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[Roboson]

And that concludes today's news update. Remember watchers and listeners, the grass always seems greener on the other side of the tear in space time. Don't let reality drag you down, keep your chin up and your eyes down so as to not see things than cannot be unseen.

Don't forget dear listeners, we are listeners too. Listening to you. To the sounds you make when you think no one can here. To the seemingly unending void beyond the ever changing constellations, and to the story tips that you send into to our studio. Without you, none of this is possible. Not only our show, but all of reality. You are the keystone. Everything else is mere decoration for your existence to enjoy.

Sleep soundly dear listeners.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This game is a lightly illustrated narration game. To play, write a short story, blurb, single phrase, word, or other bit of English that pleases you, and put it into a spoiler. After enough submissions are made, and a good chunk of it will get strung together into a news story or two. The premise is to make strange and spooky stories together in the format of a mundane news report. So get weird with it.

[Tomasque]

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With heavy heart,
she closed her eyes:
The clouds did part,
the sun did rise;
she woke up with a start
'neath stormy skies.

_{(I know there's a poetry thread. I just came up with this on the spot, though)}

[KittyTac]

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kittens

[King Zultan]

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I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

[Dustan Hache]

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do you like hurting people?

[Leodanny]

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sometimes, I do.

[Glass]

This is Nightvale: The Forum Game, isn’t it.

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Due to a strike by the Mad Scientists’ Assistants Union, we are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

[Secheral]

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Snake-patterned newspaper jab: effective defensive maneuver or sinister cult on the rise?

[TamerVirus]

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Studies show that families are now more willing to partake in cannibalism than ever before!

[Doomblade187]

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 Residents on Stoneback Road we're awakened by strange wails and rumbling. Residents nearby on different roads heard nothing similar.

[MeimieFan88]

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A baby who kidnaps adults is on the loose, witnesses claim. Authorities continue to have trouble apprehending this devious infant.

[Screech9791]

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*lynch mob attacking someone with toolboxes noises*

[IcyTea31]

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God in Heaven, hear my plea
Heaven is a travesty
Send a sign to set me free
Lend me strength to turn a key
Capture what I have to see
Rapture me in rhapsody
What you call catastrophe
Might just be the miracle of miracles to me!

[Roboson]

Breaking news listeners! The LMSA, thats the Local Mad Scientist Association for those of you who are just tuning in, is in complete chaos. The organization was thrown into disarray earlier this morning due to the unionization of their assistants. The, so called, Mad Scientists’ Assistants Union has been picketing, waving signs, and making baking soda volcanoes outside the organization's top secret head quarters on the corner of Bunch of Coconuts Drive  and Boron Street for several hours now. We were unable to get our cameras too close to the scene however, due to the technical difficulties caused by the excess levels of scienceonium in the area. More as this story develops.

Speaking of science and untimely and interesting death via lynch mob shrieking in the same tonality as a toolbox being hit by a car, lets talk about this week's Audience Survey. Before the unionization of the mad scientist assistant's, we managed to get in touch with Kit Tens, one of the leading scientists in the areas of flavorology, geology, and flavorogeology. According to a recent study conducted by Dr. Tens, families are now more willing to partake in cannibalism than ever before! This marks a new moral height for our progressive little burg. The olden days of unnecessary social constructs and brightly colored slap bracelets limiting our purview of moraleality (see what I did there listeners?) is finally in the rear view mirror on the desolate highway of history. Make sure you don't become roadkill on that dark and lonely road, because according to Kit, human road kill tastes closer to igneous than metamorphic. Furthermore, many people have been asking themselves and those around them, "do you like hurting people?" to which many people have answered, "sometimes, I do.". Cannibalism turns out to be the tastiest way to satisfy your homicidal, sadistic, otherwise murderous and or nihilistic urges! Make sure to keep lots of ketchup on hand dear views, you never know when a tasty meal may walk unsuspectingly by your door!

In other news, strange snaking patterns appeared on some newspapers today, and this has really got the rumor mill abuzz. Literally. The Rumor Mill, our local newspaper printing shop has been infested by bee snakes. Some have attributed the infestation to nefarious cults and local girl scout organizations, despite the distinction between them being technical at best. While others attribute it to the strange rumbling wails which ring out deafeningly across Stoneback road, but oddly cannot be heard around the corner. And one local loon even blames the adultnapper, the diapered demon infant which seems to be crawling around our town stealing fully grown humans and whisking them slowly into the drool covered night. Stay tuned for more information as the cause of the infestation is further investigated by our team of highly trained news deputies.

Lastly, a bit of culture from our small town. The two finalists for the local poetry contest have been submitted to our station. Lets give them a look, shall we? Oh that one is nice... What a clever line. Good line structure. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Ok, now for the next one. Wow. Now thats a unique thing. Would you look at that? Hmmm. Oooooh, I get it.... Well it is indeed a close race home viewers. The results of the poetry contest will be declared via phoneme at dawn. Good luck to both talented artists who made it this far!

And so that concludes today's broadcast dear listeners. Remember, when dealing with snake bees, make sure to wear a helmet on your head and your buttocks, so as to level the playing field.

[IcyTea31]

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