Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

lettuce

5 (11.6%)

lettuce

3 (7%)

lettuce

7 (16.3%)

lettuce

7 (16.3%)

cabbage

21 (48.8%)

Total Members Voted: 30

Voting closed: March 17, 2018, 10:19:31 pm

[CABL]

Does Cabbage Roll count as a healing item?

It is, but it's a minor healing item. It's good if you have a lot of bruises and small cuts, but useless for healing heavy damage, like broken limbs.

[Egan_BW]

"Behold, fools! I'll show you true food!"
Grab a chicken by the neck, behead it with sharp knife, use knife to speedily butcher it, removing all feathers and giblets. Flash-roast the chicken using pyromancy (pyromancy doesn't even require any stats, all you need is the flame!), cut cooked bits off of the chicken and apply them to one half the available cabbage rolls, in case anyone here is vegetarian.
Also cast Warmth with my pyromancy flame (Creates a gentle flame that lingers in the air, healing everyone around it gradually. Lasts for 60 seconds (10 rounds)) so that wierd's legs heal.

[scourge728]

"Praise be to Gaben, for he has blessed me with ☼Holy Steam Sales☼ and ☼Holy Sword of the clan of Half Life☼, I wear the ☼Holy Armor of Team Fortress the second☼ and I shall smite those false prophets, those idol worshipers, for the Holy Goal of summoning Half-Life 3!"*Starts stabbing inquisitors*

[TamerVirus]

What the hell is this thread?

[scourge728]

!!☼FUN☼!!

[Egan_BW]

actually that would be ‼☼Fun☼‼

[CABL]

I'm currently waiting for wierd to post his action argument. Then I can move the game discussion.

[bloop_bleep]

"FOOLS! YOU WILL NOW SEE MY TRUE POWER! BEHOLD.... THE SERVANTS OF THE TWELFTH BAY!"

>bloop_bleep begins chanting an incantation in some unknown eldritch god language. Suddenly, the ground begins to shake as thousands of rabid dwarves flow over the hills.

[wierd]

Chews on another cabbage roll, plants the large cleaver into the cultist that clobbered him with the book.

[CABL]

"Behold, fools! I'll show you true food!"
Grab a chicken by the neck, behead it with sharp knife, use knife to speedily butcher it, removing all feathers and giblets. Flash-roast the chicken using pyromancy (pyromancy doesn't even require any stats, all you need is the flame!), cut cooked bits off of the chicken and apply them to one half the available cabbage rolls, in case anyone here is vegetarian.
Also cast Warmth with my pyromancy flame (Creates a gentle flame that lingers in the air, healing everyone around it gradually. Lasts for 60 seconds (10 rounds)) so that wierd's legs heal.

[6] You sliced a chicken into pieces instead of just beheading. Chickens are ANGERY!
[1] You accidentally flash-roasted your own hand instead of chicken meat stripes! Ouch!
[4] You cast Warmth. The spell has successfully healed wierd's broken legs.

"Praise be to Gaben, for he has blessed me with ☼Holy Steam Sales☼ and ☼Holy Sword of the clan of Half Life☼, I wear the ☼Holy Armor of Team Fortress the second☼ and I shall smite those false prophets, those idol worshipers, for the Holy Goal of summoning Half-Life 3!"*Starts stabbing inquisitors*

[5 vs 5] scourge728 appears out of nowhere, and starts smiting the inquisitors. He mutilates most of the Squad 1, but an inquisitor lands a good hit right onto scourge728's testicles. scourge728 is in Pain Shock!

"FOOLS! YOU WILL NOW SEE MY TRUE POWER! BEHOLD.... THE SERVANTS OF THE TWELFTH BAY!"

>bloop_bleep begins chanting an incantation in some unknown eldritch god language. Suddenly, the ground begins to shake as thousands of rabid dwarves flow over the hills.

[5] 3 thousands of steel-clad dwarves arrive on the battlefield!

Chews on another cabbage roll, plants the large cleaver into the cultist that clobbered him with the book.

[4] You chew on another cabbage roll, which heals your heave bruise on the right cheek.
[4 vs 4] You plant the large cleaver into the cultist's chest! He cringes in pain and falls on the ground. However, his teammate bashes you in the head with a pole! You feel dizzy!

Squad 1 of the Cabbage Inquisition retreats!
[6 vs 4] Dwarves of Bay12 mercilessly slaughter Squad 2 of the Cabbage Inquisition!
[5 vs 4] Chickens leave multiple bites on Egan_BW's body!

500 Heavy Inquisitors have arrived on the battlefield! They wear special "silvered" steel plates, which gives them some magical protection. They are armed with lucerne hammers, so they are able to penetrate dwarven armor!

And for now, GM is going to sleep...

[scourge728]

"Well, this seems like a good time to..... leave until I can get the various Knights and Infantries....... HOLY VANISHING" *portals away back to Valve HQ and closes the portal afterwards so no one can follow, and if they do the Portal Knights will slaughter them*

[Egan_BW]

I use my smartphone to call the orbital Tradestar, and buy a rocket containing 9000 free crabs.

[4] The rocket arrives from the sky and belches forth a massive tide of mushed crab parts. The universe becomes unable to deal with so many entities and begins deleting parts from the members of the two armies present (and everyone else.)

[5] scourge is unaffected.
[2] bloop_bleep's limbs crumple into gibs!
[4] wierd is unaffected.
[6] Parts of crab fly into me and I subsume them into my body, becoming a crab-man!
[4] Inquisitorial squad 1 loses a single member to free crabs.
[1] The flying Xcrab partsX strikes the Dwarven Army in the everything and it explodes in gore!
[5] The "Heavy Inquisitors" (are you sure you don't mean Arbites...?) are unaffected, as the crab bits simply bounce off their heavy armor.
[5] CrocAndBearLover blocks the crab damage with his godly GM powers. Not that it would be a large hinderence if he had been hit.

i like dice

Edit:

"Well, this seems like a good time to..... leave until I can get the various Knights and Infantries....... HOLY VANISHING" *portals away back to Valve HQ and closes the portal afterwards so no one can follow, and if they do the Portal Knights will slaughter them*

[5] You rip a portal open and step through it, and it closes right behind you. Smooth. Usually doing that sort of thing allows AT LEAST five demons into reality.
The valve crown guards lower their steam halberds and shout "Halt! Who goes there!?"

[scourge728]

((By portal, I meant like a portal from the game Portal, y'know Valve game and everything, but that works too )) "I am Scourge DCCXXVIII ((728)) High Royal Holy Knight of Valve, I serve Lord Gaben, blessed are we, those who serve him, for we are gifted with ☼Holy Steam Sales☼ and the right to rule over the console peasants, as it is written in the Book of Gaben."

[Pancakes]

Back to our regularly scheduled, organic cabbageposting

[Egan_BW]

((By portal, I meant like a portal from the game Portal, y'know Valve game and everything, but that works too )) "I am Scourge DCCXXVIII ((728)) High Royal Holy Knight of Valve, I serve Lord Gaben, blessed are we, those who serve him, for we are gifted with ☼Holy Steam Sales☼ and the right to rule over the console peasants, as it is written in the Book of Gaben."

((Well the portal gun wouldn't work because you lack line-of-sight to valve HQ.))

"Yer story checks out hoss. Welcome back, sir."