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[Naturegirl1999]

Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.

Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.


Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer

this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about

Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.
That would be a vilanious scheme of Toady to popularise math.

interesting. What happens when there is an error?

[LordBaal]

The player that made the game determinate as the cause of the error to trigger gets terminated, in real life. Either that or some random person gets selected from a random wheel.

[Huntthetroll]

Toady lets loose a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!

Toady has created DWARF FORTRESS: THE FILTH AND SQUALOR UPDATE.

• All living creatures now produce feces some time after eating. This is a contaminant that collects in piles, much like vomit. An exposed pile of feces on an inside tile will emit miasma. As with other contaminants, rain will remove feces from an exposed tile or wash it off an exposed creature onto the ground.
• By default, piles of feces are targeted by the Cleaning labor. You can set where your dwarves will clean up feces using the standing orders function. Pasture zones also have an option to gather manure, which can be toggled on and off. When this option is on, "Gather Manure" jobs will be autogenerated at a farmer's workshop and can be completed by any dwarf with the Animal Care labor enabled, using any empty bag. This job will not grant any experience in animal caretaking. Any feces stored in bags will not generate miasma.
• Dwarves can get bad thoughts from getting feces on their bodies or clothes, with the possibility of getting such a thought influenced by a particular dwarf's personality (vain, polite and immodest dwarves are more likely to get these thoughts). Getting feces on any body part with an open wound will increase the chance that the wound will become infected. Feces, like other contaminants, can be removed from a dwarf's body by the "Clean Self" or "Clean Patient" job.
• Removing contaminants other than water or snow from an item is now done via the "Clean Item" job, which requires a bucket of water and sometimes a clean cloth. After being used for cleaning a certain number of times, the water in the bucket will become stagnant and must be emptied before the bucket can be used again. Dwarves will prefer to clean owned items, especially those that they are wearing, as well as hospital supplies. Dwarves with orderly personalities will seek items to clean more often.
• You can designate a latrine zone above a body of water so that your dwarves can defecate and empty buckets of stagnant water there. Otherwise, dwarves will do their business whenever and wherever the need arises, and will often receive bad thoughts for doing so. Water that covers a pile of feces will automatically become stagnant.
• Buildings that require fuel to do jobs, such as furnaces and forges, now produce smoke on one of their tiles when in use. To keep this smoke from enveloping the building, the building must be ventilated; i.e. there must be a tile of open space above the smoke-producing tile and a clear path from the open space to any outside tile. Dwarves stuck on smoky tiles will receive bad thoughts and can eventually asphyxiate if they remain there long enough; their bodies and worn items can become coated in ash.
• Items made of cloth, leather, wood or iron can develop wear due to rot or rust if coated with water for long enough.
• Contagious diseases have been implemented in dwarf mode and adventurer mode as procedurally generated transmissible syndromes. Airborne diseases can spread from an affected creature to a creature on the same tile or an adjacent tile, while contact-borne diseases can only spread among creatures on the same tile. Dwarves can also get epidemic diseases from being bitten by certain vermin, such as mosquitoes and rats; from drinking stagnant water, eating rotten food, or eating vermin; or from bodily contact with certain contaminants, such as feces (in other words, getting them in the eyes or the mouth).
• The prevalence and spread of contagious diseases is tracked during world generation, sometimes causing outbreaks that are recorded as significant events. Factors affecting the likelihood of an outbreak in a given site include local biomes, local animal populations, hygiene (the presence of sewers and/or rivers can improve public health) and trade links. Notably, contagious diseases can significantly reduce the population of goblin civilizations, who tend to settle in swamps. Elves, being at peace with nature, are immune to all contagious diseases. Infected historical figures can be encountered in both dwarf mode and adventure mode, where they can infect your dwarves or your adventurer if you're particularly unlucky.
• If and only if you have a chief medical dwarf in fort mode, any diagnosis of contagious disease will generate an announcement, and you can view descriptions of each disease that your doctors have diagnosed from the health tab of the fort status screen. Otherwise, you may not notice an outbreak until several dwarfs are dead or otherwise incapacitated.

[LordBaal]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Toady lets loose a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!

Toady has created DWARF FORTRESS: THE FILTH AND SQUALOR UPDATE.

• All living creatures now produce feces some time after eating. This is a contaminant that collects in piles, much like vomit. An exposed pile of feces on an inside tile will emit miasma. As with other contaminants, rain will remove feces from an exposed tile or wash it off an exposed creature onto the ground.
• By default, piles of feces are targeted by the Cleaning labor. You can set where your dwarves will clean up feces using the standing orders function. Pasture zones also have an option to gather manure, which can be toggled on and off. When this option is on, "Gather Manure" jobs will be autogenerated at a farmer's workshop and can be completed by any dwarf with the Animal Care labor enabled, using any empty bag. This job will not grant any experience in animal caretaking. Any feces stored in bags will not generate miasma.
• Dwarves can get bad thoughts from getting feces on their bodies or clothes, with the possibility of getting such a thought influenced by a particular dwarf's personality (vain, polite and immodest dwarves are more likely to get these thoughts). Getting feces on any body part with an open wound will increase the chance that the wound will become infected. Feces, like other contaminants, can be removed from a dwarf's body by the "Clean Self" or "Clean Patient" job.
• Removing contaminants other than water or snow from an item is now done via the "Clean Item" job, which requires a bucket of water and sometimes a clean cloth. After being used for cleaning a certain number of times, the water in the bucket will become stagnant and must be emptied before the bucket can be used again. Dwarves will prefer to clean owned items, especially those that they are wearing, as well as hospital supplies. Dwarves with orderly personalities will seek items to clean more often.
• You can designate a latrine zone above a body of water so that your dwarves can defecate and empty buckets of stagnant water there. Otherwise, dwarves will do their business whenever and wherever the need arises, and will often receive bad thoughts for doing so. Water that covers a pile of feces will automatically become stagnant.
• Buildings that require fuel to do jobs, such as furnaces and forges, now produce smoke on one of their tiles when in use. To keep this smoke from enveloping the building, the building must be ventilated; i.e. there must be a tile of open space above the smoke-producing tile and a clear path from the open space to any outside tile. Dwarves stuck on smoky tiles will receive bad thoughts and can eventually asphyxiate if they remain there long enough; their bodies and worn items can become coated in ash.
• Items made of cloth, leather, wood or iron can develop wear due to rot or rust if coated with water for long enough.
• Contagious diseases have been implemented in dwarf mode and adventurer mode as procedurally generated transmissible syndromes. Airborne diseases can spread from an affected creature to a creature on the same tile or an adjacent tile, while contact-borne diseases can only spread among creatures on the same tile. Dwarves can also get epidemic diseases from being bitten by certain vermin, such as mosquitoes and rats; from drinking stagnant water, eating rotten food, or eating vermin; or from bodily contact with certain contaminants, such as feces (in other words, getting them in the eyes or the mouth).
• The prevalence and spread of contagious diseases is tracked during world generation, sometimes causing outbreaks that are recorded as significant events. Factors affecting the likelihood of an outbreak in a given site include local biomes, local animal populations, hygiene (the presence of sewers and/or rivers can improve public health) and trade links. Notably, contagious diseases can significantly reduce the population of goblin civilizations, who tend to settle in swamps. Elves, being at peace with nature, are immune to all contagious diseases. Infected historical figures can be encountered in both dwarf mode and adventure mode, where they can infect your dwarves or your adventurer if you're particularly unlucky.
• If and only if you have a chief medical dwarf in fort mode, any diagnosis of contagious disease will generate an announcement, and you can view descriptions of each disease that your doctors have diagnosed from the health tab of the fort status screen. Otherwise, you may not notice an outbreak until several dwarfs are dead or otherwise incapacitated.

You know, this is the terrible suggestions thread, not the "features suggestions that totally should be implemented" one.

[Nordlicht]

I'm quite sure something similar has already been suggested several times.

[Criperum]

Cloth and armor wear is already in the game just not water dependent and diseases I'm 99% sure are already planned and will be implemented some day. So try harder

[Criperum]

Dwarven AI is replaced with real players.

Every tick they get send an E-Mail about the current situation and if everyone has send an answer with the action their dwarf should do back the next tick will be calculated.


Play-per-mail-massive-multiplayer

this sounds like a cool suggestion, actually, how will reproduction work, though? Maybe if a player wants to join, they select a pair of parents, and those parents get a “quest” to reproduce, not sure how forgotten beasts would come about

Game calculation is also made via email. Players receive calculation tasks they have to solve and send back. When everything is calculated the game tick ends.
That would be a vilanious scheme of Toady to popularise math.

interesting. What happens when there is an error?

https://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Insanity one of those to the person who dared to make a mistake.

[Huntthetroll]

I'm quite sure something similar has already been suggested several times.

Sure, people have mentioned poop quite a few times before, especially given that it's one of the few essentials of real life that Toady has refused to model in the game. But no one has ever speculated the horrifying lengths that someone as obsessively detail-oriented as Toady could go to if he did decide to model it, or combined it with smoke and disease to make your dwarves' lives that much shittier (pun intended). I started thinking about how filthy, smelly, smoky and generally unhealthy an underground fortress would be without proper ventilation and hygiene, and couldn't stop typing until I had brought it to life in all of its hideous, nauseating detail.

Edit: Plus, I made elves immune to diseases, no matter how little they clean up their own shit. How many other DF players have ever said to themselves, "You know, what this game really needs is for the elves to be even more insufferable?"

Edit 2: I haven't even thought through all the possible ramifications of this yet. Already, one of the "spheres" where a powerful being like a god, demon or megabeast can have influence is called "muck." All that's needed is a few modifications to the in-game languages and hey presto!

The forgotten beast Filthspurts the Defecation of Diarrhea has come! A towering blob composed of feces. It has a bloated appearance and there is a foul reek about it. Beware its noxious secretions!

[Azerty]

Toady lets loose a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!

Toady has created DWARF FORTRESS: THE FILTH AND SQUALOR UPDATE.

This is actually a good idea.

One way to make it terrible would be some dwarves loving to spread filth and refuse across the fortress, never bathing.

[Huntthetroll]

I guess people in this thread generally prefer suggestions that are terrible for the player rather than terrible for the characters.

Nonetheless, I've had yet another awful idea. Instead of implementing latrine zones as a separate type of activity zone, a pit or pond could be designated as a latrine, which would make all tiles at the bottom exempt from the cleaning labor. Now you can torment captive creatures, such as invaders or lawbreaking citizens, by allowing your dwarves to literally shit on them.

...This is honestly starting to remind me of the mermaid farming thread.

[delphonso]

I can't imagine how bad fortresses smell already. Now we're adding shit to the mix?

Dog parasites:
Dogs kept on an unhealthy diet of nothing (I guess they eat dirt?) Will start to develop parasites such as fleas and worms. Such effects include spreading it to dwarves and other animals. Soon dwarves are walking at quarter speed as they sit on the floor and drag their ass against the carpet.

[Reelya]

I'm quite sure something similar has already been suggested several times.

Sure, people have mentioned poop quite a few times before, especially given that it's one of the few essentials of real life that Toady has refused to model in the game. But no one has ever speculated the horrifying lengths that someone as obsessively detail-oriented as Toady could go to if he did decide to model it, or combined it with smoke and disease to make your dwarves' lives that much shittier (pun intended). I started thinking about how filthy, smelly, smoky and generally unhealthy an underground fortress would be without proper ventilation and hygiene, and couldn't stop typing until I had brought it to life in all of its hideous, nauseating detail.

Edit: Plus, I made elves immune to diseases, no matter how little they clean up their own shit. How many other DF players have ever said to themselves, "You know, what this game really needs is for the elves to be even more insufferable?"

Edit 2: I haven't even thought through all the possible ramifications of this yet. Already, one of the "spheres" where a powerful being like a god, demon or megabeast can have influence is called "muck." All that's needed is a few modifications to the in-game languages and hey presto!

The forgotten beast Filthspurts the Defecation of Diarrhea has come! A towering blob composed of feces. It has a bloated appearance and there is a foul reek about it. Beware its noxious secretions!

You know, for the "dwarves will shit anywhere" issue, the game could keep track of how often a specific tile is pathed through, similar to the pheremone trails in SimAnt, then dwarves who need to shit could look for unused tiles off of commonly-traveled routes, and they could favor blocked in locations (i.e. with 1 or more trees adjacent or in a narrow or dead end tunnel. So they tend to shit near trees by a roadside for example, or they duck into a little-used side tunnel for a quick shit. Would give a nice realistic touch.

[Huntthetroll]

I can't imagine how bad fortresses smell already. Now we're adding shit to the mix?

Don't forget choking clouds of smoke from any poorly ventilated furnaces!

Dog parasites:
Dogs kept on an unhealthy diet of nothing (I guess they eat dirt?) Will start to develop parasites such as fleas and worms. Such effects include spreading it to dwarves and other animals. Soon dwarves are walking at quarter speed as they sit on the floor and drag their ass against the carpet.

Gold. Any creatures that eat vermin should be vulnerable to parasite infestation and zoonotic disease infection. This includes cats as well as many birds.

Edit: How could I have forgotten yet another use for dung: you can burn it! Obviously, you would have to dry it out first. This could happen naturally to manure exposed to the sun in hot and dry weather, but you could do it much more efficiently using the "Make Dung Cake" job at a wood furnace. It can easily replace wood as a source of fuel if you're willing to tolerate the additional bad thoughts that crop up among dwarves who have to handle feces.

[BigUglyWorm]

Edit: Plus, I made elves immune to diseases, no matter how little they clean up their own shit. How many other DF players have ever said to themselves, "You know, what this game really needs is for the elves to be even more insufferable?"

I'm now imagining elves as proper filthy, unwashed hippies, caked in their own excrement and exuding reeking clouds of miasma the moment they come inside.  They leave trails of filth as they wander through your fortress and contaminate any water they enter.  If they fight your citizens while unarmed, a single bite or scratch can cause a non-elf to collapse and die instantly from septic shock.

[Reelya]

Just No. The elves do poop, sweat etc. But their poop is strawberry ice-cream and their urine is creaming soda.