Was it stupid of Milos to hope that nobody would notice him even though he just spilled wine all over himself? Yes. Yes it was. But he had really hoped nobody would call him out, just continue... and yet Joachim called him out. Harshly, in fact. The grim reality of his words hit him when he least expected it; during a dinner in front of royalty. It was instinct that called out to him next; pure instinct, that made him want to shout, all dignity forgotten, that he'll leave if that was what he wanted. Why was he here? He was clearly making no progress. He was hitting a brick wall, unable to stop shaking in terror. He braced himself, ready to flee when the agreements rolled in, putting Grae and the rest of the mercenaries to shame. That's all he seemed to do, just
embarrass them...
Claire's words were the first to bring him back to light. A little nudge in the right direction, so to say. One that kept him rooted to his seat, trying to lift his head despite knowing that his face was caked with perhaps a few too many tears that he wanted nothing more than to hide. But what pulled him right back into reality were Ella's words.
You will explain why you have brought a whimperingBut he is here, is he not? Afraid or not, he sits here among us.child into my presence.It really was just a sense of irrationality. An unfortunate connection he made back to her father... he just happened to look young, that was all. And then Grae... Grae still believed in him. After all of this, Grae
still believed in him. Maybe he wasn't hitting such a brick wall after all. Milos still tried to climb his way out of that deep, dark hole. And he could begin to see the end of the hole.
"So, what arrre you going to do? Arrre you going to hide behind someone else's coattails forrr as long as you can, orrr arrre you going to take rrresponsibility forrr yourrrself?"The physical contact made him shiver, but perhaps it was just due to how he wasn't used to it, rather than it being from the touch of someone he feared. Though tears still caked his face, the well had begun to run dry, as a small spark began to run through him, looking fear straight in the eyes.
Punch him.The offer was simple, and clear. It was almost symbolic, in a way. The ability to punch his fear right in the face, not to harm, but to come to an understanding with it. That he was afraid, but he didn't have to be afraid. Beasts may be scary, but they still had feelings. Milos' hand curled into a little fist, barely recognizable... but then there was hesitation. Not because he was afraid... but
why? Joachim was an ally. Milos wanted to support, not hurt. Milos had half a mind to say that, opening his little mouth...
But his hesitation was too much. The beast that Aya brought to the table had already jumped to his defense. The word hit him like a hammer right on one of the hands he had been using to climb the ladder out of that deep dark pit.
Children. It hurt, and he grit his teeth as his eye contact had broken. Milos attempted to reestablish that eye contact, but it was too late. Grae had already jumped to his defense. Like many times he had done before... Grae was defending him. Milos really appreciated Grae, but... he was ashamed that he didn't act quicker. Grae wouldn't have had to have gotten up. Hesitation was Milos' downfall once again. He watched somberly as Joachim left.
Shame trickled down his back. He was fighting. He was fighting alongside his group, and against his fears as well. And yet, he had failed to make the right blow at the right time. Perhaps saying something could have helped him to open a hole in that fear... but clearly, it wasn't meant to be. Milos could see that Joachim needed a little bit of alone time, potentially. But... he was going to try and find an opening again. To make things right with the one who, while harsh, had a point.
For now, Milos looked up, his eyes glowing with determination even if the stains of his tears still remained on his face as he stood up and out of his seat.
"I... am Milos Crawford. I am nineteen years old, though I look very young for my age. My father always insisted that I would be a very late bloomer, and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps my growth was stunted from my fear, but I assure you... all of you..." Milos tried very hard to look each and every beast in the face, his eyes ending on Ella's.
"...that I am an adult who has made a choice. A choice that said... that I was tired of living in fear. Beast Laguz... take up more of the population than humans do, and it's not fair to any of them that I should have this fear. Why do I have this fear? I don't know. There are no roadblocks, no traumatic experiences... just a goal that I've continued to trip along the way to get to. But... Every time I trip, it gets me a little bit closer. And I know that sometimes... it doesn't look like I've made very much progress... I know sometimes I have to have other people pick me up... but I... I know that one day, I'm going to clear that goal on my own two legs."Milos sat back down, his confidence beginning to cool.
Not yet, Milos reassured himself.
Close it out. Be respectful. But sit down just so you don't shiver as much. Did he shiver once throughout that whole speech? He wasn't keeping track, but if he didn't...
"Princess Ella... I appreciate your words greatly. Your father... I don't think he's very fond of me at all, for similar reasons to Joachim. Though both harsh, they have points. I can't just curl up and cry at every little obstacle. I... I let my behavior slip because I worried that you would have the same low opinion of me, but I see now that it was foolish of me to think so." He took his eyes off of Ella, now moving to Wolfgang, though his eyesight was beginning to start to dart around and it was clear that it was taking a lot of force to keep them in place.
"Prince Wolfgang... I am deeply sorry for having contributed in the interruption to the feast you've so graciously prepared for us. I hope that this will not damage our relationships. And... you, sir." Milos looked to Raajak, trying to keep that steely gaze even if his body's shivers subtly conveyed that he was ready to go back to doing the opposite of talking.
"Raajak, yes...? I apologize that the first impression I've made was less than stellar, but... I do hope I can rectify it."Milos slumped back in his chair a little bit, holding himself. For a brief moment, he looked down at himself; this time, it wasn't in shame but utter bewilderment. What just came out of his
mouth?
"Erm-! Sorry, I... promise I'm not usually that wordy...! I hope I didn't, um... spoil anyone's dinner."
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Topic: Fire Emblem on Forums: Laguz Test Game IC (Read 60374 times)