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[Bumber]

Dwarves periodically remove their asbestos clothing because it's uncomfortable. Especially when they're standing in !!magma!!, because they're uncomfortably warm.

[BigUglyWorm]

Dwarves periodically remove their asbestos clothing because it's uncomfortable. Especially when they're standing in !!magma!!, because they're uncomfortably warm.

Merciful Armok, they would, too.
"Whew, I'm toasty!  Better take off this--" [sounds of melting]

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Dwarves who melt due to !!magma!! explode in a gigantic greasy fireball which causes a large cloud of !!magma mist!! to form. The greasy fireball, meanwhile, is melting other dwarves, who also explode, ...

[BigUglyWorm]

Dwarves who melt due to !!magma!! explode in a gigantic greasy fireball which causes a large cloud of !!magma mist!! to form. The greasy fireball, meanwhile, is melting other dwarves, who also explode, ...

I'm imagining some unfortunate miner digging into a magma chamber and setting off the conga line of haulers behind them, who detonate in sequence like a huge, hairy chain of firecrackers until the chain reaction reaches either your great hall or your tavern.  (Also, you have the most honest username of anyone on this forum, and for that, I commend you)

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

I'm imagining some unfortunate miner digging into a magma chamber and setting off the conga line of haulers behind them, who detonate in sequence like a huge, hairy chain of firecrackers until the chain reaction reaches either your great hall or your tavern.

laughter
(IDK about the most honest part, though it definitely isn't easy to be a competent fortress maker - there's so many things that can go wrong in your first week alone. But it's all part of the !!FUN!!, no?)

[BigUglyWorm]

(Indeed.  I am, myself, a badly incompetent fortress maker, but I thoroughly enjoy the spectacle of, say, watching a month-old fort get assaulted by a were-tapir and, whoops, there go everybody's arms!)

[knutor]

Put backpacks on scribes and scholars, to carry multiple books at once.

[Bumber]

Let all dwarves borrow books, but they get hammered if they don't return them in time or in good condition.

[King Zultan]

Everyone gets hammered if they even think of touching a book.

[Bumber]

Any time a dwarf thinks about books, a random book in the world bursts into flames.

This also applies to other items and creatures. It somehow even applies to ideas, resulting in severe brain damage to anyone who thinks about the idea, until the idea is burnt to ashes and ceases to exist.

This can include, for example, the concept of distance, resulting in dwarves attacking their comrades instead of the goblins on the other side of the world, and constant interruptions relating to dwarves' own hands becoming threateningly large when getting too close to their face!

[Starver]

Every dwarf has a book in them. Literally/viscerally.

[BigUglyWorm]

Everyone gets hammered if they even think of touching a book.

I was deeply confused until I realized you meant hammered as in punished, not hammered as in drunk.

Also: dwarves get black-out drunk from thinking about books, for some reason.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Everyone gets hammered if they even think of touching a book.

I was deeply confused until I realized you meant hammered as in punished, not hammered as in drunk.

Also: dwarves get black-out drunk from thinking about books, for some reason.

Dwarves who black out due to being drunk on thoughts of books also attract swarms of undead mosquitoes for no apparent reason, even in neutral or good areas. Said mosquitoes will attempt to suck said dwarves dry, but if said dwarves wake up, the mosquitoes disappear in the span of .1 millisecond or so.

[knutor]

Before said, skeeter, disaapears, a minute before the .1 ms, it will squirt a fully completed suduko puzzle on the nearest smoothed wall in alcohol laced blood droplets for the CotG to investigate.

[Naturegirl1999]

Before said, skeeter, disaapears, a minute before the .1 ms, it will squirt a fully completed suduko puzzle on the nearest smoothed wall in alcohol laced blood droplets for the CotG to investigate.

What is CotG?