father, they are unoiled. It would be shameful to watch two organisms beat at one another without the sweet succor of lubrication. Observe! Their skin is smooth. Smooth. We mustn't allow it's beauty to fade. My natural oils will preserve it even in death. We may even need such skin someday for eh... reasons. Great reason. Shiny reasons. Shiny and glittery, just like my muscles. And who doesn't like glitter? More importantly, who doesn't like muscles? Now do you see , Father, why I must oil these creatures and protect them from excessive harm?"

Suflex gets a blank look
“HOLD THAT THOUGHT”

Borkle spins around 180, and puts his hand up to his ear with thumb and pinkie out  “cell phone” style.

“HEY AIGRESAUR. I GOT A WEIRD ONE HERE. SOMETHING TELLS ME HE’s MORENYOUR THING. GET OVER HERE AND PICK HIM UP.”

Borkle turns back around

“I GOT... UH.... A OIL VENDOR COMING TO GIVE YOU A LIFT. YEAH. CHOW.”

He hen disappears

((PS I love how everyone has really, like, abstract or symbolic god forms, and then I’m just here with fucking Mr Torgue in space.))
« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 05:06:26 pm by LordPorkins »
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Ïlul Thuveg-Ellest
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IronyOwl

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #57 on: December 15, 2018, 05:29:30 pm »

Sorry irony, all our minor god spots are filled. But there's demigod spots left.
Demigod it is then!

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -

Organize a proper tournament to refine the Hearty Boys' hearty competition!
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

KitRougard

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #58 on: December 15, 2018, 09:33:05 pm »

Spoiler: Unhearty Boy (click to show/hide)
A skinny, WEAK Hearty Boy sat in the bleachers, shunned by his peers. He had been created with noodle arms, no 6-pack, and even WEAK EYES. He had to carve some broken glass into weird looking windows for his face so he could even see properly! But he saw something with those weak eyes... He had to analyze it!
Pay close attention to the actual Hearty Boys'  primitive fighting styles. Cook up a more refined, skilled one.
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piecewise

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Re: Divine Fuckery: A god game that would make Zeus proud.
« Reply #59 on: December 16, 2018, 02:18:04 am »

Name: Borkle, He-Who-Punches-Your-Face
Power: 11
Sphere: Beating the snot out of things. AKA Combat and Battle


Borkle detects that a being, somewhere, is in need of a good scrap

He appears before Anaconda in a flash of muscles and haymakers


“HELLO GEAR-GURL! I HEAR YOU WANT A GOOD FIGHT! DO YOU WISH TO COME TO MY ARENA OF GLORIOUS COMBAT?”

If she says yes, teleport her to the arena. Introduce her to the boys. Spend 1 power to teleport her safely. Just in case. Have her fight. THUS GENERATING EVEN MORE POWER

((PS we need someone to make Phil Swift, God of Repairs to fix the holes in space time left by the Chronophage. Also great job everyone! It’s turn 2 and we’ve already got a doomsday device/end of game scenario! Yay!))

I am aware that later actions contradict this but...well this action is still here and unchanged so...

[6+1]
Borkle flash steps out into the infinite void and finds  Anaconda still angrily biting in the general direction of the Chronophage.

"DO YOU WANNA FIGHT?!" He shouted at her, flexing impressively. And then before she could form a coherent sentence he grabbed her by both feet and proceeded to do a hyper light speed giant swing on her before hurling her towards the arena at relativistic speeds.


Oh. I uh... wasn't entirely expecting that.

Devote 3 power to creating a powerful spear of destruction and give it to Anaconda.

"Some help with destroying the universe eating monstrosity, especially from the more powerful gods, would be appreciated, so feel free to contribute."

[2+2]
Seeing the rather out of control beast of destruction that has been unleashed upon the universe, Credst decides to fix destruction with more destruction and summons up a spear of pure, condensed, and solidified sunfire.  [2] However getting it to Anaconda proves difficult. She's currently moving at near light speed towards the space arena and seems to be in no real state to accept the unnamed instrument of destruction. However, if she stops sometime soon, you'll make sure to give it to her.


Name: Indivita
God Level: Major
Power: 10
Sphere: Life and Energy
Description: A small, metallic cube that floats around.
Notes:

Indivita, disappointed with the lack of energy created by its vibration, decides to teleport to (0,1) and release such a massive amount of energy that it manifests as a physical and sentient entity. It then does that a lot.
[2]
Indivita warps next to the space arena and continues to vibrate. If this vibration is supposed to have an effect, no one can tell because nothing freaking happens.


Learn the tunnel maze and give Anaconda 2 power if she goes up against the Chronophage.

Spoiler: Ep (click to show/hide)
[2 oh come on.]
Ep scurries about its infinite tunnels but cannot find the exit. [1] And lost as it is, it has no idea whats going on outside. Even if it knew, the maze precludes any attempt to influence the outside world. In the maze he is safe from everything and everything is beyond his reach.


Grant Anaconda the power of a soul and improved strength to challenge the beast. Also move them to it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[1]
Manor, in his attempts to imbue the soulless Anaconda with new life, accidentally separates her mind and body, leaving one adrift in the void and the other still hurtling in towards the space arena.
[3]
Seeing the impending doom of the impact, Manor does however manage to reverse Anaconda's course and send her hurtling back towards the chronophage.

Name: Attom
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere (If major or minor god): Cooking
Description: A mass of thousand of arms holding different cooking instruments.

Cook healthy meals for the Hearty Boys fighting must be an hungry job
[1]
Attom descends upon the space arena, taking up a large chunk of the seating on one of the upper levels with its thousand limbs. It declares that it shall cook a feast for the hearty boys and then proceeds to cook up a horde of hostile food elementals that it unleashes upon them. Whether this is an accident or a bit of mischievous humor is hard to say.


Maybe I'm getting teleported off to the arena to fight some muscle lads. Maybe I'm getting teleported off to the Chronophage to do battle with it.
Either way is fine with Anaconda.

If Power is available, use 1 to improve my roll for attack and 1 to improve my roll for defense.


Spoiler: Anaconda (click to show/hide)
Anaconda found herself as naught but a mind adrift in the void. So, before anything else, she attempted to reconnect with her body.
[5]
She is successful, her disembodied spirit clinging to the metal shell as it whizzes past. She reawakens, still hurtling towards the Chronophage.

Teach the chronophage the joys of Passion and Procreation. Do it myself! Grab one and initiate it into a holy priestesshood of snuggles.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[6]
Aigresaur appears once more before the Chronophage and imparts to it the nature of lust, passion, and most of all, procreation. The Chronophage, its semi-mind a sea of hunger and hatred, learns a perverse lesson from this and gains new power. Its insectoid form cracks and splits like a mitotic cell, and two maws of metafangs emerge to chew space-time.  But the body does not split, instead more and more forms appear on an ever expanding body. Metal cancer, wild mutant growths of heads and limbs, eating and tearing, growing over each other as they expand out in all directions.

The Chronophage as become the Omniphage, Eater of All.

[5] Aigresaur, apparently pleased with itself, flickers away before it too can be devoured.


Fools! The Chronophage needs no love, only purpose! Give it the task of eating any paradoxes and time travellers! Spend 1 power to dominate the Chronophage and give it the task!

Spoiler: GLOB (click to show/hide)
[5+1]
GLOB locks wills with the mechanical cancer of the Omniphage, intent on guiding its nascent mind towards something more meaningful.  He tries to set it to the task of devouring those things which unduly alter time. But the Omniphage, mind of hate and hunger, sees the god of time as one of those undue meddlers and immediately turns against him, its malignant attention focused solely upon him for the moment. [1] GLOB is pulled within the ever growing mass of his creation, entombed in grinding metal teeth.

The current usurper of time contained, it continues to grow, in search of more time travelers to devour.



Name: Vurol
God Level: Minor
Power: 5
Sphere : Slime
Description: A large blob of viscous matter swirling with shocking colours

Use 3 power to create an ocean/a puddle of primordial soup, floating in space
[1+2]
Vurol produces a tiny glob of protoplasmic slime. Really its just a single slime, floating in space. A gelatinous space cube.

Name: Hectorclese the highly creative
God level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A Hearty Boy, with rippling muscles and skin as smooth as a baby’s bottom, given the complete lack of hair. Bright blue eyes though, gotta have something.
Notes: Heightened curiousity

Smash some heads in Borkle’s arena, learnin’ as much about fighting as is possible, up to and including leading the other Hearty Boys in sparring skirmishes against each other.
[2]
Hectorclese fights along side the Hearty boys in their continuing battles with the Food Elementals. And though he fights bravely and endures many waves of homicidal Salami Jinn and Sausage Wyrms, he fails to distinguish himself from any of the others.

Name: Suflex
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A scantily dressed Hearty Boy, deliciously marinaded with only the best ingredients in order to insure maximum fighting prowess. Also fishlike with just a pinch of horrible deformities in the upper body region.
Notes:

Before the walloping begins, oil up the Anaconda and Chronophage in accordance with the safety regulations.
As a demi-god, you lack the divine capacity to traverse the void with the ease of the gods. Without some sort of contraption or divine assistance, reaching the Omniphage or the ballistic demigod is impossible to you.

Sorry irony, all our minor god spots are filled. But there's demigod spots left.
Demigod it is then!

Name: Ultra
God Level: Demi
Power: 0
Description: A magnificent Hearty Boy whose eyes glow with incandescent power.
Notes: -

Organize a proper tournament to refine the Hearty Boys' hearty competition!
[3]
Ultra, while not able to truly distinguish himself in the Food Fights, does end up leading a small group of other Hearty Boys as their Muscle Commander. Its not a big job, but its a start.

Spoiler: Unhearty Boy (click to show/hide)
A skinny, WEAK Hearty Boy sat in the bleachers, shunned by his peers. He had been created with noodle arms, no 6-pack, and even WEAK EYES. He had to carve some broken glass into weird looking windows for his face so he could even see properly! But he saw something with those weak eyes... He had to analyze it!
Pay close attention to the actual Hearty Boys'  primitive fighting styles. Cook up a more refined, skilled one.
[2]
Enal does his best to act as a tactician during the Food elemental wars, but the Hearty boys seem far to enthralled by their desire to punch and wrestle all that stands before them to listen to his plans.




[2v1]
War rages across the space arena for a decade, Hearty Boy vs Food elemental.  The hearty boys are powerful, lusty for battle, and hungry for food based carnage, but completely disorganized. Luckily for them the food elementals seem even worse equipped for battle and rampantly devour each other with the same or perhaps greater gusto than they attack the Hearty boys.  In the end, they are easily beaten back and consumed.

[6]
Anaconda returns to the place of her birth at incredible speed. With an near light speed inazuma kick that leaves her embedded 4 miles deep in a white hot crater of molten metal.

Anaconda gains 2 power, Attom gains 1 power, Aigresaur gains 1 power, Ultra gains 1 power, Credst gains 1 power.
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