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Author Topic: Ägashfamthut, "Bandithorses," Where we steal everything and die to caves  (Read 64562 times)

Derpy Dev

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eyyyy named sword. Hopefully it translates to something cool.

Sorry, but apparently your dwarf's the kind of idiot that names a god-slaying blade CruxGlitter.

Lunardog15

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hey don't be dissing CruxGlitter you're just sad cause you want a sparkly sword too 
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everything is fine
 everything is on fire
I see no difference between these two phrases.
only at modded hell does this make sense

Stoat tales

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Tonight fam, sorry for real life getting in the way
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LordBrassroast

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PTW. Can I get any military dorf?
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Derpy Dev

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hey don't be dissing CruxGlitter you're just sad cause you want a sparkly sword too

That's fair :<

Okay I know this meme is old as shit.

But.

Every time you wield CruxGlitter the sparkle sword.

Stoat tales

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Sorry for the delay peeps, welcome back to Bandit Horses chapter 6!

Since the last journal entry, there have been some... Developments. Firstly, i was finally acquainted with 2 of our new migrants from last month. A Gemstone cutter by the name of Imit (who we put to work immediately, he was less then impressed) and a former soldier of the dwarvern imperial guard, Lord Brassroast. His skills he gained on the battlefield have clearly not deserted him, so we appointed him to our spearman group.

That and several dwarves have had some rather negative opinions as to my puppy abortions. I invited them for a sit down and a friendly talk however one of the ringleaders, n oddly named dwarf going by "lunardog15" was extreamly irate about my perceived crime of saving our frame rate culling our weakest. I mean, come on, they're only puppies. I know King Zultan is behind this, he's never been the same since every last one of his bunnies was burned to death...  :'(

But that's old news and old news bores me, look what was made!:

Pretty sweet right?

The humans arrived, i know i can barely stand them but it sure beats the yearly visits we get from the elves. They didn't have much to trade though, clothes too big to wear, weapons to weird to wield etc. They did bring some of that delicious raspberry wine though and some skunk meat. Gotta give them their credit this time.


Wut?
HOW DID WE DO THAT?!
I clearly haven't been paying my fisher dwarves enough

Meanwhile, underground, a whole new world of crops has sprung to life, Shadethistles, oreberries, cave grapes etc, I can't wait to see how these plants taste... umm, grow too, yeah...

We only got 1 migrant this season, probably due to me writing a stern letter to the mountain homes about overcrowding. I have no idea who she is or where she came from, she could be a hobo or a lizard dwarf for all i know. We'll be keeping tabs on her for certain.

Besides that, i'm taking efforts to improve our bedrooms and our graveyard, we've had several sleepwalking AND deadwalking incidents already, so next season will be fully taking priority of that.

That aside, summer comes to a close and as the cooler winds of autumn gust into our fortress, we pray that the elves do not invite themselves into our home...

Lest we invite ourselves to theirs first!

To Be Continued...
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Stoat tales

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Welcome back friends to Bandithorses.

Autumn is upon us and with it, trading season, we've made some silver crafts ready for our trader friends to arrive, hopefully we can replenish our bunny supply that was sadly lost to the wave of titans we've been having over the years.

Aside from that, the bedrooms and the graveyard needs to be improved. It wasn't a difficult task, they were already half finished from last season.

Our foray into the deep has uncovered some weird monsters though:

Lord Armok Almighty, i hope we never have to fight any of those.

We also had another Artifact made:

This one is pretty cool i guess

In our down time, I've had Amaranth make sure some lavish meals, if nothing else they're very valuable to traders. I don't know how Amaranth feels about us literally giving away her food as opposed to eating it but, you know what they say, a cook can't poison you if you don't eat their food.

Oh no...


Immediately, our swordsdwarf Zutthan charged the hoard, slicing a path straight through the elvish turds, with Youngbab and the rest of our military following her. A young soldier I've nicknamed "coattails" was right behind Zutthan and continued to slaughter our enemies from behind Zuhhtan's coattails.
It turns out only those 2 were needed for Youngbab and Pickachu17 to advance and scatter their forces to the wind. After the slaughter of around 40 elves, only one lone human mercenary was left, with her army destroyed, her friends dead and certain death staring her up from 3 foot, she stood tall, proud and...

Died a horrible, violent death. 41 Elf deaths, 0 Dwarf deaths.
One of our dwarves was injured though, so he'll be taken care of, other then that, we seem to be doing well in our little war. And just in time for the traders to arrive! There was only one thing i asked from them, a shit ton of rabbits, obviously but there were several other creepy crawlies that they had for order, so i asked to bring some of them too. We bought a ton of food, some metal bars, steel weapons, some yak, and most importantly, a single Bun :)
I also put forward the order for our merciful and gracious queen manager to be promoted to Baronhood. Three cheers for our new overlord :)
While this was going on, a few elves that we'd saved from the terrible fate of being an elf have requested citizenship into our glorious fort, how could i refuse?

Finale Tomorrow, Promise this time :)
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 02:55:35 pm by Stoat tales »
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youngbab

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I'd call my guy unstoppable but I'd really hate to jinx it. If I recall correctly, a lot of our sworddwarves (mine included) were super close to getting a title. Anyone get one?
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ZM5

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Kinda surprised you haven't mentioned the layer 3 plants creeping in, I'd imagine the slow growth of them would be more than a tad unnerving - unless the third layer was a muddy one, in which case I don't think they'd spawn.

Stoat tales

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I'd call my guy unstoppable but I'd really hate to jinx it. If I recall correctly, a lot of our sworddwarves (mine included) were super close to getting a title. Anyone get one?
Last I checked, your dwarf has over 40 sentient kills, I don't think anyone could kill youngbab at this point, he killed half of the last siege himself without a scratch.
Kinda surprised you haven't mentioned the layer 3 plants creeping in, I'd imagine the slow growth of them would be more than a tad unnerving - unless the third layer was a muddy one, in which case I don't think they'd spawn.
Mud layer, it's a shame because there's not a massive amount to explore in this new mod, at least that saves us from evil cave moss.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2018, 03:56:21 pm by Stoat tales »
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Stoat tales

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End of Autumn

Well fam, last month was a trip, a failed elven siege and the traders brought some goodies. i suppose this final stretch of the year is just finishing up everything that we've yet to end.
Our military, while well manned and lets be honest, too strong to lose to anything, they are quite underarmed, i'll take this opportunity to buy some armour for our dwarves.
The bedrooms are being finished, i think most of our "important" dwarves now all have bedrooms, but now the most daunting task begins; creating Derpy Dev's new baron chambers.


Meanwhile, the puupy season has arrived and I've had to slaughter like 25 puppies, it's for the good of the fort. At least now we have our prized bun :)

Are you serious?  >:(


Ok enough, dumb stuff, time to take the fight to the elves

I've ordered our forces to decimate a small elven outpost, mostly just to see how competent we are at bashing them back. I have no doubts about our swordsdwarf group (4 dwarves > 40 Elves) but our newer axedwarf group needs practice.

Upon returning, our forces slaughtered around 20 elves and lost one of our own, a new recruit, may the rest in pieces.

I have a worrying suspicion that Youngbab may be Armok in disguise, he massacred half of all the elves we killed. Remind me not to spit in his cereal today....

To be continued
(sorry i can't finish the fort today fam, today was supposed to be my day off and I've been called in, i'll finish the year very soon.)
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speciesunkn0wn

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PTW and I'd like to be a military dorf! :D
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DF Veterans- n. - One who has lost one or more forts due to a stupid oversight.

Morality is relative,/Puppies are cheap,/Dwarves are zealots of,/A place that creeps and leaks,/where oversears send them to die,/so we may feast on their on their sorrow,/as we chew on their marrow
Just never forget,/That Bloodyhells is always a threat.

Derpy Dev

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Okay Youngbab being such a badass is exactly why I say that he should be baron lol

deathpunch578

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this is rad, can I be dorfed?
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Someone hands you a basketful of Jeses.
Cheerful with a side of wink wink nudge nudge I bet this guy's spine would look great mounted on my wall.
You ever get so mad you fuck a donkey?

pikachu17

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Who died, and did I do well in the battle?
Oh, and is my husband/wife still alive?
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Sigtext!
dwarf 4tress from scratch
The Pikachu revolution!
Thank you NatureGirl19999 for the avatar switcher at http://signavatar.com

A warforged bard named Gender appears and says"Hello. I am a social construct."
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