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[HotDiggityDog]

So I met this girl a while back. Insanely beautiful, smart, and we share all the same interests in common. Very cliche and everyone with a crush says this, I know, but it was true and one of the first real connections I've felt with a girl.

Fast forward, I find out she has her old high-school crush back in her life and she's fawning over him. He's going to come down for a visit and they're going to see where things go. Now I'm devastated, but try to move on. After all, she's just taken. She's not single, that's fine, I was too late. I tell her about my feelings just so that I can move on, and she says she's proud that I was courageous enough to tell her, even if she doesn't reciprocate them.

Fast forward further, it doesn't work out because he's a giant conservative and she's very liberal like me. I flat-out mention my feelings for her again, on a whim, and she tells me that the only reason why she won't date me is that she's "emotionally unavailable," doesn't find me attractive, and that my financial situation isn't the best.

The third one I can live with, since I can change that. The first one, I have no idea what that means. The second one though stings an insane amount. To click with someone's personality that much but to have them not like your face? It burns. And it's been two years since I met her, at this point I'm doubting if it's even a crush I still have on her or if it's unrequited love. What the hell am I supposed to do in a situation like this? I want to move on but I don't want her out of my life, and the constant flirtation she gets from every single guy while I'm around her just makes my heart ache even more.

[Zydramir]

Move on friend. It sucks to think about and it's gonna hurt like a mother for a while, but if she's flat out saying these two hurtful things and being emotionally unavailable due to them, your romantic energy is best spent elsewhere.

Think about it this way. If she felt that connection the same way you think you do, would she care all that much about your face or would she think you're as beautiful as you find her?  If she felt the same way, your financial situation wouldn't be a wall, it'd be a mutual challenge.

Let it go. There will be other beautiful girls you connect with. Don't beat yourself up over one who can't see through what really matters.

[ChairmanPoo]

only reason why she won't date me is that she's "emotionally unavailable," doesn't find me attractive, and that my financial situation isn't the best.

I'm sorry to say that this reply is clear as water. Dont waste yoir time

[NRDL]

Cut your losses and run. Fall in love with somebody who reciprocates. I'm honestly impressed that she was able to just out and out say the exact reasons for her lack of attraction. Use it to take care of any lingering hopes that may remain.

Don't take it personally, and especially avoid obsessing over this.

[nenjin]

She's said she's not in to you with as many excuses as a girl can give. You're just going to have to accept that, and not it let it wreck you.

As someone who has been crushed on and had to tell them no, you have my condolensces. But take a moment to ask yourself....why were you crushing on her? Was it just her looks? That might help you find some closure if you think about the real reasons you're infatuated with someone. For me, I know it usually took the form of this one sided romance fantasy I had in my head that had no basis in reality, some idyllic relationship that was more about my wants than the actual person I was interested in. When I woke up to that, it deflated my crush pretty quickly.

edit

Consider the fall of the creator of Rick and Morty. While this was sexual harassment and not a real friendship as you're describing, consider the narrative going on in that guy's head around this woman. How he obsessed over her and imagined them as a couple, to the point he was paying more attention to his obsession than the reality around him. Love can be blind and not always in the uplifting and accepting way.

[inteuniso]

I'm currently crushing on a girl. Similar situation. Insanely intelligent, focused, she gardens and knows blue belt jiu-jitsu and she's kind and sweet and really just a great person to hang out with, intimate or not.

I've come to terms with the fact that she might not like me. I haven't told her anything about how I feel, and if I do she might tell me that she doesn't feel the same way. If we're no longer friends, that sucks, but you know what? I love her, and I want her to be happy. If she's not happy with me, then she needs to go away from me.

You need to move on. Even if there had been a chance, it sounds like she still had feelings after being rejected and you turned up at the wrong time. Also, financial stability is attractive. Make a $25 environmental scanner and a $60 3D printer, learn how to model and start making things. Garden, grow crops, flowers, herbs, make tinctures, become an apothecary. Draw, sculpt, become an artist. Perform hard manual labor. Sell the plasma out of your blood. There's a million ways to hustle, and no one is more attractive than a hustler.

[bloop_bleep]

I've come to terms with the fact that she might not like me.

"Might"? Did you actually tell her? If you didn't, you should, you might be surprised.

[inteuniso]

I've come to terms with the fact that she might not like me.

"Might"? Did you actually tell her? If you didn't, you should, you might be surprised.

I would rather let (if it's there) sexual tension build before it's resolve in sparring between us.

EDIT: Also, I don't mind waiting. Literally every crush before her I've pushed away by going too quickly, too uncomfortable for either them or me. I would much rather wait and let it happen when we're both ready, or worst comes to worst she starts dating somebody else and we're still friends and I just bury those feelings and move on. I'm not afraid of being hurt; I live in chronic pain daily, I am constantly evaluating the quality of pain, much as anyone else does. I have built my tolerances. I will not hurt anyone else unnecessarily though. Not willingly.

[Shazbot]

They are not the 'only reason'. They are the reasons. The things she's not interested in you for break down as follows.

1. Not emotionally available. She's still having feels, positive or negative, for this other guy. They have to diminish over time.
2. Not attracted. It clicks or it doesn't.  She was clicking with a political opposite, who I'll presume, was a more aggressive or assertive sort.
3. Not financially sound. For a youthful relationship, money shouldn't be an object. She's either thinking longer-term in her life, or she's got expensive tastes.

Men presume we need only be told what is broken and fix these things following the advice of our fellow male experts. We can't. These are multi-year self-improvement projects, during which she won't patiently wait for you to become what she wants in a man, and will always remember what you are not. You need to be the sort of man that a woman wants before she lays eyes on you, or at least, a reasonable facsimile of one.

You are, by my estimation, orbiting a woman you won't land. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't keep chasing after her. It will hurt worse the longer you try the inevitable. As a demotivational meme told me last night, every corpse on Mt. Everest was once an extremely motivated person. There are things which cannot be overcome. Go back down the mountain and work on yourself.

I'll say it again. Do not try to become what this woman wants. Become what the next woman wants.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seventeen years keeping a woman happy fed and clothed speaking...

[Retropunch]

I flat-out mention my feelings for her again, on a whim, and she tells me that the only reason why she won't date me is that she's "emotionally unavailable," doesn't find me attractive, and that my financial situation isn't the best.

By Thor's mighty hammer, this is rough.

I have to agree with the rest, such a point blank refusal isn't going to turn into a yes regardless of anything you do. From brain shredding, eye melting experience, believe me when I say that if she gives any reasons why she doesn't want to date you, it's just never going to work. This is because she doesn't mean those things particularly  - it's not that she doesn't like your face or feels you don't have enough cash - it's that she just doesn't like you like in that way at all.

I'd go further - DO cut her out of your life to an extent. I don't mean sever ties, but I do mean stop meeting up etc. until you're over it. Make it clear to her why, and ask her to respect your feelings on it. Otherwise it'll never fully heal, and you'll make your life miserable at the same time.

The good news is, I can also tell you from experience that you'll find someone who makes you forget all about her - regardless of how improbable that sounds.