0/5/2/1
Kung Fu Man patiently waits in line as the rabble in front of him take their sweet time placing their orders. Some order absolutely disgusting amounts of food, while others order only mildly nauseating quantities. Unfortunately, it seems like the fat sum-bitch directly in front of you is the former.
“I’ll have 2 number 9s, a number 9 large….”Even despite your finely honed discipline, your patience wears thin
“... burn it, and let it swim.”You finally reach the counter. You are greeted by an unkempt teenage who looks like he would really like to be anywhere but here. You’re pretty sure he’s also stoned out of his mind at this very moment.
“Welcome to El Pollo Loco, how can I loco your pollo today” He says in a monotone voice and with a vacant gaze. If enthusiasm was a man, he was shot in the back of the head and buried in this fella’s back yard.
B.Buy the value Loco meal (-5 Moolah), should stave off hunger for a little while and it comes with a free toy!
“One Loco meal, to stay” (-5 Moolah)A few moments later you are handed cardboard container in the shape of a chicken head. The obnoxiously overdesigned container proudly boasts how their chicken is filled with extra growth hormone and ‘what kids crave’. The greasy chicken drumsticks and processed nuggets settle nicely in your stomach, washed down with an unspecified fruit juice mix. Toy time! You dig something out of the box…
(1)
It's an off-colored
Rubber Chicken! Yay? Squeezing and releasing it causes the cheaply made toy to emit a dreadful sound that can only be described as the tortured screams of all chicken-kind burning in hell.
You pass the time by taking the rubber chicken and making it pantomime some slick Kung Fu moves.
BAWK-CHA! WHA-DO!Then enters the Colonel. An old man, decked out in a pure white suit equipped with an equally white mustache and goatee appears in the restaurant. A number of white suited bodyguards take up positions within the joint. He notices you and hobbles over to your booth and takes the seat across from you.
“So you’re the Colonel, huh” The old man pushes up his thick rimmed glasses and smiles.
“I’m looking for-”He cuts you off.
“Kung Fu Man,I know exactly who and what you’re looking for. I can tell you exactly what you want. But one, I’m not looking for any trouble. Two, I had nothing to do with stealing your fridge or anything else of yours. Three, I back out of whatever Chef Man had in mind the second he told me it was your fridge. Now I have a proposal that could be mutual beneficial to both of us. You do me a small favor, just a little task, and I’ll do you a small favor. Another option is to work behind the counter of this El Pollo Loco.” He leans in closer and whispers
“I actually acquired majority ownership of this grease-pit a couple of months ago. Heh heh heh.” He sits back.
“You know, work the deep fry, straighten up the staff, defend against the angry bum horde. Lord knows that drooling fella manning the cash register ain’t improving the bottom line!”
“So what do you think?’
A.) “So what was this ‘small task’ you were talking about?”B.) “Work a shift at El Pollo Loco? Can’t be too hard”C.) “Maybe you’ll tell me where Chef Man is after I deep fry your spine?!?” Health: Kung Fine!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Wallet: 15 Moolah
Items: Bag of Mail - You could deliver a nasty paper cut with all those bills
Mail-truck Keys: Key's to the Kung Fu Fist Delivery Truck
Screaming Rubber Chicken: What the hell am I to do with this?
Kung Fu Special Techniques:
-Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
-Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
-Kung Fu Man's Secret Move!: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]
Author
Topic: The Saga of Kung Fu Man! Ch.1 Wooo in the hell is this...? (Read 11426 times)