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[Hotfire90]

Fly to a nearby roof and fire a short burst at the closest player.

[TamerVirus]

Edit: Also! Question for Tamervirus, if we know something about the setting of the battle(say in this case we've played the game before) that isn't mentioned in the description of the map, could we use that information or would that count as metagaming?

This Delfino Plaza isn't quite a 1-to-1 facsimile to the one in Super Mario Sunshine. Players can end up in shops or stores that quite blatantly didn't exist in the source material.
Just put it down as an action and hope you get a good enough roll.
The meta-gaming rule is more so that you don't gank other players unfairly.

Waiting for actions of: piratejoe, Dubloon, two_eternities

[Doubloon-Seven]

Command the Kestrel Man to fly up to be at the ready in the event of a direct attack on my person. Transform my arm into a drill to soar up into the air on an arc toward the Tactical Nun, axe at the ready for a swift decapitation.

[piratejoe]

I laughed at the start of all this, seeing the attack directed at me, or at least one of my allies, that I could so easily turn against them. So, I did just that and made Doubloon-Seven's drill arm brittle, then attempted to break said drill, and possibly by extension, his arm. He probably didn't think this one through.

[The_Two_Eternities]

Throw the basketball at one of the people next to me, then tackle them.

[TamerVirus]

Round 1
Turn 1
Things that go Splat
___________________________________________

Using her superior flight speed, Failbird105 shoots up into the sky just as the plaza below erupts into chaotic violence and potential litigation. A small pool of equine blood remains where the blue Wiki-Warrior once stood. With clear view of the Warriors below her, Failbird decides to give the wheelchair bound King Zultan an offer he can’t refuse! Fun fact for y’all: A horse’s head constitutes roughly 10% of its body weight. On average, that’s over a hundred pounds!  Getting hit with a weighty chunk of anything at this height is bound to cause serious injury. For sure.  Now to get the aim just right...

Meanwhile, back on the ground, NRDL casts his luminous gaze on King Zultan. The handicapped Wiki-Warrior, correctly anticipating the threats against his personal well-being, activates his wheelchair’s special functions. Assisted by the miracle of technology, King Zultan rises from his knees. The man can walk again! The wheelchair has converted into Accuser Power Armor, a purple and gold protective suit with additional built in Abilities. Not content with just one outfit, Zultan activates his blob stand: Yellow Temperance! (3) He ends up looking like a cheap imitation of NRDL under that power armor. 

Heh! NRDL was waiting just for this opportunity! The Lucha Warrior points dramatically at King Zultan and ... INTERRUPTION! ... A horse head falls out of the sky, tumbling furiously towards Zultan! (4v7) The severed part collides against the stone floor and explodes into gore! Bits of mangled horse brain, skull, and blood rain on those caught in the splash zone. Completely undeterred, NRDL says the magic words. “YOU VIOLATED MY RIGHTS!” A suit clad Pianta rushes out a nearby building and over to NRDL. “I smell a lawsuit!” (5v9) “You see that, uh, power suit guy over there? The one next to those thugs? He is totally violating my wrestling copyright!”  “Right….” The lawyer isn’t convinced and disappears back into the build from which he came. Darn it!

Failbird isn’t the only Warrior in the sky as Hotfire and Dubloon’s Kestrel ally both take to the skies. Hotfire jets to a nearby roof and unleashes a ten round burst at Two Eternities! (2v4) The Pro B-Baller jukes away from the lead shower, unharmed!

piratejoe sets down his spoiled lobster on top of his Polystation and folds his arms. Waiting. Anticipating  Looking kinda smug. The tactical nun takes a taunting, yet seductive pose. Dubloon wides up a punch (8.) and with some quick calculations, throws a calculated right hook. As Dubloon throws his fist, the Wiki-Warrior’s arm quickly morphs  into a large mining drill. Like a curveball, Dubloon flies past the statue and right towards the nun. With axe in hand, Dubloon looks like he’s planning a drive by beheading. Piratejoe moves to induce some hydrogen damage in the drill.(1) But he’s way too slow! Dubloon is quickly upon the nun! (8v1) The nun was clearly caught off guard as she unceremoniously joins the unidentified horse in the “Having no head” society. Dubloon’s axe glows with power. It is most pleased! Dubloon keeps on going, however, as the drill drags the Wiki Warrior into the lobby of a nearby bell-tower and embedding itself in the far wall.

0cra_tr0per decides that he’d really rather participate in a different sort of Battle Royale: online auctions! As he runs out of the plaza and toward the market district, Two Eternities tries to blitz the basketball into 0cra's squishy fly head!(2+4v8) Two Eternities mistimes his throw; the basketball rebounds off a tree and back into your hands. The Man-Fly and his wrestler friend run off into town, leaving The Two Eternities slightly miffed at the whole situation.

The rabble on the streets, disgusted and wanting nothing to with this unsightly Warrior, give the Man-Fly a wide berth. (5) With Pat Patterson following close, the repugnant Wiki-Warrior ducks into a cafe. Obviously it must be an internet cafe, right?
Wrong! It’s just plain old pastry and drinks cafe. Not a computer to be found. Your sudden entrance has cause quite a commotion, however! Drinks spill to the floor as store employees and customers try to come to terms with the creature in their presence. “What the hell is that?” “Monster!” “Don’t get any closer!” A nearby Toad faints from sheer fright. Your feelings are a bit hurt. They just don’t get it! It's really tough being a fusion of man and fly! Pat Patterson gives you a reassuring, uh, pat on the shoulder.

… D.E.B.S. ALERT… There have been sporadic reports of gunfire coming from the Bianco Square. Residents are advised to stay away for their own safety...

_______________________________________________________________________________

Spoiler: Hotfire90 (click to show/hide)

Name: Hotfire90
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
Status: fine

Gary Hebl : +2 Legal, +3 Politics +Ability:Insurance Salesman
(20) Submachine Gun: +Asset: Submachine Gun (100/100)
(34) Grandma’s Coffin:  +2 Digging +Asset: Shovel +Ability: Premature Burial
(39) Cuánto Cabrón: +3 Meme making, +Asset: Jetpack +Asset: Top Hat, +Asset: Monocle
(20) Water Gun+Asset: Water Gun (30/30)

Assets:
Submachine Gun (90/100), Shovel, Jetpack, Top Hat, Monocle, Water Gun (30/30)
Abilities:
Insurance Salesman: Can attempt to ‘insure’ NPCs. Player will receive a money premium each turn the Insured NPC is alive. [Max 5 NPCs]
Premature Burial: Summon a coffin. Any character placed, willingly or unwillingly, in this coffin will be subsequently buried alive! [3 turn cooldown after successful burial]

Spoiler: The_Two_Eternities (click to show/hide)

Name:The_Two_Eternities
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
Status: fine

Tornadoes of 2015: +Ability: There’s a Storm Coming
(10) LeBron James: +4 Basketball, +Asset: Basketball +Asset: 3 NBA Championship Rings
(28) Greater Healing Scroll:+Asset: Greater Healing Scroll
(32) Geese Howard: +2 Business Administration, +3 Martial Arts, +Ability:Reppuuken, +Ability:Raging Storm
(40) Logopedia  -> Pepsi Boom : +Asset: six-pack of Pepsi Boom

Assets:
Basketball, 3 NBA Championship Rings, six-pack of Pepsi Boom
{Greater Healing Scroll: Target recovers from egregious medical harm.(1 use)}
Abilities:
There’s a Storm Coming: Call down a tornado of varying strength to ravage the area. [4 turn cooldown after end of tornado]
Reppuken: Create a damaging chi energy wave that travels in a straight line in front of you.
Raging Storm: Create a damaging pillar of energy around you (1 turn cooldown)

Spoiler: Failbird105 (click to show/hide)

Name:Failbird105
Gender: Female
Nationality: Canadian
Status: Fine

Transonic : +Ability:Supersonic Flight +Trait:Uncanny Appearance
(16) Bloody Horse Head: +Asset: Freshly decapitated horse head
(35) Sly and the Family Stone: +3 Funk Music  +Ability: Dance to the Music! +Asset: Greatest Hits Vinyl LP
(24) Poseidon’s Bell: +Asset:Poseidon’s Bell
(37) Kama: +2 Crop Harvesting +Asset: Kama

Assets:
Vinyl LP: SLy and the Family Stone Greatest Hits, Kama,
{Poseidon’s Bell: Generates a protective, weather immune field around the holder. Can be mounted on ships.}
Abilities:
Supersonic Flight: Player can fly at really fast speed
Dance to the Music!: Can compel characters in close proximity to dance if sufficiently funky music is playing
Trait:
Uncanny Appearance: Player has obvious mutant appearance (blue scaly skin)

Spoiler: Dubloon-Seven (click to show/hide)

Name:Dubloon-Seven
Gender: Male
Nationality: German
Status:fine, +1 Speed [decapitation buff]

Michael Willmann: +4 Baroque Painting +Asset: Painting:Orpheus playing a harp
(26) Drill : +Ability: Drill Arm
(9) Peter Petrelli (Villains future): +Ability: Power Mimic
(31) Kestrel Man: +Ally: Kestrel Man
(14) Horseless Headless Horsemann: +Asset: Headtaker +Trait:Jack-O-lantern head.

Assets:
Painting: Orpheus playing a harp.
{Headtaker:Wicked axe that confers +1 speed with successful decapitation, (Max +5)}
Abilities:
Drill Arm: Player can turn arm into an active large drill. This drill will drag the player continuously forward until player collides with wall or disengages drill. When disengaged, drill will be launched as projectile (1 turn cooldown) [CD 1]
Power Mimic: Player can ‘learn’ and use another player’s ability if in close proximity (max 2 ability) Player will lose copied Ability when not in range
Trait:
Jack-O-lantern Head: Player’s head is replaced with an eerie glowing carved pumpkin.
Ally:
Kestrel Man(status:fine) A person with the head and wings of a kestrel

Spoiler: King Zultan (click to show/hide)

Name:King Zultan
Gender: Male
Nationality: American
status:fine. Accuser Power Armor activated. Poorly mimicking NRDL

Leucophora: +Ability: Swarm Summon
(35) The Accuser: +2 Legal +Asset: Transforming wheelchair +Trait:Paraplegic
(35) Jesse Eisenberg: +1 Voice Acting, +3 Acting +Asset: DVD copy of The Social Network
(18) Yellow Temperance: +Stand: Yellow Temperance
(7) SAnitY: +2 Pro Wrestling +2 Tag Team Attack +Ally:Killian Dain +Ally:Alexander Wolfe

Assets:
DVD of The Social Network
{Transforming Wheelchair: a wheelchair that is able to turn into power armor around the player.}
    -> Accuser Power Armor :Provides enhanced defense and mobility to user. Converts back to wheelchair after sustained damage. Has additional built-in features
                          +Ability: Saw Blade Shield: The armor is able to produce a spinning shield out of the forearm. Raver sharp and can deflect bullets
                          +Ability: Grappling Hook: Armor has built in grappling hook for increased maneuverability
Abilities:
Swarm Summon: Create a concentrated swarm of root-maggot flies. Effective against vegetation (2 turn cooldown)
Stand:
Yellow Temperance: Amorphous blob creature bound to player’s body. Can be used to: assimilate organic matter, mimic the appearance of other characters, and as body armor
Trait:
Paraplegic: Player has lost usage of their legs and cannot walk via normal means
Allies:
Killian Dain (steel chair. Status: fine)- A big, burly, and violent wrestler. Teammates with Alexander Wolfe
Alexander Wolfe (status: fine): An unhinged and unpredictable anarchist wrestler. Teammates with Killian Dain

Spoiler: NRDL (click to show/hide)

Name:NRDL
Gender: Male
Nationality: Unknown
Status: fine

Tornero Gran Alternativa (2009): +3 Lucha Libre +Asset: Lucha mask +Asset: CMLL World Heavyweight Championship Belt
(25)Fosh Beary : +Asset: 5 Combustible Lemons +Trait:Lemon Factory
(19)HG 40: +Asset: HG 40 SMG (32/32)
(13)Touhou Smash Battles: +Asset: $10,000 +Ability: That violates my copyright!
(29)Trisagion: +Ability: Smiting Light

Assets:
Lucha mask, CMLL Belt, 5 Combustible Lemons, HG 40 SMG (32/32), $10000
Abilities:
That violates my copyright!: Accuse a character of using your content without permission! If successful, character will be assaulted by randomly spawning lawyers! (3 turn cooldown) (CD 3)
Smiting Light: Player can shoot blasts of searing light out of their eyes (once per turn)
Trait
Lemon Factory: Player, for lack of a better term, 'produces' Combustible Lemons (1 every 2 turns)

Spoiler: 0cra_tr0per (click to show/hide)

Name:0cra_tr0per
Gender: Male
Nationality:American
Status: fine

Gerald Brisco: +1 Pro Wrestling, +2 Eye for Talent, +2 Auto Repair, +Ally: Pat Patterson
(11) The Flood: +Ability: Gravemind. +Asset: Infectious vial of Flood spores
(12) Brundle Bundle: +3 Repair +2 Robotics +Asset: Wrench +Trait: Man-Fly
(8.) Volvo Viking: +Asset: Volvo L485 Viking heavy duty truck
(15) Defense Calling:+Ability: Barrier

Assets:
Volvo L485 Viking truck
{Vial of Flood spores: Contains mutagenic powder. Exposure is through physical contact. Infected characters quickly transform into a Flood abomination}.
Abilities:
Gravemind:Player is immune to and can control the actions of Flood creatures
Barrier:Player can project a protective barrier around themself or other objects, shielding against potential damage. (+2 to defense rolls for 2 turns. Does not affect counter-attack) (2 turn cooldown)
Trait:
Man-Fly: Player is a freakish hybrid of man and fly. Expect people to react accordingly
Ally:
Pat Patterson (Brass Knuckles. Status: fine)- Was the first WWE Intercontinental Champion back in the day. He's kinda old now, though.

Spoiler: piratejoe (click to show/hide)

Name: piratejoe
Gender:Male
Nationality: American
Status:fine

Hydrogen damage: +Ability: Metal degradation
(3)William Baker: +2 Burglary +Trait: Sandman
(20)Spoiled Lobster: +Asset: Spoiled Lobster +Ability: Induce Puking
(4)Super Polystation 2: +3 Counterfeiting +Asset: Boxed Super Polystation 2
(14)Jennifer Anne Paxton: +1 Close Combat. +Asset:Combat Knife +Asset:Rosary Garrote +Ally:Tactical Nun

Assets:
Spoiled Lobster. Boxed Polystation 2. Combat Knife. Rosary Garrote
Abilities:
Metal degradation: Player can induce brittleness in metals, making objects made of this material weaker
Induce Puking: Player can vomit on command
Trait:
Sandman: Player’s body is comprised of shape-shifting animated sand. Player has enhanced endurance, super-strength, ability to climb walls, and has enhanced strength. Vulnerable to water and high heat.
Ally:
Tactical Nun (Rosary Garrote,Combat Knife, Agency Dynamic CPW (30/30) status:DEAD): Lost her head

[NRDL]

I am so glad I'm fighting a Stand that I can actually see. Can I hurt it/hurt King Zultan through it?

Toss a combustible lemon at King Zultan, and while he's distracted SMITE him with my EYE LIGHT.

[Failbird105]

Alright, Delfino Plaza, if I remember right there should be...
Search for a Yoshi egg from up above.

[Hotfire90]

"It's over piratejoe! I have the high ground!"

Make memes and shoot piratejoe with both the submachine gun and the water gun.

[Screech9791]

So the NPCs are leaving.

Anyways, since I'm on the way to the market, buy a smoke grenade then mix flood spores into the smoke inside the grenade. After I'm done, chuck the flood grenade into a large crowd, cooking it perfectly to explode in people's faces.

[TamerVirus]

Hey 0cra, can you please bold your actions going forward?

With regards,
TamerVirus

[The_Two_Eternities]

Sneak after him and try to get ahead of him.

[King Zultan]

Activate my saw blade shield, then after he does the eye lasers shoot him the the grappling hook.

[piratejoe]

Needless to say, after that I was quite annoyed, so much so I tried to actually lunge at Dubloon and stab him in the head, hopefully carving him to bits.

[TamerVirus]

Waiting for: Dubloon-Seven