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[Pavellius]

Better head to AA.

+1

[King Zultan]

BA

[Man of Paper]

BA

[TamerVirus]

2/4, 6/0/0/1
Trait acquired: Path of JC.

Spoiler: old memories (click to show/hide)

You once knew him as one “Mr. Han”. others called him “Jimmy Tong”, “Inspector Lee”, and even “The Drunken Master”. He was one of those guys who went by many different names. To you, he was one of many, many different teachers of different skills. Despite the many bad days he faced, he had a pragmatic approach to fighting that got him out of many life threatening situations. A pragmatic approach that you have adopted. A chair. A ladder. A table. A vase. A tie. Scaffolding. Anything is a weapon. Everything is a weapon.
“Do not let the circumstances control you. You change your circumstances”

You grab the Colonel’s hand and give it a firm shake. “You’re not too bad, yourself, Colonel.”

[(?) The Colonels will remember that]

“Yeah. You’re an odd fellow, but you’re a good hand. I respect that. The boss will be happy to hear about the ass kicking that happened today. Really happy.”
“You know, I had a thought. Boss? You mean that old guy I met at El Pollo Loco earlier? I mean…he’s called Colonel. You’re also called Colonel. Shouldn’t that mean that you’re both of equal rank? Both of ya wear that white suit ensemble. Doesn’t that get confusing after a while?”
“Now you listen here, smart-ass. I’m a Colonel. That old guy, Harland? He’s also a Colonel. We’re not the only ones. You know the saying about how ‘all are created equal, but some are more equal to others’ It's kinda like that.”
“...uh huh. Right… Seems a bit complicated for a just a fast food company.”
”Just a fast food company? Man, We..We just slaughtered a bunch of Renaissance fair role play rejects. Does that sound like normal fast food company behavior?
“Yes!”
“....point taken.”

You hear a nasty cough. Sounds like the last remaining Squire woke up. You turn around and notice the Squire strapped to a chair. His name was Edward or something? Popcorn and Buffalo stand nearby, menacingly. Looks like somebody is about to have a foul time.
 
“Just remembered. Got a folder back at the safe house for you. Was told to give to you if you did good today. I think it was info on that guy you wanted to kill really bad. The chickens got that guy handled, so it ain’t all that necessary for you to stick around here. We can head back now, if you want.”

A) “I tortured a guy just this morning, actually. I’m down for some more.”
B) “Bah. This diversion has gone on for way too long. I’m done here.”
C) “You know, I’m still really curious about what that horn thing was all about. I’m gonna investigate”

[Man of Paper]

I mean I feel like an exploratory option is a trap, so obviously we must take it.

C

[crazyabe]

A.

[Ardent Debater]

I mean I feel like an exploratory option is a trap, so obviously we must take it.

C

KUNG FU MAN LEAVES NO STONE UNTURNED!

[Doomblade187]

I mean I feel like an exploratory option is a trap, so obviously we must take it.

C

KUNG FU MAN LEAVES NO STONE UNTURNED!

+1

[ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES]

C

[Rockeater]

C

[King Zultan]

C

[The_Two_Eternities]

A

[TamerVirus]

2/0/6

“You know, I’m still really curious about what that horn thing was all about. I’m gonna investigate”
“If you say so. Listen, I gotta make a couple of calls. Holler if you find something.”

“Oh god, prithee alloweth me wend. Prithee. I've did get kids. Just alloweth me wend. Oh god. Has't m'rcy on thy souls!” You ignore the fearful lamentations of the sole surviving Squire as the two odd chickens do … something unpleasant to him.

Now where was this horn? Oh yeah, you saw it during the fight earlier. It was in the back of the kitchen, hanging from a wall. You do an unnecessary Kung Fu flip over the counter and into the food prep area. Nothing here seems out of the ordinary: fryers, heaters, and metal counter tops placed to ensure maximum burger making efficiency. One Squire’s corpse continues to sizzle and crackle in the hot oil, while blood from the decapitated body of another Squire slowly settles in the grooves of the tile floor.

You reach the back of the kitchen and find the horn cleanly sliced into two pieces. Next to the horn is a thick metal door. The walk in freezer?

[Perception:4] The horn has an antiquated design: a straight but slightly unwieldy tube of brass with a flared end. Looks like something a Medieval herald would use at the jousting tournament. Go figure. Etched on one side is a cartoony looking cow head.

In the wall, you notice a slit at the same oblique angle which bisected the horn. The slit goes straight through the wall and out the other side. Looking through the slit, you see a fallen light pole, also cut at an angle. Huh. Perhaps you threw that envelope a little too well.

Item Get!
- Medieval Horn (broken)

You stuff the pieces of horn in your mailbag. Maybe it’ll be useful later. Maybe you’ll find someone who can fix it. Maybe it’ll make for a good projectile.

“Damn, son. Maybe you should have been a postman.” You turn and see the Colonel. “You find anything?”
“Just this horn. Its...uh.. sliced in half”
“Broken, eh? Well, I ain’t some expert on horns. Your best bet would probably be the pawn shop. Those guys know experts for all sorts of random bullshit. I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew a guy who could fix that shit.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You done?”
“Nah. Kung Fu Man leaves no stone unturned. That freezer is one big stone. It needs to be turned over.”

You go and put your hand on the cold metal door handle. You have a strange feeling in your gut.

A)- No guts, no glory! Throw open the freezer door
B)- Best not to think about it. I already got this horn, so its time to leave
C)- Grab the Squire/Archer/broken man from the chickens and have him open the door.

Spoiler: Kung Status (click to show/hide)

Health: Kung Okay!
Equipment: White Battle Gi, Black Belt, Blue Headband
Wallet: 190 Moolah
Traits: Path of JC (lvl1)- Increased effectiveness when using improvised weapons
Items: Bag of Mail - You could deliver a nasty paper cut with all those bills
Mail-truck Keys: Keys to the Kung Fu Fist Delivery Truck
Wooden Sword: Careful, you might get a splinter swinging that around
Rubber Chicken Bullhorn: It screams with the might of a thousand condemned chickens
Medieval Horn (broken): As useful as crap metal until fixed

Kung Fu Special Techniques:
  -Kung Fu Palm Thrust (lv1): A straight thrust to the gut. [small chance to stun]
  -Kung Fu Chop (lvl1): Slice through defense with your bare hands! [chance to ignore armor]
  -Ro-Sham-Bo: Channel your energy for a devastating maneuver [requires charge-up, chance to stun, high chance of critical hit]

[crazyabe]

A!!!

[Pavellius]

A!!!

+1
It's just a minotaur, after all