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OOOOOOH, BEEF HAS EXPIRED! AUUUOOH, IT GOT PARASITES!

2 (28.6%)

HOW MANY BREADS HAVE YOU EATEN IN YOUR LIFE?!

0 (0%)

I. LIKE. JUICE!

0 (0%)

HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!

1 (14.3%)

PINGAS!

4 (57.1%)

Total Members Voted: 7

Voting closed: August 18, 2018, 03:36:57 am

[King Zultan]

USE ALL MY RAGE FROM THE LACK OF INTERNET AND RIP A PIPE OUT OF THE WALL AND RUN TO THE COMCAST HQ.

[Screech9791]

>UNFALL INTO THE SEWER BEFORE GOING DOWNTOWN

[Doomblade187]

EXTINGUISH FLAMES, TELEPORT INTO NEAREST COMCAST BRANCH MANAGER

[Yoink]

SCREECH WITH RAGE, RUN INTO THE KITCHEN AND JUMP UP ON THE BENCH TOPS

BEGIN RANSACKING CUPBOARDS FOR HEFTY OBJECTS AND THROWING THEM AT ROUTER

[CABL]

TURN 3

wow. Four ones, a two a three and a four.

Take the coffee out of the room and microwave it for thirty seconds, then return it to the Comcast Branch Manager.

3
THE COFFEE STILL SMELLS SOMEWHAT, BUT IT'S ENOUGH FOR THE COMCAST BRANCH MANAGER! HE THANKS YOU AND STARTS DRINKING THE COFFEE!
1 VS 3
LOOKS LIKE THE MICROWAVE DESTROYED/SPOILED THE POISON! THE BRANCH MANAGER COUGHED A LITTLE, THEN STOPPED! NOW HE WANTS YOU TO TAKE THE CUP AWAY!

USE ALL MY RAGE FROM THE LACK OF INTERNET AND RIP A PIPE OUT OF THE WALL AND RUN TO THE COMCAST HQ.

3,6
YOU TEAR AWAY A RUSTY, DEFORMED PIPE, THEN YOU FIND THE LOCAL COMCAST HQ! SOMEHOW, IT LOOKS LIKE THE SECURITY WAS AWARE THAT YOU'LL COME, AND THEY PUT SOME DECENTLY-SIZED SECURITY SQUAD NEAR THE DOORS! THEY OPEN FIRE WITHOUT ASKING QUESTIONS!
6 VS 6
AS THE SECURITY SHOOTS AT HAROLD, HE THROWS THE PIPE AT THEM WHILE RUNNING, THEN DIVES BEHIND A BRICK WALL! THE PIPE SEEMS TO HAVE THRASHED A HELMET AND A SKULL OF A SECURITY GUARD, WHILE HAROLD REALIZES THAT HIS LEFT LEG GOT HIT WITH A LOT OF BULLETS!

>UNFALL INTO THE SEWER BEFORE GOING DOWNTOWN

1
YOU FALL INSANELY FAST AND THE STREAM OF FILTHY WATER WASHES YOU AWAY!
3 YOU SAVE YOURSELF, BUT NOW YOU'RE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT QUARTER OF THE CITY, AWAY FROM BOTH THE SLUMS AND THE DOWNTOWN!

EXTINGUISH FLAMES, TELEPORT INTO NEAREST COMCAST BRANCH MANAGER

3, 1
YOU EXTINGUISH THE FLAMES AND THEN ATTEMPT TO TELEPORT INTO COMCAST BRANCH MANAGER'S CHEST! YOU TELEPORT AND GET STUCK IN A TREE TRUNK, LOCATED IN THE CITY'S OUTSKIRTS!

SCREECH WITH RAGE, RUN INTO THE KITCHEN AND JUMP UP ON THE BENCH TOPS

BEGIN RANSACKING CUPBOARDS FOR HEFTY OBJECTS AND THROWING THEM AT ROUTER

1, 2, 2
YOUR SCREECHING IS PATHETIC, AND YET YOU'VE MANAGED TO BLOW YOUR VOCAL CHORDS!
YOU BREAK THE BENCH WITH YOUR WEIGHT!
YOU'RE TOO SHORT TO REACH FOR THE CUPBOARDS!
4, 4
THE ROUTER IS POSSESSED WITH SOME EVIL TECH-SPIRIT!
IT UNPLUGS ITSELF WITH EASE!
6 VS 1
THE ROUTER SNEAKILY STRANGLES YOINK FROM BEHIND: YOINK HAS ALMOST LOST HIS CONSCIOUSNESS!

[Ozarck]

Tell that asshole that I work in IT, and am not his underpaid secretary. I was doing him a favor, the worthless ass. He can wash his own damned cup. Then huff away to the server room and start flipping switches.

[Yoink]

THESE HAVE TO BE WORST ROLLS I'VE HAD IN ANY RTD.  EVER. WHOA.

RUN OUTSIDE WHILST TRYING TO LOOSEN ROUTER CORD FROM NECK, OR AT LEAST PROTECT WINDPIPE

IF VOICE WORK GOOD ENOUGH, TRY CONVINCE ROUTER TO JOIN FORCES, TO TAKE REVENGE ON EVIL COMCAST THAT HAS ENSLAVED IT FOR SO LONG

[Screech9791]

>Have my Saiga-12 suddenly rematerialize in my hands before looking for the nearest Comcast office to shoot up.

Also ask the nearest gun store if there is one if I can buy extra buckshot shells.

[Doomblade187]

Turn tree into sword tree to grow a sword army.

[King Zultan]

Go to the hospital and get my leg fixed then steal an ambulance.

[Failbird105]

NAME: Cat Jobs
APPEARANCE:

GENDER: Tom
WOUNDS: NONE

Construct a cat base to begin work on reclaiming the Internet for cat-kind

[HugeNerdAndProudOfIt]

Bobs: Subdivide into Micro-Bobs and infiltrate Comcast!

[CABL]

TURN 4

Tell that asshole that I work in IT, and am not his underpaid secretary. I was doing him a favor, the worthless ass. He can wash his own damned cup. Then huff away to the server room and start flipping switches.

6, 4
YOUR BARRAGE OF INSULTS AND SWEARING MAKES THE BRANCH MANAGER SIT SPEECHLESS, THEN YOU GO AND START TO RABIDLY FLIP SWITCHES! IT CAUSES A POWER OUTAGE FOR THE WHOLE BUILDING! UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKS LIKE SECURITY HEARD YOU INSULTING THE BOSS AND WENT AFTER YOU!

THESE HAVE TO BE WORST ROLLS I'VE HAD IN ANY RTD.  EVER. WHOA.

RUN OUTSIDE WHILST TRYING TO LOOSEN ROUTER CORD FROM NECK, OR AT LEAST PROTECT WINDPIPE

IF VOICE WORK GOOD ENOUGH, TRY CONVINCE ROUTER TO JOIN FORCES, TO TAKE REVENGE ON EVIL COMCAST THAT HAS ENSLAVED IT FOR SO LONG

6-1 VS 5, 1
YOU MANAGE TO BREAK THE STRANGLE GRIP FOR A MOMENT AND RUN OUTSIDE! THE ROUTER CHASES YOU AND PUTS A STRANGLING GRIP AT YOU AGAIN! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOUR VOCAL CHORDS DAMAGE IS TOO SEVERE TO SAY ANYTHING COHERENT!

>Have my Saiga-12 suddenly rematerialize in my hands before looking for the nearest Comcast office to shoot up.

Also ask the nearest gun store if there is one if I can buy extra buckshot shells.

2
IT DOESN'T REMATERIALIZE! SAD!

Turn tree into sword tree to grow a sword army.

4
USING YOUR SWORD MAGIC, THE TREE TRUNK GROWS INTO A NEW TREE, WHICH CAN EVENTUALLY GROW NEW COPIES OF YOU! IT'LL TAKE A WHILE, THOUGH!

Go to the hospital and get my leg fixed then steal an ambulance.

6-1 VS 5
THE SUPPRESSING FIRE IS TOO STRONG FOR YOU TO LEAVE YOUR BRICK WALL COVER!

NAME: Cat Jobs
APPEARANCE:

GENDER: Tom
WOUNDS: NONE

Construct a cat base to begin work on reclaiming the Internet for cat-kind

4
((OOC NOTE: I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA WHAT'S THAT BATTLE CATS GAME IS ABOUT, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DEEP LORE OF THE FRANCHISE!))
THE CAT BASE IS CONSTRUCTED AND FULLY OPERATIONAL!

Bobs: Subdivide into Micro-Bobs and infiltrate Comcast!

2 YOU NEED TO WAIT BEFORE YOU CAN USE YOUR CLONING ABILITIES AGAIN!

[Ozarck]

"Accidentally" clobber Jerry the Security Guard in the head with a pot of coffee when he enters the server room. Apologize profusely and try to clean up the mess/ help Jerry to his feet, while secretly planting a thumb drive with Important Secret Comcast Information on his person.

[Failbird105]

4
((OOC NOTE: I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA WHAT'S THAT BATTLE CATS GAME IS ABOUT, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE DEEP LORE OF THE FRANCHISE!))
THE CAT BASE IS CONSTRUCTED AND FULLY OPERATIONAL!

(I can tell you the lore of the franchise right now: Some guy made a super weapon for no explained reason, it was an army of cat creatures for no explained reason, they proceed to conquer the world for no explained reason. The only change in the state of the world is that there's more cats. Then they move on to conquering other planets for no explained reason. I'd say that's all you need to know, but you don't even need to know that.
Any further 'lore' is just little one or two sentence blurbs from the in-game descriptions of the individual cats you can acquire and can be pretty much ignored)

Excellent, now that we have a proper base of operations, we need soldiers, let's see if we have a few Cat Capsules lying around and pop those bad boys open.