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[FallacyofUrist]

Next item: The Couch of Doom. A couch made specifically by an evil overlord to help control his prisoners, it slowly brainwashes anyone who uses it into being a couch potato and obedient.

[TamerVirus]

Upholstered in rich Corinthian leather

[Starver]

There's a thing like a Remote Control Pouch at one side. It holds the previously described sword (somehow), but at the wrong side to be useful. And if you try to put a remote control in it, it spits it out (not now, but at some undetermined point in pre-history).

[Leodanny]

It has shackles that aren’t actually connected to anything, just ridiculously heavy, which means that the only thing you can do in them is play video games and eat junk food!

[Enemy post]

One armrest ends in a sculpted dragon's head.

[The_Two_Eternities]

The couch itself is shaped like a potato, making it very hard to sit on.

[FallacyofUrist]

Naturally, just in case, there's two pounds of C-4 buried inside the couch, ready to go off.

[HugeNerdAndProudOfIt]

Due to a strange coincidence involving five pounds of beef jerky, a spelling error on a modem refund form, and 400 bananas, the couch is currently occupied by three clowns, two monkeys, and a dead tiger.

[Starver]

Only the tiger is not baud.

[Leodanny]

And the memes you create while upon this couch will go viral

[FallacyofUrist]

Next thing: The Gold Moon. This massive sphere of golden rock gets its color from a rare type of rock that reacts with the acid rain on the planet to form golden clouds of mist.

[Leodanny]

The mist is deadly, causing people to dance until they die from exhaustion

[TamerVirus]

Naturally, Dwarves live there

[Maximum Spin]

It was built by leprechauns using unknown forms of magic.

[Enemy post]

There's a massive sculpted dragon head on the far side.