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OOOOOOH, BEEF HAS EXPIRED! AUUUOOH, IT GOT PARASITES!

2 (28.6%)

HOW MANY BREADS HAVE YOU EATEN IN YOUR LIFE?!

0 (0%)

I. LIKE. JUICE!

0 (0%)

HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!

1 (14.3%)

PINGAS!

4 (57.1%)

Total Members Voted: 7

Voting closed: August 18, 2018, 03:36:57 am

[Ozarck]

Disguise as receptionist. Look through her computer for juicy gossip. assume a cold demeanor with anyone coming through.

[Yoink]

HARNESS THE POWER OF TIKI TO GO ON A CHARGE TOWARDS THE CITY CENTER!

GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

"LET'S MOVE OUT!"

[CABL]

TURN 19

Steal the baton, then escape to the zoo! They'll never find me there!

(5 VS 6) FRANCIS MONOGRAM TRIED TO BREAK AN ARM OF BATON-ARMED DS MEMBER, BUT THE OTHER DS MEMBER TACKLES FRANCIS MONOGRAM FROM BEHIND! WITHIN THE WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY, THE BATON-ARMED DS MEMBER STRIKES FRANCIS MONOGRAM IN THE HEAD, MAKING HIM DAZZLED! (2-1) FRANCIS CLUMSILY TRIED TO STAND UP, ONLY TO SLIP (2) AND BREAK HIS JAW!

>Make my lung unburnt before getting fellow resistance members to cover me while I spray and pray at the soldiers. If any are downed, brutally interrogate them by threatening that if they don't spill the beans, I'll break their skulls with a bash from my M249's stock to the face.

(1+1 FOR HAVING A PARTNER) 0CRA ASK HIS NEW PARTNER TO HEAL HIS BURNT LUNG, ONLY TO LEARN THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY SPARE BIONIC LUNGS IN HER KIT! (5+1 VS 3) TOGETHER, 0CRA AND A RESISTANCE FIGHTER (WHOSE NAME IS UNKNOWN, BECAUSE 0CRA DIDN'T BOTHER TO ASK HER) BLAST AWAY INCOMING DRONES AND MILITARY PERSONNEL! THE RESISTANCE FIGHTER EVEN USES HER "THORN BUSH" RPG TO DAMAGE THE MILITARY TANK'S ENGINES! 0CRA GOES FORWARD TO CHECK IF ANY OF THE SOLDIERS ARE ALIVE (1), ONLY FOR AN AREAL HOVERCRAFT WITH A SNIPER TEAM ON IT! (2+1 VS 4) THE EXPLOSIVE SHOT GOES OVER 0CRA'S HEAD, MAKING A HOLE IN ASPHALT!

Run, just run away.

(6 VS 5) BILLY BOB BARELY GOT AWAY FROM THE ROBOT, WHOSE STEPS WERE GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER, UNTIL BILLY BOB BARELY ESCAPED THROUGH THE WINDOW BEFORE IT GOT SEALED! WAT DO NOW?

HARNESS THE POWER OF TIKI TO GO ON A CHARGE TOWARDS THE CITY CENTER!

GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

"LET'S MOVE OUT!"

(4) YOINK, DOOMBLADE, AND YOINK'S FOLLOWERS TELEPORT NEAR THE CITY CENTER/COMCAST HQ: THEY SEE THAT THE MILITARY SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND SOME SORT OF INTRUDERS IN THE COMHQ, WHILE ALSO FIGHTING AND LOSING AGAINST A WOUNDED GUY AND A HEALTHY GAL WITH GUNS! (2) A SOME SORT OF MILITARY AREAL HOVERCRAFT SPOTS YOINK'S PARTY, THOUGH IT REALLY WASN'T HARD, CONSIDERING THAT IT'S A HUGE MOB WITH ~95 PEOPLE IN IT!

Disguise as receptionist. Look through her computer for juicy gossip. assume a cold demeanor with anyone coming through.

BE PREPARED TO SHOOT AT THE TANK FROM A "SCORPION TAIL" SELF-GUIDED MISSILE SYSTEM!

(4-1 VS 6+1) THE PLAN OF SALLY TO DISGUISE HERSELF IS BUSTED DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE MILITARY IS ON HIGH ALERT, AND THE BUILDING WAS EVACUATED FROM MOST CIVILIANS ANYWAY! (5 VS 3) THE TANK IMMEDIATELY REACTS BY SPEWING LASER AT SALLY FROM A MOUNTED LASER MINIGUN: SALLY GETS SEVERAL SECOND-DEGREE BURNS ON HER BODY, CAUSING HER TO LAY DOWN AND SCREAM IN AGONY! (1 VS 2) IGOR, WHO KNEW THE PLAN WITH THE RECEPTIONIST DISGUISE WAS DOOMED TO FAILURE, SHOT AT THE TANK FROM HIS "SCORPION TAIL" SGMS, ONLY FOR THE ROCKET TO GO WIDE AND DESTROY THE STAIRCASE TO THE SECOND FLOOR! THE TANK SHOOTS AT IGOR FROM THE MAIN GUN, WHO IN THE TURN DIVES AWAY: HE STILL GETS WOUNDED, BUT THE WOUND IS FROM THE FLYING NANO-CONCRETE CHUNKS, NOT THE MAIN GUN'S PLASMA BEAM (HE WOULD BE UTTERLY FRIED IF THAT WAS THE CASE!)

DRIVE INTO THE DAMN HQ ALREADY!

(2) ALAS, THE DRIVER GETS SLIGHTLY LOST DUE TO GPS' INTERFERENCES!

THE FELIUS HAS AWAKENED! HE SHALL DELIVER US FROM THESE FOUL BEINGS!

(2+2 VS 3) FELIUS, THE GOD OF CATS, HAS FINALLY AWAKENED FROM HIS SLUMBER, AND THE FIRST THING HE'S DOING IS RESURRECTING ALL OF THE FALLEN CATS AND TEARING THROUGH THE HYBRIDS' RANKS! THE CATS CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS PLANET AND RETURN TO THE EARTH TO FIGHT COMCAST!

[Yoink]

"WELL WELL WELL WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? ARE YOU GUYS FED UP WITH COMCAST'S LOUSY SERVICE, TOO?"

TALKING IS FREE ACTION RIGHT??
PLACEHOLDER ACTION IN MEANTIME: DEFEND SELF AND MY FOLLOWERS FROM ANY THREATS WHILST DIPLOMACISING

[Ozarck]

Salkly screams some more, and throws up a glitter bomb to interfere with teh laser (and guidance systems) and a smoke bomb to interfere with sight, then she crawls to freedom under the tank and out fro the building!

[Screech9791]

>Shred the hovercraft's engines with a hail of gunfire and buckshot. Try and forcedly interrogate any survivors with my M249's barrel pointed at their face threatening them with death if they refuse to tell me where the Comcast HQ is.

[The_Two_Eternities]

Break their jaws! Something something taste of their own medicine!

[King Zultan]

Keep running and try and get in to a subway station.

[Yoink]

"NO RESPONSE! WHAT SAY YOU, SWORD-FRIEND? UPON WHOM SHALL WE VISIT OUR EXTREMELY SHARP, WHIMSICALLY TROPICAL BRAND OF JUSTICE FIRST?"

[Doomblade187]

"NO RESPONSE! WHAT SAY YOU, SWORD-FRIEND? UPON WHOM SHALL WE VISIT OUR EXTREMELY SHARP, WHIMSICALLY TROPICAL BRAND OF JUSTICE FIRST?"

"LET US UNLEASH OUR FURY ON THESE DESTH SQUADS!"

ASSAULT THE DEATH SQUADS WITH HOLY JESUS POWERS.

[CABL]

TURN 18

"NO RESPONSE! WHAT SAY YOU, SWORD-FRIEND? UPON WHOM SHALL WE VISIT OUR EXTREMELY SHARP, WHIMSICALLY TROPICAL BRAND OF JUSTICE FIRST?"

"LET US UNLEASH OUR FURY ON THESE DESTH SQUADS!"

ASSAULT THE DEATH SQUADS WITH HOLY JESUS POWERS.

(1+1 VS 4) YOINK AND DOOMBLADE CONCENTRATE TOGETHER TO UNLEASH A BARRAGE OF FIREBALLS... WHICH EXPLODE BEFORE NOT EVEN REACHING THE MILITARY! YOINK GETS SHOT BY A SNIPER IN THE HOVERCRAFT, HITTING YOINK IN THE CHEST WITH AN EXPLOSIVE ROUND! YOINK GETS A HUGE GAPING WOUNDS, FROM WHICH AUSTRALIAN'S BLOOD RUNS LIKE A FOUNTAIN! YOINK FALLS UNCONSCIOUS FROM SUCH UNBEARABLE PAIN! (4) LUCKILY FOR HIM, A NURSE FROM YOINK'S MOB QUICKLY DRAGS HIM AWAY INTO A COVER, THEN HEALS HIS WOUND SOMEWHAT: THE BLEEDING IS STOPPED SUCCESSFULLY, AND THE WOUND ITSELF WAS SUTURED, BUT YOINK IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS DUE TO THE SHOCK FROM SUCH PAIN! (6) EVEN THOUGH THE MOB TEMPORARILY LOST THEIR COMMANDER, THE PEOPLE IN IT ARE NOT ONLY EAGER TO FIGHT, BUT EVEN GO UTTERLY BERSERK, CHARGING AT THE MILITARY WITH DOOMSWORDS AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE TIKI MAGIC! (5 VS 2) THE MOB GOES INTO A FULL OFFENSE: THEY USE THEIR TIKI POWERS TO HURL FIREBALLS AT THE MILITARY AND VEHICLES, DOWNING THE HOVERCRAFT (4) NEAR THE TWO RESISTANCE FIGHTERS AND BURNING SEVERAL OF MILITARY PERSONNEL! THE BERZERKERS COMPLETELY SLAUGHTER THE MILITARY IN MELEE COMBAT, FORCING INFANTRY TO RETREAT INSIDE, AND THE TANK TO GO OUTSIDE AND DEAL WITH THE MOB!

Salkly screams some more, and throws up a glitter bomb to interfere with teh laser (and guidance systems) and a smoke bomb to interfere with sight, then she crawls to freedom under the tank and out fro the building!

(5-3) THE PAIN IS TOO STRONG FOR SALLY: SHE KEEPS SCREAMING IN AGONY! YOU DO NOTICE THAT THE TANK IS DRIVING OUTSIDE, WHILE MORE INFANTRY POURS INTO THE BUILDING THROUGH A HOLE LEFT BY THE TANK!

GET UP AND SAVE SALLY WITH THE USAGE OF SMOKES! THROW PLASMA GRENADES IF DISCOVERED AND FIND COVER!

(4 VS 1) LUCKILY FOR IGOR AND SALLY, NO INFANTRY WORE NVGS: IGOR DRAGS SALLY INTO A SAFE PLACE, THEN (3) GIVES HER SOME POWERFUL PAINKILLERS (3 TURNS BEFORE THE PAIN RESUMES)! PEEKING FROM A CORNER, IGOR NOTICED THAT THE ELEVATOR IS STILL HERE, ON THE FIRST FLOOR! "SALLY DO YOU FEEL BETTER?" - WHISPERED IGOR, "SALLY, WE GOTTA GET TO THAT ELEVATOR SOMEHOW: THE TANK HAS LEFT THE BUILDING TO FIGHT OUTSIDE FOR UNKNOWN REASON, BUT NOW THE BUILDING IS SWARMING WITH INFANTRY! GOT ANY IDEAS?"

>Shred the hovercraft's engines with a hail of gunfire and buckshot. Try and forcedly interrogate any survivors with my M249's barrel pointed at their face threatening them with death if they refuse to tell me where the Comcast HQ is.

(5) YOU'VE INTERROGATED A DYING SNIPER FROM THE CRASHED HOVERCRAFT: "THE COMCAST HQ *COUGH*... IS THAT TALL BUILDING WITH A COMCAST LOGO AT THE TOP OF IT *COUGH*! IT WAS NEAR YOU THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU... *COUGH* HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED IT? *SNICKER* HOW PATHETIC AND FEEBLE-MINDED YOU REBELS ARE..." 0CRA KILLS THE SNIPER ONCE SHE TAUNTED HIM FOR BEING SUCH A DOOFUS WHO DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT HE'S NEAR THE COMCAST HQ! YOU SEE HOW THE TANK DRIVES OUTSIDE ONLY FOR THE INFANTRY TO ENTER THE HQ VIA THE HOLE THE TANK MADE!

Break their jaws! Something something taste of their own medicine!

(4-1 VS 5) FRANCIS MONOGRAM ATTEMPTS TO GO FOR AN UPPERCUT, BUT HIS ATTACK GOES WIDE, GIVING DS MEMBERS A CHANCE TO KNOCK HIM DOWN AND CALL REINFORCEMENTS! (6 TURNS FOR ANOTHER DEATH SQUAD TO ARRIVE)

Keep running and try and get in to a subway station.

(5) WHILE THE SUBWAY IS NOW CURRENTLY USED BY THE MILITARY/DEATH SQUADS TO TRANSPORT ACROSS THE CITY, BILLY BOB FINDS A DS MEMBER UNIFORM AND BLENDS WITH THE MILITARY! THE CURRENT SUBWAY TRAIN GOES TO CHINATOWN, DUE TO THE RUMORS THAT THERE ARE ANARCHIST REBELS DRIVING AROUND! DO YOU WANT TO USE THIS SUBWAY?

TELEPORT US TO THE EARTH, PREFERABLY NOT FAR AWAY FROM THE COMCAST HQ!

(3+2) FELIUS AND HIS CAT ARMY TELEPORT TO THE EARTH, LEAVING THE HYBRID CREATURES UTTERLY CONFUSED! (3) THE CAT ARMY IS KINDA CLOSE TO THE CITY CENTER!

WTF? I SAID: "DRIVE TO THE DAMN HQ ALREADY"

(1) THE DRIVER HAS ACCIDENTALLY DROVE INTO A FUEL STATION, CAUSING !!EXPLOSION!! PHIL SWIFT AND THE ANARCHIST BAND ARE DEAD! WHAT A PATHETIC WAY TO DIE!

[Screech9791]

>Organize all rebels to siege the HQ, using military grade explosives to breach through.

If any players want to assist me, then go for it.

[Ozarck]

" I guess pretending to be a potted plant is out of the question. Maybe if we used the desk as a sort of shield and just ran for it? Ooh! I'll pull the fire alarm, you grab the fire extinguisher!"
Ally pulls the fire alarm and dive rolls into the elevator, hoping that Igor uses the extinguisher to lay down a smokescreen and making the infantry duck by spraying it at them. f it makes the infantry into ducks, all the better! (what? Sally's in a lot of pain and is doped up, can't expect clarity here.)

[King Zultan]

Go and ride the train to china town, and get me some Chinese booze.

[The_Two_Eternities]

Grab their walkie-talkies and whack them with it! I don't actually have a pun for this!