TURN 26: EPILOGUE?!>Redirect all the Comcast forces to shoot up a furry convention.
(6) YOU HACK INTO THE MILITARY COMMUNICATIONS SUCCESSFULLY! HOWEVER, YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIDE YOUR LOCATION, SO YOU MIGHT BE TRACKED DOWN! (4) THE MILITARY WILL SEND A COUPLE OF HELICOPTERS TO DESTROY A LOCAL FURRY CONVENTION CENTER! (1) AT THE LAST MINUTE, THOUGH, SOMEONE REALIZES THAT YOU'RE MERELY PRETENDING TO BE A GENERAL, AND THE HELICOPTERS CHANGE THEIR COURSE RIGHT TOWARDS THE COMCAST CENTER!
Perform punch self in gut, to make bread come out.
PREFORM THE REVERSE HEIMLOCH MANEUVERE! THEN BLOW MORE THINGS UP! THEN EAT BREAD!
(2+1) SARGE PUNCHES HIMSELF IN THE GUT, VOMITING OUT MOST OF THE BREAD ON THE STREET ASPHALT! (6) BROTHER BRIOCHE THEN GOES AHEAD AND BLOWS UP A DOZEN OF KIOSKS AND TWO GROCERY STORES! THE MILITARY RADAR DETECTS A HUGE HEAT SIGNATURE AFTER THE EXPLOSIONS AND SENDS AN HBWP (HEAVY BIPEDAL WEAPON PLATFORM) WITH SOME TROOPS TO COVER IT! (4) BRIOCHE EATS BREAD! IT'S TASTY!
Wake up and go and kill some enemies with the bench.
(6) YOU WAKE UP AND BEAT ENEMIES WITH YOUR BENCH! THEY GET THROWN AROUND THE STREETS, SMASHING INTO WALLS! HOWEVER, YOU REALIZE THAT THE ENEMIES WERE JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, AND THERE'S NO ENEMIES AROUND THE COMCAST HQ... YET!
Wake up and find those clues, I don't have all day, I have a dog to take care of.
(6) YOU WAKE UP, TYPE "COMCAST HQ" IN GOOGLE ON YOUR PC, THEN GO OUTSIDE WITH YOUR DOG... IN YOUR PAJAMAS AND WITHOUT SHOES!
MOUNT KANGAROOS AND EVACUATE RESISTSNCE MEMBERS AND CROC AND BEAR LOVER.
ALSO, LEARN RUSSIAN.
Sally will attempt to equip a mini glider and jump out a window to float to safety. If she doesn't have the glider, she'll take the elevator instead. Down to the garage floor, where she'll grab a bicycle and ride to freedom.
((QUESTION TO YOINK: DO YOU HAVE PROFESSIONAL KANGAROO RACERS IN AUSTRALIA?!))
((KANGAROO RACING IS SMALL AND MISUNDERSTOOD SPORT. VERY DANGEROUS BECAUSE KANGAROOS IN GENERAL VERY DANGEROUS. KANGAROO JOCKEY CAREER CHOICE OF THE TRULY MAD AND/OR RECKLESS
THERE IS KANGAROO SPECIAL FORCES, HOWEVER. THEY SECRETIVE AND RARELY SEEN. WAS ACTUALLY KANGAROO OPS WHO HANDLED LINDT CAFE HOSTAGE CRISIS OF 2014
IS WHY SO MANY HOSTAGE DIED - HARD TO AIM WHEN BOUNCING AROUND ON BACK OF KANGAROO))
ATTEMPT TO ASSIST SALLY AND IGOR IN DESCENT FROM BUILDING USING JESUS POWERS AND/OR TIKI MAGIC!
FAILING THAT, JUST CATCH THEM.
THEN FOLLOW SWORD'S LEAD IN EVACUATION EFFORT I GUESS
(5) DOOMBLADE CREATES KANGAROO HOLOGRAMS FOR EVERY REBEL, THEN IT ESTABLISHES A VERY SPECIAL TELEPATHIC CONNECTION, WHICH ALLOWS DOOMBLADE TO SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND RUSSIAN AS LONG AS HE CONNECTED TO A RUSSIAN SPEAKER TELEPATHICALLY!
"ГДЕ Я, И ЧТО ПРОИСХОДИТ ЗДЕСЬ?! (WHERE AM I, AND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?!)" - SAID CROCANDBEARLOVER IN CONFUSION! YOU TELL HIM TO HOP ON KANGAROO, BECAUSE THE TOWER OVER THERE IS GOING DOWN SOON! (2) SALLY IS IN HARSH PAIN TO USE ANYTHING RELATED TO FLYING, AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAS A GLIDER! (5) YOINK USING HIS JESUS POWERS TO BIND THE ELEVATOR SHAFT WITH VINES MADE OUT OF PURE LIGHT, ALLOWING SALLY TO USE THE ELEVATOR WITHOUT COLLAPSE OF THE STRUCTURE! SALLY AND IGOR USE ELEVATOR, AND WITH THE HELP OF YOINK, THEY QUICKLY HOP ON A KANGAROO!
THE REBELLION RETREATS AS (3) THE ELEVATOR SHAFT STARTS TO CRACKING RAPIDLY!
SCAN THE AREA NEAR THE COMCAST HQ FOR REBEL SCUM!
(4) HELICOPTERS NOTICE 0CRA, SO THEY LAUNCH ROCKETS AT THE BUILDING! (5 VS 6) 0CRA DODGES THE ROCKETS IN TIME, BUT THE ROCKETS LEAVE A HUGE HOLE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ALEADY CRUMBLING BUILDING! (3-1) THE ROCKETS WERE ENOUGH TO MAKE THE UPPER PART OF THE BUILDING FINALLY COLLAPSE! (1) ALAS, THE HELICOPTER PILOTS FAIL TO MANEUVER, CAUSING THE HELICOPTERS TO BE BURRIED UNDER THE RUBBLE! (3) 0CRA GETS BURRIED UNDER THE NANO-CONCRETE RUBBLE, BUT HE'S STILL ALIVE!
FUCK IT! LET'S ALL ASCEND TO A PLANE OF CATS!
(2+2) FELIUS AND THE CAT ARMY LEAVE THIS PLANET, SINCE THEY GOT TIRED OF FIGHTING CORPORATIONS! FELIUS OPENS A PORTAL TO HIS REALM, THEN, ALONG WITH HIS ARMY, GOES THROUGH IT AND CLOSES IT!
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE DESTROYED THE COMCAST HQ, THUS (ALMOST) WINNING THE GAME! AS FOR THE FINISHING TOUCHES, YOU GOTTA WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU INTEND TO DO AFTER YOU'VE DESTROYED THE COMCAST HQ: PERHAPS YOU WANT TO HIDE AND LAY LOW, NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN DECLARED A TERRORIST! OR MAYBE YOU WANT TO GO AND CREATE YOUR VERY OWN RESISTANCE CELL! ANYWAY, THANKS FOR PLAYING AND STICKING WITH THIS SHITTY RTD!
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Topic: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE: EPILOGUE (Read 75371 times)