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[Umbra Dwarf]

You find yourself grabbing some fine, stock ale poured from a pine barrel and take a seat in a dark, dining hall with eight tables surrounded by other dwarfs. They are oddly quiet. Their beards only part to sip their brews as they all glance at one another from time to time. Clearly, none of the booze has hit, or has it?

A dwarf speaks up, breaking the cold silence. "As the broker for our lot, I confess I do not actually mind trading with Elves. Those Giant Tigers were easy to train for battle, and they give us better protection than dogs".

Silence breaks out once again for a moment. Another dwarf, one next to the trader speaks. "I must confess that I like the brew the humans make better than our own kins folk".

Another dwarf speak next to the last. "I am not actually a dwarf. I am short bearded human who enjoys working".

The following dwarf speaks. I confess that I much prefer drinking venom than ale. It has a better tang to my tongue, before it makes it and me go numb!" He takes a sip then his body stiffens and drops to the ground behind him.

The next dwarf speaks "As the doctor at our humble fortress, I confess I have been diagnosing venom overdoses as other aliments. Its easier on me that way. By the way, that dwarf just drank too much water . . . I suppose".

The next dwarf speaks "I think all of us dwarves are just hairy booze vampires" he says following a drink.

The group now look at you, awaiting what it is you will say, what you will reveal, what your bearded confession is. How do you respond?

[MottledPetrel]

You pull up your pants a little, tighten your belt, and swallow your dignity "Despite the fact that I'm a dwarf, I more often find myself overcome by the beauty of a serene forest glade whose silence is only broken by a bubbling stream than I do the hammering of metal over magma to the chorus of industry.". You look at the pine barrel that is still next to you, despite having been emptied of its contents "This barrel used to be a tree in that glade, and it bothers me that we clear cut that whole forest because it was easier when the masons could have made a perfectly fine -diorite rock pot- at the cost of probably 10 seconds more of their time.".

[GPeter]

I'm allergic to alcohol.

[PlumpHelmetMan]

"Apparently I had a one-night stand with a goblin that I don't remember, even now she won't stop writing to me."

[recneps]

I like having (_{hundreds of} )cats around.

[Splint]

"I prefer living on the surface." Another dwarf says, looking from side to side. "I think all the vomit makes us look uncivilized and makes our home look ugly. I also happen to quite like feather trees and highwoods. We should maybe try to get some to grow some by the gate?"

His helmet appears to have done its best to fuse with his beard at the last whispered statement.

[Dame de la Licorne]

From the back, a soft voice pipes up.  "(_{I agree with the elves.  I don't like to see mighty trees cut down.})  We have magma, why do we need to clearcut forests?  _{Just a few trees would meet our bed needs quite well.}"

Several dwarves crane their necks, trying to get a good look at the speaker, who looks like she just wants to melt into the floor.

[Iduno]

I like having (_{hundreds of} )cats around.

Great! We can use you in the kitchen, because I...I don't like mushrooms like plump helmets.

[Unknown72]

A taller bearded figure speaks up. "I don't think we really need alcohol. It just makes us slower and throw up a lot. It tastes terrible too. I much prefer water." He sinks into his seat as he finishes. "Also, I think killing elves and goblins and kobolds is wrong..."

[onciblu]

I also prefer living on surface. We cant just take everithing we need from underground and bring it all up

[Jdorf]

I...I think taking babies into battle is maybe kind of irresponsible parenting.

[DakkaDakka]

"I've been carrying a seed from one stockpile to another for three years and nobody has said anything."

[Ombragon]

"It was me who hauled a haunting dust coated papaya and almost started a haunting husk apocalypse in the deep fort"

[GPeter]

"It was me who hauled a haunting dust coated papaya and almost started a haunting husk apocalypse in the deep fort"

This one hit me pretty bad, I just lost a fort to a foul fog zombye apocalypse, thank you, now I'm sad

[Rethi-Eli]

"...I accidentally made an adamantine warhammer studded with rings of platinum. It was... it was supposed to be the other way around."