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[TamerVirus]

MAN OF KUNG FU: THE STORY OF KUNG FU MAN

Spoiler: What? (click to show/hide)

It's a suggestion game. Sometimes I'll be posting the suggestions. Sometime's you'll be the one suggesting the action. If I don't post a choice of suggestions, its gonna be up to the readers.
Not every turn will be one action. I might take multiple depending on the situation and how I feel.

You are awoken by the sound of your alarm-gong. It's five in the morning, the perfect time to train your kung fu. Indeed, you are KUNG FU MAN, the best master of kung fu within city limits! Your techniques are impeccable and your muscles are all natural. Like clockwork, you take out of the closet put on your immaculate White Battle Gi, tie your Black Belt around your waist, and finally wrap your trusty Blue Headband around your forehead. WA-TA! Kung Fu Man is ready for his Kung Fu day.

But something is not right. You notice a scroll pinned to your door. It reads...

Spoiler: menacing note (click to show/hide)

"Dear pesky Kung Fu Man,
We have given ourselves the privilege of 'borrowing' everything that you hold dear! We laugh at your misfortune! We dare you to try and stop us!
You suck!
-The Anti-Kung Fu Man Society
P.S. By 'borrow' we mean steal. You ain't getting your stuff back.
P.P.S. You Suck!"

The Anti-Kung Fu Man Society?!? Impossible! As you rush out into your dojo-living room it dawns on you. EVERYTHING IS GONE! THE FRIDGE! THE TV! EVERYTHING!

UNFORGIVABLE!

Decision time! Kung Fu Man has faced many adversaries before, but he can only go after one foe at a time. Which member of the Anti-Kung Fu Man Society shall we go after first?

A. Invisible Man - Bending optical light to his will, you just can't see him
B. Suave Dude - He's rich, arrogant, and suave.
C. Savage Man - All you are told is that he's the 'cream of the crop'
D. Chef Man - He's always cooking up trouble
E. Science Guy - You can't even comprehend

THE ARCHIVES

Chapter 1 - Cooking Up Trouble (vs. Chef Man)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Episode 1- Hunger and an encounter with Post Man!
Episode 2- Demonstrating Kung Fu on Post Man
Episode 3- Kung Fu Man shares his musical tastes with Post Man!
Episode 4- Going to El Pollo Loco
Episode 5- Lunch time and the Colonel
Episode 6- A small task from the Colonel
Episode 7- Another Colonel, two chickens, and a plan
Episode 8- Raid on Hamburger Fiefdom Pt. 1
Episode 9- Raid on Hamburger Fiefdom Pt. 2
Episode 10- Raid on Hamburger Fiefdom Pt. 3
Episode 11- A Handshake
Episode 12- Kitchen Inspection
Episode 13- Freezer Inspection
Episode 14- Medium Rare
Episode 15- Didn't expect this to come back, eh?
Episode 16- Meeting the Man: The Colonel

[Puppyguard]

D
We must stop his frying!

[Custom Critical]

So much PTW.

[thatroleplayerGal]

C
Creamy crops belong in nutritious breakfasts, not foul savages!

[King Zultan]

A. We need a challenge.

[NRDL]

D
We must stop his frying!

+1 He looks like a good starter opponent.

Also:

the best master of kung fu within city limits!

I feel like we're gonna be in for a rude awakening once we leave the city.

[TamerVirus]

D. Chef Man

*gurgle grumble* Your stomach lets loose a low groan. Hunger slowly creeps into the back of your mind! To the fridge! But Kung Fu Man's kitchen is barren like the desert! Only one fiend could have cooked up the idea to abscond with your precious cooking appliances and cookware: Chef Man! No breakfast! No lunch! No dinner! Your stash of bacon, tofu, tofu bacon, and bacon tofu! ALL GONE!
The most important meal of the day! RUINED!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The foundation of your dojo-house shudder under your primal yell. Chef Man will pay! The Anti-Kung Fu Man Society WILL PAY! Nobody disrupts meal time! NOBODY! GO KUNG FU MAN! FIGHT! FOR A BALANCED BREAKFAST!

New Objective: Feed Chef Man your fist. Get your fridge back!

Filled with hunger and rage, Kung Fu Man implusivly kicks the front door down, ready to take on the evils who have wronged him. As you step out onto your porch, an unfamiliar smug looking fella.

"Well, well, well! Looks like Kung Fu Man is having a bad day!"

You clench your fist and quickly scan your surroundings. An ambush, perhaps? The snickering man wears a professional looking ensemble of light blue with a white cap. You notice he's carrying a satchel bag bursting full of letters.

Is that Carl? The letter carrier? No. Something isn't quite right.

He's leaning against a running white box truck that blocks your driveway. It dawns on you. DAMMIT! THE KUNG FU MOBILE IS ALSO GONE! You point at the man, your eyes filled with rage.

"YOU! YOU ARE NOT CARL! HE WOULD NEVER BLOCK MY DRIVE WAY! NEVER!"

"Carl? That fat old fool's doin the rounds in heaven now, punk. But the good news is that I have a special delivery right here for a certain Kung. F. Man, courtesy of the Anti-Kung Fu Man Society. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will stop me...THE POST MAN!"


"How about death?"

[3] Something darts past your face. An envelope has embedded itself in your doorframe

"Heh, Just sign on the dotted line, Mr. Man."

ENCOUNTER: Post Man

Spoiler: status (click to show/hide)

Health: Kung Fine!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Items: none

Kung Fu Special Techniques:
  -Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
  -Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
  -Kung Fu Man's Secret Move!: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]

Suggestions open for this round. What will Kung Fu Man do to defeat Post Man?

[NRDL]

Start with a Palm Thrust, then go for the throat.

[Haspen]

PTW.

[King Zultan]

Start with a Palm Thrust, then go for the throat.

Go for the throat with a kung fu chop.

[TamerVirus]

A cool breeze fills the air, blowing around freshly fallen leaves. Fresh dew on the lawn glints in the morning sun. It really is a beautiful morning for martial arts violence.

"Just a second"

Kung Fu Man snaps his fingers, which somehow activates the radio in Post Man's mail-truck.

"Perfect"

"What the... Whatever!" 

Start with a Palm Thrust, then go for the throat.

[5v6]
"Your love of novelty disco music is no match for the might of the postal service!"

Post Man does a backflip onto the top of his mailtruck and poses.

"its mail time, Kung Fool!"
[1]
Post Man quickly reaches into his mail satchel, presumably throw out a barrage of paper sharp envelopes. He succeeds in giving himself a nasty papercut on the palm of his hand.

"SSSSSShit! aaAAAAaaAAAA!"

The stinging pain leaves Post Man wide open!
When Post Man looks away from his palm, he comes face to face with Kung Fu Man!

"You done?"

[3+1:hit][6][stun:yes][crit:no]

WHA-CHAAA!
You drive your palm straight into Post Man's gut. Time seems to slow down as you observe blood and spittle drifts out of the villain's mouth. You can almost pinpoint the second the Post Man's eyes glaze over as all the color drains from his body.
The uncivil servant is knocked off the mail-truck, forming a twitching heap of spilled letters and broken man.

Go for the throat with a kung fu chop.

"Its over!"

[stun:autohit][2]

Kung Fu Man jumps off the truck hoping to land a kung fu chop directly on Post Man's throat! You slightly misjudge the timing and angle and end up bitch slapping him across the face.

It doesn't really matter though, as Post Man is thoroughly unconscious.
"That was pathetic. Then again, he was the first obstacle"
Your stomach rumbles again.

LOOT GET!
-Bottomless Bag of Someone else's mail
-Mail-truck Keys
-20 Moolah

Spoiler: status/inventory (click to show/hide)

Health: Kung Fine!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Wallet: 20 Mpplah
Items: Bag of Mail - You could deliver a nasty paper cut with all those bills
Mail-truck Keys: Key's to Post Man's ride


Kung Fu Special Techniques:
  -Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
  -Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
  -Kung Fu Man's Secret Move!: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]

Now what to do with Post Man?
A. Leave him in the street. He's not worth the extra effort.
B. Ain't no rest for the wicked. Finish him off.
C. He's still breathing. Take him back to the dojo-house and interrogate him for info.

[NRDL]

C

As much as I want to Kenshiro his ass, interrogation is a must.

[HugeNerdAndProudOfIt]

C

[King Zultan]

C

[TamerVirus]

C. He's still breathing. Take him back to the dojo-house and interrogate him for info.

Post Man groans weakly as you drag his crumpled body out of the road and back into your dojo like a lion draging a slain gazelle.
"Come now! Your ordeal hasn't even begun!"
Unfortunately, its quite difficult to extract information from an unconscious body.

[3]
"Wake up"  smack "Wake up"  smack "Wake up"  smack "Wake up"  smack

Roughly an hour and a half of smacking across the face later, You finally knock a little sense into Post Man.
Then you strap him upside down to your alarm-gong and get to work.

[1v4]
"Speak. What do you know about the Society. WHERE IS CHEF MAN?!?! WHERE IS MY FRIDGE?!?

"Y-y-you may have beaten me.... BUT I AIN'T A RAT!" he indigmently spits in your face

You kung fu kick him in the liver. Then his right arm. Then his right ring finger. "You'll talk. They always talk. I'll make that for sure"

[6v1]
"Liked Kung Fu Fighting? Then you'll definitely love its 1974 follow up."

You lock Post Man in a broom closet and turn on a portable radio. A song starts to play

DANCE THE KUNG FUUU^Uuuuuu~~~

N-No! NO! NOT THAT! STOP! YEARRRGGGGHHHHHHhHhhhh!!!!

The song plays on repeat as you close your eyes and meditate admits the disco and bloodcurdling screams.

Spoiler: until... (click to show/hide)

"OKAY! OKAY! I"LL TALK! MAKE IT STOP! I'LL TAAAAALLLLKKKK!"

You drag him out. "Speak. Or its back in the hole. Your choice"

"Back in 76, I hit an old lady on a mopad with-" WA-DA! You chop him directly on the forehead
"Wrong. Try again"
"Savage Man! Savage Man is at the jer-" YAH! You punch him in the spleen.
"CHEF MAN! MY FRIDGE! SPEAK! NOW!"
"The Colonel knows! Overheard him talkin on the phone. Something about filmin' a documentary! Or a commercial! I think they're showing off your fridge like its some ancient vault but that's all I know! I'm just a Post Man. They don't tell me squat! Its all I know! I swear! C'mon man, I ain't no boss encounter, cut me some slack here!"

"And I'm just a Man who knows Kung Fu. Where's Colonel now?"
"El Pollo Loco! The only one in town! Every Tuesday, Colonel eats at El Pollo Loco!

Kung Fu Man glares at the bruised and battered Post Man. A stomach growl pierces the silence . Getting hungry. Chicken for lunch sounds about right. Now one more choice on the fate of Post Man

A. Return Post Man to sender. In a coffin. 
B. Lock Post Man into the Kung Fu Basement and deal with him later. He still might be useful. Its lunch time and you haven't eaten any breakfast!
C. Subject Post Man to some more of Carl Douglas's  "Dance the Kung Fu" as you follow up on his lead. He might have more info later, if his mind is still there.
D. Knock him out and drop him off somewhere. We've done enough to him.

Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)

Health: Kung Fine!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Wallet: 20 Moolah
Items: Bag of Mail - You could deliver a nasty paper cut with all those bills
Mail-truck Keys: Key's to Post Man's ride


Kung Fu Special Techniques:
  -Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
  -Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
  -Kung Fu Man's Secret Move!: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]