TURN 5"Accidentally" clobber Jerry the Security Guard in the head with a pot of coffee when he enters the server room. Apologize profusely and try to clean up the mess/ help Jerry to his feet, while secretly planting a thumb drive with Important Secret Comcast Information on his person.
5 VS 1, 5JERRY THE SECURITY GUARD'S FOREHEAD IS BLEEDING FROM THE STRIKE! THAT'S OKAY, HE ACCEPTS YOUR APOLOGY WHILE YOU PUT A THUMB DRIVE INTO HIS PANTS' POCKET!
4
((OOC NOTE: I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA WHAT'S THAT BATTLE CATS GAME IS ABOUT, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DEEP LORE OF THE FRANCHISE!))
THE CAT BASE IS CONSTRUCTED AND FULLY OPERATIONAL!
(I can tell you the lore of the franchise right now: Some guy made a super weapon for no explained reason, it was an army of cat creatures for no explained reason, they proceed to conquer the world for no explained reason. The only change in the state of the world is that there's more cats. Then they move on to conquering other planets for no explained reason. I'd say that's all you need to know, but you don't even need to know that.
Any further 'lore' is just little one or two sentence blurbs from the in-game descriptions of the individual cats you can acquire and can be pretty much ignored)
Excellent, now that we have a proper base of operations, we need soldiers, let's see if we have a few Cat Capsules lying around and pop those bad boys open.
4 YOU GET A SMALL SQUAD OF TANK CATS!
Bobs: Gain Jobs as Janitors in Comcast.
4-1YOU SUCCESSFULLY APPLY AND GAIN THE TITLE OF FLOOR SCRUBBERS! HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ELECTRICITY TO ACTIVATE AGAIN BEFORE YOU GET YOUR WORKER PDAS AND JOB ASSIGNMENTS!
FLOAT TO COMCAST BRANCH OFFICE, SET SWORD BEACON FOR FURTHER SWORDS.
5, 3YOU UNSTUCK YOURSELF FROM THE SWORD TREE AND FLY TOWARDS THE COMCAST OFFICE! THEN, YOU PROCEED TO PLANT A SWORD BEACON ON THE BUILDING! TURNS OUT, THE SIGNAL IS TOO WEAK FOR A GOOD SWORD BARRAGE, BUT SOME OF THE NEW SWORDS WILL DETECT IT!
>Manually get my gun before cleaning it off.
3, 5YOU'VE BARELY MANAGED TO CATCH YOUR SAIGA SHOTGUN FROM THE STREAM OF FILTH! IF YOU SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE, THE SHOTGUN WOULD'VE BEEN WASHED AWAY! TOO BAD THAT THE FIRING MECHANISM IS NOW RUSTY!
YOU MAKE IT SQUEAKY CLEAN AND EVEN REPLACE THE FIRING MECHANISM!
RIP the brick wall out of the ground and run up the path and plow down the security guards then smash them to death with the wall.
1, 6 VS 6-1, 4YOU FAIL TO RIP THE WALL OUT OF THE GROUND, AND GETS YOUR ARM MUSCLES STRAINED!
AN ELITE SECURITY GUARD SHOOTS AT YOU FROM A GRENADE LAUNCHER, DESTROYING THE WALL AND LEAVING YOU WITHOUT A COVER! SOMEHOW, HAROLD SURVIVES BUT GETS BLASTED AWAY INTO A SUBWAY STATION ENTRANCE!
((WHOOPS! WAS DRUNK AND FORGOT ABOUT UPDATE!))
LEAP INTO THE SEWER!!
IF ROUTER UNHARMED BY BEING SUBMERGED IN SEWER WATER, HAVE HELPFUL SEWER REPTILES AND/OR MUTANTS BITE/CUT IT OFF ME!
5-1 VS 6YOINK ATTEMPTS TO JUMP DOWN THE MANHOLE! HOWEVER, THE ROUTER STRENGTHENS THE GRIP, SO THAT YOINK HANGS UNDER THE MANHOLE, BUT DOESN'T DROP DOWN! EVENTUALLY, YOINK RUNS OUT OF BREATH AND PASSES OUT!
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT UNCONSCIOUSNESS: WHEN YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS, YOU CAN ONLY MAKE ONE AND ONLY ACTION: TRY TO WAKE UP!
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2 (28.6%)
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Topic: ROLL TO FIGHT COMCAST: CORPORATE FUTURE MINIMALIST ARRGH TEE DEE: EPILOGUE (Read 75330 times)