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[Jerick]

The world has wronged you somehow and you wish to make as many people suffer as possible. It would be easy if you where some sort of dictator or gangster but you are a humble architect. But you can still use your skills to bring suffering to this wretched world!

You will be given design briefs for buildings you have to design and your goal is to make them the most unpleasant to occupy and use as you can. Once the thread has settled and decided on all the design features they wish to include and the general design of the building you will be graded on your efforts and given a new, different design brief. There are some restrictions to be aware of however:

• You're not actually trying to directly hurt people but to make their day to day lives as unpleasant as you can
• You have to be subtle, the buildings you design will need to pass basic inspections and obvious defects will be spotted easily before the building enters use and will count against you
• You have to make it look unintentional. The moment someone has clear evidence you are mis-designing buildings on purpose you'll be taken to court and won't be able to design anymore buildings
• If a design feature was particularly useful at imparting discomfort it'll be added to a list of things inspectors will look for in the future (vary your methods)

You will have complete control over the building and it's initial furnishings and decorations. If it's possible (and not too expensive) you can make any alterations or designs you wish. You will not however have control over the location.

First design brief:
Two story, three bedroom house.
A minimum of one bathroom, one kitchen and one living room are required.

Location: rural

Notes: Large garden area both front and back. Large distance from nearest town.

[King Zultan]

The exterior walls should be made of bricks with that are reinforced with rebar and have burglar bars on all the windows that are mounted in the brick work, the purpose of all of this is so that if the building catches fire it's built in such a way that it will inhibit the firefighters putting out the fire.

Also the living room should be big, but only have two outlets that are right next to each other.

[Screech9791]

Also the living room should be big, but only have two outlets that are right next to each other.

The outlets should be right behind the ideal couch/TV stand location. Make the couch it comes prefurnished with at said ideal couch location, and make it extremely heavy to piss off people trying to move it out of the way, or just secretly bolt it in place.

The power utility box thing that controls the building's power has an electronic lock but if it needs to be opened it has to be unscrewed.

[Doomblade187]

The house does not come with a refrigerator or freezer, and the closet that would work as a pantry is across the house from the kitchen. The garden area is quietly salted.

[Man of Paper]

The three bedrooms are built on the second floor in the north, eastern, and north-eastern sides. The North-eastern room can only be accessed by the other two bedrooms.

[Lenglon]

The building has a low-ceiling unfloored basement accessible only from the outside on the downhill side of the house through a wooden hatch. It has a single lightswitch in the center of the room operated by a pullstring.
The building's fusebox (not a breakerbox, one with actual fuses) is in the basement, on the uphillside wall, along with the hot water heater, and uses different fuse types for different parts of the house, dpending on the number of outlets and other expected devices in that area of the house.
The building has gutters along the roof.
The gutters all drain to the uphill side of the house.
The basement walls, since the basement is unfloored anyway, are not waterproof.
in heavy rains, the fusebox will get wet, and pop some fuses. they will need to be replaced by going outside through the rain, and then into the flooded basement, with a flashlight because the open hatch wont be able to provide enough light to see the pullstring of the lightswitch, see which fuses popped, grab the right ones, and go back into the basement to replace them, the whole time hoping random creatures haven't moved in to the likely-barely-used basement that might want to harass them while they're doing so.
Also, the septic tank, though well buried, has a poor seal and is directly in the path of the runoff after it moves away from the building. so it will fill up very quickly with rainwater.
there is a bathroom on both the upstairs and downstairs, and there are no one-way valves in the interconnected sewage pipes. so when the septic tank gets filled up, sewage from the upstairs bathroom can back up and come out the downstairs sink or bathtub drains. the upstairs bathroom is much fancier than the downstairs one.

[King Zultan]

I don't think that building codes would allow the fusebox to be in the crawlspace basement also I don't think fuseboxes are really a thing anymore, but everything else about your thing look good.

All of the HVAC vents and piping should be in the floor, there should be two in the living room one right where the couch should go and the other should be where the TV stand would go, then the one in the kitchen should be in front of the sink so after a long time the vent will start to collapse as people walk over it and will eventually catch there feet on it, and all other vents should also be in really inconvenient places.

[Lenglon]

I don't think that building codes would allow the fusebox to be in the crawlspace basement also I don't think fuseboxes are really a thing anymore, but everything else about your thing look good.

What I wrote is based on three different actual houses that I've been in. including one made in the early 2000's. I will admit that it isn't normal to use a fusebox instead of a breaker box, but it's still entirely within building codes.

[Jerick]

I don't think that building codes would allow the fusebox to be in the crawlspace basement also I don't think fuseboxes are really a thing anymore, but everything else about your thing look good.

Fuseboxes may not be a thing anymore but your perfectly able to put in some extra effort to go an put one in. As for building codes don't worry too much about those.

[FallacyofUrist]

What I bet happens is that some important guy(a Senator, maybe) buys one of our houses, gets really mad, and starts passing building code laws.
~~~
The master bedroom has a nice chandelier. Pity it's so big that someone standing up could hit their head on it. Again and again.

[Failbird105]

The outside of the house should have a design to put the windows in. One of the windows should be next to its corresponding wall design instead of inside it.

[Tyrant Leviathan]

Also add a bump to the ceiling of the place so if not careful, head bump (witnessed this first hand.)

[Screech9791]

The only windows are either where people want privacy, or really, really tiny.

The closets next to the walls are secret doors to the outside.