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[brewer bob]

For every mug of alcohol drunk in the game a player has to drink one as well. Other wise the game pauses until the condition is met.

Naturally the alcohol the player drinks has to be of the same type that is consumed in game, which may cause some problems when it comes to plump helmet wine (among several other types of drink).

[Starver]

/hurridly mods in banananana[1] dakiri and peach schnapps as the main reaction products.


[1] However you stop spelling it.

[delphonso]

If the player doesn't consume alcohol every 5 minutes, a siege arrives.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

If the player doesn't consume alcohol every 5 minutes, a siege arrives.

Not in the game. In real life.

[delphonso]

Me: *hastily trying to pour together a new cocktail*

*the door is knocked down by a troll*

[King Zultan]

Dwarf fortress should alert your local police that your drunk as hell and playing a game about drunk midgets.

[Criperum]

And they start sieging your home. Just as plannned because you've already built a death corridor

[brewer bob]

And they start sieging your home. Just as plannned because you've already built a death corridor

When the police arrive to siege your home, you'd better make sure that no pets or kids are outside, as they'll be the first ones to be slaughtered.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

If the police do show up, you can weather the siege by hastily constructing and raising a drawbridge in front of your door. The police won't make any attempt to circumvent it and will just stand around aimlessly for the duration (after slaughtering any pets and family members unlucky enough to still be outside).

[King Zultan]

As part of the new version of DF all police have been replaced with goblins and trolls.

[Starver]

So, crime rates fall and so does the prevalence of actual police brutality? Sounds like you submitted that idea to the wrong thread!

[Criperum]

If police sieges you then you pull the level and collapse the whole city under their feet

[Magmacube_tr]

rabies

[Strik3r]

rabies

I do not see by which metric is that a terrible suggestion. Sounds more like... Fun. Perhaps you consider it terrible because it could easily be modded into the game?

Speaking of "Fun":
Implement a Rimworld-like storyteller system into DF, except there is only one storyteller and it's little Suzie, who'll make sure the player's experience from beginning to end is as free of challenges and as much like kids' fairytale as possible, making sure to not throw anything seriously threatening at the player at any point whatsoever.

[King Zultan]

as much like kids' fairytale as possible, making sure to not throw anything seriously threatening at the player at any point whatsoever.

That all depends on which fairy tale you talk about because some of them can be pretty violent, like some of the stuff in Struwwelpeter.