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Author Topic: a man  (Read 4524 times)

helmacon

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Re: a man
« Reply #45 on: July 10, 2018, 10:27:09 am »

Do not burn fedora. Get job at a newspaper. Put a piece of paper saying "reporter" on your fedora.
+1
+1
-1
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

Rockeater

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Re: a man
« Reply #46 on: July 10, 2018, 10:40:13 am »

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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

anaphaxeton

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"Permission to fight has been given to those who are being fought, because they were wronged. And indeed, Allah is competent to give them victory." -- The Quran, Sahih International 22:39.

“And when that day comes, I know you will move to the sound of the guns and do your duty, and you will fight, and you will win.” -- Mike Pence, to West Point graduates.

helmacon

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Re: a man
« Reply #48 on: July 10, 2018, 01:55:37 pm »

Yes, clean with fire.

+1, THEN GO TO A LOCAL GYM AFTER BURNING FEDORA!

PUMP THAT, GET SWOLE

DON'T FORGET TO PLAY PILLAR MEN THEME ON MY TAPE RECORDER FOR DOUBLING THE GAINS!
+1
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Science is Meta gaming IRL. Humans are cheating fucks.

PrivateNomad

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Re: a man
« Reply #50 on: July 10, 2018, 06:12:24 pm »

Your fedora...

Your very essence. Just by holding it, you can feel its power. But how could you enhance it?
You go down into the basement and tear a piece of paper from one of your hentai mangas, taking a crusty pen and writing down "REPORTER" across it. You then stick it on the brim of your fedora.

You have crafted a Fedora of Journalism +1.
You are now a reporter.

satisfied with the new enchantment to your fedora, you rise up from the basement, and take your fatass into the bathroom. taking a bottle of shampoo because you have no shaving cream (because you dont shave), you lather some on your dirty neckbeard and take your mom's razor, beginning to cut across it, and yourself. you take 1 damage from the razor. With some cuts on your neck, at least you are partially shaved of your neckbeard.

you gaze at yourself in the mirror, ready to begin your new life as a completely uneducated reporter. now, you begin to do the unthinkable

you start walking to the gym.

you arrive at the entrance of the large gym with one goal in mind: to become physically fit, and perhaps to even strengthen your own mental will. as you walk into the gym lobby, you are approached by two muscular jocks with smug grins on their face.
"Heya fattie, finally get off your lard-ass?" one said, approaching you. you sized him up. he was a lot taller than you

You sense their aura of aggression.

Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)

Doubloon-Seven

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Re: a man
« Reply #51 on: July 10, 2018, 07:30:42 pm »

Yes
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Avanti!

TamerVirus

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Re: a man
« Reply #52 on: July 10, 2018, 07:34:44 pm »

Take out the ham sandwich and maintain eye contact while slowly eating it
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What can mysteriously disappear can mysteriously reappear
*Shakes fist at TamerVirus*

scourge728

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Re: a man
« Reply #53 on: July 10, 2018, 09:51:17 pm »

Bribe them to leave you alone with the ham sandwich

Egan_BW

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Re: a man
« Reply #54 on: July 10, 2018, 11:13:30 pm »

Smile rapturously. Infect these poor fools with the horrible things we've put into our brain in our time on the internet.
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Rockeater

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Re: a man
« Reply #55 on: July 10, 2018, 11:44:33 pm »

Smile rapturously. Infect these poor fools with the horrible things we've put into our brain in our time on the internet.
+1 they won't outjerk us
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Damnit people, this is why I said to keep the truce. Because now everyone's ganging up on the cats.
Also, don't forget to contact your local Eldritch Being(s), so that they can help with our mission to destroy the universe.

CABL

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Re: a man
« Reply #56 on: July 11, 2018, 02:07:18 am »

Smile rapturously. Infect these poor fools with the horrible things we've put into our brain in our time on the internet.
+1 they won't outjerk us

+1, I've spent 2 years on /r/the_donald! Let's lower their intellect with barrage of unfunny "libtards owned XD" memes and buzzwords.

ALSO, LIFT WEIGHTS AND TURN ON THE TAPE RECORDER!
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

King Zultan

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Re: a man
« Reply #57 on: July 11, 2018, 04:49:36 am »

Use our fat lardass powers to eat the two jocks.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

pikachu17

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Re: a man
« Reply #58 on: July 11, 2018, 01:14:15 pm »

Remember that you ate a devil fruit. Turn into water and drown them.
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Sigtext!
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The Pikachu revolution!
Thank you NatureGirl19999 for the avatar switcher at http://signavatar.com

A warforged bard named Gender appears and says"Hello. I am a social construct."

Doomblade187

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Re: a man
« Reply #59 on: July 11, 2018, 01:16:19 pm »

Take out the ham sandwich and maintain eye contact while slowly eating it
+1
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.
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