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Author Topic: Terrible Suggestions Thread  (Read 540827 times)

knutor

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1770 on: June 21, 2020, 11:49:57 am »

sheriff/captain of the guard
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"I don't often drink Mead, but when I do... I prefer Dee Eef's.  -The most interesting Dwarf in the World.  Stay thirsty, my friend.
Shark Dentistry, looking in the Raws.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1771 on: June 21, 2020, 02:29:44 pm »

Captain of the Gourd. He squashes anyone who threatens the fort's vegetables.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2020, 02:32:56 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

nezclaw

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1772 on: June 21, 2020, 03:00:59 pm »

have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1773 on: June 21, 2020, 03:02:03 pm »

have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt
depending on where the dirt they’re chewing is, they can get infected with various parasites
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Azerty

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1774 on: June 21, 2020, 03:21:16 pm »

have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt

And they should use their farts as weapons.
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"Just tell me about the bits with the forest-defending part, the sociopath part is pretty normal dwarf behavior."

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1775 on: June 21, 2020, 03:27:39 pm »

have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt
Dwarves who engage in this activity are eventually able to spew gravel at will as a breath weapon. However, doing so causes severe internal damage. Furthermore, military dwarves spew gravel at all times, especially when civilians are nearby. Have !!FUN!!.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1776 on: June 21, 2020, 07:01:42 pm »

have we done the suggestion of the dwarves tunneling the way they do in artemis fowl? no picks just chewing through the dirt
That's a blast from the past (literally, if memory serves). I remember the neighbour's kid lending me those books a few years ago (tit-for-tat with me lending him some Pratchetts, at least one valuable copy of which I never got back). Interesting concepts. Even more interesting were the hidden codes incorporated into the books, that you could easily miss or dismiss.

Thus, new terrible suggestion: Important game information is conveyed to the user by cryptographic symbology, one each at the bottom of each status window/dialogue/etc you open. Only by rigorously noting these down (and then by applying a frequency check and some substitution guesswork on what you accumulate) can you properly progress further into the game.
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King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1777 on: June 22, 2020, 06:55:46 am »

Everything in game is written in code and needs a special decoder ring, and this ring costs $35.99 and is only available in the US and you have to wait 5 to 6 weeks for delivery.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
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LordBaal

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1778 on: June 22, 2020, 11:15:26 am »

The ring comes in boxes of Dwarfi-o-s. Cereal shaped and flavored on the theme of DF. Its random and only 10% if the boxes have one. its 35.99$ each box.
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My ship exploded midflight, but all the shrapnel totally landed on Alpha Centauri before anyone else did.  Bow before me world leaders!

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1779 on: June 22, 2020, 11:25:35 am »

Sometimes when dwarves enter a secretive mood, they can craft a Decoder Ring, but you’re not going to know what materials are needed for it until the artifact is crafted. The description of the secretive artifact will provide clues about what materials are needed for the ring, but there will be riddles. Every single artifact description is riddles
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1780 on: June 22, 2020, 11:37:03 am »

When a dwarf crafts an artifact, every single entity in the world makes a claim on it.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1781 on: June 22, 2020, 01:18:27 pm »

When a dwarf crafts an artifact, every single entity in the world makes a claim on it.
Furthermore, all those entities keep fighting each other for said artifact(s). And you, of course.

nik the dwarf

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1782 on: June 22, 2020, 06:19:42 pm »

Annoyed units will hurl insults at one another. These insults must be generated like their preferences, using detested vermin and such. All such insults follow the format, "Your mother was a (random vermin) and your father smelled of (random food)!"

Every insult ever used or heard is listed at the top of the unit's thought screen, to be dwelled upon until their personality changes.
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delphonso

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1783 on: June 22, 2020, 06:33:49 pm »

Forgeries:

Once an artifact is made, dwarves all over the world will start making cheap replicas which are hard to distinguish from the originals. Museums will be filled with fake copies.

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Suggestions Thread
« Reply #1784 on: June 23, 2020, 05:08:29 am »

The ring comes in boxes of Dwarfi-o-s. Cereal shaped and flavored on the theme of DF. Its random and only 10% if the boxes have one. its 35.99$ each box.
And in place of colourful marshmallows there should be bits of rock and metal.



Also I can only imagine that cereal would taste like blood and booze.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?
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