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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 541314 times)

ChaosPotato

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2445 on: October 29, 2020, 06:39:09 pm »

Dwarves now deconstruct dwarves.
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hi I hate this account and everything I've ever done with it but I don't feel like going through the process of making a new one right now

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2446 on: October 29, 2020, 07:13:16 pm »

Elves reconstruct dwarves as elves.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

A_Curious_Cat

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2447 on: October 29, 2020, 08:46:53 pm »

Elves reproduce by kidnapping members of another species and turning them into an "elf spouse" over a period of time.
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Really hoping somebody puts this in their signature.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2448 on: October 30, 2020, 07:12:48 am »

All races reproduce by kidnapping members of other races because they find members of other races sexier than people of their own race.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2449 on: October 30, 2020, 07:59:28 am »

Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

BigUglyWorm

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2450 on: October 30, 2020, 12:06:37 pm »

Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.
They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
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We must prepare for the Vomitpocalypse.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2451 on: October 30, 2020, 12:28:32 pm »

Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.
They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Retrophrenology
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Urist McUristUrist

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2452 on: October 30, 2020, 05:50:15 pm »

Elves now deconstruct the trade depot and steal the materials right after departing due to being offended.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2453 on: October 30, 2020, 06:21:06 pm »

Engravers and Stoneworkers can now interact with criminals, either by engraving them or smoothing them.
They smooth and then re-engrave their brains to get rid of all those bad, unacceptable crime-thoughts.
An announcement will pop up for every murder and say "Urist McMiner has been hit by, has been stuck by, Moldath KillerDwarf"
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2454 on: October 31, 2020, 04:00:00 am »

Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Nordlicht

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2455 on: October 31, 2020, 04:23:16 am »

Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.

This would become the default treatment for every noble.
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muldrake

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2456 on: October 31, 2020, 06:10:01 am »

Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.

This would become the default treatment for every noble.
I thought this was the terrible suggestions thread.  Also lobotomies have a chance of entirely re-rolling the dwarf's personality a la Phineas Gage.
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Fikilili

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2457 on: October 31, 2020, 08:46:31 am »

Artistic Dwarves who are tasked to make statues for the fortress will ask random, muscular dwarves to pose for them. Naked, of course.
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"Military? What's that? Something to eat?"

Nordlicht

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2458 on: October 31, 2020, 08:48:22 am »

And sometimes a friend of the one lobotomized who was not as mute as everyone thought will destroy your water supply and run away.
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Azerty

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #2459 on: October 31, 2020, 03:43:20 pm »

Toady should add the ability to lobotomies dwarves as a way to fix their psychotic and troublesome ways, while doing this has a small chance to fix the problem it has a much higher chance to kill the dwarf or to leave it with only the ability to haul stuff.

This would become the default treatment for every noble.

Or POWs.
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"Just tell me about the bits with the forest-defending part, the sociopath part is pretty normal dwarf behavior."
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