Herein, we attempt to strike a blow against patriarchal hierarchic systems of attachment. And so, in honor of the late Ursula K. Le Guin do I dedicate this episode.
Also, Valentine's day. Yay!
Ask the vamp to become her lieutenant (I assume he is a she), and inquire about any troubles.
Yes, I am a she. I misread that at first as, "ask to become Jonic's lieutenant." This makes more sense as he's the one with the title. However, I played ahead before I saw your question. As it stands now we both have titles, suggesting a much better approach. We shall each pledge ourselves to the other, lieutenants of blissful reciprocity! Outside of of hacking, that has to be the closest thing to marriage in adventure mode. Right?
Episode synopsis: life with a vampire is, in a word, suck.
There's a tavern only a short walk away from the lair. I feel like some prep work is in order before we get to gate crashing. I'll pick on some random asshole in the bar to argue with instead of Jonic, but first, all things done well are to be done right and proper.
You pick up the pyrolusite barrel with your left hand.
You drink the Longland beer [40].
You drop the pyrolusite barrel.
Jonic: I think self-control is key. Master yourself.
Yeah, well, I don't really need to be focused to be dangerous do I? Hokay, sensei, let's do this your way. Back we go.
We discover the lair entrance. As usual, I have some difficulty moving through the hatch. I keep missing the down-slope and end up hopping around the entrance. I slide down the slope on the forth try and turn to watch how Mr. Snickering handles this. He casually strolls in like he's playing some kind of game with me. Fine. Score one for the boys. I kit up and we hunt.
The resident night troll turns out to be an unarmed, unequipped, completely bear assed bint with wings. Perfect.
You: I'm in charge of Burialdead now. Make way for lady Itvid Taperedmeads the Trustworthy Siege of Packing and The Council of Spattering!
(Prophetic. Let the testing begin! Obligingly, she goes after my beau.)
The moon woman Rufithi: I don't know anything about that.
The moon woman Rufithi punches Jonic in the left foot with her left hand, but the attack is deflected by Jonic's bronze low boot!
Jonic: This is my fight too. There is no need to feel vengeful.
Jonic attacks the moon woman Rufithi but She jumps away!
(She dodged directly away from me but is still next to him. It's just Jonic and her now. I stand back and watch.)
The moon woman Rufithi grabs Jonic by the nose from the side with her right wing!
(Whoa. Nice move. Get her, Jonic!)
Jonic stabs the moon woman Rufithi in the right wing with the bronze spear, tearing the fat!
The bronze spear has lodged firmly in the wound!
The moon woman Rufithi punches Jonic in the thumb, left hand from the side with her right hand, but the attack is deflected by Jonic's bronze left gauntlet!
The force bends the left hand, tearing apart the fat and tearing apart the left wrist's muscle and bruising the bone!
A ligament in the left wrist has been bruised and a tendon has been bruised!
Jonic loses hold of the bronze spear.
(No and nope! I sprint back into the fight and try to get between them.)
Jonic misses the moon woman Rufithi!
The moon woman Rufithi takes Jonic down by the nose with The moon woman Rufithi's right wing!
Jonic: The battle rages... I laugh in the face of death!
Jonic stands up.
(Yo!)
The moon woman Rufithi releases the grip of The moon woman Rufithi's right wing on Jonic's nose.
The moon woman Rufithi charges at Jonic!
The moon woman Rufithi collides with Jonic!
Jonic is knocked over!
Jonic stands up.
(Yo, bitch!)
The moon woman Rufithi misses you!
You attack the moon woman Rufithi but She jumps away!
Jonic attacks the moon woman Rufithi but She jumps away!
The moon woman Rufithi strikes at Jonic but the shot is blocked with the bronze shield!
Jonic misses the moon woman Rufithi!
You bash the moon woman Rufithi in the left lower arm from behind with your *«≡silver war hammer≡»*, chipping the bone!
The force bends the left upper arm, tearing apart the muscle and bruising the bone!
An artery has been opened by the attack, many nerves have been severed and a tendon has been torn!
(THAT'S FOR TOUCHING JONIC!)
Jonic: Those injuries... Begone fear!
(Close your eyes and hide in the corner, sweetie.)
The moon woman Rufithi misses you!
You bash the moon woman Rufithi in the left wing with your *«≡silver war hammer≡»*, chipping the bone!
The moon woman Rufithi attacks you but You jump away!
(HA! No flying escape for you. Wait! Jonic NO! Sprinting in again, go I.)
The moon woman Rufithi grabs Jonic by the upper front teeth from behind with her right upper arm!
Jonic misses the moon woman Rufithi!
Jonic: I've defeated many fearsome opponents!
The moon woman Rufithi punches Jonic in the upper body from behind with her right hand, bruising the fat through the sheep wool cloak!
Jonic is unable to break the grip of The moon woman Rufithi's right upper arm on Jonic's upper front teeth!
Jonic stands up.
Jonic misses the moon woman Rufithi!
The moon woman Rufithi releases the grip of The moon woman Rufithi's right upper arm on Jonic's upper front teeth.
The moon woman Rufithi charges at Jonic!
The moon woman Rufithi collides with Jonic!
Jonic is knocked over!
Jonic stands up.
The moon woman Rufithi misses Jonic!
(GET OFF HIM!)
You bash the moon woman Rufithi in the head from behind with your *«≡silver war hammer≡»*, bruising the muscle and chipping the skull!
The force twists the neck and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The moon woman Rufithi has been struck down.
Jonic: Death is all around us. This is truly horrifying.
You: Hey Jonic. Life is, in a word, the moon.
(Really? Whatever. Jonic eats this stuff up.)
Jonic: Hello. It is good to see you. It really is a pleasure to speak with you again. It's good to see you have companions to travel with on your adventures.
You: How are you feeling right now?
Jonic: How fleeting life is... Begone fear!
You pick up the bronze spear and put it in your hemp backpack.
You strap the *«≡silver war hammer≡»* to your Upper body.
You strap the +iron shield+ to your Upper body.
You strap the +«+iron shield+»+ to your Upper body.
You strap the +«+iron shield+»+ to your Upper body.
You take out the bronze spear.
You: Let's trade.
Jonic: You should probably try a shopkeeper.
Oh that attitude! He's a little ruffled right now. I understand. I eventually figure out how to talk him into retaking his spear. As his hand is injured he sensibly folds this into a rope reed pouch for safe keeping.
We return to town so I can fetch a splint for his hand, but it turns out he only needed to walk it off. With that out of the way I pick up a few things for our lair. A few odds and ends, a chest or two, a zinc cage, and a barrel of the good stuff. Along the way I ask discreetly about how entitlements and lieutenantshipping works. My grand plan flashes to vapor before my eyes! Turns out there's some cosmic law against, although there might be a loophole if work my way up instead. Try going steady first off. OK!
Back at the lair again we settle in. I sit down and inch up to him. He senses some nonsense or other is brewing but I miss his warning shot and press on.
You: Hey Jonic. Praise the moon.
Jonic: Hello. It is good to see you. It really is a pleasure to speak with you again. Hopefully your friends can dissuade you from this foolishness.
You: I would be honored to serve as a hearthperson. Will you have me?
Jonic: You are not worthy of such an honor yet. I am sorry.
You: I would be honored if you would become a hearthperson. Will you have me as lady?
Jonic: I cannot accept this honor. I am sorry.
You aren't picking up any odor in particular.
*sniff*
I hate Valentine's day.
Author
Topic: I'm. No. Lady. You male chauvinist PIG! (Read 8681 times)