I've always wanted a manual on breathing, those things are spectacularly interesting if only for the crackpot theories and wildly apocryphal 'medical proof'.
If possible, I'd like to curate a library and just get tomes of the most outlandish subjects possible.
Do we have a new quest? Looks like we do.
Fred the Mitey was sitting in a half-finished wood stockpile, smoked cave fish in his hands. He wasn't happy about having to work by himself, but at least he could take breaks whenever he felt like it, and no one bothered him while he was eating his lunch. Or at leat that was the case until now.
"Fred! Freddy boy! I gotta ask you something!" Fred winced upon hearing Scourge's voice. His day was officially ruined.
"Don't ever call me that again" the miner said, putting his fish away.
"Sure, sure. I wanted to ask you if you know what house priestesses actually do. Looks like I've been chosen because I have the nicest legs, and while I'm flattered that SQ noticed that, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing."
"Now that's a hard question, isn't it? I have to admit I haven't spent a lot of time with priestesses, but I can tell you what I heard from others, hope you'll be satisfied and let me eat my lunch. Priestesses sacrifice prisoners to Lolth, take care of sacred spiders, degrade their manservants for very little reason, have drunken orgies together..."
"I can't do things like that!" Scourge snapped "We have no prisoners, and the spiders take good care for themselves!"
"You can always indulge in sinister plotting against enemies real and imaginary"
"So being a priestess is about being bitter and bullying Imic, I get it now. Thanks Freddy boy!
SQ, Lunardog and Darkening Kaos were standing around a barrel of freshly brewed shiitake wine. Lunardog had a particularly proud look on his face, as the wine was his creation.
"No matter what others may say, shiitake IS a good replacement for plump helmets. What do you think, ladies?" Lunardog assumed a power pose with his hands on his hips, and a triumphant expression on his face.
"I think it stinks and tastes like filthy puddle water" Kaos said bluntly "don't quit your day job."
"This is my day job!" Lunardog almost lost his composure, but he managed to calm down "SQ, why don't you tell me what you think?"
"I... I'd rather not" SQ muttered.
"Go on, there won't be any trouble brewing for you if say you didn't like it"
"I think I prefer filthy puddle water to this, but then I vaguely remember you saying you actually like sewer brew, so I guess it's an acquired taste" the expedition leader admitted, avoiding eye contact with Lunardog.
"A taste I have no intention acquiring" Kaos added.
Lunardog covered the barrel, and shook his head in disappointment "It's been a real barrel o' fun talking with you about personal tastes, ladies. I'm sure Fred, Scourge and Imic will have radically different opinions. I'm NOT taking it personally, in case you wondered." he then went to get more shiitake for brewing.
"He totally took it personally" Kaos sneered.
Darkening Kaos wasn't wasting any more of her time. The space for workshop has already been excavated, so she gathered her tools and assembled an array of workshops, and a sawmill. Fred the Mitey watched with bewilderment as Kaos was building a saw out of wood only. Granted, it was sawwood, but it was still hardly a wood cutting material.
The rattusite put down his hatchet. He was convinced that if he put his heart to it, he could chop down the whole forest in a week, but he liked trees, and SQ wasn't giving him new orders, so he decided to find himself other things to do. He noticed a pile of mussels in the food stockpile, and Petrel's fishing supplies.
"Wow, you're really good at cleaning mussels" Lunardog praised the ratman "although I doubt this is really sanitary"
"Just because he's a rat? I bet his hands are cleaner than mine right now" SQ said, showing Lunardog her dirt-covered hands.
"Listen to the girly, mr. fancypants. You were awfully judge-a-mental right now" the rattusite said while cracking open another mussel.
"I wouldn't let her touch my food either, no offense SQ. How is shearing going anyway?" Lunardog changed the topic.
"This is usually Scourge's job" SQ complained "she did teach me the basics, but the basics include shaving rothe, molecows, and badgerdogs, not trolls."
"I BE CUT! YOU BAD SHEAR! DON'T CUT!" the female troll grumbled.
The male troll looked over from the field and shouted "Calm down, hun! Happens to the best of us! Hey, bwoss, can youse get the other dame to give me a haircut?"
"This much I can do" SQ agreed.
SQ went upstairs to talk to Scourge. The pretend-priestess was relaxing in the wagon, taking advantage of her sunburn-resistant charcoal-black skin. Imic was sitting under a tree nearby, looking at the woman with an absent stare and a slight smile. Neither of them was aware of SQ's presence, even though she wasn't trying to hide at all.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your hard work" SQ said snarkily. The both drows immediately regained their consciousness.
"Oh, SQ! We've just finished our 'training regimen', we were just resting" Scourge made it clear that it was something more than combat training.
"Yeah... I started shearing animals, and the trolls aren't happy with my work. Could you do some actual work instead lounging here?" the expedition leader asked. She felt guilty for bothering the two, but the job needed to be done.
"Let's go, Imic, take that rothe, and I'll show you what to do" Scourge told her 'servant'.
"Wait, there are only two workshops for that! What about me?" SQ protested.
"You can take a break. If I'm to lead the militia, I have to form a bond with my soldiers, and what's a better way to do it than working together?" Scourge winked meaningfully. SQ didn't feel happy for her friend, in fact she felt extremely jealous. On the other hand, she was happy to have some time to rest. Before she managed to process her feelings, Scourge and Imic had already gathered the rothe and went down to the workshops.
A group of tiny creatures was sneaking in the food stockpile.
"Oi! Amxu! They've got summa that shit-take wine in 'ere!"
"Shut ya trap, Dostngosp! Ya dun wan' 'em ta hear ya!"
"Oi, lads, anyone seen Kupmosp?"
"'e's been climmin' tha barrel o' clams last time I saw 'im. 'e was s'posed ta git us sum."
"Wait, can ya 'ear this?"
"S-s-s..."
"Whazzat, lads? What are ya... lookin'... at?"
"SPIDAH!"
The confused goblizard turned around to see a spider multiple times larger than him brandishing its monstrous fangs "OI! Wait fer me!"
A second later the goblizard was laying on the floor wrapped in spider silk, slowly melting from the inside.
SQ was working outside, looking for smaller pieces of wood to carry to the stockpile. She was still feeling down after learning about Scourge's new relationship. Suddenly Imic approached her with a cup in his hand.
"Miss SQ! I had an idea! You gotta see this!"
"What is it, Imic" SQ responded coldly, freezingly even "I don't feel like talking to you right now, so make it quick."
"O-of course, miss SQ. I've noticed we have a lot of shells just laying around, so I thought I could use them to decorate our stuff with them. This is the symbol of our people, I know it's a bit rough, but I'm getting the hang of it."
"That's it, then. Do whatever you like, carve shells, swing your sword, court Scourge" SQ was getting angrier with every second of looking at Imic. Finally she exploded "Get out of here, NOW! I don't wanna see you ever again!"
Imic, despite being twice the size of SQ, got terrified. He backed off slowly, not saying anything, trying to avoid confrontation. This strategy worked on blind cave bears, but this was more like a rabid moleweasel situation.
SQ kicked a nearby tree branch as hard as she could, and screamed in rage. Then she curled into the fetal position and cried while shaking in anger. Normally she would go talk to Scourge for comfort, but she had no desire to see her friend. She didn't even know if they were friends anymore.
Fred the Mitey was in a digging frenzy. He's finished excavating wood and stone stockpiles from soft clay, and felt the need to undertake a more ambitious project. To this moment everyone was sleeping on the ground like animals. Fred quickly scribbled a plan for bedrooms, which he planned to carve out of solid rock. There will be eight rooms - one for each drow, and one extra for an actual house priestess, if someone like that shows up.
Non drows will get small rooms, simillar to those in the capital's slum district. Those rooms will be a level below the drow bedrooms, because some people didn't like to mingle with lesser races.
Coal and porcelain! The discovery only fueled Fred's mining rage. He was tearing through soft dolomite like a madman. If solid stone walls couldn't stop him, nothing could. Suddenly he dropped his pickaxe, ripped his shirt off, flashed extremely brightly with his faerie fire, and yelled: "UNLIMITED POWER!"
"SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLE!" Lunardog shouted from upstairs. This stopped Fred's momentum completely. He remembered he was an administrator above all, and getting this excited about digging was basically accepting his position as a pitiful lowlife. His magical light has faded completely, leaving him to ponder his fate in darkness.
Meanwhile, everybody on the surface felt an eldritch presence.
The tiny creatures didn't seem hostile, but their alien appearance was unsettling.
Spring ended, making way for summer. The first month passed quickly and uneventfully. First underberries started going ripe for the harvest, and the stockpile for cloth and leather industry were already partially done. That kept both Lunardog and Fred busy.
SQ was wandering around the burrow, doing odd jobs to keep her mind off the issue with Scourge and Imic.
Scourge still wasn't done with spinning the rothe wool. She did notice that something was wrong with her friend, but was reluctant to ask, instead she's been spending whole days by the spinning wheel.
Imic felt extremely uncomfortable, hiding from SQ's sight. He more or less barricaded himself in the craftsman's workshop, carving little stars out of mussel shells.
MottledPetrel didn't care about other people's drama. In fact, he was perfectly content to spend the days collecting mussels just to avoid getting involved.
Finally, Darkening Kaos was too busy to care about anything. She managed to finish the order for beds, now she was working on cabinets. Then she had to construct barrels and bucket for the shroomery, and mechanisms for the silk reel and the spidery. It wasn't much different from what she had been doing in the capital, but this work at least felt meaningful, and no one judged her career choices. The only thing she was missing was her forge, with an anvil, tongs and hammers.
The life almost became monotonous, until one day MottledPetrel came running to SQ shouting: "Migrants! Migrants on the horizon! I think they're from the capital!
"W-what? I thought... I thought we would get some kind of warning to prepare beforehand! We have to assemble a commitee of some sort!" a different expedition leader would have handled the migrant situation on their own, but SQ wasn't particularly fond of meeting new people. "Get everyone here, we have to decide who's on the commitee."
MottledPetrel hurried to fetch everybody. Luckily he managed to do that in a couple of minutes instead of hours, like he often did.
"I'm in charge, so I have to be there,
even if I don't want to" SQ began. Everyone nodded in agreement "Fred is the administrator, so he should be a member of the commitee too, to take notes if nothing else" everyone nodded again, no one could disaggree with that "Who else... Lunardog, you know how to deal with snotty high-borns, don't you?"
"I prefer 'arrogant nobility', but yes, you could say that"
"Great, you're in. Next, Kaos, umm... I don't think there is a single profession you haven't dabbled in. Think you could be able to tell a master from an amateur?"
"I don't know, as you said, I've only dabbled in a lot of things" Darkening Kaos hesitated "Not sure if I'm..."
"That's great to hear, you're in!" SQ interrupted "That means we have a full commitee. Now let's wait for..."
"*COUGH* Aren't you forgetting about something?" Scourge cut SQ off.
"I'm not really interested in Petrel's opinion, so..."
"How about me and Imic? Mostly about me, because Imic is, well, Imic"
"And what exactly do you have to say, Scourge? You're not a real priestess, and you're not an expert on anything that I'm not."
"I'm also your best friend, almost a sister in fact"
"But am I your best friend? Or maybe you think I'm just a parasite that stuck to you, and you can't get rid of it. I've been nothing but trouble to you, with my crying and temper tantrums, you can't expect me to believe you think of me as a friend!"
"SQ..." Scourge was shocked. She stared at the expedition leader with disbelief.
"Enough! Commitee, to the wagon, that's where we're welcoming the migrants."
The four drows gathered on the wagon. They were all uneasy because of SQ's recent argument with Scourge, and the fact that a wave of migrants was getting close wasn't making this situation any more pleasant. Lunardog, being the tallest, stood up to look around. He saw two drows making their way through tall savanna grass.
"Umm... How many do you expect, SQ?" he said
"I dunno, maybe twenty? That's reasonable"
"There's two"
The two travellers stopped by the wagon. A male of average build and a sly smile, and a corpulent female, visibly exhausted. SQ recognized the male.
"ZM5?! What are you doing here?" she shouted in surprise.
"Oh, I knew I would be greeted by cute girls, but you, SQ? And who are those other two beautiful ladies?" ZM5 was obviously too distracted to answer SQ's question.
"Oh, let me guess..." Lunardog mumbled grumpily.
"One beautiful lady" the newcomer corrected himself, centering his attention on Darkening Kaos, who didn't know what to say, as she wasn't used to flattery. "You know that gnomes greet each other by kissing? How about we greet each other the gnomish way?"
"I think I asked you a question, ZM5" SQ said sternly. Even after the outlash at Scourge, the rest was surprised to see the girl behave so unlike herself.
"Okay, darling, where to start... Okay, you know about my pottery shop, right? It's been twenty years since I opened it, and I've decided to celebrate it properly. I went to the pub with a bunch of friends. I was hoping to have a good time, drink beer, maybe meet a cute priestess, but then there was this guy, this brute harrassing a defenceless lady. If there's one thing worth fighting for, it's a lady's honor."
"Ah, we might get along well then" Lunardog said, having already forgotten ZM5's recent mistake. "You may be a middler, but you have a noble spirit"
"A noble spirit, huh? Anyway, that bastard knew hehad no chance against me, so he pulled out a dagger, but as you know, SQ, I'm somewhat of a dagger enthusiast myself. Turns out he was a lawman, and the lady was running from the law. I was given a choice - coming here or rotting in jail"
"That's exactly what I expected from you. Is there something you're particularly good at?" SQ inquired.
"Pottery and knife fighting, but you already know this. I also know my way around mechanisms, and I can shoot crossbow, but every man should. Where is Scourge?" ZM5 added out of nowhere.
"Why would she be here?" SQ growled with hostility in her eyes.
ZM5's relaxed expression became completely serious, signifying that he accepted the girl's challenge "you can't lie to me,
Weri, you wouldn't come here without her, and there is no way she could let you do it. Something happened between you two" SQ shuddered when he addressed her by her birth name "I know you have... problems, and I know as a fact that you wouldn't get this far without someone who can deal with them."
"I don't have problems any, Lerine" SQ tried to say ZM5's true name in the same hair-raising way, but she failed to achieve the effect "I'm as capable as anyone"
"Someone could just ask you to give up your position, and you would" this time both Fred and Lunardog shuddered, having remembered their conversation from the day they arrived in this place. Did ZM5 know? "Such a filmsy, delicate creature couldn't possibly stay in power on her own. You're just not fit for that, neither physically nor emotionally.
Fere spent her life protecting you from your own weakness, you can barely function without someone like her."
"How do you say those names so... powerfully?" Fred butted in, but was ignored.
"I haven't talked to her in a month, I don't need her anymore." SQ replied to ZM5
"Check. She's here, and you can't deny it any more." ZM5's uncaring expression returned on his face. "We'll continue our little discussion later. For now, I gotta find Scourge and thank her properly for keeping you alive. See ya!"
"Is there... anything going on between you and this guy? You seem to know each other pretty well" Lunardog noticed.
"That's a story for another time, right now I... we need to get rid of him" SQ said as if it was something obvious.
"Too bad we're a commitee, and we decide together" Lunardog protested. He felt like he was talking to an impostor, not the real SQ. "He's a decent man, maybe likes women a little too much, but no one is perfect, and that's not the worst negative trait to have."
"I agree with Lunardog" Darkening Kaos joined the discussion "He's a charming... I mean talented man. Twenty years of mastering pottery is nothing to sneeze at"
"Sure, let a troublemaker like him in just because he can talk to women and make useless clay trinkets" the expedition leader did't want to give up. "Count Fred the Mighty, you're the only reasonable one in here, tell them we don't need ZM5 in our settlement"
"Do you really think this will get you anywhere? I don't know what happened to the old you, but I will do everything to oppose the new you. ZM5 stays." Fred and SQ stared at each other with determination in their eyes. Finally, to claim his victory, Fred added lightheartedly "I gotta ask him how he does that thing where he says someone's name and everyone gets goosebumps."
SQ stood up and headed to her bedroom. She was convinced that everybody was working against her. On the way she met Scourge who was trying to talk to her, but SQ just gave her a hateful look. Scourge stood there with her eyes wide open, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Good job, Fred" Lunardog said to his old friend. It was hard to guess if he was serious or not "you did exactly what you were supposed not to do, yet I'm glad you did it. I can't stand watching her turning into a self-centered sociopath. The faster we figure out what's going on the better. Meanwhile, I think we have one more migrant to talk to."
The female drow was still trying to catch her breath. It was apparent that she wasn't in her top shape, in fact she looked barely alive.
"Don't... worry... about... me" she gasped "I'll be... fine"
"I can't say I care about your wellbeing all that much" Lunardog admitted. "Unless you have skills that we might consider useful"
"I've been a shearer... in the slave pits. If you ever wondered... who shaved the 'stray' trolls... it was me" the woman attempted to look proud, but in her state it was near impossible. "I can also take care of insect hives... and burn wood."
"I don't think we need someone like you, miss..."
"Schmendrick"
"Schmendrick" Lunardog finished. He obviously didn't like anything about the woman, her skills, her physical weakness, even her name.
"I don't know, Scourge might appreciate some help, now that SQ doesn't want to talk to her" Kaos noticed "Say, Schmendrick, how do you feel about spinning and weaving?"
"I always had something else do that for me" Schmendrick answered nervously "I've never touched a spinning wheel or a loom. I'm eager to learn, though"
Lunardog shook his head "You won't be once you meet Scourge, but when I think about it, I could use some help with the stills myself."
"Right, we're not exactly in a position to be picky, are we?" Fred the Mitey added "welcome aboard, Schmendrick"
Plot wise: DRAMA
I didn't intend for Imic and Scourge to get together, really. They were the only compatible drows, both being in their 140s. The only other likely couple right now are SQ and ZM5, but they won't be spending much time together once we start training our militia.
Game wise: It didn't go exactly as I planned. There was supposed to be more migrants, including someone who could be a house priestess. A great potter is fine, considering we have kaolinite, but ZM5 wanted to be a soldier, so as soon as we get an anvil, Kaos will forge him a dagger. The female migrant is pathetic, high master in shearing which is instant and doesn't benefit from high skill, plus expert at beekiping which is useless. She probably couldn't lift a dagger, let alone full armor. ZM5 is weak too, but at least his physical attributes are all higher than 20
(the first 6 are physical attributes, 1st is strength)
0 strength everybody. At this point I'm considering keeping Scourge as a house priestess because her stats are really good
Only Imic (67), Lunardog (59), and the male troll (73) are stronger than her, and those guys can't be priestesses for obvious reason.
Also, Fred the Mitey became a legendary +1 miner in a single season, what a champ. He hasn't found us any metal, but it's just a matter of time.
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Topic: LCM - Dungeonevened - The End (Read 41214 times)