Turn 18Kick a hound into the path of the other hound.
3+1 vs 1(Lord Saxon vs you)
6-1 vs 2+1The hounds rush up the stairs at you, bounding and slavering. Unlike living dogs, they make no noise as they attack. One of the hounds pulls ahead and leaps at you. You catch it in the jaw with your boot. The dogs crash together and tumble down the stairs. Lord Saxon shouts in fury at the sight of his injured pets and turns into mist. He flies up to you on the balcony. You barely manage to parry his blows with your own sword as he repeatedly phases in and out of physical form to attack from multiple directions.
Enter the catacombs, have my holy sword ready for any enemies that could be inside and be vigilant and search for traps.
1You walk into the cavern with your sword at the ready. It shines brightly in the light with the promise of more dead cultists. However, you won't be able to deliver on that promise right now. A powerful magnet concealed in a wall slit snatches your sword from your grasp and pulls it against the wall. The impact triggers a rotating section, which deposits your sword into a chute. You get one last glimpse of the hilt before it's gone. The Arm climbs up your back to pat your shoulder in sympathy.
Follow the shooting star, maybe if I wish hard enough it shall guide me, BARON VON BARON to more booze or milk
6When you wish upon a star...You decide to follow the star in hopes of a reward. Eventually, you come to a little house on the outer edge of Moorsburg. An alchemist is working inside, but her back is turned. A bottle of what is probably milk sits unattended on her windowsill.
(Sorry I missed last turn.)
I got what I came for. Wash up back in town and afterwards, start the experimenting with spider fluids.
5You get home and recover from the hunt. After that, you start working with the spoils. You put most of the fluids in a alchemically cooled icebox. You do make sure to leave an open bottle of spider milk on the window. You're not sure what the benefits of room-temperature and bug-filled spider milk are, but fortune favors the bold. Once that's done, you run various experiments on the rest of your materials. You currently think you could do better than average at making cloned spiders, synthetic spider venom, spider-antivenom, or web shooters from this stuff. Of course, any or all of these could good go wrong in horrible yet groundbreaking ways.
>Continue firing my charge rifle at the Readability Swat.
(For anyone wondering why I didn't bother making this post hard to read, it's because I'm tired after updating my RTD I've started hosting for fun.)
6-2 vs 4You almost manage to gun them all down with your superior weaponry, but the bolt in your gut is too painful. You can keep fighting, but you should keep in mind that the SWAT
will kill you if they hit you even a bit more from this position. You faintly hear their leader shouting. "Criminal scum! Throw down the...whatever that is, and step out with your hands up!"
In any event, the giant beetle seems to have crawled into hiding for the moment.
Shrug and go find a quest.
2There still doesn't seem to be any good quests around. The only one you can find is a shopkeeper who wants 50 foxglove plants.
I'm stoppin' till' I'm a long way from that feckin' cursed shithole of a town.
Go to high ground, climb it, and see how far I am from Moorsburg. If I'm still close, then coninue walking/running away from it. I've seen what Milk-induced madness can do to people, and I'd rather be far away this time. If I do find a nice place,build a shelter from sticks and moss, then start a fire. If I'm far away from Moorsburg where I am, then build the shelter and light the fire here, I suppose it can't hurt.
6You climb up on a large hill to see how far away you are from Moorsburg. You can't spot it on any horizon, so you should at least be out of the blast zone of anything that doesn't take the entirety of the British Isles with it. You also don't see any sign of giant mugs in the sky, so that apocalypse must have been averted.
You set up camp. You get the primitive shelter set up and rest by the fire for a time. You've almost dozed off when you notice the fire rapidly spreading into the enchanted glade. A unicorn looks on with serious concern.
Send a swarm of mutant creatures to spread Tzeentch's corrupting touch to saner lands.
5Ever since your old Chaos buddies were eliminated by the shifting sands of time, the world just hasn't been quite crazy enough. That ends today. The mutants spread into the countryside, leaving corruption in their wake.
Ok.
On defense. Wait for one of these mates to make the first move; parry and counter. Make sure that counter is deadly, or at least crippling. A... crushing counterstrike, if you would.
EDIT: autocorrect turned "parry" into "party"...
3, 6 vs 2, fighting Anti-Aaron.Gold. That grail is made of gold.
Gold equals riches, riches equals greed, greed equals sin. Onyx gems are black, black equals darkness and darkness equals evil.
Loudly announce that that grail is a fake and evil servant of the devil himself (to get a holy bonus against it) and smite it with the power of God!
2, 6 vs 4Shoot at the Anti-Grail.
Dodge any attacks coming at me.
6 vs 3Well... that was unexpected.
Really, I think it was totally expected, he tried to make an evil clone of something that is already 50% evil. Also, to the ATHATH thing, of you can hear, me, I wouldn't take offense to that, except you're ATHATH, I kind of take offense to you on principle.
You say that evil will prevail
And they shall be the ones to get the pail
But see how your powers fail
And I beleive I know the ending of this tale
So once your forces are done and fought
And the path before us with troubles is fraught
I will know with who's side I am not
So I put my powers with hero's lot.
Attack the evil Anna with my blade.
5 vs 4(Adventurers vs Anti-Adventurers)
3 vs 6(Cow vs Brahmin)
4 vs 4The fight is on. The Aarons clash in a unbridled storm of obscene stats. Ultimately, the heroic Aaron gets an edge and catches his opponent with a crushing pommel to the jaw. The Grail tries to denounce the Anti-Grail, but it laughs off his grandiose words. It isn't laughing much longer after it cracks under a storm of bullets from Anna and is annihilated by the true Grail's holy light. Adam dodges around Anti-Anna's explosive punches while reciting a quick poem. He then flicks one of his swords out upon sighting a gap in her defenses. Anti-Anna gets a another small scar on her forehead to match Benny's old bullet wound. On the other side, evil gets the advantage when the adventuring parties battle. The superior training and gear of the Caesar's Legion version seems to give a crucial edge.
Meanwhile, the cow and the
brahmin stare blankly at each other for a moment and then just decide to scrounge for grass together.
Author
Topic: Minimalism and Milk 2 (Read 162217 times)