People are ready to fight!
Well, some people are ready to fight.
Some other people are ready to, like, eat.
And some are very much ready to fight in spirit, but not even slightly ready to actually fight.
Initiatives:
The Dude - 89
Stan - 72
The Punk - 65
The Prep - 64
The Nerd - 63
Fuze - 60
The Goth - 58
Dave - 52
John - 51
Rex - 43
The Jock - 37
Lulu - 15
The Dude looks at his wrist to check the time, and notes that the watch he has drawn on himself in Sharpie says that it is currently 4:20.
"Ayyyyy" he says.
This is quickly interrupted by two members of the
Red Team waltzing out of the Target, John and Fuze.
Despite still being a lil bit buzzed, he has enough common sense to fire at the less-military-trained person of the two, John. He grabs a tennis ball, lights it on fire, and loads it into his leaf blower, before launching it towards the grizzled detective, who
[5 vs. 4] reacts just late enough to get a hat full of fire. The ball knocks the hat clean of John's head, leaving a singed line through his scalp. It's not pretty, but it's also not life-threatening, so that's a plus.
Back inside the store,
Stan is panicking. Panicking because he's about to be attacked by young adults with a surprisingly high level of engineering ability, panicking because he's without any way to make beautiful art, and maybe also panicking because that's just how it be sometimes.
But at the very least, he realizes in this panic that he needs some way to defend himself. Running off to the crafting section of Target, he finds
[3] not much. The closes he can seem to find is the school supply section, which has a remarkable number of pairs of safety scissors, as well as some compasses from some geometry kits. He grabs a
messenger bag and stuffs what he can find (About
3 compasses and 6 pairs of scissors) inside. Clearly, he is ready to fight.
The Punk leaps into action, taking advantage of the previous attack on John. He swings his lightbulbs wildly at him and
[1 vs. 4] trip over a decorative plant, falling flat on his face, mussing up his mohawk in the process. Frustrated, he gets back up and returns to the back of the pack.
Seeing that nobody else is having much luck,
The Prep steps up to the plate, quite literally. She sets down a golf ball, readies a swing and chips the ball directly towards Fuze! The ball
[6 vs. 6] goes just a little bit too wide, allowing him to catch it neatly in his hand. Somewhere, a crowd goes wild. And hey, free
golf ball!
The Nerd continues to stare at her phone, occasionally glancing over at John. She smirks, and looks back at the screen.
[5 vs. 6] She drops the phone. Cursing, she picks it up and carefully makes sure to check for major cracks and scratches.
Taking this moment to launch a surprise attack,
Fuze leaps into action! He gets down low and tries to sneak across the atrium.
[2] But since it's an extremely wide-open area without any places to actually hide, the Blue Team pretty much just stares him down as he crawls across the ground. It especially doesn't help that he's still wearing the
loudest outfit in the world.
The Goth sees through this weak-ass attempt at stealth, and quickly tosses a knife at Fuze.
[1 vs. 5] However, it quickly becomes apparent that her ability at throwing knives is similar to Fuze's ability to become invisible, i.e. nonexistant. The knife lands harmlessly next to him, giving him to opportunity to grab it and
[1 vs. 1] throw it wide. The knife lands in a nearby fountain and both parties succeed in looking stupid.
Back inside the store, things are getting note, most notably by
Dave, who remembers the classic Sun Tzu quote: "The Best Offense Is A Good Attitude" or something like that. Look, it doesn't matter.
He quickly grabs a portable DVD player off a shelf, yknow, one of the ones with a built-in screen. He also manages to find some decent flicks in the bargain bin, despite how little money actually matters right now. He fishes out a copy of The Replacements, a movie about a ragtag team of misfits coming together to play a sport, and The Hunger Games, a movie about a ragtag group of people being forced to kill each other for sport. It's a little bit on the nose, but it works. He takes this new
Inspiring Double-Feature and heads off in search of the others.
Back in the atrium, lots of thing are being thrown and very few things are connecting.
John intends to correct this by throwing one of his beer bottles at
The Prep.
[4 vs. 6] It lands a little bit short though, and instead of showering her in shattered glass, it only manages to spray her shoes with crappy beer. It makes her just as angry as if he had actually hit her, however. Because, like, she JUST bought those, and even though they were
technically paid for by her father they're
still designer and it's just
mean.
Rex has never been around this much food at once and honestly it's kind of overwhelming. The urge to eat it all is...it's just too much!
So he
[6] grabs the basket from Lulu and runs off in search of a quiet place to eat all of it. What he finds instead is the atrium where all the fighting is taking place. He puts the basket down and
[3 +1] barks! Everyone stops and looks at him! They all smile because wow! What a good boy!
Then they go back to fighting, starting with
The Jock lighting one of his firecrackers and slamming it directly at Fuze with a world-class slapshot. Fuze
[6 Vs. 1] catches is like the Russian goalie he is at heart! Except he didn't catch a puck.
He caught a lit explosive.
That takes
A chunk of his hand, his pinkie, and his index finger off when it blows up. He yelps as he gets blood all over his crappy Hawaiian shirt, making it look...well, it already had a lot of red on it so it still looks like a crappy Hawaiian shirt.
Lulu [3] realizes a little too late that she is no longer carrying her basket of food, and the only thing she has left is her bag of chips. She shrugs, and wanders around the store some more, ultimately finding herself in the pet food section, but with no toys in sight. At the very least, she dumps out the rest of the chips to fashion the bag into some sort of
Aluminum Garotte. So it wasn't a total loss.
Sorry for the wait guys! Hope this is somewhat worth it! If you have any questions, lmk.
Author
Topic: Mall Fight: The Inferno - Chapter 0: Where There's Smoke (Read 8985 times)