This is... a lot of posts. Not that I'm complaining.
I left this update late. If I don't finish it tonight, then tomorrow morning.
Build us some Hell on Wheels to get us there faster.
You build a Hell on Wheels on wheels in hell. The Godmodder gives you props for creating it, before getting everyone to jump in. Hell on Wheels is now the group's main vehicle -- until it gets horribly destroyed, that is!
Whenever the godmodder moves, rotate him slighty toward the nearest virgin. If at any point he crosses into the melee zone, gouge out said virgin's eyes and bathe in the ensuing bloodbath.
After too long under the burning black hole calling itself a sun, the Godmodder finds himself back on Earth, standing at somebody's door. The Godmodder is confused, but decides to go along with it anyway as you compel him to rip open the door. The Godmodder enters the house, carrying a piece of scrap metal secretly the best knife in the world. You find a young man at his computer screen. The Godmodder stabs him and bathes in his blood. You feel refreshed.
You are no longer the Godmodder's skin -- you're Secheral, and you've just been stabbed to death!
Hmmm scary guardian guy. Whelp, Octo failed but this will do fe. : Karate chops so hard it makes a portal, mass acceleratescworld on other side so a halo of light appears on highbtechvWarth. Sacrifices all life and culture of said world into destructive beam Halo, which it’s energies pour into enemy up ahead.:
“ Extinction Drive!”
You annihilate a civilisation to power a beam of destruction. The Hell Guardian looks at you, and you hear a strange slurping noise. The beam crashes into the Hell Guardian, dealing 15 damage. You look at the abomination strangely -- what the place you're currently in? That's actually ridiculous, everyone thinks. You can't just shrug off a beam that overpowered like that?
The Hell Guardian smirks.
"Gwahah! Here in hell, we specialise in inflicting torment on both the you over here, and the Big You Above! Don't know what I'm talking about? Good, because neither do I. We know you like overpowered things, so we take the power away from you, and bring everyone to the same level field."The Hell Guardian beats its chest.
>Drop the lowest level of heaven on hell, technically moving the Godmodder down an entire level.
You technically move the Godmodder down an entire level. He's travelled farther, but his distance percentage doesn't actually change.
I'm making a holy knight thing now
Take out holy sword, mount holy horse, stab demons with sword while riding horse all while screaming DEUS VULT
Welcome to the game, Scourge! What a nice name to be killing demons to.You take a holy sword and deal 10 holy damage to the Hell Guardian, the first (and only) demon you can find! The Hell Guardian doesn't like it, and looks at your holy horse, before taking out its sword and a chopping board.
BUST THROUGH A WALL AND SHOOT THE DEMON TO DEATH WITH THE AK-47 IN MY TINY T-REX ARMS, WAGE WAR.
The Hell Guardian points out that it's in hell, and therefore probably already dead, so you can't actually shoot it to death. Its brother, named Geoffrey, butts in and points out that the Hell Guardian is a type of demon that was born and raised in Hell, as opposed to being a demon reaped from the charred and tormented souls of filthy sinners such as yourself. The Hell Guardian then sweeps Geoffrey under the mat of hellfire and brimstone. You break in, Kool-Aid Man style anyhow.
"I don't get it either, mister GM. I'm going to stab you now."
Who gives a shit about that weeb crap anyway. Stab the godmodder with my thorn angel blade hands.
BTW because hell isn't a part of realspace I assume it works like the void so I'm not in my armor.
You threaten to stab a Gruesome Murderer, and get lucky -- no Gruesome Murderers emerge from the shadows, though it's not impossible that they may be planning to Gruesomely Murder you. Do you know what does emerge from the Shadows, though? Hell on Wheels. It runs you over.
Depends on what part of Hell you're in. For now, sure enough, but some parts are more material(istic) than others.
You attempt to stab the Godmodder with your thorn angel blade hands...
The arid and infernal landscape births a solitary figure, who hastily joins up with the main procession of this multitude. She looks rather scared by something, perhaps being in hell wasn’t her first choice of a holiday vacation. She stares at the Godmodder clearly recognizing him before she winces in pain at some unknown stimuli and the moment fades, she continues moving to meet the Escorted One. “You’re him, you’re, you’re not golden.” She looks him over as if her gaze would act like a visual Midas touch. “I guess it doesn’t really matter, you actually exist. I was told to find you.” She looks at him almost smiling, “Listen, I’m going to help you but I need you to-” Her train of thought is cut off into a gasp, she grabs the Godmodder’s hand after observing the loathsome thing and begins to sprint with him in tow determined to far away as possible from it. ”Don’t look back, just run!
Welcome to hell, Escortee.
"
More help? I've tried so hard to ensure I go to hell, and instead I get my own flock of guardian angels. Anyway, red girl! My voice is golden, and everyone with synthesia that I've met describes me as golden. To be fair, the only people that I've met with synthesia include myself and myself."
You grab the Godmodder's hand and sprint with him. This involves running in a static position on top of Hell on Wheels! This moves you forward by 0.5%.
Gather resources to help constructing the Hell on Wheels
+25 HP to the Hell on Wheels!
"...Not the ideal choice for post-Christmas rainy day activities. Anyway, if I can do this..."
Attempt to pull a radiant (damage dealing) spear from my back à la Loony Tunes, stab demon if he doesn't try to diplomacy or something.
I definitely agree, but I suppose that's life, no matter what people say.
You stab the demon using a spear of light, dealing 10 damage! It screams and recoils.
: Tosses GM high in air to dodge the knife and then delivers a flying uppercut to Egan, then superbleaps tobair to catch the GM. As he ponders to summon Qlippoth Armor.:
...but the you toss the Godmodder into the air, allowing him to avoid the assault. You consider summoning the Qliphoth Armour (and I'd recommend it, honestly), before attempting to uppercut Egan.
Roll into Tyrant. Because I'm thorny and he has 0 poise (poise no longer exists) he is staggered and thus unable to catch GM, causing the death by falling damage of GM.
But you roll into Tyrant Leviathan, staggering him! The Godmodder takes out an umbrella and floats down Mary Poppins style.
"*huff, huff* Okay, don't worry. He's, uh, he's less powerful than the Godmodder, right? So..."
Carefully aim and shoot at any weak points in the armor. If I can manage it, also stop Egan from sabotaging our objective with another bullet.
10 damage! Egan unfortunately happens to be particularly good at rolling, and his thorns impale your other short, preventing it from harming him.
Roll into Tyrant. Because I'm thorny and he has 0 poise (poise no longer exists) he is staggered and thus unable to catch GM, causing the death by falling damage of GM.
Thorns reveal it is a body double of wood that turns to dust as he catches the GM and runs for it. If this keeps up will pull a bigger trick.:
You
catch the Godmodder while he floats down Mary Poppins style.
Roll into Tyrant. Because I'm thorny and he has 0 poise (poise no longer exists) he is staggered and thus unable to catch GM, causing the death by falling damage of GM.
Thorns reveal it is a body double of wood that turns to dust as he catches the GM and runs for it. If this keeps up will pull a bigger trick.:
You only just thought of that now, not at a time where you'd be able to act on that plan. Nice idea, too bad it's too late~
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
You reverse the effects of Tyrant Leviathan's previous posts, but the Godmodder is still safe, and Tyrant Leviathan has recovered, so you haven't progressed.
Get a gun and shoot the demon.
The Hell Guardian calls you out for being uncreative, as it's already been shot. 3 damage.
Descend enlightenment upon all involved parties, freeing them from dukkha.
The hellishness of Hell reverses this.
Roll into Tyrant. Because I'm thorny and he has 0 poise (poise no longer exists) he is staggered and thus unable to catch GM, causing the death by falling damage of GM.
Thorns reveal it is a body double of wood that turns to dust as he catches the GM and runs for it. If this keeps up will pull a bigger trick.:
You only just thought of that now, not at a time where you'd be able to act on that plan. Nice idea, too bad it's too late~
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Being a person who can control my own time line based on anomaly and time state. It’s not. Just deal with it.
Last chance, stop interrupting me or I wreck you hard after the GM posts. : Speaking as demon got blasted.:
12 damage -- bonus damage for casually inserting that into your speech patterns!
Acquire a suitable handgun, for example the m1911, and make sure the Godmodder reaches the 9th circle. Not neccesserily in one piece, but he has to get there. Also sell the devil some left-over nukes.
You also acquire a M1911. You then go up to the Big Man Downstairs. This teleports you instantly to the Nineth Circle, but not the Godmodder. The Godmodder is forbidden from teleporting, one of the many punishments inflicted upon you once you go to hell.
You can't make out much of anything -- all you see is a garden of spoiler tags, spoiler tags in spoiler tags in spoiler tags, an endless pyramid of hidden not-secrets and characters rotated by an unlucky number. You hear a voice.
"
SO, YOU WISH TO SELL ME NUCLEAR WEAPONS? NOW THAT'S A DEAL I'M UP FOR. I'LL GIVE YOU NOTHING IN RETURN!"
Because you've initiated the deal, you've already accepted. Hell has nukes.
After receiving a message that he couldn't refuse, Sir Elventide grumbled irritably as he was forced to escort the very same obnoxious bastard he'd helped killed a day or so ago. Taking at least twenty of his metallic men with him, Sir Elventide left the rest to continue conquering the reality he renamed 'Elventon' and entered Hell just in time to see Egan attacking the Godmodder. Needless to say, a bad day is about to become something even worse.
"Leave him alone, you stupid troglodyte, or I'll blast you to oblivion with my spells!" Sir Elventide bellowed as he pointed at him accusingly. "Call me a weeb all you want but nobody gets my favorite things destroyed!"
Order some of the metallic men to gang up on Egan and the others to battle the demon while Sir Elventide summons a soft cloud to break the GM's fall.
Your metallic men initially have trouble hurting Egan, due to his irrational HP. After a considerable amount of labouring and suffering, they manage to force him to have rational HP. The other half of your Metallic Men rush the Hell Guardian, dealing 10 damage! The Godmodder's fall is already broken, though he thanks you anyway.
((New Character.))
An alien landing craft jolts through a portal a hundred feet from the the party and a singular alien steps out, waves one of his four upper arms at the door, and walks towards the group as the ship disappears. The alien is a crab-bodied creature with a humanoid torso standing up from it's six legged base. It has four arms and a face that resembles a crustacean. It's whole body is covered in carapace, and weapon and utility belts crisscross its body.
It approaches the group, picks up the godmodder, puts a hoverpack on his back, and tugs him along. Anything in their way will be shot with a plasma rifle.
"Call me Steve, I assume you're the guy who people keep bugging me about. Let's get this over with.
Follow me."
The Godmodder nods. Steve and John? That works.
You move him forward by 0.5%, again delayed by the Hell Guardian. In response, you shoot the Hell Guardian with your plasma rifle, dealing 15 damage!
Incarnate as AAAAAAAAA, an anthropomorphic mass of ethereal A's. Use my stand, King Crimson, to erase time between the godmodder's movements and their effect and thus move the godmodder forward, faster.
You accelerate the Godmodder, in a sense!
Trickle appears in Hell.
"Oh. Hey. So this is what Hell looks like? I'm not impressed. I don't even know what it is but I already know I don't like it."
He walks up to the Godmodder and anti-slaps him. By anti-slapping him, he anti-damages him, so he heals him. Or something.
"It's bad to be back! Is that my new catchphrase? Probably not, because I can only ever use it once every game. Eh, whatever."
The Godmodder can't be healed -- a witch cursed him a long time ago!
You best be careful: demons might shove you into a hole or some evil place like that, and then you'll say your not-catchphrase again.
A TipThe marker
[PG] stands for Pro-Godmodder. It means that this person is with the Godmodder, and protecting him. If you want the
[PG] marker for yourself, you'll have to pay me 1 BTC. Sorry, my friends, but I have to earn that microtransaction money.
The End of the IntroductionThe Godmodder, using his pseudo-acceleration, instantly makes Hell on Wheels go from 0 to 100. The Hell Guardian rushes towards it, but gets run over for 14 damage! Finish it! The Godmodder is vaguely annoyed that nobody has told him why they're doing this, but he'll live.
Tyrant Leviathan: Haste.
Dustan Hache: Cat. on the Godmodder's head.
roseheart: Cat. is the Godmodder's beard.
Secheral:
DEAD.Greatness942, Gwolfski: nineteen eleven, colt fourty-five, holding back the vampires, keeping him alive
Egan_BW: 3.14/3.14 HP. Rational?
[PG] Hell on Wheels: 275/275 HP.
Metallic Men: 5/5 HP. x20.
Hell Guardian: 1/100 HP.
The Godmodder: 10/10 HP. Pseudo-accelerated.
Days Left: 28
[26/01/18].
Distance to the Ninth Circle: 6%.
Author
Topic: Escort the Godmodder! (Read 19268 times)