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[Glass]

Shoot through the door with my charge rifle, with the bullets penetrating the not-so-bulletproof door and into the Readability SWAT

Why don't you just bold your posts?

Because they’re trying to be annoying.
In other words, specifically to do literally anything other than bolding their posts.

[spazyak]

Shoot through the door with my charge rifle, with the bullets penetrating the not-so-bulletproof door and into the Readability SWAT

Why don't you just bold your posts?

Because he is fighting the Readability Swat

[Yoink]

LEAD THE BEARS TO MY LAIR AND TIE THEM UP THERE
PROMISE TO BRING THEM FOOD SHORTLY

[Enemy post]

Turn 16

Roll towards the entry and cast a sunlight spell to use as a light source. Continue onwards, being wary of traps.

Light:5, Explore:6

Procede inwards, I presume. Don’t get trapped.

5

Prepare my Automatic Rifle.
Go inwards and look out for the traps.

4

The party gets ready and explores deeper into the Cave. Soon they come to a fork in the road. Three halls lead to three chambers. A carved slab explains further:"This is where you must be refined, like metal in a forge. Three possible confrontations lie before you. You must challenge either your unchangeable past, your possible future, or risk a confrontation with the fabric of the universe itself. Choose wisely, and choose only one."

Check the purity of the milk to see how useful it will be.

6

It seems a little too pure, actually. Anything you make with this will have a good chance of spiraling out of hand. But isn't that the best part of being a wizard?

the sword is in the throne of the dark lord. So search for the room at the top of the tower.

4

You find the throne room, entering through a shadowed balcony. The whole room is a dreary affair, lit by torches. An ancient human figure is stooped on the throne. The King's sword is lodged in one of the arms, buried up to the hilt. The figure wears black robes with a pointed silver crown on his head. He holds a common-looking cup of an ominous red liquid in one hand. A pair of undead hounds sit by either side of him.

Wait for the guard to leave and try and get into that tavern and th e precious booze inside. NONE SHALL DENY BARON BARON VON BARON HIS DRINK!

5

The guard leaves shortly. You then walk up to the door, kick it in, and enter without breaking stride. The bar is open to you. You happily prepare your first chosen drink yourself in the absence of a bartender.

Attempt to forge a tower out of the Schizo-Land™ itself, stabilized just enough to be a suitable hub for my Wizardly Duties.

4+1

An enormous tumor of grass and earth rises from the ground in front of you. The land sloughs away to reveal a giant egg, which hatches into a larger dragon. The dragon glances around and immediately lunges at you with flames flickering from its nostrils. Before it can reach you, a tree begins to sprout from its mouth. The dragon rears back and turns to stone as the tree grows. The tree becomes the size of a building on its own. When it's growth is finished, mushrooms burst from both the dragon and the tree. Both are soon scattered with the mushrooms. Pieces of the mushrooms then fall off to reveal pleasant windows with furnished rooms behind them. A door then appears over the stone dragon's heart. An endless centipede of bones then crawls out from the door and snakes down the side. It looks you in the eye and screams the word "ABIOGENESIS". Its body shrivels and folds into working stairs. The head falls off and crawls away with its tongues.

Success!

Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!
_{It's difficult to keep up the accent while yelling...}

"Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."
Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.

6 Distracted by linking spell.

_{FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!}
Light a match, to show I mean business.

Link the two ATHATHs and the doom mug, so that neither ATHATH can use their powers unless they are in physical contact with each other, and that the doom mug can not move unless they are touching. This also negates them from using their powers to get to each other, or to dispel my effect.

(Adam vs New ATHATH:6 vs 5, Adam vs ATHATH Classic:3 vs 3, Adam vs Mug:5)

Old ATHATH goes quiet for a moment as New ATHATH tries to steal the time machine plans first. Cormac threatens the plans with a lighter to try and intimidate the other ATHATH, unsuccessfully. It's then that Adam makes his move. Adam tries merging together everything in the ATHATH-verse. Only Old ATHATH successfully resists. In orbit, the Doom Mug vanishes. On Earth, New ATHATH vanishes. On the edge of the atmosphere, the two are fused together. Neither fully demon nor mug, New ATHATH is fused with his Mug. He's a hybrid demon-mug thing now with the powers of both. Minus dropping himself on the world, that's not really viable at only 12 feet tall.

Kill the nonbelievers and their milk based demon with my holy sword.

1+1 vs 5
(Arm vs Cultists)5 vs 5

You charge the cultists with noble intent but inferior numbers. You quickly find yourself surrounded. All hope seems lost, but then the same severed arm that aided you earlier jumps in. It grabs a cultist by the head before getting shaken off.

(Thank you for the compliment ^^)

Reap the spoils of my fight. By which I mean collect spider fluids - venom, blood and (of course) milk.

5

You kneel down and get out your butcher's knife. These spiders are rich in suitable ingredients, and you fill some bottles with your prizes. Above the others, you even claim two bottles of spider's milk.

YOU WIN THE GAME!

You're covered in mud, cobwebs, and spider blood. You also came dangerously close to getting your insides melted and eaten at times, but you got what you came for. You still have trouble understanding why your friends never want to come on these trips. What do you do next?

>Shoot th[font

=times new ro[/g

low]man]rough the

door w[/font]ith my c[/font]harge rif le, with the bullets

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

penetrating the not-so-bulletproof doo[color=maroo[/center]n]r [/size]and into

the[/color] Readability SWAT[/sup]

2-1 vs 2
(Readability SWAT)
4

You turn away from the giant beetle and shoot at the door. Your wounds make aiming a bit difficult and the bullets go wide. The "Readability SWAT" kick in the door and ready crossbows.

LEAD THE BEARS TO MY LAIR AND TIE THEM UP THERE
PROMISE TO BRING THEM FOOD SHORTLY

1

You get the bears to your lair and leave for a bit to gather food. You soon hear an explosion and rush back to find a disaster site. From the crater and scattered porcelain, it seems a giant mug (not a DOOM MUG) impacted the bears and crushed them.

[ATHATH]

Wait, I thought that I was ATHATH Classic.

Who's been attached to the Doom Mug, then?

[Enemy post]

Wait, I thought that I was ATHATH Classic.

Who's been attached to the Doom Mug, then?

You are. FallacyofUrist is merged with it.

[Imic]

Walk away from Moorsburg. Run if need be.

[ATHATH]

"Why thank you! I think they'll prove very useful..."

Yell to ATHATH:
WHAT DO YOU WANT?! IF YOU WANT THE TIME MACHINE BLUEPRINTS, YOU CAN TAKE THE, AND DO WITH THEM WHAT YOU WILL!

Take the blueprints. Cast a spell of assembly to create the time machine.

_{FUCK YOU! THERE'S AN ATHATH IN FRONT OF ME, AND AN ATHATH FAR AWAY, AND YOU ARE NOT THE ONE CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET THESE BLUEPRINTS! IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR THESE, I'L BURN THEM MYSELF!}
Light a match, to show I mean business.

"I just want the blueprints and any existing time machines destroyed- I don't want to be wiped from the timestream again."

"You don't know how to make a time machine, do you? Don't worry, if you do, I'll just remove the knowledge of how to build it from your head instead of killing you."

Destroy the blueprints if I am given permission to.

What? Being a physical incarnation of evil and destruction doesn't mean that I can't approach things diplomatically.

[Imic]

Drop the blueprints on the ground.
I have no intention to do any such thing, I only wish to live a life. Take them, and do with them whatever you will.
Leave.

[ziizo]

walk into the room sword ready to defend myself "Let me guess you are evil and I will have to fight you?"

[randomgenericusername]

Challenge the Past.

[Glass]

To the past! Honestly, I enjoyed my past. And besides, given its unchangeability, and the fact that we're all alive right now, it means that we physically cannot die while we're there.

[King Zultan]

Stab the cultists in the guts with my holy sword, also try and get the arm a weapon.

[randomgenericusername]

To the past! Honestly, I enjoyed my past. And besides, given its unchangeability, and the fact that we're all alive right now, it means that we physically cannot die while we're there.

I think everyone has to pick their own path, as there is only 3 hallways, one for each. I think you probably have to pick the fabric of the universe as you are the only god here.

[Smoke Mirrors]

Head on down to the cave to meat back up with my team.

Hey guys, what did I miss while I was stopping the apocalypse?