2/0/1/3
D.Knock him out and drop him off somewhere. We've done enough to him.
"Your body is weak.Your bones are brittle. Your skills are pitiful. Your resolve is lacking. And your posture is dreadful."
In a low wheezing voice, the broken shell of Post Man speaks.
"....Just get it over with. I've told you what you want....No more..." He is thoroughly broken. In body and in spirit.
Kung Fu Man ponders in silence.
"No....”
“Go and reflect on your life choices. If you seek me out again, as you were, you will die by my hand. Like actually, though.""...."[(?) Post Man will remember that]
You apply a Kung Fu Grip on his jugular vein, cutting off the blood flow and reliving Post Man of his consciousness. He slumps his head down like a ragdoll. The lights are off and nobody’s home anymore. Might as well hock him somewhere random. Can’t have him stinking up the dojo, can we now? .
(4)
You cut Post Man off your alarm-gong/improv torture device and hoist him over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Good thing that the post office is right on the way to El Pollo Loco!
Taking advantage of all the free cardboard and packing material in the back of
Post Man’s mail-truck the
NEW KUNG FU FIST DELIVERY TRUCK, you mummify Post Man in packing tape and novelty stamps before cramming and sealing him in a box full of foam peanuts. You slap a big red ‘fragile’ sticker on the parcel. Surely this will ward off any future harm!
After a half hour or so of driving, you stop and huck the Post Man box into the woods. He’ll be fine. Maybe. Probably not. But at least he’s out of your way for now.
“Aw snap, I just had this joke about dead letters and returning to sender but whatever”Scene change! Kung Fu Man’s dojo-house -> El Pollo LocoA Large neon sign of a cartoon chicken watches over the parking lot with an unending eerie gaze.
*CLUCK CLUCK, EAT AT EL POLLO LOCO!* reads a faed poster on the window.
Contrary to the general decrepit and greasy run down look of the establishment, El Pollo Loco is widely considered to serve up the best chicken in the area. Good guys, bad guys, crazy guys: they all eat at El Pollo Loco, despite the below average health grade and the lingering smell of piss.
Ignoring the odd eyed bum outside rambling to himself, Kung Fu Man swaggers into fast food joint like a sheriff into a saloon. There’s a brief moment of silence before the sound of chewing returns. Your trained eyes dart left and right, scanning the room. It appears that the Colonel hasn’t arrived yet. Might as take the time to eat! Ah, the life of a hungry man.
A.You’re hungry, but you’re also cheap. Don’t buy anything and wait for the Colonel to arrive
B.Buy the value Loco meal
(-5 Moolah), should stave off hunger for a little while and it comes with a free toy!
C.Buy a three pack of the CanChicken2Go!
(-10 Moolah) One for now, and 2 for later
D.Treat yourself and splurge on their full course Buff Chicken set.
(-20 Moolah)Health: Kung Fine!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Wallet: 20 Moolah
Items: Bag of Mail - You could deliver a nasty paper cut with all those bills
Mail-truck Keys: Key's to Post Man's ride the new Kung Fu Fist Delivery Truck
Kung Fu Special Techniques:
-Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
-Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
-Kung Fu Man's Secret Move!: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]
Author
Topic: The Saga of Kung Fu Man! Ch.1 Wooo in the hell is this...? (Read 11431 times)