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OOOOOOH, BEEF HAS EXPIRED! AUUUOOH, IT GOT PARASITES!

2 (28.6%)

HOW MANY BREADS HAVE YOU EATEN IN YOUR LIFE?!

0 (0%)

I. LIKE. JUICE!

0 (0%)

HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!

1 (14.3%)

PINGAS!

4 (57.1%)

Total Members Voted: 7

Voting closed: August 18, 2018, 03:36:57 am

[CABL]

Welcome to the game, Leodanny and Imic! The next turn will be written tomorrow.

[CABL]

TURN 24

Let's go with quantity, then! I command an army of sewer rats to delay the Death Squad members while I retreat!

(3-2 VS 3) FRANCIS ATTEMPTS TO CONTROL THE RATS YET AGAIN, BUT WHEN HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO COMMAND THE FILTH-COVERED CRITTERS, HE VOMITS INSTEAD OF SPEAKING! THE DEATH SQUAD GETS DOWN INTO THE SEWERS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF FRANCIS, LEAVING HIS ELECTROCUTED CORPSE IN THE SEWER! FRANCIS MONOGRAM IS DEAD! MAKE A NEW CHARACTER!

CROC AND BEAR IS DEAD!? USE MY LIFE-FORCE TO RAISE HIM UP AND HEAL HIM FROM THE GRASP OF DEATH!

CLUTCH MY BRUISED GENITALS AND TRY NOT TO CRY!
"I THINK... S-SOMETHING MAY... HAVE BEEN... LOST... IN TRANSLATION."

IF I RECOVER FROM THE PAIN SOON ENOUGH, ASSIST DOOMBLADE. TRY TO ASCERTAIN WHETHER HE TELEPORTED RIGHT PERSON, THOUGH

(3-1)(3) YOINK CRIES FROM THE PAIN LIKE A WUSS, WHILE DOOMBLADE RESURRECTS CROCANDBEARLOVER! THOUGH, THE DOOMBLADE TURNED THE CORPSE INTO A ZOMBIE RATHER THAN GENUINELY RESURRECTING CROCANDBEARLOVER! YOU CAN'T REALLY EXTRACT ANY INFO BY SPEAKING WITH ZOMBIE, LET ALONE A BRAINLESS ONE, BUT HE'LL OBEY ANYTHING THE DOOMBLADE COMMANDS!

Sally will take the servers hostage! Stand in front of them so the guard can't shoot her without hurting them. Better yet, dive behind them! Look for a plug or a memory card to pull out too!

"Aaargh, you bastard!" RETALIATE AGAINST THE GUARD WITH ANOTHER SHOTGUN BLAST!

(5-1) SALLY POINTS A GUN AT THE SERVER, CAUSING THE GUARD TO DIVE INTO A MORAL DILEMMA! FINALLY, AFTER A MINUTE OF THINKING, THE GUARD DROPS HIS GUN! (2+1 VS 2) THEN IGOR USES THE MOMENT AND SHOOTS HIM IN THE RIGHT THIGH, CAUSING THE SAID GUARD TO DROP ON THE FLOOR! "TASTE THE PAYBACK, BITCH!" - TAUNTED IGOR THE GUARD, "...SALLY, FINISH HIM OFF. RIGHT NOW!"

Build a gun out of the broken pieces, then get out of the subway.

(2) YOU FAIL TO BUILD THE GUN FROM BROKEN PIECES, BECAUSE YOU'VE NO GLUE OR SCREWS TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER, THEN YOU GO OUTSIDE, APPEARING AT THE CITY CENTER: YOU SEE COMCAST HQ, WHICH IS CURRENTLY BEING THRASHED BY ANGRY MOB, LEAD BY SOME AUSTRALIAN, AND A GIANT RED-HAIRED HUMANOID CAT, WHO ALSO THRASHES THE SAID BUILDING!

>Kill any other security forces. After there's no hostile heat signatures in the building, tell the resistance that we'll hold this building to defend it, and have as much of it fortified in the resistance's favour.

(6-1 VS 4) 0CRA LEAVES THE COVER, JUST TO FINISH THE TURRET BY SPRAYING BULLETS WHILE HOLDING MACHINE GUN IN ONE HAND! THE TURRET EXPLODES FROM ALL THE LEAD BEING STUCK IN ITS HULL AND MECHANICAL SCHEMES! 0CRA'S HEAT RADAR DETECTS ONE FAINT ENEMY HEAT SIGNATURES, AND TWO NEUTRAL ONES, ON THE 15TH FLOOR, WHICH IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE SERVER ROOM! BUT BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO KILL THE OPPONENT, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP THAT GAL WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE WHILE ALSO FOLLOWING AND PROVIDING COVER FIRE?! SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS AND BLEEDS HEAVILY!

I AM A YELLING PERSON
I HAVE A  SHOTGUN
I SHOOT PEOPLE AND DON’T DIE
YAY!
Can I join?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NAME:Sarge
APPEARANCE: guy in a shirt and jeans with a shotgun
GENDER: attack helicopter
WOUNDS: NONE

[/b]

(4) YOU ARE SARGE; THE MAD SHOTGUN-WIELDING MAN, WHO ALSO IMAGINES HIMSELF AS AN ATTACK HELICOPTER! YOU'RE ALSO IMMORTAL, AND CAN ONLY DIE WHEN THE TORSO IS COMPLETELY DESTROYED! (6 VS 4) ANYWAY, YOU SEE A MILITARY SQUAD RUNNING BY, SO YOU OPEN FIRE AT THEM FROM YOUR SHOTGUN! YOU'VE KILLED TWO PEOPLE, ONE GOT HIS HEAD TORN INTO SHREDS, THE OTHER GOT HIS PELVIS AND GENITALIA SEVERELY DAMAGED, CAUSING HIM TO DIE FROM UNBEARABLE PAIN! THE SQUAD RETURNS FIRE, BUT YOU DIVE BEHIND A WALL!

NAME: BROTHER BRIOCHE
APPEARANCE: A CRAZY LOOKING FELLAH IN A BEIGE CULTIST ROBE WITH A SWORD, DAGGER, GUN, LARGE EXPLOSION-PROOF BAG OF EXPLOSIVES AND SEVERAL OTHER WEAPONS
GENDER: MALE
WOUNDS: NONE

IN THE NAME OF THE BREAD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SURVEY THE SURROUNDINGS, AND RUN INTO THE FREY WITH MY SWORD AT THE READY. THROW. THINGS. EVERYWHERE.!!!!
BURN IT ALL!!!!
BURN IN THE NAME OF THE BREAD GOD!!!

(1) YOU'RE VERY NEW TO THE BREAD GOD CULT, AND DESPITE YOUR FANATICISM, THE HIGHER RANKS HATE YOU, AND ALWAYS WANTED TO USE YOU AS A CANNON FODDER IN THE DARKEST HOUR! (5 VS 3) ANYWAY, YOU FIND A MILITARY SQUAD FIGHTING A MAN IN T-SHIRT AND JEANS, WHO WIELDS A SHOTGUN! PROCLAIMING THE MILITARY AS INFIDELS, YOU THROW DYNAMITE STICKS AT THEM, FINISHING THE SQUAD OFF! THE ONLY SURVIVOR GOT HIS LEGS TORN INTO GIBLETS AND HIS BODY ARMOR UTTERLY SHATTERED!

SMASH THE BUILDING'S MIDDLE WITH TWO HANDS!

(5+2 VS 4) FELIUS POWERFULLY SLAMS HIS PAWS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COMCAST HQ, DESTROYING ALMOST ALL OF THE 14TH FLOOR, LEAVING ONLY AN ELEVATOR SHAFT BARELY HOLDING THE TOP FLOORS! WATCH OUT; THE UNSTABLE PART CAN FALL OFF ON THE STREET AND KILL ALL WHO'S UNDER IT, EXCEPT FELIUS!

COUNTDOWNS: DS REINFORCEMENTS: MERGED INTO THE MILITARY REINFORCEMENTS!
COMCAST HQ REINFORCEMENTS: 3 TURNS!

[Ozarck]

"I'm not going to kill him like this, you nutcase. He's surrendered already. That makes him a prisoner of war. Do you WANT to commit War Crimes?"

Sally refuses to shoot the helpless, surrendered, wounded guard. Instead, she'll introduce a cracking program into the servers to bypass ComCast restrictions on access, speed, and quality. She'll then add a second program that acts as a watchdog / deadman's switch which will destroy the server data should ComCast attempt to fiddle with either program.

"And to think," Sally thinks. "I was only going to poison a low level local manager when all this began. what a wacky world."

[Screech9791]

>Heal the unconscious resistance woman to the point where she can get back in the fight. Also pull a medical gas bomb which creates healing clouds upon detonation out from up my ass, and into a crowd of nearby resistance members which are injured.

[Imic]

First of all, survey the surroundings and figure out where the fuck I am.
THEN BURN IT ALL! BOMB, DESTROY, LOOT!!!!! BLOW IT ALL DOWN AND UP IN THE NAME OF THE BREAD GOD!!!!!

[Doomblade187]

USE JESUS POWERS TO PROPERLY REVIVE CROC AND BEAR LOVER!

[Leodanny]

EAT BREAD WHILE SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, THE SHOOT PEOPLE WITHOUT LOOKING AT THEM!
”OH SAY CAN YOU SEE, BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AT THE TWILIGHT’S LAST
 GLEAMING WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS, THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT.....
 

[King Zultan]

Go and find a gun then try to create an army of rats.

[Screech9791]

Go and find a gun then try to burn down the Comcast HQ.

I'd suggest you'd not, since several resistance members are already inside. Maybe the fourth, maybe fifth floor and above? I'm on the third floor by the way.

[King Zultan]

Okay I wont burn things.

[Yoink]

ATTEMPT TO RECOVER FROM RECENT SELF-INFLICTED NAD-WHACKING

IF SUCCESSFUL, ASSIST MY SWORD IN REVIVAL EFFORTS I GUESS? AT LEAST MAKE SURE NO ENEMIES OR OTHER DISTRACTIONS INTERRUPT


EDIT: JUST GOT AROUND TO GOOGLING ALTERNATE MEANINGS OF PINGAS TO DETERMINE CAUSE OF TRAGIC MISUNDERSTANDING

MAKES ME SO MAD, THESE INTERNET CRETINS MISAPPROPRIATING AND CORRUPTING TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIANESE WORD INTO MEANING SOMETHING VULGAR >:[

[Lovefool]

Imma join this because I love the title.

NAME: Steve Burns
APPEARANCE:

Spoiler: Here, this image (click to show/hide)

GENDER: Male
WOUNDS: NONE

Look for Clues on where to find this cable company... since I woke up late today.

[CABL]

TURN 25

"I'm not going to kill him like this, you nutcase. He's surrendered already. That makes him a prisoner of war. Do you WANT to commit War Crimes?"

Sally refuses to shoot the helpless, surrendered, wounded guard. Instead, she'll introduce a cracking program into the servers to bypass ComCast restrictions on access, speed, and quality. She'll then add a second program that acts as a watchdog / deadman's switch which will destroy the server data should ComCast attempt to fiddle with either program.

"And to think," Sally thinks. "I was only going to poison a low level local manager when all this began. what a wacky world."

(5) SALLY REFUSES TO SHOOT THE GUARD, ON WHICH IGOR REPLIES, "SCREW ALL THAT 'HONOR' AND 'GENEVA CONVENTION'! WE'RE FIGHTING AN OPPRESSIVE CORPORATE REGIME, WHICH ESTABLISHED ITSELF ALL OVER THE WORLD: IT'S GUERILLA WARFARE, NOT COUNTRY VS COUNTRY!" AS HE RANTS ON, SALLY SUCCESSFULLY UPLOAD VIRUS, BUT HERE'S THE CATCH: THE FLOOR BELOW YOU WAS ALMOST COMPLETELY DESTROYED, WITH AN EXCEPTION OF ELEVATOR SHAFT, WHICH IS THE REASON WHY THIS FLOOR AND THE UPPER FLOORS HAVEN'T FELL DOWN ON THE STREETS YET! THE QUESTION IS: CAN SALLY AND IGOR GO DOWN BACK ON THE STREETS BELOW AND ESCAPE BEFORE THE UPPER FLOORS FALL AND CRASH AND KILL EVERYBODY WHO'S NEAR THE BUILDING?

(5) THE ELEVATOR SHAFT STILL HOLDS THE UPPER FLOORS PERFECTLY, BUT FOR HOW LONG IT CAN STAY THAT WAY?

>Heal the unconscious resistance woman to the point where she can get back in the fight. Also pull a medical gas bomb which creates healing clouds upon detonation out from up my ass, and into a crowd of nearby resistance members which are injured.

(2) YOU WANTED TO HEAL THE WOMAN, BUT IT LOOKS THAT NEITHER OF YOU HAVE FILLED MEDICAL KITS! (3) IN PANIC, YOU PROCEED TO SHIT OUT A VERY SMALL MEDICAL BOMB, WHICH WILL TEMPORARILY STOP THE BLEEDING, BUT WILL NOT SEW THE HOLES LEFT BY LASERS!

First of all, survey the surroundings and figure out where the fuck I am.
THEN BURN IT ALL! BOMB, DESTROY, LOOT!!!!! BLOW IT ALL DOWN AND UP IN THE NAME OF THE BREAD GOD!!!!!

EAT BREAD WHILE SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, THE SHOOT PEOPLE WITHOUT LOOKING AT THEM!
”OH SAY CAN YOU SEE, BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AT THE TWILIGHT’S LAST
 GLEAMING WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS, THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT.....
 

(5) BROTHER BRIOCHE LEARNS THAT HE'S IN NORTHERN SLUMS, LOCATED CLOSELY TO SOUTHERN "RING DISTRICT" AND TO THE OTHER SLUM SUB-DISTRICTS! (3) BRIOCHE THEN PROCEEDS TO THROW DYNAMITE AT CAFES AND STREET BENCHES, BLOWING THEM UP! (1) MEANWHILE, SARGE DECIDES TO EAT BREAD AND SING NATIONAL ANTHEM... IT GOES POORLY FOR HIM, SINCE HE CHOKES ON BREAD PIECES! SARGE IS CHOKING! HE'LL NEED TO EITHER SPEW IT ALL AWAY, OR GET SOMEONE'S HELP!

USE JESUS POWERS TO PROPERLY REVIVE CROC AND BEAR LOVER!

ATTEMPT TO RECOVER FROM RECENT SELF-INFLICTED NAD-WHACKING

IF SUCCESSFUL, ASSIST MY SWORD IN REVIVAL EFFORTS I GUESS? AT LEAST MAKE SURE NO ENEMIES OR OTHER DISTRACTIONS INTERRUPT


EDIT: JUST GOT AROUND TO GOOGLING ALTERNATE MEANINGS OF PINGAS TO DETERMINE CAUSE OF TRAGIC MISUNDERSTANDING

MAKES ME SO MAD, THESE INTERNET CRETINS MISAPPROPRIATING AND CORRUPTING TRADITIONAL AUSTRALIANESE WORD INTO MEANING SOMETHING VULGAR >:[

(2)(4) YOINK'S STILL IN PAIN FROM BROKEN BALLS, BUT DOOMBLADE STILL MANAGES TO SIPHON YOINK'S JESUS ENERGY IN ORDER TO TURN CROCANDBEARLOVER ALIVE! (3) CROCANDBEARLOVER GREW A NEW BRAIN, BUT HE FORGOT ENGLISH, AND THE ONLY LANGUAGE HE SPEAKS NOW IS RUSSIAN!

((QUESTION TO YOINK: DO YOU HAVE PROFESSIONAL KANGAROO RACERS IN AUSTRALIA?!))

Go and find a gun then try to create an army of rats.

(2)(1) YOU TRY TO FIND A GUN, BUT IT SEEMS THAT THE MOB HAS ALREADY LOOTED EVERY WEAPON LAYING ON THE GROUND! YOU'RE TRYING TO FIND A RAT SWARM LATER, BUT IT SEEMS THAT THE WARMTH OF THE CONSUMED ALCOHOL CAUSES YOU TO BE SLEEPY, SO YOU GIVE UP, FIND A BENCH, THEN LAY DOWN AND SLEEP!

Look for Clues on where to find this cable company... since I woke up late today.

(1) WEIRDLY ENOUGH, YOU'RE STILL FEELING QUITE SLEEPY, SO YOU CAN'T REALLY CONCENTRATE ON PONDERING THE WHEREABOUTS OF COMCAST HQ! YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP AFTER DRINKING A CUP OF WATER!

Spoiler: FELIUS AND THE CAT ARMY (click to show/hide)

FORGET ABOUT THE BUILDING FOR A SECOND: MY SCOUTS HAVE REPORTED MILITARY INCOMING AT US!

(1+2 VS 4) FELIUS CALLS FOR A COUNTER-ATTACK ON THE INCOMING REINFORCEMENTS TO HOLD THE REINFORCEMENTS! THE CAT ARMY SUFFERS SOME CASUALTIES, FAILING TO HOLD OFF THE REINFORCEMENTS!

THE MILITARY REINFORCEMENTS: 2 TURNS!

[Screech9791]

>Redirect all the Comcast forces to shoot up a furry convention.

[Leodanny]

Perform punch self in gut, to make bread come out.