Sorry, but I need to delay the update a bit further. It should be ready tomorrow.
*On second thought, I can update today.
Turn 33"Harold... the foul priest... HAAAAAAROLD!"
Enraged, tear apart the land while tracking down the priest. Strike down anything that stands in my way with my preternatural strength.
2+1 for knowing where Harold is.You become a colossal spectre and begin marching across the land like something out of a fevered nightmare. The mountains crack and break under your grip, but it does take time to find Harold. You finally spot him in a massive battle after a tiring intercontinental path of destruction.
Gather the cult and set off to the next town,
6You've lost some of your follower, due to their fanaticism leading them into isolated quests. You gather what you do have and take them over to the Other Village. Some villagers at the entrance wave at you and then go back to trying to debating a proper name for this place.
party harder we destroyed a evil castle and Knight became a prince or something we must celebrate.
5It's an awesome party. Your dancing is so impressive that the creatures from the Peaceful Glade show up and join the celebrations. The display of innocent joy in such a time of crisis also pleases a divine being. This may help you later.
(Initiative:Fafnir, Sir Hektur, Matteo, Adam, Scrin, Harold, Nod, Fallacy-ATHATH, Aaron, FDI, Bedlam, Vaarsuvius, Grail, Erik, Painkiller.)
Drink the holy milk which I have earned myself, achieving power that only a bath in the world-tree's mother-milk could grant. Then, turn back the doom-mug, and make it plummet into some other world, far from here.
6, Auto-6.Faster than a laser bullet, escape Pail Dimension and drink some Holy Milk.
Bike: Shoot the front wheel like a boomerang at False-ATHTATH.
(Drink Milk)
Would be 4, but Harold destroyed the puddle.(Bike vs ATHATH)
4 vs 3-1((Okay, so I go on a quest for the holy milk for 30 turns, during which all of my teammates abandon me to do anything else. But once the legendary milk appears, suddenly everyone cares and wants to steal it.))
Pray. Recover my milk and become the True Holy Grail.
4, 3+1Meanwhile, somewhere up in heaven, a great burning eye opens... and the attached body decides that it is not ready to be done yet.
Inform the host of Heaven of the great battle below us, rally its armies, and return with holy warriors to reclaim the mill of the grail!
[And presumably, my status as a god will give me some decent amount of authority over the angels...]
(Summon)
5(Reclaim Milk)
6"All of this fighting has been caused by this milk, it must have been created by the devil himself, and so I must destroy it."
Quickly make the bottle of water in to holy water and throw it in to the milk, if I can't make the holy water run forward and destroy the milk using the first method that comes to mind.
5Get to final battle to smash evil together with bodybuilding cult, I encountered earlier
(I asked for clarification on which evils Hektur would like to smash. He said all of them, starting with the closest. I figured that meant everybody, until something killed him and his followers.)
(Sir Hektur vs Scrin)
4 vs 3(Sir Hektur vs Grail)
6 vs 5(Sir Hektur vs FDI)
1 vs 4(Sir Hektur vs Fafnir)
5-1 vs Auto-6(Cultists vs Painkiller)
4 vs 5-1(Cultists vs FDI)
4 vs 5(Cultists vs Harold)
3 vs 4+1Cast Invisibility on myself, teleport to the Holy milk, and teleport away with the Holy milk.
Yes. Yes it is.
3A wild grin on her face, Florence marveled at her army of Frankenanimals as they trudged their way toward several combatants who are already fighting. Just as she was about to pick out a target, she saw a flood of a whitish liquid pouring toward them. She was about to inquire about what it could be when the wind picked up and blew the sweet smell of milk into her face. There seemed to be power in that smell; however, and Florence deducted that this was no ordinary milk. Licking her lips thirstily, and some may say lustfully, Florence:
Used her army to push her way toward the wondrous white nectar. Once there, she drank as much of the lovely liquid as she can. Once sated, she charged her Frankenstein-esque army back into the ranks of the enemy and carved a swath of carnage through them, using her darkness-enhanced bonesaw to devastating effect.
"MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
6(See what happens with other attacks and init before rolling combat checks.)
"Alright men, we have moved into a different battle for different milk, but none the less we must get milk for Kane! Protect me while I gather the milk!"
Order the Nod horde to focus on getting me to the holy milk. After I'm at the milk I will try to gather as much as I can and rush back to Kane with the milk.
1Now THIS is a place worth pillaging! KILL EVERYTHING, INDISCRIMATELY! Oh, and somebody send a pigeon or a raven or a magic message from Ragnarok back to all our Viking allies, I'm sure they want to get in on all of this, too.
(Summon Allies)
3(Random targets to kill everything.)
(Erik vs Scrin)
3 vs 4-1(Erik vs Harold)
6 vs 3+1(Erik vs Bedlam)
3 vs 1(Erik vs Aaron)
6 vs 3(Erik vs some bears)(Originally they were the zombie bears, but Matteos got out. Still, it didn't matter so I had you fight bears anyway.)
2 vs 2(Erik vs FDI)
5 vs 1(Erik vs The Arm)
3 vs 5(Erik vs Nod)
2-1 vs 6(Vikings vs FDI)
4 vs 5-1(Vikings vs The Arm)
2 vs 5(Vikings vs Aaron)
4-1 vs 4-1(Vikings vs Adam)
4-1 vs 5(I really didn't expect the Viking Charge to last that long. Good rolls, Madman!)
"Ahem. I, ATHATH, have come! Do you really think that this war will stop me? This world will bow before me as I seize the true ultimate power I seek! Never again shall you banish me or slay me or render me null or void! I summon your doom! I summon your DEATH! I invoke the seventh Law of Augerethas! The fourth law of Slaughiemas! Come! Come... come..."
This is the endgame. Call upon my powers as a Mug Demon to summon the Mugonomicon. Use the secret lore within to summon the second level of DOOM MUG: the DEMISE MUG. While everyone's distracted by the DEMISE MUG, find Luck and kill it.
2+1SHRUG BEMUSEDLY AS THOSE WEIRDOS PASS ME, FOLLOWING UP WITH A BIT OF A CACKLE
THEN, IT IS TIME TO JUMP ON THE METAGAMING BANDWAGON (AS WELL AS MY MORE LITERAL WAGON), SPEED TO THE SITE OF THE ONGOING CLIMATIC BATTLE AND SWIPE AT LEAST ENOUGH OF THE HOLY MILK TO POWER THE DORMANT MONSTER IN MY LAB IN ORDER FOR HIM TO AVERT THE IMPENDING APOCALYPSE - OR AT LEAST SHIELD MY BEARS AND I FROM IT
5+1, 2+2, Auto-4.Beat the everloving shit out of Fafnir and ATHATH, by the way, as I said, Heaven and Hell decided to charge the Earth. Neither would hit Nephilim as he works for both, however, Heaven would slam ATHATH and Hell would rush Fafnir.
(I'm not sure where you said they would. You had to roll to summon Heaven and Hell. You got a 5 though, so it worked out.)
(Adam vs Fafnir)
5+1 vs Auto-6(Adam vs ATHATH)
6 vs 1(Summon)
5(Heaven vs ATHATH)
3 vs 3-1(Hell vs Fafnir)
2 vs Auto-6(Scrin vs FDI)
6-1 vs 3(FDI vs Scrin)
5-1 vs 1(Cow)
4The Unholy Pail has fallen. The first to react is Fafnír. Fafnir lands by the ruins of his foe and is first to drink from the Holy Milk. He drinks a bit too greedily, and inherits unstable powers. Fafnir stumbles back, overwhelmed with might. He looks up through the crackling haze of unlimited potential. The Omega Doom Mug Wreckage is above him. With a gesture, Fafnir tosses it off course. The Moon turns around after a moment of contemplating the stars to see the object hurtling towards it.
"Not cool. Not cool at all", it mumbles with resignation. The Doom Mug impacts on the surface and its destructive might is unleashed upon the unfortunate satellite. The Moon is killed instantly by the impact, and whatever's left is drowned under a flood of milk that submerges the entire Moon. In the sky, the Moon is soon a pure white orb as the ribbons of shorn flesh float away into the void.
Sir Hektur then charges into battle at the head of his calisthenic cultists in the hopes of destroying all the "evil" foes across the field. Hektur does a quadruple forward flip through the Pail Dimension portal, grabs the Grail, and uses it to bludgeon his way through Scrin fighters. The aliens pull back to regroup. Hektur then drops the Grail when an FDI crossbow bolt catches him in the hand. Hektur then tries to stab Fafnir through the back. Fafnir's unstable powers make this virtually impossible for him. Fafnir becomes vaguely aware of Hektur and annihilates both him and a swathe of both land and unfortunate nameless warriors behind him. The cultists try to avenge him, but get slaughtered by a brief alliance of Painkiller, Harold, and the FDI.
Matteo rolls right through the war in his clockwork wagon. Before anyone can stop him, he scoops up a sample of Holy Milk and gets out again. With this, he brings his human flesh golem to life. It rises from the operating table and looks around. It becomes aware of the ongoing catastrophe and warps the land around Matteo's lair into a protected pocket plane.
"Hello, Father. The world may be ending. Do you really wish me to save it, or just keep us alive? I hope this is not disrespectful, but I'm not sure which someone like you would prefer."Adam returns to the active battle at the head of an army of angels and demons. Adam decides to take on both Fafnir and ATHATH at once. Fafnir's unstable power is a major difficulty, but Adam's sword allows him to parry the wild blasts that rip into the demon horde. ATHATH is not so fortunate. Adam and the angels surround him while shouting about righteous vengeance. ATHATH tries to bring down a legendary Demise Mug, but is unable to get the spell off before Heaven finally brings him down. The Mug Dimension shouts in joyous relief at his fall.
The weakened Scrin bomber fires at the FDI and scores some good hits, but the farmers retaliate with a salvaged cannon from the Juggernaut's ruin.
Harold sees the mass death going on all around him. All of this, just for some of that evil cow secretion. Of course, Harold knows just what to do in this situation. The priest dodges forward through the chaos while praying into his flask of water. At the end of the charge, Harold spikes the newly holy water into the puddle. Like the Entropy Milk so long ago, the Holy Milk fizzles and burns up. The only sample left is the portion inside the Grail.
Bedlam and William push into the battle alongside their Frankenanimal and Nod minions. Nobody specifically stops them, but getting through the battle still takes time. It takes just enough time that they only reach the Unholy Pail's corpse in time to see Harold wipe out the Milk. Similarly, Painkiller, an invisible Vaarsuvius, and a ghostly Aaron Blaze with a horde of draconic angels also arrive too late to receive any from the Unholy Pail.
The Grail considers the Holy Milk inside it, sensing the immense potential therein. The Holy Milk is within its grasp, but the enemy within keeps it just out of reach. The Grail decides there's only one way to deal with the problem. It prays for help and the prayer is answered. It receives just enough help to allow it to make that last little leap. The Grail is reunited with the Holy Milk. Grail Team's quest is completed. The True Holy Grail floats into the air, a divine halo lighting up around the ascending mug. The battle still rages all around it.
Finally, the Vikings attempt to wipe everything out after sending an invitation for reinforcements that likely won't have time to arrive. Erik wins his place in Valhalla this day. First, he fights the Scrin to a draw. He grabs Harold and smashes his face into a Pail shard. He then grabs Bedlam and does the same to her in the interests of gender equality. Then he slices at Aaron's ghost and cuts off a horn. His axe shouldn't even have been able to do that, he just makes it work through sheer force of will. He fights some random bears all over the castle ruins until earning their mutual respect. Then he breaks the FDI cannon in half over his knee. Erik then attacks The Arm, but it latched onto his throat and strangled him until Nod flame wagons could finally provide Erik with a true Viking funeral. His warriors also run into the battle, but aren't able to match Erik's rampage. FDI, The Arm, Aaron, and Adam all at once proves to be too great a battle for them.
The Cow escapes the battle by momentarily blending in with the Frankenanimal ranks.
Mug-ATHATH, The Moon, Hektur, Hektur's cultists, Erik, and the Vikings are dead. The Holy Milk has been destroyed, aside from the Holy Grail's sample.The Holy Grail and Holy Frankenstein now auto-roll 4s on everything. Fafnir gets auto-6s.The Cow is safe, if anyone was worried about that.
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Topic: Minimalism and Milk 2 (Read 161992 times)