A true blue zamboni infestation near New Orleans. I hate zambonis, so if it's a big one, I'm not gonna bother. The same with monsters in India.
Our agents scrabled around the Indian village, what in hindsight might have been a bad idea. Ms. Megafauna found an open door, signifying some activity. A single enemy that can fit through the door... We wouldn't have got an unmarked chrysalid mission, right? Right?
The squad managed to regroup, but the monster didn't show up. I wonder if it even is in there.
Nothing here. There's another open door. During the enemy turn we got a brief sight on the target, but I couldn't see what it was.
False alarm, it's just a civilian. Bad news is: there's still a chance we're dealing with a reaper.
Actual contact! Good news: it's not a reaper. Bad news:
It's a giant gay frog! It's a new thing and I have no idea how to deal with it. Shotguns and flamethrowers can solve a lot of problems, so why not this one.
Finding the amphibian menace and regrouping took so long the game actually showed us the location of all enemies. Seems like there's only this one frog.
This guy was getting too friendly with Ms. Attention, so he needed to be pacified. Actually he was just blocking the exit.
It's... underwhelming. It's a 2x2 creature, but the sprite makes it look like a small one. Now let's see if it's afraid of fire.
Holy reaction fire Batman! Mr. Taste set the frog on fire and got spit at for good stun damage.
Ms. Attention is down, but with no actual damage. The frog is bleeding, but seeing how it can't move, it will have full TUs for the next turn, ready for reaction fire.
It must have passed out from bleeding, because we've managed to capture it live.
The zamboni infestation was huge, so I abandoned immediately. There was no civvies, so no penalty.
Dr. Vahlen gaves us some penis enlargement pills after we failed to interrogate a supporter of Dagon. Made me curious about the frog.
Monthly report says we're doing good, and the council wants to give us more green.
Come on, Red Dawn, you gotta be kidding me. Out of all places to build a safehouse in...
Then fish amish klan in South Africa.
Mr. Inglenook drove us all the way to the safehouse where we were greeted by two nice gentlemen with knives. We're not giving them our money and phones this time.
First things first, Mr. Inglenook deploys smoke.
And sprays the nearest thug with his MP5. At least he's not cold anymore.
Heidi the dog discovered a guy in a white shirt standing on the other side of the map. He's got an UZI, but at this range he's not likely to hit anyone.
A hidden dude! Mr. Sufficient got hit twice from this guy's SMG, but kevlar reduced the damage to 1 point. A grenade seems like a proper payback.
The guy on the roof got an incendiary as a gift, in case the HE grenade doesn't reach. I was supposed to save it for some big guy, but whatever.
This is what it looks like right now. The grenade obviously ripped that sneaky guy into pieces, and the incendiary set the roof dude on fire, but four new skinheads came out. Now it would be the time to toss a 'nade. None of them is properly armed, just small pistols and Skorpions.
SMGs seem to be effective against weak enemies huddled together, and with support from two shotgunners.
This pioneer can see through smoke, and he's got some communist pistol, but more about him later.
Mr. Sufficient embraced his inner ninja and took down a knifeman with throwing knives. Just as venomous as a real ninja, just worse at hiding in smoke.
The pioneer took a full blast from Mr. Cactus's shotgun, and got some nasty mortal wounds.
Heidi snuck up to the white shirt guy and bit him to death. I should have caught him, but it's too late now.
More thugs! At least this time they're coming in waves. They all have knives, one of them has a Skorpion, and they're all bleeding from Mr. Inglenook unloading at them with MP5. Skorpion fella was quickly finished off by Mr. Cactus, one knifeman got a throwing knife lodged in his neck.
The remaining thug panicked and wasted his turn, so I could heal Mr. Sufficient's two wounds. Mr. Sufficient then threw his last knife at the ganger killing him.
The pioneer is still holding, but Heidi is already on it... oh, she ran out of stamina, but that didn't matter because the pioneer died the next turn.
Got some good stuff. Makarov, Tokarev TT-30 (the commie pistol), Throwing stars for maximum ninjutsu, and plot-relevant durathread. Most of the other crap was immediately sold.
Self-heals in convenient 1x1 packaging, very handy to have. It unlocked researching of a biolab, but first let's get the scientist to help interrogate the MiB agent we caught.
Meanwhile in South Africa, agents Silly, Attention, Shoestring, and Byrd Jr. parked by the Dagon safehouse. The green klansmen were prepared.
Unfortunately for them, Ms. Attention's shotgun was ready, and her hands were quick. She killed a Sten-wielding cultists, and Mr. Silly sniped a Mosin guy, causing fatal wounds, but not immediate death.
Byrd Jr. was hit! Just a single fatal wound, but Mr. Byrd Jr. can do much more damage. And he did.
Sending low-ranking initiates to try to ambush us while real cultists snipe from distance. That's messed up, but we just missed a soul harvest a month ago, so we haven't seen the worst.
So this was a trap - the hideout was filled to the brim with worthless rookies. It's like the base defense mission in Enemy Within, but the bad guys are at the receiving end.
Byrd Jr. didn't lastlong. Literally everyone targeted him, and even a wounded Sten guy hit him from across the map. It was a bullshit death, so Mr. Byrd Jr. Jr. will be joining the forces immediately.
Ms. Attention and Mr. Silly cleared the green klansmen from the desert, so we can focus the assault on the safehouse. Mr. Shoestring already fed a crossbowman a shell of buckshot.
The boys focused on a shotgunner, and Ms. Attention was watching their backs, and for a good reason. She prevented a billhook being lodged in someone's head.
I had the team equip their nightsticks, but that might have been a mistake. There's a crossbowman we can't see, and as we know, kevlar doesn't protect from crossbow bolts.
Oh. The gun I misidentified as Moist Nugget was in fact a generic bolt-action rifle.
Good reactions, but it's worthless without good accuracy. Not a fantastic agent.
Vengeance incarnate, would be perfect for using light, stabby melee weapons if he had more stamina.
For now let's deal with furries. This time it's the Warriors fandom, not sparkledogs.
they actually wear clothes over their fursuits, which somehow makes them even creepier.
They aren't bulletproof, but they can take two full blasts from a shotgun. There's no way I'm letting them anywhere near Heidi, even with Heidi's brand new kevlar suit.
Mr. Sufficient and Mr. Cactus both got yiffed to death! Restaurant in Pisa, brave dinernauts. The question is: can two bursts from MP5 finish the cat off?
Six shots, and only two hit... Mr. Inglenook is the worst shot, holy shit. The game was merciful this time, and the werecat fainted on its turn, granting us an another research topic.
Monsters in North Korea and it's spikeboars. I finally remembered to equip the agents with Nitro Express rifles, so maybe we have a chance here.
It took three shots, but it's dead. Those are guns for killing elephants, mind you.
The other boar was just around the corner. I would be feeling more comfortable if Ms. Attention wasn't standing on that hill with no TUs.
It wasn't that bad after all, just a flesh wound. She retaliated by packing two .600 bullets into the spikeboar. One more and we've got ourselves nice 106 points, and Kim Jong Il's blessing.
Witches know the secret of MIND BULLETS, but only if they have MIND BULLET guns. The telekinetic shield would have been a great asset if the witch hadn't just surrendered after we killed all her ninjas. Don't blame her, though, we would have probably killed her, and now she's only gonna spend some time in prison.
I'll gladly pay for chairs if that means we'll start getting useful stuff from interrogations.
Oh, wait, that's big. I'm not sure, but that might unlock another promotion. But biolab should get done first.
Then there was cattle mutilation in the UK. Hopefuly not MiBs this time.
And EXALT in New Orleans. Can we get there on time? We haven't even started their arc yet.
Just farmers, good. We can just whack them and go home.
Ms. Attention is quickly becoming my favorite. She's a coward, and her reactions are abysmal, but both firing and melee accuracy are over 70.
How? We have to stop him from stealing our van!
Also, why is there a single lone cauliflower growing in this patch of grass?
Mr. Inglenook failed to take down the farmer, but Ms. Attention came to save the day with her tazer.
New cannon fodder. I decided to solve Mr./Ms. problem once and for all - if I can't tell someone's sex by the name, I'll just call them an agent until I find out on the mission. Now, other agents should use Mr. or Ms. when referring to them on the field, because they can't make it obvious to civilians we're semi-secret agents. Also, Agent Babe can't do anything besides running.
We've immediately got a sight on a suspect. The agents are all armed with magnums and tazers, so we're ready to get him dead or alive.
There's two of them,but this is not getting out of hand. The first guy has got a glock and a knife, so he has to be really lucky to actually hurt our agents. The other guy has got some sort of SMG, I think. I'm european, you can't expect me to know my guns!
Mr. Shoestring and Mr. Hostess teamed up to arrest the knifeguy. We've already won, the rest is just a formality.
I already know the SMG has trouble getting through kevlar, so Mr. Byrd Jr. Jr., as the lowest ranking agent will act as a bullet sponge. I had him stand up to be the only immediate target for the EXALT agent...
Who decided to flank and beat Mr. Shoestring with his fist for 0 damage. So much for my brilliant strategy.
Glock, knife and cash will be used to feed our bank account. Calico... I still don't know which Calico gun this is, M-750 maybe?
Psiclone is a psionic implant from X-Com: Apocalypse. By all accounts it shouldn't exist for another 80 years, but here we are.
Speaking of things that shouldn't exist, EXALT is from Enemy Within, so they shouldn't exist for another twenty years.
If we're merging timelines, that means it goes like this: Bureau -> X-Com: UFO Defense -> Xcom: Enemy Unknown/Within (where Xcom lost) -> Xcom 2 -> X-Com: Terror from the Deep -> X-Com: Apocalypse, unless we lose, which would make it go like this: Bureau -> X-Com: UFO Defense -> XPiratez. Oh, and there's Xenonauts somewhere in there too, and a certain enemy hints that UFO: Aftershock is also part of X-Com extended universe. Oh, and Interceptor and Enforcer, but we don't speak about those.
Soul harvest on an unspecified Atlantic Island. We probably can't make it on time, but we can try. I was right, we couldn't make it.
The soul harvest was a huge kick in the proverbial nuts, but it seems only leafs are really upset. Those fools are asking for the rakening carried out with a muton's plasma rake.
We had all those extra scientists just idling around with no lab space, but now we'll be able to make them work. Recovery speed up is also nice. Abducted farmer and throwing stars need to be researched next.
Monsters in America, Black Lotus in Australia. Boring. Then EXALT suspects in Havana, but we already have two to start the arc.
The abducted farmer told us about anal probing. Maybe the EXALT operative will tell us something that will be of any use.
Not the best place to stop, but sinceit was Heidi who was driving, I'm still impressed we managed to get here at all. Five pyjama guys and they all have the high ground. I'll do it for the easy points, but I really don't feel like it.
Classic Ms. Attention, two shots, two dead. Mr. Taste and Mr. Inglenook should drop their shotguns, because we're fighting at a distance this time. Rifles and revolvers will work better.
Smoke is an agent's best friend, so Mr. Inglenook uses it liberally. Good thing we confiscated 10 smoke nades the other day.
Another notch on Ms. Attention's gun. One of her guns. One of OUR guns that we share between all agents. Good job at damaging X-Com equipment, Ms. Attention.
At least we've found the safehouse. It's guarded by a monk with a tiny pistol, but there's no doubt there's at least one ninja out somewhere out there.
Good girl! Heidi saved Ms. Attention some priceless time.
Time better spent sniping from across the map with a magnum, and revealing snipers and ninjas.
No time units for an aimed shot? Ms. Attention can hit just right with a snap.
Oh, look, did he come to beg for mercy? Maybe he wanted to take advantage of the fact that Ms. Attention's cylinder is empty?
If it was the latter, he really underestimated what this woman can do with a saber.
Then finally someone else got to get a kill. Mr. Taste sniped the ninja with a Nitro Express rifle. Meanwhile Mr. Inglenook discovered two more poorly armed pyjamamen.
Another one for Heidi! What a dog!
The other guy took the Nitro Express to hell. Nothing of value was recovered, and only 42 points. This wasn't a good mission for catching cultists anyway.
Two instances of monsters in USA. There was a third, but it expired. Neither van is at the base, so we have no chance in doing any of those. They really want me to lose USA.
Look, a fourth one. Go fuck yourself, X-Com.
Cyber-psycho-crackheads enter the fray. I honestly don't remember anything about the EXALT arc except there's a freaky, non-bulletproof mutant in their mansion at the end.
Come on, a guy from a new faction and all we get is a reminder only to take drugs Dr. Vahlen here gives us. At least it's relevant this time.
I think intel center was important, so let's get on it immediately.
China is dealing with monsters on their own, but it won't hurt to help them out.
Jesus Christ, how many spikeboars? I wish allies' turn was before enemy turn, so the chinese army could do some damage first before the monsters inevitably tear them to shreds. We literally can't win this one, so let's take the massive penalty for letting everyone die.
Not as bad as I expected, but it still stacks with four skipped monster missions. That gives me an idea...
He he, yeah buoi! Ainsley Harriott HQ in Jamiaca. While Guy Fieri HQ specializes in fighting yeti, this one is for chupacabras. I just hope it's not too late.
It's all those chemicals in water, I tell you. It unlocked mutant physiology, which is important, but I wanna know about EXALT network.
Biolab is done, so five more scientists can work now. Let's put them in random guns to see what they are worth.
Literally what it says here - more accurate aimed shots, just a little heavier. The scientist had great fun playing with this gun, but now let's bore him to death with researching trauma packs.
Chupacabras in Africa, and suspiciously few of them. I bet they're hiding in caves, waiting for us to make a mistake.
Shotgunned one, sniped one, but Mr. Byrd Jr. Jr. was the real hero here. He got an overwatch shot at a chupacabra running straight at the agents and killed it before it got too close.
Never underestimate the value of reaction fire when dealing with chupacabras. Mr. Hostess would have been dead if not those time units.
Looking around is also crucial. I've already positioned most of the agents, but there was a chupacabra sneaking from behind. Mr. Hostess to the rescue!
Then Mr. Silly got the last one. That's what chupacabra mission should look like, even though we've lost two civilians.
Then I sent Flaveor Delivery truck to South America, because Ainsley Harriott HQ isn't ready yet. They can't make it on time, but a man can dream.
A small, crppy carbine. Slightly stronger than UZI, but can't spit six bullets in one burst. Unlike MP5 it's one-handed, but weaker and without aimed shot option. We need to research its acquisition before we can buy it, probably because it's a relatively recent gun, but I'd rather start researching a live chupacabra and a zamboni.
Our starting Colts were better than this. It's called TT-30 because they started producing it in 1930. We have state of the art magnum revolvers, why would we use pre-WWII garbage? At least we don't have to contact the producer before we can buy it in bulk. Not like I was planning to.
Oof. I also need to research its acquisition, OOF. Spikeboar corpse will be much more useful.
I wanted to assault a Black Lotus outpost in Japan, but Osirion is doing some business in Hawaii. We haven't seen those boys yet, and we haven't done a single covert mission, so maybe we can make it on time.
The Flavor Delivery truck actually managed to land in South America, but I didn't want to risk waiting any second longer. Unprepared night mission it is.
Civilians secured. Heidi sees well in the dark, so she's doing the scouting this time.
Shpiders. Mr. Taste found them before Heidi did, or rather the shpiders found Mr. Taste and... tasted him. No damage, great chance for merciless killing of arthropods.
Heh heh, looks like they did more than just taste. I didn't like Mr. Taste anyway, his name wasn't weird enough.
I completely understand why they're upset, but four unreachable missions in two days, then one unwinnable one... Fuck you, game.
We're not well equipped for this one. Spy pistols would have been nice to have here.
They are armed with BlackOps pistols and SMGs, and we're in our trunks, so there's no way we can take them head on.
Mr. Silly is trying to pull out some risky stuff, but I don't know how far that will take us.
That guy thought he would just come into the beach house and slaughter our agents, but Mr. Shoestring jumped out and tazed him, than Mr.
Byrd Jr. Jr. stole his gun. The squad's firepower increased immensely.
Mr. Silly's silly business might pay off after all, if he doesn't get hit by reaction fire, and manages to stun this dealer in one turn. He got one stun in, but that wasn't quite enough. He had just enough TUs to run to safety, though.
Mr. Hostess is a loose cannon, but he's also a damn good cop. Unfortunately he's out in the open.
Mr. Shoestring is a cannon so loose it isn't even funny. He ran up to the guy and stabbed him in the back three times. Byrd Jr. Jr. tried to fire his MK 23, but missed. What's the point of stealing a gun if you can't even kill anyone with it?
This covert drug bust turned into a regular shoot-out very quickly. Mr. Shoestring shanked a guy to get his gun, but another dealer had a clean shot at him. Mr. Byrd Jr. Jr. jumped in front of Shoestring and shot the shooter wounding him, but losing the rest of TUs. Mr. Silly was hiding behind the Osirion truck, and could easily hit with his new pistol. Now he needs to heal Shoestring. Or not, he's out of heals already.
Mr. Hostess ambushed the last Osirion goon and tazed him good.
Some nice trinkets we got here. And not one but three Osirion goons. Now that we've done a mission in Hawaii, Bill Clinton better stops cutting the funding!
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Topic: I don't want to believe - X-Com Files (Read 90939 times)