Hello again. I forgot to mention a couple curious things about Omrist and his horde of Hell Criers. They may become relevent, as they represent outstanding mysteries that still surround the fiend.
First, they have been at war with a kobold 'civilization' for sixty-six years. How? The Hell of Crying destroyed a warwolf nation in seven years. In seven years of that war and the sixty-six years fighting the kobolds, Omrist has never lost a battle, nor lost a single soldier. He has also...not killed a single kobold? Well, obviously he hasn't killed any, he's only killed a young pandashi FOR REASONS THAT WILL FOREVER HAUNT ME. What I mean is that in a series of nine battles through which they claimed three enemy sites, the goblin hordes have killed zero kobolds. Brah, do you even demon?
Second, though historical records show no sign of Omrist ever engaging in any kind of non-panda combat, he's nonetheless picked up some impressive skills. When? Did he just slap Neba that hard?
Okay, this guy puzzles me, something isn't clicking. Let's move along. There is another strong goblin nation in the same area of the world. The large nightmare hosts 3,000 greenskins to The Hell of Crying's 5,000.
The Large Nightmare: The Hell of Crying:
Let's take a look at their leader.
A cavy demon. Huh. Well, at least it seems appropriately demonic in its behavior. It's waged a solid century of war with three different civs, there have been terrible losses on all sides, but she is almost always victorious. This is apparently what she was charged to do by her corporeal sponsor, Torish.
That's odd. Inferno went to war with the very civilization that reveres their benefactor.
And that's when it clicks. Omrist and his long, bloodless war. Why has he not crushed The Mirthful Spicy Blight after sixty-six years, given that he could wipe them off the map any time he wanted? That's not what he wants. That's not what he's FOR. The Remarkable Yell charged him to create the need for grand fortresses and to test them. At first he seems distracted, and goes after the local warwolves. I wasn't sure why. Were they just in the way? Was it a means to test and refine his troops? As it turns out, they were just clashing with his depravity.
So, after this, he gives The Mirthful Spicy Blight twenty-three years of peace. Then he leads his vast army and takes three of the kobold's four settlements. Then he leaves them alone for six years, as they recover, train, and prepare their defenses. He assaults, and this dance repeats for sixty-six years. He's forced The Reckless Yell's chosen people into one great camp and continues to try them and spur them on to greater heights. And the whole time, no goblin or kobold soldiers are lost. He never raises a hand.
I'm onto something here. I'm close.
What about his combat skills? Where did he learn to fight? All I can say with any degree of surety is that it wasn't in this world.
Is...is Omrist Grizzlyterror a good guy? Hear me out.
I don't know what he had to do to get to the top of the underworld heap, earning his shot to ascend to the material plane. We can only guess that it involved plenty of combat and a lot of observing. So he wins, and rides his hellish wonkavator to the Garden of Gaia. To stay here he must accept a pact with a local god. He sets to it with determination and skill, but also with an absolute minimum of blood shed. Did you notice that he's an expert pacifier? He's tired of war. I wondered why his kingdom was so populous. Is it because he has worked to keep them safe even as they indulge their penchant for plunder? Has he cared for them, shepherded them, channeled their violence toward the goal that keeps him here?
I don't know, but here's what I think. Omrist has retired. He's tired and over the whole thing. He even named his new kingdom 'The Hell of Crying.' He finally claws his bloody way from hell to here, and what is the first thing that happens? A kobold goddess requires that he carry on warring or face...what? I wonder what happens if a bound demon dies. Does he return to the underworld to await the next worldgen? Does he end? I wonder which Omrist would prefer. He almost seems to be doing the bare minimum to honor his pact. Is he lazy? Noble? Simply insufficiently evil? I think at the very least, he's a bit more Miltonian, a touch more tragic than your average fiend.
Okay, one last goblin civ. The Dreamy Thief (lolwut). This, the smallest goblin nation with a bare 1400 citizens, breaks the trend by NOT having a demonic ruler. Though they did at first.
"She was a gecko monster. He was one of the only ones of his kind." Sounds like a tagline to a possibly watchable Ben Afleck rom-com. Then I notice that (S)he is associated with lust, trickery and lies. Oho. I see what you did there RNG. Then he, which is to say She, was killed by a bronze colossus. So being bound permanently to this world is not the same as becoming immortal. All She was charged with was to lie. Did he not do that? She IS the god of lies. Was, rather.
Then something historic happened. In the year 5, a goblin was crowned queen of a goblin nation. For five minutes (may not have actually been five minutes).
She is promptly replaced by 'a insatiable greed.' Wow. This is amazing. Picture it.
: "The King is dead! Long live the king!"
[An ABSTRACT CONCEPT enters stage right, slaying BAX through unclear means.]
: "M-M-MONSTER KILL! I am your new queen. Any questions?"
: "Ah gots one! Are you, like, a thing, or what?"
: "That was rhetorical."
: "Seriously, though. What do you look like? I'mma have a tuff time 'graving you on ANYTHING."
Welp, that's it for now. Tune in next time when I fixate on something inane and analyze it into complete nonsense. I may be giving the pandashi a day in the spotlight next time, though I haven't decided. Something tells me it won't solve the murder of Neba.