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[Urist McScoopbeard]

Hey all,

I'm just wondering if there's enough here to go to talk to a doctor and see what they think. In short, over the past year-and-a-half/two years I've been acting a little strangely and it's definitely begun to affect my work/study habits as well as pretty much getting anything done at all.

I mean, difficulty getting organized, bored easily, I start a ton of projects that I never finish. I've started zoning out more and forgetting stuff a lot more easily once a conversation becomes "boring" (it doesn't really, but like I just start tuning things out unconsciously after a point--like usually only a couple of seconds in at this point), a general impatience which I formerly did not have.

I do this thing where I pace around and have conversations in my head when I'm by myself and if I want to get something done, I'll literally have to enter another room and close the door to prevent me from continuing pacing--which doesn't always work anyways. Getting wrapped up in things in general is what I do.

Not to mention tons of impulsive pen-clicking, leg-bouncing, and fingernail gnawing.

Carelessness when I AM FULLY AWARE THAT I NEED TO BE CAREFUL. Same thing for being rude/angry--I often talk myself into and out of things and sometimes need people to check me to make sure I'm not being ridiculous and fantastical.

IDK, I could go on, but I've kind of suspected for a while that I have mild ADD/ADHD. I have heard that it can show itself as you get older and your life grows more complicated. Should I go see a doctor or something? I tried my best to offset it all as best I can with scheduling and chipping away at things and lists, but I'm hella bad at doing that stuff regularly and there have been several times in my life now where this shit has really affected my grades/stopped me from even starting on important projects/left me with like an hour to get important shit done--and to be clear, usually what happens is I know I have to do something and possibly even WANT to do something and brain is like nope you should go do something else that is whimsical and fun and I feel like I have no control over it. If I overcome that urge and DO get started on whatever it is I have to do, usually I'll just sit there for 2-3 hours trying to work myself up to it.

[Shook]

are you secretly me

I don't pace, but a lot of this sounds very relatable to me, and i decided to go to a doctor with it. It's not really an issue when i'm just lolligagging, but it's a pain in the arse when studying/working, especially if it's something boring that HAS to be done. I've yet to learn anything though, today was my first appointment with the psychiatrist. :v
Generally though, if it's causing you problems with regular functioning, it's worth poking a professional about, and it definitely sounds like it's having an impact. If nothing else, you can clear out the suspicion and spend that bit of brainpower elsewhere.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Thanks fellas,

This is both a relieving and stressful possibility for me. I'm getting a family friend to recommend a therapist or other specialist. I just hope there's something I can do about it. I have always felt like I just "can't do things", because I get easily distracted or it's impossible to force myself to focus. When I read these symptoms, it was so strange to see literally every problem I have described in one place. I dunno. Anyhoo, I appreciate the support, and hopefully it all pans in out soon!

EDIT: I'm trying not to like talk myself into thinking I have ADHD before I get diagnosed by a professional. Is there a way to be a little more objective about considering whether or not the symptoms might line up with past behavior???

[Shook]

Can also relate to that question, i find myself having to be careful to not subconsciously start acting more weird than i normally do. :v
One course of action for that would be to ask outside sources, i.e. family members or past teachers or whatever, since they have an outside perspective on your behaviour. Also make sure to remember (if you don't already) that even if you do get diagnosed with AD(H)D, it doesn't actually change who you are, it just means you know what's going on and can start working on improving it.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Also sound advice. For me, I've already kind of been aware of many of these symptoms like forgetfulness, difficulty with organization, impulse control, etc. etc.--I just didn't really connect it with a mental disorder, I thought I was just kind of lazy. I've done my best to manage them, but as I've gotten older it's increasingly difficult, with last year really being almost impossible to function normally in terms of getting my work done and generally being productive. So, I don't know if I have ADHD, but if I do, it would explain a lot of my difficulties and might be treatable to a certain extent. To reiterate, I'm only bringing it up because it is now becoming impossible to manage. I've been managing it, I need a new strategy or x, y, or z.

[martinuzz]

If it's a thing of 'the past two years' it's not very likely to be ADHD. ADHD is something you are born with.
It would have manifested in primary school, or highschool already.
That doesn't mean it's not something you might want to have checked out by a professional though.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Sorry, maybe I didn't express it properly--also like I said, idk if I actually have ADHD or it's just nothing. I've SUSPECTED for two years that I may have ADHD, I can remember the symptoms all the way back to middle school (being disorganized past any point of reasonableness, being scatterbrained, floating from project-to-project/hobby-to-hobby, self esteem issues/other minor social problems like blurting things out or talking over people or getting needlessly aggressive, restlessness, hyperfocus to the max, and spotty listening skills. It's gotten significantly harder to focus in general over the past 12 years (I don't really remember primary school so...), from a time when I was able to complete boat loads of work in just a few hours to barely being able to get important projects done over a week/several weeks. Up until 3ish years ago I was pretty much able to force myself to do stuff and then over the past 2 years as it's gotten increasingly worse, I've suspected something is wrong. The only thing that got me through college I think is the fact that I love writing and I was able to just be absorbed by writing scripts and short stories.

Who knows what it is, if anything, but I just kind of stumbled across an article concerning ADHD in adults and I was like holy schmidt this sounds exactly like me.

[Antioch]

You should go see a doctor with this. If you don't the problem will just continue to exist and you will keep wondering what is wrong.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

!!!

Yes. Sorry, yes, update! I have an appointment set with my therapist this week. I don't know if she will refer me to someone else or what, but at least hopefully we can get some kind of diagnosis or plan of action here.

[Doomblade187]

One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.

[ChairmanPoo]

One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.

I know you feel like you've been drinking a few kegs of Styx wash, but you need to CENTER yourself. Among your possessions is a JOURNAL that'll shed some light on the dark of the matter. PHAROD can fill you in on the rest of the chant, if he's not in the dead-book already.
Don't lose the journal or we'll be up the Styx again. And whatever you do, DO NOT tell anyone WHO you are or WHAT happens to you, or they'll put you on a quick pilgrimage to the crematorium. Do what I tell you: READ the journal, then FIND Pharod.
Don't trust the skull

[Mallos]

One thing you can use to ground you is to look for physical symptoms. For example, people who have ADHD react differently to stimulants than most people who don't. If I recall correctly, there are others. These are harder to talk yourself into/out of.

I know you feel like you've been drinking a few kegs of Styx wash, but you need to CENTER yourself. Among your possessions is a JOURNAL that'll shed some light on the dark of the matter. PHAROD can fill you in on the rest of the chant, if he's not in the dead-book already.
Don't lose the journal or we'll be up the Styx again. And whatever you do, DO NOT tell anyone WHO you are or WHAT happens to you, or they'll put you on a quick pilgrimage to the crematorium. Do what I tell you: READ the journal, then FIND Pharod.
Don't trust the skull

What prompted you to reference Planescape: Torment...?

[DwarfToys]

Go get tested.  Most of that sounds like the same issues that prompted me to do so, and it was a good decision. 

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Thanks fellahs,

I've been to my therapist several times now, she seems to agree on the ADHD assessment and added in that it seemed like I had some anxiety issues as well (which makes sense to me). I've an appointment to possibly acquire a prescription.

[Yami]

Okay, medications can be one way to handle things.  Just, be warned they might not do it all, or have their own drawbacks.

Another might be to pay attention to the most egregious problems and find alternative solutions to those problems.  I personally, have been told by doctors and family that I should be drugged to the gills to integrate into society.  I haven't taken mind altering drugs for my ADHD since college.  The trick, in my case, was figuring out my own patterns in productivity and attention, and tailoring things around it.  For instance, if you've gotta bunch a work to do, but cannot focus, change project, swap between different jobs so you're still getting your work done, just, you know, not working on the same thing.  Feed that impatience without letting it disrupt the work flow.

Small details, but I learned to work them in my favour.  Another example would be the fact I don't have games on my phones.  Small detail, I know.  I've a laptop for all my gaming needs, but when I'm with friends or family, I can just, you know, hang out without being distracted.  Pay attention, find the workarounds.  I'm not saying meds wont work.  They might.  Just be prepared to try and mix and match solutions to find the best for you.

~Yami.