Looks like this socializing setup works
first i got rid of the pets that couldn't be caged due to close attachement to their owners, sorry to little buggers but that's ok i have a backup save
made a room , set a food stockpile in it allowing only plant drink (in my fortress case it's only alcohol barrels)
lowered a lot the similar stockpile max barrels that is already in my tavern.
design a zone set to Meeting Area in that whole room, then pressed l and set that room as a location using the same name as my already existing tavern, making this room basically an annex to my actual tavern.
Setup the room (excepted of the 3 tiles that touch the door) as a burrow and setup a new alert so all the dwarves go only into this burrow.
once everyone was in, locked the door
Waited a bit and checked :
Looks like it's working this way, could have used the actual tavern but there are too many items in it distracting things.
Hopefully the other tavern activities (story telling, dancing ...) are going to help instead of breaking the friend/grudge/love/hate gathering.
edit : and the far from family stress seems to get dealt with too.
Oh and looks like the AI is understanding what i am trying to do :
"Don't bother trying to play on my emotions"
edit 2 : redid the experience but with another stockpile filled with only barrel of plump helmet so food and drink needs were met allowed to spend more time in the closed room, socializing was still happening, even got a few new friendships